Monday updates: Throw your frilly unmentionables at the UNB VReds.

Ohhhh can I pick 'em or can I pick 'em. Despite losing the UAS men's hockey championships by 2 games to 1 against Saint Mary's University; the UNB Varsity reds were able to bring it all in the CIS finals and defeat the University of Western Ontario Mustangs by a score of 4-2.

Of course I was watching since 'my obsession' was in nets for the Reds. I have been oogling Fullerton for quite some time now. Half of my blog has this weird, eerie, creeped out, stalker-y vibe to it because of him. I can't help it... and now neither can anyone who watched the CIS finals.

One day they are firey pink cheeked QMJHL players (I'm looking at you Clendenning), the next they are calm headed studious University hockey boys

UNB VReds picture from the Daily Gleaner

Once you have seen him you can't unsee him. He gets into your brain and does those little goalie leg flicks at your hippocampus, thus damaging it. He does this until you forget everything you ever knew about the other goalies. Then he travels up to your amygdala and cups it with his trapper so that it feels the love and pokes your cerebellum with his stick to make you feel dizzy. Ahhhhhhh Fullerton.

Apparently he won some sort of prize, because I could hear his name called in the post game melee, but the camera crew were not covering it. They were just tracking Lachlan MacIntosh (who had a hat trick and was named tournament MVP) around the arena. Checking the Daily Gleaner today I discovered that Fullerton was named to the tournament all star team. Rawrs for Fullerton.

Now aren't we all glad that he did not hang up his skates after his disasterous first two regular season games with the VReds? Not bad for a guy who did not even play enough minutes during the regular season to qualify for the league all stars team.

Despite all my cooing and general cougaring (or perhaps puma-ing), one real question has yet to be addressed: To what address do I mail my bra?


edit: Ackkkkk INTERVIEWS INTERVIEWS
edit 2: an older (March 26th) Fullerton related news article in the Telegraph Journal

Where does it hurt?

Today when I was doing much cooing about Travis Fullerton, goaltender for the UNB Varsity Reds, my boyfriend pointed out to me that I am really pushing my luck on this goalie thing. I conceded, shut up, and just watched my hockey with vastly reduced cooing but with the requisite amount of situationally appropriate oohhing and ahhhing. I did not admit it to boyfriend but it still hurt in my ovaries.

Sportsnet has been covering the CIS championship tournament and the UNB Varsity Reds will be going on to play in the finals after having defeated the Lakehead Thunderwolves 3-1, and the U of Alberta Golden Bears by a score of 6-3.

Travis Fullerton was only 26 seconds from a shutout against the Thunderwolves....Doh!!! Fullerton (or Seymour, Clendenning, Gallant etc...) and his UNB VReds will be going on to face the University of Western Ontario Mustangs tomorrow at 2:00 EST. The game will be broadcast on sportsnet

For more information and game recaps check out the CIS championship website. If game recaps are not your thing - there is also a photogallery. mmmmmmmm Fullerton.

PS. Did you know that Desfosses was playing for McGill?...well he is. So much for that IHL thing.

What the Fuckery?

The AUS has announced its all star teams. Let me just list them for you here:

First team all-stars:
G - Kevin Lachance, Moncton (3rd year - Vanier, PQ) - goaltender
D - Scott Hotham, Saint Mary's (4th year - Barrie, ON)
D - Andrew Hotham, Saint Mary's (2nd year - Barrie, ON)
F - Hunter Tremblay, UNB (2nd year - Timmins, ON)
F - Marc Rancourt, Saint Mary's (4th year - Gloucester, ON)
F - Kevin Henderson, UNB (2nd year - Toronto, ON)

Second team all-stars:
G - Danny Battochio, StFX (3rd year - Lively, ON) - goaltender
D - Dustin Friesen, UNB (5th year - Waldheim, SK)
D - Jean-Phillippe Paquet, Moncton (1st year - St-Georges de Beauce, PQ)
F - Pierre-André Bureau, Moncton (4th year - St-Prosper, PQ)
F - Cam Fergus, Saint Mary's (2nd year - Brantford, ON)
F - Justin Donati, UPEI (2nd year - Oakville, ON)

