Squirrels, Dogs, Sea Dogs and other such Cougarbaits

The NHL.com has two new full profile articles about Q players, one about former Moosehead (+Moncton, ++Val D'Or) and Boston Bruins prospect Brad Marchand, the other about Fog Devils defenceman TJ Brennan. They remembered to mention that Brad is too daft to listen to his coaches sometimes. For example:

"Ted Nolan coached him with Moncton of Quebec Major Junior Hockey League and reportedly used a few disciplinary benchings to get through to Marchand"

"Brent Sutter benched him a few times in the 2007 World Juniors"

"...coach Cam Russell benched him for the final playoff game, a loss"

...but they forgot to mention that he, like a dog, perspires via panting. That is the only explanation I can come up with for why his tongue is always hanging out of his mouth.

A profile on Rangers prospects does not mention former Moosehead winger Ryan Hillier but does feature former PEI netminder Antoine Lafleur and 2008 draft pick Chris Doyle. There is also a Flyers profile on everybody's favorite squirrel Claude Giroux (Gatineau), Lewy/Quebec defenceman Kevin Marshall, Marc-Andre Bourdon (Huskies) and former Mooseheads goaltender Jeremy Duchesne:

"The Flyers' fourth-round pick in 2005 (No. 119) started his professional career with the Dayton Bombers of the ECHL last season, where he went 13-13-5 with a 2.97 GAA, 10th among the league's rookies, in 31 games.

He made two late appearances for the Phantoms, winning his only start.

At 6-foot and 201 pounds, Duchesne has good size but needs to work on his positioning and efficiency of movement. As one of the few goaltending prospects in the club's pipeline, he'll likely get a shot at winning a full-time spot in the AHL next season."

In current Q-news:
The Sea Dogs have traded 20 year old enforcer Brett Gallant to Lewiston for a draft pick in the 2009 draft. This solidifies the Sea Dogs 20 year old roster spots as Liske, Sparling and Gauthier (hot, hot, short but still totally hot... hot is a default state for my secret lovers - the Sea Dogs). You can read more about Brett's trade at the Telegraph Journal (for a Sea Dogs perspective) or at the Asylum (Lewiston Perspective). Don't cry Sea Dogs fans. You need experienced goal scorers not sweet and pleasant enforcers.

Speaking of Enforcers - the Q has handed down its recommendations on dealing with violence in the league. Fights are not banned. Whew.

Groulx has left the Gatineau Olympiques for the AHL. If cuddly squirrel Claude Giroux was leaving me behind I would get outta dodge too. Former assistant coach Mario Richter will be taking over.

The Wildcats have signed a giant - 6'8". I think I am in love. They had better not forget about my unrequited love Tyler Noseworthy. I want to see Noseworthy in a cats uniform this season. They have also signed on some other free agents for tryouts.

Huskies goaltender Mathieu Leclair will not be reporting to training camp. 18 year old Leclair was pretty much assured to be the Huskies starter this season but decided to concentrate on his studies instead.

Elsewhere in the Cougarbait Hockey League:
Someone needs to tell Stefan Legein that if he gives up the hockey it means he is giving up the hos. My sweet little cheshire cat can do whatever he wishes and whatever will make him happy but I'm just saying "Won't somebody please think of the puckbunnies?"

A quickie

Hockey Canada has posted the results of the latest scrimmage from the men's under 18 training camp. The game was tied 2:2. Screaming Eagles netminder Olivier Roy (team White) made a boo boo that allowed for the first goal of the game and Maxime Clermont (Gatineau) allowed both goals against team Red, one of which was scored by Matt Brown (Moncton).


Nathan over at the Asylum had a lot of Q links that need following up on, so I suggest you just go check out his mad house.

One thing I must link to however is a hockey news article about Maxime Sauve (Val d'Or). Maxime is endowed with one of my highest honours by being dubbed 'les Sourcils' but he is also a source of frustration for me, and not only because of our past...for I am sure that as a member of an opposing team, he will continue to frustrate me for years to come. For you see, my team could have had 'les Sourcils' were it not for a desperate grab to get 'the hometown hero' for all of 4 months. We gave in and partook in a three way, and like all three ways, we came out of it feeling a bit huseliused.

