...but jessyko never liked you back

Yes, the 2010 QMJHL draft has started and yes, I still care. It is just that I am trying to write a PhD thesis here and eventually getting a real job with real pay is slightly (just slightly) more important than blogging about one of the world's most disappointing Jr hockey teams during their (VERY EXTENDED) offseason.

So today Cam Russell pulled the trigger on his first move of the trade period and swapped my beloved Jessyko Bernard to the Rouyn Noranda Huskies for a 5th round pick in 2011. Basically, Jessyko has less value to Cam than a used jock strap stuffed with old banana skins. I (and, like, everyone else on the planet) always got the feeling that Cam was not fond of Jessyko.

BUT I WAS.

My "real" boyfriend tried to put it into terms to make me have a slightly reduced case of the sads after I whined "Why do my feelings not matter?"

He said "... but Jessyko never liked you back".

Pure lies. I am sure of it. I am so crazy it is nothing but absolutely adorable. Right Jessyko?

I would wear a 50 pound beard of bees for that boy...

...or just this shirt.

Please excuse my bitterness

I am still in Ottawa and so I will miss game two of the Battle of Nova Scotia tonight as the Eagles come to Moose Country. The Mooseheads cannot be decapitated as they are already disembodied, so I am sure that the Eagles will instead be attempting to remove their antlers in order to make fancy coat racks. This will be an easy task for the Eagles if the Moose keep playing like they have been (23 goals against, 2 goals for) in their past three games.

While I would love to blame the lack of scoring on the absence of Andrews (2 goals and 5 Assists in 37 games), Lemieux (6 goals and 7 assists in 37 games), Costello (1 goal and 1 assist in 18 games) and Desjardins (3 goals and 10 assists in 33 games), to do so would be laughable. Also laughable is the idea that a defensive unit would completely fall apart in the absence of 17 year old Garrett Clarke and tough guy Spencer Metcalfe.

Do you want to know what laughable looks like. It looks like this
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
milk out the nose
The more painfully laughable the more milk comes out
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


The way this team has been playing is as painful as laughing up milk out your nose. Is Charles Bety the only player who cares when they fuck up this bad? Are they that desperately in need of Knotek?

I am in love with my hockey team. I am not stupid, however. I usually know when I am making a mistake before I make it -  Mistakes are an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call. ** Sometimes girls from Cape Breton make stupid choices when it comes to men. Thus, it makes sense that we can make even stupider  choices when it comes to whole teams of men (or boys). 

Who makes these decisions? (please don't answer):
I have an issue with the Mooseheads trading for Andrew Wigginton. Really, Andrew Wigginton (7G, 6A in 25 games)? Fuck off! Here is a team with NO scoring and the team trades for an 18 year old forward who couldn't make the second worst team in the division - the Bathurst Titan. Shouldn't they be hunting to pick up good players who couldn't make it on a team because that team has too much depth. A strag from Moncton,  Saint John or perhaps Victoriaville.

Noseworthy image from LaMedia

There isn't an 18 year old beastly dreamboat named Tyler Noseworthy *(7G, 11 A in 22 games) just floating around in the MJAHL abyss is there? Oh there is!!! Then WTF are we doing picking up Andrew Wigginton? Now, while Noseworthy is not a skilled forward, he appears to be  more skilled than Wigginton. He is also ruggedly handsome, tough as nails*** and has moobs. Noseworthy would look good in a Moose jersey, any Q jersey, or perhaps even  no jersey and just shoulder pads.

Andrew Langan's talents are still being were being wasted in the MJAHL and he's not the only talented 18 year old wasting away down there. There honestly had to have been a better pick-up than Wigginton for a 9th (ugh and to think that MacDonald was sold for a 12th  *bitterness*).

Let's take a look at how  Mooseheads rejects are doing:
Chad Earle 16G,20A, in 27 games
Eric Louis-Seize 13G, 17A in 26 games
Matt Snow 12G, 14 A in 27 games
RD Chisholm 9G, 16A in 29 games
Scott McDonald 6G, 15A in 29 games
Ben MacAskill 3G, 15A in 27 games
Chuckie Schembri 5G, 8A in 23 games
Kody Orr 7G, 6A in 31 games


My conclusion: the Truro Bearcats need a better photographer.  My other conclusion - Our 'new' GM also makes poor life choices.


I have said my peace. I shall never diss Wigginton again. At least he is kinda cute. awwww. Heart melting, forgiveness setting in in 3,2,1...


Now in Need of a PEI boyfriend:
PEI have realized their vast amout of suckitude and have quit on life. How long can a team last on that shithole island (no offense Andrews and Costello) if they keep sucking? You have to give fans 'something'  at least once in 7 years. Gone is my boyfriend Joel Champagne and a bunch of other raggedy hobos including Chris  Doyle (to Victoriaville with Champagne), Marco Cousineau (Saint John), and Brandon MacLean (Rouyn Noranda). In return PEI have acquired Brad Yetman, Jonathan Bonneau, Michael Stinziani, and 16 year old prospect Michael Ortika.