All-rookie team:
G - Kristofer Westblom, Acadia (Meadow Lake, SK) - goaltender
D - Jean-Phillippe Paquet, Moncton (St-Georges de Beauce, PQ)
D - Bretton Stamler, UNB (Edmonton, AB)
F - Jonathan Laberge, Acadia (Ste-foy, PQ)
F - Dean Ouellet, Moncton (Edmunston, NB)
F - Chris Bruton, Acadia (Calgary, AB)

Yeah. I noticed it too. It seems to be missing something. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Where the FUCK is Travis Fullerton? The guy currently leading his team to the AUS championship (FYI UNB defeated St Mary's by a score of 5-1 tonight). The guy with a league leading 3 shutouts in only 13 regular season games played. The guy with a 1.80 GAA/ 0.914 save% for the regular season, and a 1.29 GAA/ 0.940 save % for the playoffs (not including yesterday's game). The guy with stats better than all of these other chumps including the three all stars indicated below in red.

Bitches please!

Furthermore, is there a 14 game limit and Travis played one game too few to be included in the statistical leaders or do we just like fucking with him (yes please). I am pretty sure that players must play in 40% of games to be ranked and that 13 games is > than 40 % of 28 games.

Dear UAS all star team choosing guys
Maybe he is not on the rookie team because he is off somewhere fucking all of your wives. I sincerely hope so because that is what you deserve for leaving him off this list.

___________________________
Also read this article on UNB's goaltending situation. Minutes played has limited Fullerton from being on the AUS stats list.

Fullerton's minutes (665) weren't enough to qualify him for the official stats, but the numbers are telling. His goals against mark of 1.80 including three shutouts is second-best in the entire country, only behind Alberta's Aaron Sorochan who finished with a 1.66 mark in 1049 minutes.

Oh dear lord, second best in the country *fans self*. I have to go buy more underwear for the sole purpose of throwing them in the general direction of Fredericton... or the UNB net this Sunday evening at the Halifax Forum. I have been denied long enough! No really, like since Jan 20, 2008. I totally keep track of these things because I am a fucking psycho... or because I have an amazing memory for stupid details.

I want to tie him to his posts

Ha. Did you honestly think that I have forgotten about Travis Fullerton? You are a fool!

On the Morning of Feb 28th, just a the day before the UNB Varsity reds were to begin their playoff run, their coach Don MacAdam still had not decided who would be the starting goaltender, Fullerton or Yeomans. On March 1st Fullerton got the call and the UNB V-reds have taken down the Acadia Axemen in two contests by a score of 5-2 and 1-0 respectively.

Yep, another shutout for Fullerton, and apparently a pretty nice one. It is soooo cruel that I did not get to see him play this year. It is even crueler that I haven't had a chance to child molest him *sigh*.

David Richie wrote about the game for the Daily Gleaner:

Unfortunately for he and the Axemen, though, was that Fullerton guy standing tall at the other end. The rookie out of Riverview faced only 19 shots, but many were of the dangerous variety, including an attempt by David Lomas with about six minutes to go from a scramble that the Acadia people maintained slipped over the goal line. They pleaded their case to referee Thayer Doyle and the goal judge. Alas, it was not to be.

"I really didn't see where it ended up,'' said Fullerton with a smile. "It was underneath my pad, but honestly, I couldn't tell you if it went in or not.''

So that is that story - dreamy goalie who does good under pressure once again calls upon the devil in help for maintaining his good under pressure status... yet still hasn't called me and said "hey girl, what up? I hear you have a goalie fetish." I can totally be the devil, all he has to do is ask.


In related news the Lewiston MAINEiacs are looking to work out a deal with the Fredericton universities to see if they can move their team to Freddy. A Q team without a home is a sad sad thing.

_______________________________________
The Mooseheads Voyageurs game worn jersey auction has begun. Closing date is March 11 at 5:00 pm . The format of the auction kinda sucks - emailing in your bid... what the hell is that? So in the end when there is a bidding war and the bids are not being updated regularly on the website no one will know the price that jerseys are going for and they could end up with 5 final bids on the same jersey for $300 and people will be pissy.