For those who do not know (everybody who follows the Q knows...and they point and laugh), during the Christmas trade period the Mooseheads traded our MIA 2007 first round draft pick David Gilbert (age 16) and a couple of future draft picks to Quebec for Maxime Sauve (age 17) . Then we turned around and traded Maxime Sauve and a couple more futures (including first rounders) to Val D'Or for Brad Marchand (age 19).

The logic behind this fuck-fest was that Brad Marchand is a 'proven winner'. He won a President's cup in his rookie season with Moncton, he got to the QMJHL finals with Val D'Or, and he was a member of 2 gold medal winning Canadian IIHF under 20 teams. Also, being a hometown boy, he would put butts in the seats...and put butts in the seats he did.

However, it turns out that Brad (26GP, 10G, 19A = 1.115 PPG ) was barely more productive in the second half of the season than Maxime Sauve (32GP, 14G, 19A = 1.031 PPG) who was playing on a far weaker team. It was excessively frustrating to watch him play goal-less game after goal-less game. He was all moves, no finish; all dazzle, no razzle; all fuckidy-fuck, no orgasm. Furthermore, Brad's tenure with the Mooseheads was frought with the rumor that he was disruptive, had an attitude problem, and induced a schism in the locker room.

We (sadly) will never know what takes place in hockey locker rooms (naked towel fights?). What we do know is that the Mooseheads played like poo for most of their second half and ultimately crashed and burned in the playoff semi-finals, getting swept by the Gatineau Olympiques following two heartbreaking OT losses at home and two complete ass whoopins on the road...and in his very last ever game as a QMJHL player Marchand was benched.

Only time will tell how these boys compare, but since both Sauve and Marchand will be tested at the same Big Club - the Boston Bruins, it will make for about as fair a comparison as one could make. Their fate is in the hands of Chiarelli. But what I am really pissed off about is the eyebrows.

We traded Sauve (left) for Marchand (right). Un-fucking believable.

Dearest Zdeno, you can contact me at...

Boston and Halifax are so up in a tree it is not even funny. We let them borrow Haligonians, BFFs and Mooseheads players Brad Marchand and Andrew Bodnarchuk. Also, for more than 30 years the people of Nova Scotia have been donating a giant ever green tree to the city of Boston, just to thank them for their assistance following the 1917 Halifax explosion. For what purpose do they use that tree? This is the tree that we all 'get up in' for the sole purpose of making kissy faces.

In the fall of each year Boston gives something in return, usually they send their finest studs to play some quality pre-season hockey in our lowly NHL deprived city.

As a child I was enamoured with all things Boston...because I had a speech impediment that made me sound like I was from Boston. I would say things like cAr, bAr, and I also had a problem with making the 'th' sound. I had to attend a special speech class, as did the boy who was my very first school crush. That boy grew up to play for the Mooseheads and the Voltigeurs, and now I am in love with all Mooseheads - kawinkidink! - nein doch! But I digress.

Because everybody said I sounded like I was from Boston, I loved all things Boston and thus as a child the Bruins were my favorite hockey team. Don't even try to discern the logic of a child.

Now I am one of those evil creatures that likes lots of teams for various different reasons. I like Boston (again) because I love Zdeno, and there is lateral transfer of my tingly feelings from Big Z to his Boston Jersey. I, like many people, think that trading Big Z was the dumbest move Ottawa ever made. Ottawa broke my heart (which did not even belong to them) but I still watch them ALOT because, being from the east coast of Canada, Sportsnet pumps us the Ottawa feeds like young men pump their boners, thinking that this is the team we should care about (WRONG). We are just lucky that Ottawa plays Montreal and Boston a lot.

Anywho, what does it all mean? It means that Zdeno, Milan Lucic and the rest of the boys in yellow will be in Halifax playing not only Montreal (yum yum) but also Detroit this pre-season. To top it off the Bruins have also decided that they will be having their training camp here.

According to an article by Monty Mosher in today's issue of the Chronicle Herald:

The Boston Bruins are coming to metro in September and they are bringing their suitcases.