I feel the worst for behbeh Yeti. The poor guy is playing for Shawinigan last year and when they decide they are going for it and want to load up at the trade deadline they dump him. Then this year with Rouyn, when the team decides they are going for it they also dump him at the trade deadline. The winning teams just don't want him. His situation is so pitiful that it almost makes him boyfriend material. I take a special liking to boys with the shittiest luck. I also like tall boys with pink cheeks.



*I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the Noseworthy family. If I was I would be promoting incest.  I am just trying to make my team ruggedly handsome. 
**From Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath 
***I may be making that up

Tit slapped

Arrrrrg the Titan. Don't they make you just want to give up boobs all together and become an ass man? Yeah, I thought as much.

Last night the Mooseheads took on the Acadie-Bathurst Titan at the K-C Irving regional centre in Bathurst and lost by a score of 4-2.

Julien Tremblay had the first goal for the Titan while captain Eric Faille had a hattie. Mooseheads goals were by Knotek (mmmmm comfortingly familiar PP goal) and Alex Lemiex (hoooray someone else got a goal). Stoddard (finally) and Desjardins assisted on the Lemieux goal while Gerrad Grant had an assist on the Knotek goal. This extends Grant's point steak and makes it the longest point-streak in the league with points in 11 games...and he only has one hand. What will he be able to do with TWO hands?

Ok this is crazy - we currently have a boy with the pointiest point-streak in the league and can't win a game. Grant needs some sort of reward for his suffering. Would kisses with lots of tongue suffice?

Spankings to Joel Grondin for getting pulled halfway through the game after allowing 3 goals on 14 shots. I still heart goalies though, which is why I must remind Grondin that not all spankings need be bad. Some are sexy. Between the two goaltenders the Titan had 4 goals on 26 shots, only 5 of which were dangerous. The Moose were only able to get 2 goals on 39 shots thanks to the painfully above-acceptable goaltending of Nic Champion (who was 2nd star of the game and the league's defensive player of the month for September)

The good:

• Keeping the Tits down to only 5 dangerous shots
• Boys other than Randell/Knotek/Grant getting points
• Randell's game high 6 shots on nets and 3rd star of the game honours
• Fights by Bahm and Metcalfe
• Being 1-1 after 1.

The bad:

• Faceoffs. No boy was able to dominate the faceoffs (Randell and Bernard don't count). Andrews' 8 losses in 10 was especially bad
• MacDonald sits out again
• Grondin lets in 3 goals on 2 dangerous shots. That must mean he let in a softie. The only soft thing I will allow my goalies to have is hair. Soft, fluffy, pre-game hair.
• No hits for Hannay. Maybe he is not my studmuffin!

The Cheremetiev factor:
So the Titan now have Yuri listed as being on their roster - but they spelled his name wrong: Cherementiev. Good start.

Yuri was not playing with the Titan last night because of some paperwork stuff. He will be driving up to Bathurst with his dad today (awwwww).

As you may already know he was recently traded - Yuri and a 5th in 2011 for the Titan's 3rd in 2011. According to Palov should Cheremetiev, A KHL draft pick, stay with the Titan past January 10th the Mooseheads will receive their 5th round pick back.

If Yuri leaves the Tits (as apparently everyone does because no one wants to live in Bathurst) this means that he had less value than Renaud, Stinziani, Leduc, Stich (like no duh)* etc. I kinda thought the addition of the 5th was strange because I would have thought that Yuri was worth more. I began to think that maybe his value went down as the market for 20's dried up. That, and his slow start to the season.

Bah, I have a whole Yuri related post inside of me just waiting to be written.

Also, Yuri, please don't fuck us over. xxxooo.


News links:
Wuest
Grant extends streak in Mooseheads' loss

Palov
Faille nets hat trick, sending Mooseheads to 8th straight loss
Moosehead finalize Cheremetiev trade

__________________________________________
*Stich is worth 1000 puppies, a fountain of youth, 1 of Patrick Roy's pubes, Chris Pronger's soul (rights currently held by Satan) and at least a 2nd round draft pick. He only got shafted because he is a Euro.

A song for the boy?

Edit:
Matthew Wuest confirms the Cheremetiev trade rumours. More later.

Scratching my head

The Mooseheads are supposedly working on a trade with the Gatineau Olympiques in order to acquire 19 year old defenceman Spencer Metcalf. As it currently stands the Moose are full of defensive prospects and I don't know where Metcalf will fit in unless he is pushing Scott McDonald/Ryan Matheson out. I am hoping that the team does not maintain too many players on the roster and allow boys to fester in the press box. Nobody wants to lick a festery defencman.

In order to figure out what was up I went back and looked at Matthew Wuest's roster breakdown

LOCKS (6): Pascal Amyot (19), Alexandre Brunet (20), Garrett Clarke (17), Konrad Abeltshauser (17), Alex MacDonald (18), Jamie Bishop (16).
CLOSE (2): Scott McDonald (19), Trey Lewis (16).
ON THE BUBBLE (2): Ben MacAskill (20), Ryan Matheson (18).
WILDCARDS (3): Stephen Gillard (17), Sawyer Hannay (17), Matthew English (18), x-Luke Duprey (18).