Did somebody here order a pizza?

Wednesday has come and gone, so while my lazy ass started this blog post yesterday, it is not getting online until today...because life is not all about blogging and cooing at young hockey players.

The CHL has named its top 10 as well as its players of the week....and the Q is totally representing.

The CHL top 10 are:
1. Windsor Spitfires (48-6-0-1)
2. Calgary Hitmen (48-7-3-1)
3. Vancouver Giants (46-5-0-3)
4. Shawinigan Cataractes (42-11-2-0)
5. Drummondville Voltigeurs (43-9-0-3)
6. Quebec Remparts (41-10-0-3)
7. Saskatoon Blades (41-13-3-1)
8. Brampton Battalion (36-14-1-1)
9. Belleville Bulls (35-15-2-2)
10. Brandon Wheat Kings (38-15-3-1)

The CHL pizza delivery boy (bow-chicka-wow-wow) of the week is Drummondville's Yannick Riendeau, while the security guard is Moncton goaltender Nicola Riopel. Why are Riendeau and Riopel dressed up as a pizza delivery boy and security guard, respectively, you ask? Sexy games!!! Oh, don't act like you have never seen one of 'those' movies!

Riopel won three games with one shutout posting a goals-against-average of 0.67 and a save percentage of .975. Riopel started his week on Thursday at home to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies where he made 21 saves in the 6-1 win. His best game of the week was on Saturday when the Wildcats hosted the Chicoutimi Sagueneens. Riopel earned second star of the game honours with his fifth shutout of the season turning aside all 23 shots fired his way. Riopel was sensational to finish the week on Sunday on the road in Saint John where he was recognized as first star of the game for making 33 saves to beat the Sea Dogs 3-1.

Moose Stuffing:
Sometimes you learn the most delightful things from game programs. One of those things being that Matt Boland's proudest hockey acheivement was having once won an Academic player of the month award. That is just too fucking cute. Then he told us his nickname is Goose, I presume because he is from Gander Nfld and not because he swallows his food without chewing. He is trying to make me want to sit in his lap and mess up his fauxhawk. Stop charming me Boland *side eye*. What are you up to? Nothing good I am sure!

Jan Stransky was January's player of the month for his 6 goals and 2 assists (+2) in 7 games played. Alexis Piette was awarded academic player of the month.

Mark Yetman has started wandering around the ice during breaks in play because he suddenly thinks that he is other goalies. Pffff the other goalies look up, silly fool!!! Look up (oh hello!), or don't look up (pout)... all that matters is that we don't do anything that messes with his 'game'. It has been decent lately, and sometimes it gets downright sexy. Do we give credit to the boy or his beastly *rawr* new beard? We call this goaltender February- March Yeti. Yeah... this is the guy everyone fell in love with at the end of last season. Don't get too attached... it is just a spring fling. Moose fans will use him up and spit him out. They are the cruelest to their tender little netminders.


CIS stuffing:
Former Moosehead Colby Pridham has been playing with the Saint Mary's Huskies hockey team this year.... you know, when he is not wandering around the concourse of the Metro centre longing for his glory days as a Moose. There was an article in the Chronicle Herald earlier this week, and it praised all things Colby Pridham.

But it’s Pridham — who has scored six goals and 22 points but skates against the opponent’s top players — whom SMU head coach Trevor Stienburg says is as valuable to his team as anyone.

"The thing about Colby is that he plays well on both sides of the puck," Stienburg said.

"He has some speed and he’s a very versatile player for us. We can put him in a lot of different positions; we can put him on the point during the power play. He’s a good centreman who understands the game well. He can play in any situation and that’s something not a lot of guys can do."

According to Pridham... "The two-way role is my game and I don’t think that’ll change. Playing both ends of the rink is what I do. I’m not the guy who’s going to be the leading scorer. I think it’s important for myself and the team to take care both ends of the rink. We have lots of guys who can put the puck in the net. I’ll just try to keep them out."