Boston head coach Claude Julien made an appearance in Halifax on Wednesday to announce the Bruins will hold five days of training camp, which will be open to the public, at Cole Harbour Place and Halifax Metro Centre surrounding a pair of exhibition games in Halifax.

There will be two practices on Sept. 23 (10 a.m. and 11:15 a.m.) and Sept. 24 (11 a.m. and 1 p.m.) at Cole Harbour Place.

There will be two practices at Metro Centre on Sept. 25 (10 a.m. and 11:15 a.m.) prior to a game against the reigning Stanley Cup-champion Detroit Red Wings. There will be two more skates at 10 a.m. and 11:15 at Metro Centre the following morning before departure.

...There will be a lot of local content to display during camp with ex-Halifax Mooseheads Brad Marchand and Andrew Bodnarchuk of Hammonds Plains trying to make an impression.

"They were in Boston a couple of weeks ago at our development camp and both of them looked good," said Julien. "Bodnarchuk is a very mobile defenceman, a very good skater and moves the puck well and he’s a young player who will definitely get an opportunity to showcase himself."

Marchand’s time with the Mooseheads ended poorly and his talents became secondary to a lack of discipline. But Julien said he was all business at camp.

"He focused on just playing hockey and he went out and did his job. He’s a pretty good agitator, he doesn’t back down from anything and he scored some goals in the scrimmages. So both guys I think are going to have a really good look."

There is more to read here at the Halifax Metro.

So that is the deal. I will be starting my hockey season in Germany, where I will likely catch Jason King's first game with the Adler-Mannheim Eagles in Düsseldorf, but I should be home by the 15th of September. My German friend C.B. and I have it all planned out as long as we can get his wife (and Mooseheads' lover C.G.) to agree with our hockey shenanigans road trip from Mannheim to the rival town of Düsseldorf.

Yes, we spread Moosemania all over Germany. There are scientists in Wurzburg with Mooseheads mousepads, I will be bringing C.B. the Mooseheads jersey he requested, and C.G. has become the secret lover of Steve Lund, Colby Pridham, PJ Corsi and Mark Yetman. CG's special hockey trick was cursing at Denis Reul (who should also be here with Boston) in German whenever Lewiston came to town.

However, come training camp time the Bruins will be here, I will be here, and I can guarantee that when I am not slobbering all over Carey Price (because he should be here as well), I will be thinking about some Bruins - namely BigZ and Milan Lucic. I have one thing to say to these fellows - my e-mail address is in the sidebar on the right!

This counts as Mooseheads news

In the third part of their series on NHL team prospects, NHL.com is reviewing the Boston Bruins. Both Halifax Mooseheads' defenceman Andrew Bodnarchuk and centreman Brad Marchand (formerly with Moncton and Val d'Or) have signed NHL entry contracts with the Bruins this past season.

Here is what the prospects report had to say about these Halifax natives, BFFs and short little men.

Brad Marchand -- Win. Win. Win. All this little, dynamic center from the Halifax suburbs does is win. City championship. Provincial championship. Two World Junior Championships. A Quebec league championship and a run at the Memorial Cup with Moncton. Leading playoff scorer for Val D'Or. A trip to the QMJHL semifinals with Halifax.

In the title game against Sweden in the 2008 World Juniors, Marchand scored just over a minute into the game and then assisted on Claude Giroux's second goal. Canada won 3-2 in overtime.

Marchand, selected by Boston in the third round (No. 71) in 2006, grew up with Providence defenseman Andrew Bodnarchuk. He also played with Martins Karsums on that winning Moncton team, along with 6-foot-2, 222-pound defenseman Matt Marquardt, acquired in May from Columbus for defenseman Jonathan Sigalet.

"Marchand is a competitive kid," Sweeney said. "He's not the biggest guy in the world and nobody can tell him anything but what he believes. He's feisty, he competes and he puts up numbers everywhere he has gone.