It did not make the situation any clearer to me. According to Metcalf's stats he only has 1 goal and 2 assists in 25 games with the Olympiques as an 18 year old...so we are not getting him for his puck moving skillz. Hmmmm????

Then I looked up his picture and all was clear. The Moose picked him up for his rugged looks, his strong chin and his hockey hair. This is Spencer Metcalf in his Owen Sound Attack days. In two years and 29 games with the Attack he had 2 assists and far fewer penalty minutes than with the Olympiques. He apparently perfected his penalty game while playing with the Georgetown Raiders of the OPJHL.

Wuest also mentions aquiring goaltender Anthony Kimlin and forward Jordan Costello in the trade, and this also leaves me confused.

Kimlin is an OHL free agent who was invited to Mooseheads training camp (I wouldn't forget that hair). We knew about him ages ago but why was there never any mention of Gatineau having his rights? Why are we just hearing about it now, and is he actually worth trade materials (boys) and draft picks (younger, more futuristic boys)? Why are we not just borrowing him then making offers of kisses and gifts to Gatineau should he actually make the team?

_______________________________________
Metcalf picture from the OHL website

Pre-draft Brouhaha

There is sooo much news before the draft that I simply can't cover it all. This is why reporters get paid to report, while I am a lowly scientist getting barely paid to poke insect brains. That being said, I am posting a bunch of links for those who think it is relevant. I also suggest you pay attention to the frequently updated Q-files RSS feed bar on the right hand side of the page.

Matthew Wuest is going all out, having included Twitter amongst his weapons of choice for this year's draft. It is going crazy over there on his twitter. You should hit it!

For those of you not in the know, the QMJHL does an NHL style draft with tables and GMs running around like crazy. Local cable TV crews are there, interviews are held, a prospects game takes place, young girls in dresses guide drafted boys down an aisle to the stage where they are handed their team Jersey and hat. It is all tres adorable. The boys get to be little be-pimpled stars for a day.

If you are lucky there will be at least one French boy wearing white shoes - preferably a goalie. Then they take the inevitable 1,2,3 photo and it gets plastered all over the internets *sigh*.


As it now stands the Moose have confirmed their one deal - Alexis Piette and a seventh to Lewiston for Garrett Clarke. Oh my eyebrows!

Coach/GM Cam Russell says that no one is untouchable but with the way he has been swooning over Gabriel Desjardins I have a feeling that Desjardins is pretty much untouchable.

Apparently the Moose may be on the hunt for a goalie (bonus boyfriend) for me, someone with a little experience who can push Matty to be the best little goalie that he can be. Maybe they should also look for someone to cut his hair. I would not be terribly disappointed if we didn't pick up a used Q goalie but decided instead to just go with Dumaresque. I am crossing my toes that we do not trade Duma's rights.

If anything exciting and Moosie or goalie related happens I will remember to squee in your general direction.


News links

Nova Scotia teams:
Matthew Wuest:
Mooseheads after a goalie?
Russell on Cheremetiev
Piette a big loss, but still a good move
Piette shipped to lewiston for Blueliner
Weak draft class may pay dividends for Mooseheads
Weekend draft a crucial step for Mooseheads rebuild

Willy Palov:
Moose looking to make picks count
Draft weekend buzzing with activity

TJ Colello:
Adam deal done - Cape Breton get Luke Adam. Newfies do like the Isle! Oh snap, we are toast! It cost them Chouinard. I did oft cooo for Chouinard.
Berry ripe for the picking

NB teams
Scott Briggs: Second year goalie ready to step up
Neil Hodge: QMJHL top prospects presented today

PEI
Charles Reid: Rocket makes early trade

Hold it just one second...

The Mooseheads website banner just changed. I think. How long has it been like this?


Now, look at those fine chaps. I see Jessyko Bernard aka puppy aka Muttley aka some really great eyebrows aka my possible next one true love. I also see Alexis Piette aka Dick Dastardly aka possibly the best eyebrows on the team. To the right I spot that spicy little Gabe Desjardins and feisty Travis Randell. Both are too blonde to determine how awesome their eyebrow actually are but I am pretty sure that Randell has some choice eyebrows.

Clearly they were all chosen for the banner on some sort of eyebrow power scale. But the thing is... if rumours are true and we get Garrett Clarke from the Lewiston Maineiacs we are supposed to hand over, in turn, one of our fancy eyebrowed 19 year old forwards.

We have five 19 year old forwards, listed here by team number and not eyebrow power :
Tomas Knotek
Gerrad Grant
Charles Bety
Alexis Piette
Ned O'Brian

Fine, I admit it. Some of my team *cough* Gerrad *cough* have sub-par eyebrows. Even little Gabe could never be an eyebrow model.

But I digress.