In other AUS news, former Saint John Seadog/Lewiston MAINEiacs goaltender Travis Fullerton's shutout run with the UNB Varsity reds lasted a total of 292 minutes and 39 seconds. How orgasmic is that? It came to an end at the hands of StFX's Will Colbert. In 12 games played Fullerton has a 7:3:0:3* record with a 1.78 GAA and a 0.913 Save %. Those stats are too hot for words...let's just bask in them for a quick second * bask*. After a slow start to the season it is always nice to see a goalie pick it up and reaffirm my faith in him. When it comes to my goalie-loves I hate to make mistakes and choose the wrong boy.

On that note may I also point out that Pier-Olivier Pelletier is leading the OUA with a 1.97 GAA and 0.939 save % in 9 games and a 6:1:0:1 record. Waterloo are the 9th ranked team in the CIS.
I mean, sure he has played less games then all of the other goalies, and stats do not tell you everything about a game, but still, you have got to give him props for this season... and you DO have to awknowledge when stats are totally squeeworthy.


In other AUS/ Former Mooseheads news:
Garrett Peters (SMU) has 3 goals and 5 assists for 9 points in 27 games.
Bryce Swan (StFX) has 13 goals and 9 assists for 22 points in 25 games.
Ryan Seymour (UNB) has 3 goals and 2 assists for 5 points in 20 games.

Logan MacMillan (Halifax Mooseheads/ Rimouski Oceanic) has been interviewed for inside the Q.

...and just as a bonus - Peter-James Corsi, who plays for the Charlotte Checkers of the ECHL, has 4 goals and 12 assists for 16 points in 28 games. You wanna know about Hiller too? Check it out yourself you damn hobo. I mean, shouldn't the Ryan Hiller dick sucking committee/local newspapers be covering that stuff? I do the vast majority of my cooing at French boys, Newfies and that delightful new undergrad I work with... he smells good and has the fluffiest hair.

* I am well aware that it doesn't add up.... which is why I fixed it to add the Shootout losses.

I feel funny down there

Ladies of Fredericton, please give Travis Fullerton (former Sea Dogs goaltender) some loving. I can't do it; I am too old and too far away to get my grubby hands on him. You know you love him, yes, you know you do. He is irresistible. But...keep your hands off my goddamn Fullerton Jersey this time - it is mine. Bitch, I will claw your eyes out.

From the daily gleaner:

UNB goaltender Travis Fullerton bumped his personal string of shutout minutes to 254 minutes, 38 seconds and recorded his league-leading third shutout of the season, turning aside 13 shots.

Fullerton shook off the shutout stat as coolly as he did any of the 13 shots the Tommies sent his way this night.

"It's a good individual stat," he shrugged when presented with the number. "Obviously, I'm extremely happy to be playing well. But it's just a stat, it doesn't really mean anything."

Fullerton went long stretches without touching the puck. The Tommies didn't get their first shot until the game was 11 minutes old. It was 12 minutes into the third before Fullerton got to participate.

It doesn't really mean anything? Dude, it means, like, 12 free blowjobs or something. The naughty kind. Clearly you must be able to receive some sort of sexual services for this.

I could lick a goalie

Damn ex-boyfriends. They are doing things in the University game that none of my QMJHL boyfriends are doing lately.

Former Saint John Sea Dogs goaltender Travis Fullerton and his new UNB teammates shut out Acadia 5-0. Fullerton made 23 saves for his second shutout of the season.

According to the Daily Gleaner:

Travis Fullerton and the University of New Brunswick Varsity Reds just keep on rolling.

The freshman goaltender turned in his second straight shutout and extended his string of shutout minutes to 194 minutes, 38 seconds with a 5-0 shutout of the Acadia Axemen in Atlantic University Sport Men's Hockey Conference action in Wolfville, N.S. Friday night.

Fullerton, who blanked the St. Thomas Tommies 8-0 in his last start, hasn't surrendered a goal since the second period of an 8-2 victory over the Dalhousie Tigers on Jan. 10.