"Brad bounced around between teams and played an awful lot of hockey last year. He was in the Canada-Russia series and the World Juniors and he got traded from Val d'Or to Halifax. I think he will benefit from a stable environment in Providence with Scott Gordon and Rob Murray. He just needs to continue the maturation process. I think hearing the same voice all year will be a grounding thing for him.”


Andrew Bodnarchuk -- Bodnarchuk moved to Halifax from Winnipeg and played minor hockey with Bruins' prospect Brad Marchand. After winning the provincial midget title, he attended St. Paul's Prep in New Hampshire to retain his NCAA eligibility. But he returned to Halifax to play three seasons for the Mooseheads. He was the Bruins' fifth-round pick (No. 128) in 2006 after making the QMJHL All-Rookie Team. Bodnarchuk had 16 goals and 57 points the next season and slipped to 10 goals and 43 points on a weaker team in 2007-08.

"I saw him a couple of years ago at St. Paul's, where I went for a year before Harvard," Sweeney said. "His coach called me and asked me to look him. Andrew was thinking about going back to Canada to play juniors, which he did. He's a small defenseman, really competitive and he has good agility. He's going to need strength, as all smaller players do.

"He came to training camp two years ago and played a little with Providence, prior to signing. Andrew was disappointed this past season because the Halifax Mooseheads had a pretty good team and didn't get the job done in the Memorial Cup run. He's ready to move on and challenge himself to progress. He's looking forward to the AHL challenge this season and continuing on his path to the NHL."


I would love to throw my opinion in there but it would be all worlds of bitchy. May I just point out the following line re Bodnarchuk:
"Bodnarchuk had 16 goals and 57 points the next season and slipped to 10 goals and 43 points on a weaker team in 2007-08" . 2007 -2008 was last year right? - the year the Mooseheads were predicted to be the superpower team, the team that had everybody in the CHL and Jr hockey media saying "they will take it all".

They said this because we had 2 first round NHL draftees, 2 second round draftees (one of whom was released without contract at the June 1st deadline), 2 third round draftees, and a 5th rounder. That 'weaker' team with 7 NHL drafted players - was technically not a weaker team. It was a team composed of units that thought they were so special that "nobody can tell (them) anything but what (they) believe"; things such as how to play hockey like a team.

Wait...that was a bitchy rant! I couldn't help myself.

I didn't want to see Marchand in a state of undress...

...but I did. I saw it and I can't unsee it. I am going to go put bleach in my eyes now.



Sadly the stupid video does not fit correctly on the screen. I will post more exciting development camp news from the Bruins and the Blue Jackets later - I hope.

Now this is probably going to be one of the most shallow things I have ever said in my life, and it is totally bunny of me, but the Bruins are one hell of an ugly team. My Mooseheads captain is not exactly what you would call a pretty pretty. Apart from Lucic, the team is seriously lacking in the squee department. Some of the guys are not so bad looking, but there are few Bruins that could make you throw your panties at them simply by raising an eyebrow in your general direction. It is not that I don't like Boston, hell, I may actually be in love with Zdeno Chara, but I think they draft for ogres.

Do you see Matt Marquardt and Adam McQuaid? They are prettier than the other boys. Do you know why they are pretty (when Marquardt is not looking like a bully who would steal your ice cream and your lunch money)? It is because Columbus drafted them for their boy band - the 'Columbus Blue Boys'. Sadly, Marquardt could not do a-cappella and McQuaid's dance moves were lackluster at best. They needed to clear space for Filatov (the young one), to back up Legein (the bad boy), Brassard (the boy next door) and Mason (the non-threatening and less attractive fey one). The final member of the 'Columbus Blue Boys' is currently undecided.

I am watching you

Dear little Moose

Today I will be a classy fan. Golf claps for your 3-1 win over Lewy. We're number 1, we're number 1 (for now).

I was on edge in the third hoping for a shutout, but the minute one thinks the words shutout let alone mutters them, the game is cursed. I hated all the penalties - but way to kill off all eight! More golf claps. It was as if y'all wrapped Yetman in a warm blanket, gave him hot cocoa and read to him from "Beyond the Crease" before the game just to keep him calm and focused. Lewy had 37 shots (does the shot-clock guy in Lewy have a happy trigger finger?) and Yeti stopped 36. The MAINEiacs are a tough team but you managed to plough through them. We have one more Wednesday, and I hope to see all 24 of you back in town on Saturday. This means you should all stay away from Denis Reul - I don't want anyone to get eaten.