Why would the team put a certain pair of fantastic eyebrows on their banner if they are planning on trading him in a week? Sassafrassarassum Rick Rastardly! Then again it is not like they didn't put Andrew White's *le sigh* visage on the link to the QMJHL live game feeds while simultaneously shopping him around the league. So what do I know?

Oh yeah, I'll tell you what I know. I was the first to introduce the Garrett Clarke trade story but I get no props. When was that? Oh yeah, April 21, 2009. Sucking dick gets you no respect... even if you are only just pretending to be a consummate dick sucker you still aren't given the least bit of respect. All this faux ho fo sho stuff is getting exhausing. What is more exhausing are the stupid people who can't see past the facade and realize that I am just a regular old hockey fan... but with ovaries and titties. Nice titties. Pfff. Yes, I notice when you look.

Did you just say Garrett Clarke?

According to Matthew Wuest, the Mooseheads actually are working on a trade for Lewiston Defenceman Garrett Clarke.

The Halifax Mooseheads appear to be working on a deal to acquire highly-touted defenceman Garrett Clarke.

A source has told Metro Halifax the Mooseheads are close to acquiring Clarke, a 17-year-old who was drafted sixth overall by the Lewiston Maineiacs last summer.

The Mooseheads, desperate for defensive depth, may have to surrender an offensive-minded 19- or 20-year-old forward and a late draft choice to secure Clarke’s services.

Coach / GM Cam Russell has not confirmed a trade attempt but has said:

“If you look at all the strong, competitive, consistent teams, they build from the net out. They have good goaltending and at least four top-notch defencemen, and that’s where we’re trying to improve our hockey team.”

UPDATE: For more (confusing) info see the Maine Hockey Journal.

_______________________________________________

I should spend more time paying attention my Moose as a whole instead of obsessing over a single Moose's abnormal body proportions. Doesn't Yetman's head look smaller than this thighs? What size brain does that tiny cranium hold?

He chose this book for reading to children because he was attempting to show them what a normal sized head to body proportion is. Ben then had to read it to him. I hope Ben doesn't have to read and explain everything to him.

*image from the Mooseheads website

Check it! Check it!

Are we wearing our Steve Mason (TM) jammies? Excellent. Let me tell you a little bedtime story.

Once upon a time I was checking out the search words on my site meter when I discovered the search "Garrett Clarke traded to Halifax". I thought to myself could it possibly be true? Is Cam working on a big trade with Lewiston for their first pick in last year's draft?

The next day in the newspaper Cam said that:

nothing has been done yet but feels like he’s getting close on one trade that could see him acquire a good young player in exchange for some of his veteran talent.

I was fascinated by the possibilities. Even my commenters were suggesting that it was indeed true. Someone else told me in traditional purple monkey dishwasher fashion that Clarke was not very happy in Lewiston. What, oh what, was poor little Clarke to do? ...and what of these Moose I keep hearing about? Will they ever meet?

Then along came Nathan Fournier, blogger for the World of Junior Hockey and MAINEiacs Post to Post, with his boy power and frequent access to Lewiston Sports journalist Justin Pelletier's live blog at the sun journal. Nathan gave this girl who so truly believed in 'the power of Moose' a key to decipher Pelletier's words (or maybe just told her it was there - semantics).

7:19	Justin: Some Lewiston Maineiacs news popping into the paper this week, with the completion of the front-office reorganization plan. In addition, the team and coach/president Don MacAdam has confirmed there will be movement in the trade department before this year's draft...

7:20	Justin: I got one e-mail this week telling me that one of the team's three draft picks from last year's first round may be on the move this summer....

One of the three first round draft pics? Hmmm!!!
pick #6 Garrett Clarke
pick #9 Michael Chaput
pick #14 Etienne Brodeur

image from Cites Nouvelles

Well Chaput's dad is the Governor for the Maineiacs, so any trade involving Michael is highly unlikely; and Brodeur is far too little to be a Moose. Cam knows I like my boys big and although Etienne has 10G and 22A in 68 games, and the Moose need some goal scoring, is 5'9" Brodeur really Moose material? He is cute enough!

The Moose did want Clarke last year and we do need defence. Is Clarke our Romeo, our Prince Charming, our Mr Neutron? Will he bring a big spoon or more 12 game suspensions? Most importantly of all- if he comes here will he find happiness and true hockey love in Halifax?


_____________________________
PS. Way to fucking SUCK Washington!!! That's it. We are done! Get your ass out of my bed, get your body out of my house. Don't call me. Don't text me. I am no longer your facebook friend and I've blocked you on MSN. Fuck you!

Cam says

From an article in the Chronicle Herald today:

"Obviously we want kids that can play the game; kids with talent," Russell said. "But they all have to be good quality kids with a good work ethic. That’s the kind of player we want to build this team around."

As part of his hands-on venture into the scouting side of the team’s operations, Russell said he’s planning to shuffle his resources somewhat to target different geographical regions. He said he’s thinking about focusing less on the United States than the team has in the past, while beefing up the team’s presence in Newfoundland and Ontario.