Today UNB played Dal - Yeomans was in net, because UNB hates me and they just don't want Fullerton and I to be together; he and his stretchy skills, and me and my skills watching eyes - a match made in goalie peepers heaven.

edit - current stats GAA = 1.65 and sv% = 0.917 with 4 wins, 2 losses.

Oh my loins.... shutout

Don't call it a comeback... but Travis Fullerton has won his past two games with the UNB Varsity Reds. I mean - lookit - a shutout. What kind of reward does he deserve?

Jan 10, 2009     DALHOUSIE    W 8-2    Travis Fullerton
Jan 14, 2009  at St. Thomas   W 8-0    Travis Fullerton

Regarding the shutout:

Fullerton was more than a spectator, mind you. There were lots of good saves among the 29 he registered en route to the first shutout of his AUS career - and the first by the V-Reds this season, incidentally.

"It feels good," said the freshman. "The main thing is, we wanted to get the two points coming out of here. We jumped out to an early lead so I kind of got settled. I just kept trying to do my thing, not worry about the score and keep playing well. And I think I did that."

UNB is back in Halifax to play Dalhousie and SMU at the end of this month. Dreamy. Maybe this time Travis can play, so that I don't have to watch him sit on the bench and yawn, because that is boooooring.

Dear UNB,
Please start Travis in the game against Dalhousie. Also, could you please provide me with a little connect the dots map of those freckles on his neck in order to keep me occupied should he not be playing... my tongue needs exercise.
Q

I have mush for brains...teehee

To make a long story short, The Mooseheads played the uber poopy Chicoutimi Sagueneens last night and lost by a score of 7-1. I hear it was bad. The team completely collapsed after a second period go-ahead goal by Gerrad Grant was disallowed because of a non-called interference penalty (ugh this has hints of an unfortunate Sea Dogs post-season game last year).

The Sags went on to score six more unanswered goals before the herd were taken out back and put out of their misery- Old Yeller style with a shot gun. What do you mean that never happened? So I still have to suffer through more of this for the rest of the season? Crap!!!

According to Willy Palov's article in the Chronicle Herald:

Unfortunately, Mark Yetman had to pay more than anybody else when things unravelled for the Mooseheads. The 20-year-old goaltender actually played a pretty good game but was only put out of his misery with 7:24 left when Russell pulled him after Chicoutimi made it 6-1.

"I left him in because I really felt we could come back in the third period and win the game. It wasn’t Yetman’s fault," Russell said. "But when they scored the sixth goal I thought it was time to get (Mathieu) Corbeil in there. It’s a shame to put a guy in with only seven minutes left but it was just not fair to Mark."

Losing like this on a promotional night, after we have not been able to pull in a decent crowd for the greater part of the season, does not bode well future attendance records.

What does make me proud is my sweet sweet Linden Bahm. I like him more every day. He is slowly spackling the empty space in my heart that was left dead-like and barren upon Andrew White's departure. He is doing it with his defensive prowess and abundant good hits. In a game with seven goals against, Linden was not a minus player, and he was only one of three players to do so (including Louis-XVI and Earle).

For more info check out:
Mooseheads trounced in pink
Game Notes : Sagueneens 7, Mooseheads 1
Lineup: Sagueneens at Mooseheads (note: no Richie Greer)
Sags Pound Pink Mooseheads
*Rik's Pink Jersey Game Pics (Epic fail on the pink jersey - hire someone with a sense of clean design next time please. I love the socks though.)

UNB vs Dalhousie:
Well, actually, I did not have to suffer through that debacle. But the thought of that game tears my heart asunder. I instead suffered through a painfully boring Dalhousie vs UNB game. UNB defeated Dalhousie 5-2. The Daily Gleaner has a review.

Ya know what though. I didn't really watch that game either because Travis Fullerton was not playing. He was sitting, yawning and doing that sexy tugging at his jersey thing he does. I was staring at him, yawning, drooling, taking a couple of totally crappy pictures, giggling with my girls and sipping from a pop bottle half-full of Vodka. What? No, I am neither a stalker nor an alcoholic. I am simply a fun-loving slut (fine I admit it: I talk the talk but cannot walk the walk, it is called mental sluttery).