Yeti/Yetty -

I have built a small addition onto the side of your abominable snow palace. Congrats, we are neighbors now. If you want me to brush your hair I am just over here to your left. If I start to ask "can I smell your hair?", well that is just creepy, and you should find some way to keep me at bay - perhaps poking at me with the sharp splintery ends of broken sticks will work.

If you need to, you could ask P-O for some old sticks - he has been having to keep me at bay since September, and the splintery stick works wonders.

I had hoped we could have champagne to celebrate Tuesday's win, and I had bought some and left it at your snow palace to chill. Bodnarchuk and Voracek dropped by to pick up some pucks so I left them to lock up the place. Just our luck- Bods left the keys in the door and someone snuck in and stole the puck and our champagne. We were supposed to sip champagne and tango like the classy people we are.

As a result, there has been a change of plans. The party has gotten a little bigger, but it remains classy. Guillaume is invited, and Tomas, Yuri, and Jakub are coming over to give us a lesson on how to harness the Eastern-European superpowers in us all. When Tomas had that breakaway, I thought gosh (classy people do not curse), if only there were someone there to get that rebound. Yuri picked up on my thoughts, Tomas turned back time...and they did the breakaway all over again, but this time Yuri was there to get the rebound. Amazing - golf claps. Boys, you should be more careful about using your superpowers during games - you are televised live all over the world with Telus and bad guys may come to harvest your brains. Do you not watch Heros?

Anywho, I have sent Guillaume out to pick up some red wine for us, a shelf for all the stars you have been accumulating, and some more bubble gum for P-O. Cam has implied that we are going to ride you while you are hot, so P-O will just have so sit on the bench exercising his jaw.

Pelletier -

I miss you already. I am having the DTs. We went from 15-16 straight starts, to ~ 150 minutes without you in nets. Can I just smell your hair? Ow, don't poke me with a broken stick - it hurts. Don't take your anger out on me. I see what you are doing there, taping the broken blade of Marchand's skate to your pointy stick. Am I really that bad? It's just a little goalie-obsession that's all. Fine - here is your bubble gum so you can practice blowing bubbles while you ride the pine. Guillaume will tell you about the party later.

I liked Guillaume's goal that he blasted in from way back out yonder. You know that had it been you letting in a goal like that, and not Delmas (or any other goalie in any other town in the East), you would be skewered and roasted alive on a spit in the middle of town. Do you see how fans in every other eastern town coddle their goalies? I am sorry that Halifax is so shitty to you. Now will you stop jabbing at me? As for the Lewy breakaway - I will be checking the comments section of the online newspaper today to see if somehow Dan Smith got blamed for the breakaway and you got blamed for the goal. I don't know why I continue to read this tripe, but I think I am happiest when I know there are idiots to be angry at.

Marchand-

I don't know how a little mousie like you manages to take on a beastie like Reul, but that was feisty. You should avoid going alone into corners with him. I am just glad you did not get eaten. It would be a real shame if Hillier had to return home and hand over a bag of raw bones and some broken skates to your weeping parents. Poor Hillier would have a hard time of it, returning both a broken Bodnarchuk, and a broken Marchand to their parents. May I suggest utilizing the Pender. You were not playing with us before Christmas - so what you do not know is that the Pender can make Reul bleed (even if only by fluke).

Do you like how I am being nice to you lately? It is all the more reason to introduce me to Montreal's littlest starter Carey Price. I just want to smell his hair. Oh no, P-O is trying to get on the phone and tell Carey about the usefulness of splintery sticks as weapons.