....mmmmm Newfoundland

Russell said he’s also been busy working the phones with other GMs trying to make a few deals. He said nothing has been done yet but feels like he’s getting close on one trade that could see him acquire a good young player in exchange for some of his veteran talent.

"You never know if it’ll come together or not," Russell said. "Let’s just say we’re active. We’re looking to make improvements for the team and we’re open to any suggestions."

rumours and junk and rumours

Remember back in the day when I said every rumour -ish search that comes across my site meter ends up coming true (well I don't know about that 'Roger Kennedy Halifax huge penis' search - but if so, good for him! Who's your Monster now Pierre?)

Well, I just got the following search from an American hockey fan - "garrett clarke traded to halifax". Although I hate unsubstantiated rumours, I am jumping on this before I forget about it and then it maybe possibly comes true.

Last year at the draft Halifax GM Marcel Patenaude tried mixing it up to get a first round pick in hopes of drafting the highly touted defensive prospect Clarke. Clarke had been threatening NCAA only to end up being picked by the Lewiston Maineiacs 6th overall. Maybe he had been offered a mighty financial scholarship in return from Lewiston for reporting (just a guess), and I don't know how they could afford that because Lewiston are dirt poor. Halifax can afford the moolah, and they are likely in the hunt for some more defenceman for next season.

Of course, at this time of year there are no official trades. Everything happens at the draft in June. We will have to wait and see.

Ich bin ein ente

According to TSN:

The Anaheim Ducks made a pair of trades just prior to the NHL's Trade Deadline sending forward Samuel Pahlsson to the Chicago Blackhawks for defenceman James Wisniewski and a draft pick.

The Ducks then shipped forward Travis Moen and defenceman Kent Huskins to the San Jose Sharks for prospect Nick Bonino and goalie Timo Pielmeier and a conditional draft pick.

The KEYWORD here is TIMO PIELMEIER. Timo, goaltender for the Shawinigan Cataractes, signed a three year entry level contract with the Sharks just last summer. This season Pielmeier has a 2.62 GAA and 0.916 save % in 41 games with the second overall ranked Cataractes. This puts him within the top five for both GAA and sv% in the league.

Welcome Andrew Smith

Aren't we supposed to be getting rid of players? Well, we are now back up to 27.

The Mooseheads have just acquired right winger Andrew Smith from the Chicoutimi Sagueneens. He is a whopping 6'5", 200lbs. A newfie, to replace my lost Newfie Chad Earle. I just said that I want all the newfies and so they went out and got me a new one. How kind of them. Patenaude also seems to know that I like my boyfriends big. The bigger the better.

Seventeen year old Andrew (1991, 10, 01) was drafted in the 8th round by the Sags just this summer, and we picked him up for an 8th round pick in 2009.

owwwwwwwwww. He may very well be a reclamation project. In 14 games with the Sags Andrew has 0 points and is a -3. Well, at least he is tall.


*edit - Wuest has an informative new blog post at the Metro which summarizes all of our trade period action. He goes on to elaborate on Smith's current situation and the Moosehead's possible plans for him:

Smith had no points in 14 games with the Sags and is now with the junior A Restigouche Tigres. The Herd has not decided whether to add him to their roster, a decision that will depend upon the seriousness of injuries to Justin Pender (hip) and Guillaume Pelletier (groin).

“Smith was on our radar as a 16-year-old and he didn’t like it in Chicoutimi,” Mooseheads general manager Marcel Patenaude said. “He’s a big boy, and he’s a good skater, so we felt if we were able to bring in a few young 17-year-olds on our protected list like him and (Justin) Belanger, it would be a good thing to solidify our depth.”

The trade post

The Keven move:
Apparently the Sea Dogs did have more to tell me, since yesterday they traded Keven Guérette-Charland, third member of my Sea Dogs Holy Trinity, to the Val d'Or Foreurs for a 3rd round pick in the upcoming draft. Bastards. Don't worry sweet 'Kevie', Francois Gauthier will keep you warm.

The Tomy move:
In a totally smart move, Moncton have picked up 'mah boo' Tomy Joly. This reduces the number of times I get to see Tomy for the remainder of this season from 3 to 1, since we only have one more home game against the Wildcats.

Moncton was the only contender left that had not made any major moves. JOLY is a MAJOR move. They have just acquired that goal scoring they needed. Look-it Saint John (stoopid chumps), he was not even that expensive - one 1991 player and two 2nd round draft picks.

Moncton are now a whole world of hot. I fully expect Tomy Joly and Zach Sill to naked mudwrestle for the job of my #1 'Moncton boyfriend'. Bet'cha didn't know I was cheating with Sill - I totally have been. When I see Sill, I start to drool a bit... just a little, from the corner of my mouth. It is embarrassing.

Yowza!!! It burns my eyes it is so hot.