The score of the game is irrelevant, who had goals and assists is irrelevant, the fact that Fullerton did not play kinda sucks for both of us (really really sucks), but all that really matters is that I once again got to share breathing space with him. I am cool with that.

rawr

What is really weird is that the AUS make the back-up goaltenders wear a skater's helmet despite the fact that they sit on an area of bench behind the glass. They were really trying to protect my Travis's sexy-pretty noggin. I guess I should thank them.

*Sigh* I just want to nibble on him (lies, my mental perversion knows no bounds), preferably after a display of mad puck-stopping skillz. Is that so wrong?

_______________________________________
*edit

Keepin' up with goaltenders

Ryan Mior (Gatineau Olympiques) has signed with the Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs, the CHL affiliate of the Rochester Americans*. Ryan is not currently eligible to play while he waits for immigration approval. OK, that is clear right? He has indeed left the University of Waterloo.

Ondrej Pavelec (Screaming Eagles) had made threats earlier in the season to not report to the Atlanta Thrashers AHL affiliate the Chicago Wolves...but he is indeed back with the Wolves and has played three games so far this season.

The IHL's Port Huron Icehawks have added former Quebec Remparts goaltender Kevin Desfosses, who had recently been released by the Ottawa Senator's ECHL affiliate Elmira Jackals.

AUS Hockey's regular season has begun. Last night PEI faced- off against UNB and Jhase Sniderman was in nets for UPEI. I have no idea how to keep track of this university team stuff. These teams have to update their webpages and their rosters already. Anyway, my imaginary lover Travis Fullerton was in nets for UNB, and unfortunately UNB took a rare loss (in overtime). "We" blame the defense. Why am I writing about this you ask? You know how I LOVE Fullerton - I can't help myself.

* I like to make mistakes when it comes to affiliates

No love lost / Who likes gossip?

So in my regular attempt at Travis Fullerton* internet stalking (real life stalking results in more restraining orders), I went online to facebook and the "Travis Fullerton fan Club" page.

In the discussion board under the header "What are the Saint John Sea Dogs Going to do next year without Travis Fullerton as their goalie?" I see the following post by one Mr Jason Rinzler*:
"I think the sea dogs will be way better off without him. Any other goalie will not just fill the void but surpass it. There will be a more positive vibe in the dressing room and everyone will be happier without him. I predict a championship next year without him."

Me-fuckin'-ow Mr Rinzler. Who is Jason Rinzler you may ask? Jason is a MJAHL player from Moncton who played with the Weeks Crushers and who played with Travis on the Moncton Beavers. Travis is from Riverview, the town across the river from Moncton and he played for the Moncton Beavers before he made the Q, as well as during his 'time-off' between Lewy and Saint John.


Now maybe Fullerton is a disruptive mess in the locker room, I don't know. I like to imagine that he is one horribly sloppy disruptive mess leaving fires, broken relationships and broken girls in his wake *sigh*. He looks like trouble, he may in fact be trouble, I secretly like trouble, hence I like Travis Fullerton. If he wanted to break me I would say go for it.

Sometimes I think naughty things about boys in the Q (usually when someone loses a jersey during a fight), then I feel bad because those boys are too young for me to have such thoughts about them, but it is normally just a momentary lapse of judgement. I have no problem admitting that I am all momentary lapses of judgement when it comes to Fullerton...and I don't feel bad about it either.


Jason Rinzler now plays AUS hockey for the St. Thomas Tommies (in Fredericton NB), Fullerton also plays AUS, but for UNB in Fredericton NB.

On the St Thomas Webpage, where the Tommies introduce Rinzler as a new player, there is a comment from one Rob Taylor:
"Rinzler's a hack but he's got a great mustache ..... Keep the stache thick and he'll score STU some goals ... Unless he runs up against Fullerton otherwise known as Rico than all bets are off even with the stache ..
That is all
Rob Taylor"

MEOW Rob Taylor. Who is Rob Taylor*? I have no idea.
Who knew boys could be so damn catty...and Rinzler rocks a 'stache too. Double damn!!! Are Fully and Rinzler fighting over me? - doubt it since I have never met either boy, but I do love a 'stache battle-royale (even though, since seeing Fully's 'stacheless UNB pic, I realized that I like the look of Fully more without it).