Everybody

We are all aware that Jakub has superpowers and as a result we have an immense amount of confidence in him. He is attempting to harness the power of an early 1990's Jagr-do, and when he trims his hair into a mullet the transformation will be complete and his Czech superpowers will be at their peak. However, he is not yet invincible, and the other teams have started to notice this. So, when Jake rushes up ice with the puck, can someone please stay back just a little bit. The puck keeps getting stolen from him and the other teams keep getting a break-away. I have seen this about three or four times in the past couple of games. Bodnarchuk - you are a little bullet, but we can't expect for you to out-race the other guy everytime, and especialy not on days when you are losing blood. That was supposed to be our PP - next time let's not blow it by being overconfident.


_________________________________________________

Point form NHL trade news:

1) Oohhhh Espo to Atlanta. Now he and Sid won't be able to share the Crisco they put in their hair.

2) Booo Hossa and Gill to Pittsburgh, now I will have to hate them - and I don't want to hate them.

3) Huet to Washington - I am shocked and appalled. No, not appalled - shocked and shocked. I know Washington needed a netminder but I always thought they would just farm for one. Carey Price is a sweet little robot but can he handle all the pressure of being a number one in Montreal. Not many guys can walk in at 20 and be a successful franchise starter.
What I do know about Carey is that he is the only guy in the universe who can make the cowboy hat, plaid flannel, and camo vest combination work.

4) Richards and Holmquist to Dallas - I never saw that one coming. Richards had better watch his back, Ribeiro might try to shank him.
Hopefully Smith does well in Tampa Bay. Now that he is in the East he can learn how badly they treat the opponent back-up goalies in Montreal. Not only do they make you sit alone but they make you carry your own stool. Just ask Holmquist.

5) According to Wuest, the loss of Foote and Fedorov indicates a shift towards youth in the Blue Jackets franchise. Will we be losing our Czech superhero next year at the ripe young age of 19?

6) So long Cam Janssen. We did not need my NJ Devils looking like they were the Philadelphia Flyers. We have 'the Clarkson' now and he brings a little more class to the role of tough guy.

Welcome back to Earth

Titan - In your face!!!
WE. HAVE. MORE. CHICKEN. BONE.
I have wished, and wished, and even wished on a chicken bone for this win. It was a big welcome back to earth indeed. Mooseheads defeat the Acadie-Bathurt Titan 6-2.

Yeti/Yetty
My 'fear the Yeti' shirt is in the mail. I want to hug you and kiss you and run away with you to your abominable snow palace. Don't worry P-O, we will just be getting drunk and playing cards.

Whitey
Un-a-fucking-ssisted. Un-fucking-believable. You get a whole box of puppy treats.
.....and you shaved? If so, then here are your human treats as well.

I thought, wha? Paired with Knotek and Cheremetiev? Really? Well...this is going nowhere!!! This is sabotage!!! But apparently it did not matter who you were paired with because - un-a-fucking-ssisted!!! You can join Yeti/Yetty and I at his snow palace for drinks. In the middle of the second I escaped from my shitty seats in 31 O, and settled into section 26. Thank you for waiting until I moved to score that goal. Seeing it in close up made my day. All the girls agree- it was a very shiny goal.

Marchand
There is no thumbs-up emoticon and emoticons are dumb anyway. Sometimes (everytime) when I get shitty seats, I blame you for my getting shitty seats, and if I am not practically licking the glass I consider my seat a shitty seat. Since you have gotten here the Metro Centre has been a much busier place. I figure that for all of my suffering you owe me Carey Price's phone number. Pay up and I will finally start handing out the props you deserve. Until then...

Fine, you did indeed deserve your first star. I have glued some macaronis and sparkles on to it to make it look fancier. Three points in the form of two goals, one assist.... hmmmm.... needs more sparkles.

I sometimes think that if I had to have a short team Canada player on my hometown team, it could be Legein (because he makes me laugh...but he is OHL), or Giroux (because I have already built him his little squirrel house - also covered in sparkles). I guess I just take hometown boys for granted. Thank you for playing like you are supposed to play. Here are your long overdue kisses.

Louis-XVI & Bouchard
Hit, hit, hit. Kill, kill, kill. That goal was the icing on the cake, and the cake was shaped like a slaughtered Titan.

Just in case you do not know what a slaughtered Titan looks like: here is Svoboda pretending to be slaughtered.

More props later
Q-girl