The Goalie Swap:
The other biggie is the swap of goaltenderie creatures Marco Cousineau and Nathan Dunnett between the Baie Comeau Drakkar and the Drummondville Voltigeurs. Dummondville has said that their acquisition of Cousineau, 2008 third round draft pick of the Anaheim Ducks, will not effect the status of current netminder Antoine Tardif. It may end up being more of a 1A, 1B situation in Drummondville, and they are already bragging that they have the best goaltending tandem in the league.

Here is the deal with these boys:

Antoine Tardif was supposed to be God. A first round draft pick of the Bathurst Titan, he was a projected NHL draft pick until he injured his ankle in January of last year, which is unfortunate because he did not get to play behind a much improved, post X-mas trade period, Titan team (run-on sentence, I know). A mis-diagnosis of his injury left him sidelined for the rest of the season, and in the summer when he underwent arthroscopic surgery.

He was traded at the Q draft (Tardif and Masse were the 'futures' from a X-mas deal made in 2007 between the Volts and the Titan) to Drummondville. Since then Drummondville have gone from being the bottom-feeding worst team in the league to contending for top spot. Some people say their only weakness is in nets.

Statistically:
2008-2009 - 2.81GAA, 0.889 sv%; 31 G, 23 W, 6 L Volts
2007-2008 - 3.52GAA, 0.892 sv%; 34 G 14 W, 15 L Titan
2006-2007 - 3.56GAA, 0.872 sv%; 31 G, 14 W, 13 L Titan

Antoine would have great eyebrows if he would just tidy up the ridge; he has a touch o' unibrow.


Marco Cousineau has had an up and down career in the Q. He was originally drafted by Baie-Comeau in the 12th round, #204th overall in 2006. In 34 games with the Drakkar this season Cousineau has 9 wins and 25 losses, with a 3.67GAA and 0.888 save % (ugh, still better than Mark Yetman). This is in stark contrast to last year's regular season stats when he backstopped a more defensively minded, and (almost) league leading Drakkar with 34 wins and 19 losses in 58 games, to finish with a 2.81GAA and 0.903 save %, the 4th best GAA in the league. Mind you, despite being second best team in the league the Drakkar were upset in the first round of the playoffs by the Oceanic.

Cousineau's play so far this year hearkens back to his first season in the Q, 2006-2007, when the rookie netminder had only 4 wins and 12 losses in 23 games played, for a wretched 4.20 GAA, and 0.863 save % (ugh, still better than Roger Kennedy). Will the real Marco Cousineau please stand up?

Did Anaheim make another brilliant draft choice?...their picks from the Q are all terribly suspect. Anyway, we will not know until we park Cousineau's ass into a net behind another good team and then see how he fares. This is how it works... bad teams can make good goalies look like shit, at least if you are just looking at their stats. You need to actually see a boy play in a variety of situations before you can properly assess his skills. It is the age-old adage: Is it the playa', or the system?


Mo' stuff:
The Oceanic were all after Cousineau's ass but they did not land him. You see, these fools picked up 'the Gouge' at the draft (look at that face hair - it is a cornucopia of douchebaggery), when they could have been going after Bobby Nadeau or Timo Pielmeier, both were, and still are, much more cromulent choices.

Anyway, now that their chance to get Cousineau has fallen through they have their sights set on Bobby Nadeau. MY Bobby Nadeau (you need tweezers boy). Bobby and I like to play eye contact games when he is in Halifax. Actually, I play eye contact games with every goalie (except Yetman, who does not skate around during pauses in the game) because I am a huge goalie-loving skank. (edit* - they did not get him...yet, but 20's can be traded whenever)

Just because I had conceded...

...that Patenaude was correct in drafting Jessyko Bernard, it did not mean I didn't still want Tyler Noseworthy here. Just because my heart is aflutter for Bernard it does not mean it cannot simultaneously be all aflutter for Noseworthy. I am persistent in my weird obsessions. Weird obsession # 576 - Noseworthy in a Mooseheads jersey.

Pictou County Weeks Crushers MJAHL player Tyler Noseworthy has been traded from Moncton to Victoriaville for a 6th round pick.

See? Told ya so!

It is not that I didn't recommend for us to do this... because I totally did - See point #7. Now he will get to play with that cute little Newfie puppy Brandon Hynes. I want all the Newfies for myself.

*edit - Noseworthy will join the tigres this upcoming Friday.

Monday updates: ahhh, there you are.

1) QMJHL offensive and defensive players of the week
Offensive props go to Mikhail Stefanovich of the Quebec Remparts, for 7 goals (2 game winners) and an assist, in three games last week. Chabot (Gatineau), Brown (Moncton) and Adam (Montreal) were also considered.

Defensive props go to ex-boyfriend Guillaume Monast. Ugh - take off that filthy Remparts Jersey, it does not do you justice, sweet Guillaume. Here, let me show you in a Moose jersey... ahhh much better. Guy had 8 assists in three games last week. Nicola Riopel (Moncton - since when is he not nominated?), Charles Lavigne (Quebec) and Alain Goulet (Gatineau) were also rans.


2) Sportsnet Who's Hot/ Who's Not
Hot team: Quebec Remparts
Hot player: Mikhail Stefanovich (Remparts)
Cold Team: Lewiston Maineiacs
Cold Player: Maxim Gougeon

HaHa Gougeon sucks. I know that is mean, but I can't help it. Everyone needs an enemy, and Gougeon is my make-believe enemy. Such meticulously groomed facial hair can only mean one thing - he is evil. A flopping, small, evil, little, net troll.

God luck with your Memorial Cup run, suckas (that is TOTALLY going to came back to bite me in the ass. Never kick a wounded dog.)


3)Trades:
It has happened. Captain Alex has been booted from the Sea Dogs. According to the QMJHL website: The Saint John Sea Dogs traded all-star defenseman Alex Grant (89-01-20) and a fifth round pick in 2010 to the Shawinigan Cataractes for Danick Gauthier (91-10-24), a second round pick in 2009 and a first round selection in 2010.

Sea Dogs GM Jacques Beaulieu said “It was a difficult decision to trade Alex. He has been a major part of the Sea Dogs for a long time and has done a lot for this franchise - both on and off the ice. We’re excited to be adding Danick Gauthier to our roster, and we wish Alex all the best in all of his future endeavours.” ...but with Grant's lackluster 2008-2009 season it seems like the writing was on the wall with this trade for quite some time.

Grant was a QMJHL first overall draft pick, and the Sea Dog's first ever draft selection as a league expansion team in 2005. He was also a fourth round selection of the Pittsburgh Penguins in the 2007 NHL entry draft.

Weird to see Alex go. What are the Sea Dogs without Captain Alex, and will Kirky then get the captaincy?

Also (edit*):
Amyot to Halifax? - hmmmm. FYI, the Moose currently have 9 defencemen (Bona, Pender, MacAskill, O'Connor, MacDonald, McDonald, Dunn, Matheson, and Greer)... Amyot makes 10.
Yep. It's a done deal. Welcome Pascal. The Moose have swapped our 1st round pics in the European draft with the Saint John Sea Dogs, and given up a 4th round QMJHL draft pick in 2010. This means we now have to clear at least three players from our roster.

This is bound to be a running edit- trades are going on like crazy today - Rimouski picked up 19 year old goaltender Matt Dopud from Rouyn-Noranda. Rimouski LOVES tiny goalies. Lookit- Gougeon - 5'8", Dopud -5'9", Perreault - 5'8", and Lacerte at a whopping 5'11".

4) What the hells?:
Gatineau 10, Drummondville 2 - shiiiiiiit

Welcome

While I have lost one young man from my boy-harem over the Christmas holidays, I am pleased to welcome three new boys into the fold: the previously mentioned Guillame Pelletier, and newly acquired Jan Stransky (from the Olympiques) and George Dunn (free agent).

However, the addition of two more means that I have too many boyfriends, and unfortunately I am not the one who gets to pick and chose between them. That is up to Patenaude. A girl should never trust that guy to pick her beau's... his choices are excessively jailbaity.

Matthew Wuest speculates on possible boy-harem re-arrangements that may happen before the trade period closes.

At least one of following three things will happen over the next few weeks. 1) The Mooseheads are going to trade a veteran or two for draft picks; 2) The Mooseheads are going to cut a veteran or two; 3) A veteran or two is going to voluntarily leave the team, seeing the writing on the wall after the holiday break.

As if someone would just up and leave me!!! Why I never!!!

The Moose played the Moncton Wildcats last night and lost by a respectable: 3-2. You can find out more at the QMJHL recap page or the Chronicle Herald.

My newest láska Stransky (wearing MacMillan's #11 - oh my heart is ripped asunder) attempted to charm me with a goal. It is kinda working. Then, today in a game against the Sea Dogs (currently taking place) he gave me another goal. Yeah...it's love.

EDIT-
Stransky got the game winning goal against the Sea Dogs. That is like a sexual proposition, right? This boy moves fast.

EDIT 2-
I found him. He is not as elusive as a bigfoot. Ohhh Dreamy. Apparently he is also a self proclaimed hothead and he likes brunettes. We (royal we) like our boys wild and crazy. Yes, Stransky and I shall get along swimmingly. He is totally marlenka worthy.

I know...hobo!!!

Two day after the game I am finally writing to say that the Mooseheads lost to the Screaming Eagles by a score of 7-3. See. Not much to say about the game except that it started out like hooray and ended up like neigh. For more info check out Matthew Wuest's most recent blog post.

My Say:
Did nobody tell the team that we are supposed to split the season with Cape Breton? Look-it: 2007-2008, 2006-2007, 2005-2006. Now that is officially impossible, the Eagles have won 5 of 8... and yet the very fabric of the universe has not folded in upon itself. Huh, funny that!

Why the fuck was an injured Yetman put in with 13:43 left in the game? The Moose were already down 6-3, it is not like the boys were going to be able to pull it all together and suddenly get three goals in 13 minutes. It is not like Corbeil was going to feel any less shame upon getting pulled. It is not like Yetman is invincible - and it is totally stupid to put him in a situation where he can re-aggravate his groin injury. You have heard of Roberto Luongo, right? Shit happens, and this can only be likened to the coaches plopping Yetman down into the middle of a cow field. I can feel my fists of fury starting to tingle.


Mo' news:

1) There is a Simon Despres article at Sportsnet. I demand that you love my imaginarily adopted Sea Dog child. Love him.

"I don't like to watch the rankings," Després acknowledged. "If you think it's too easy, you're going to stop working hard."

Després certainly doesn't need a lesson in hard work. "A student of the game, he's always trying to make himself better," his coach said.

Proof of that is evident in practice as Després is not only the first one on the ice but often one of the last off it.

"I like fresh ice," he said sheepishly.

2) Trades are on. PEI are making moves, having already traded Neiderer and Malouin. You can keep track of trade shenanigans at the Q website. This should be a happy time of year but it can be a hard time of year for some of these boys, what with the stress of moving, getting used to new teams, new systems, new schools and making new friends. I wish all the boys well in their new homes and success with their new teams.

Another 19 year old forward is just what we needed.

It has just been announced on the evil Titan Website that the Halifax Mooseheads have acquired Radek Vlasanek for a 5th round draft pick in the 2010 draft. This means that we now have a 26 man roster. Who is going to be sent down?

Radek fills the Mooseheads requirement for having at least two Czechs on the roster at any given time, which is more important than ever now that the Columbus Blue jackets are keeping Jakub Voracek and robbing us of all of the delicious draft picks that we could have gotten for him.

Furthermore, it is good because what our team needs is more old guys who will not be playing in the league next year, and even fewer draft picks for the years to come. As it stands now we only have two 16 year olds in the system...and teams who are rebuilding should always do so by filling up their roster with as many 19 year olds as they can get and throwing away draft pics.

Let's check Radek's statbits from last year when he played with the last place Drummondville Voltigeurs, shall we:

22 points and a +/- of -29...and he wins 25 % of his faceoffs. TOTALLY WORTH IT.

He had the second worse plus/minus amongst all of the players from last year's Voltigeurs team. That is just what our seemingly defensively irresponsible team, who has allowed more goals than any other team in the league, needs right now.* He is big, and heavy (read fat: 235lbs) and apparently slow - oh hooray.** WHAT!!! They are giving him 1st line duty. Is this just so that Knotek does not feel lonely?*** Wow Yeti/Mathieu...you got really lucky with this one.

Unfortunately, acquiring Radek still doesn't solve this problem.

_________________________________________________
*edits
**more edits
***even more edits

When rumours come true

The Mooseheads website is reporting that pugilist David Bouchard, who was acquired from the Voltigeurs at Christmas and will be entering his 20 year old season this year, has been traded to his hometown Chicoutimi Sagueneens for a 5th round pick in the 2010 draft.

If you punch him in the face, does he not bleed?

Au revoir glasses wearing fighter guy. I will not miss your 'penalties for existing' and your lack of actual fighting. Wow 24 fights in 2007 while with the Volts, but only 9 after Christmas since coming to Halifax. Why go out and get a fierce fighty guy and not let him fight? That's like putting a pretty boy in front of me and telling me not to touch the pretty pretty. I'm a frustrated girl in her prime, it's just unfair.

The Metro is reporting that of this year's draft prospects only defenceman Andrew Morrison will not be reporting to training camp. Boo. I wanted 3 Andrews. I wanted to change our name to the Halifax Andrews - then I wanted to cuddle the Andrews. It is just my way of getting close to my Whitey.


The NHL.com have put out more prospect reports for The Saint Lewis Blues and the Washington Capitals.

Who's a goalie. Jakie's a goalie. Yes he is. Catch. Good goalie *rubs belly*

Jake Allen -- The Blues made Allen the 34th overall pick in last month's draft. He's heading back to the QMJHL to play his second season. Allen was 9-12 with a 3.14 GAA and .901 save percentage in 30 appearances for St. John's as a rookie last season.

Allen doesn't turn 18 until August so he is still very much a project for the Blues. Look for him to follow the course of playing more minutes in the QMJHL before moving to the ECHL, then the AHL, and perhaps one day to the NHL.

Apparently Brett Gallant, who was recently traded from Saint John to Lewiston is keeping his options open, having received offers from the CHL as well as his home town MJAHL team.


Wow, there is a new Q blog. A Moncton Wildcats blog at that. May I recommend that all they discuss is baby Louis and my unrequited love Tyler Noseworthy. I doubt that is going to happen - it is all kinds of manly serious. Momma I'm scared of the manly serious, I'm just gonna hide behind this big, stretchy goalie. I like goalies. I don't even care if they can't make me happy and give me what I want, or if they run away because I'm a goalie-eating sex-kitten. At best I might get some just-friends spooning - *sigh* oh Bobby Nadeau. I would totally settle for some just-friends spooning while discussing the Martys.

Yep - I love goalies - the Poll is to the right, to the right, all my goalies in a box to the right. Only 5 days left. Vote!