Should I repeat this gossip fest? Why the hell not! They are the ones who put it out on the internets for all to see, and we all know the ladies like gossip.

By the way, how is Travis doing with UNB? - winningly, that is how. Sometimes I stalk the UNB Varsity Reds via the Daily Gleaner.


On October 24th UNB plays Dal. I have the date memorized, which is why I am damn pissed that the Mooseheads chose this day for their Breast Cancer awareness/ Pink Jersey game. The boys will wear pink Jerseys vs the Sags and then the game worn Jerseys can be won in a raffle. I swear-to-god this organization hates me. I WANT A JERSEY...but I will not give up a 'date' with Fullerton for a chance to win one. I like him THAT much.

Having just thought of Travis Fullerton I now have a 'situation' I have to deal with. This is a perfectly normal heterosexual female response to repeated mental stimulation by sexy, stretchy, wiggly, leg-flicking, puck-playing, bad-boy goaltenders. Move along, nothing to see here.


edit - *and they are all facebook friends, imagine that.

damn boy

Yes, this warrants its own post.

AUS hockey has begun its pre-season and some teams have their rosters established and their team photos up. UNB has given me this tiny taste of the object of all of my goalie related lusty desires, Travis Fullerton. Now THAT is a NICE team photo. God damn boy!!! It is like a bite size Travis and therefore it was meant for putting in your mouth. They even have Fully accidentally listed as being only 5 ft tall.

Ohhhhhh Oct24 can't come soon enough.

SeaDogs go to camp too?

Oh indeed sir they do. Round 'em all up for me and I will pet the pretty harbour puppies one by one. The Saint John Sea Dogs have announced their training camp roster. Notable invites include baby Sparling (Evan, brother of Ryan?) and Baby Howes (Andrew, brother of Scott). Last season they also invited Guérette-Charland (Francois, brother of Keven). It is like a NJ Devils of the Jr circuit - brothers galore. If only there were a baby Fullerton to invite.

Oh, I said it I can unsay it - now my brain is stuck on Fullerton. That is its most dangerous setting. Oh dear god FULLY yesyesyes. I type the name and my left ovarie gets all kicky.


Oh hey sexy,
It is good to see that you are still alive, still teaching, and that you got your once yearly hair cut. Did you get your new V-Red pads already? You are rockin' some new black, white and red pads there. The colour blocking is strange. hmmmm. I miss watching you in nets and the weird pains it causes in my girlie bits (the same pains I get when I type your name - in fact, it hurts right now). Summers are too looooooong. October 24th cannot come soon enough. I would give up all of my other goalie boyfriends for you if you asked me to*.

I cannot even begin to express my, ummmm, 'admiration'. If the Sea Dogs need a baby Fully I totally offer the services of my womb. But how would we get the baby in there? Good question. I'm smart, I'll figure it out. It just might take a lot of time and practice but I WILL figure it out. I suspect it would require your participation. Any suggestions?

Also, this moustache fetish thing is killing me. I have started getting all hot and bothered by old pictures of Steve Tambellini. It's not just hockey players either - I totally have a crush on David the mustachioed Sushi waiter from Hamachi house and it's all your fault. I order sushi when I do not want sushi (lies - I always want sushi). I have a shower and get all dressed-up just to pick up take-out. I joke with my boyfriend about his growing a moustache, but I'm kinda not joking even though it would look hideous on him. It has gotten beyond sick.

Someday you are going to wake up and I am going to be straddling you like a succubus, wearing your blocker (they are surprisingly comfy) and caressing your upper lip and chin while having my tongue planted firmly on your neck. Creepy, I know!

It has gotten so bad that my brain has developed a whole new nucleus strictly to repress the corrupt things I get to thinking I might want to do to you. The naughty thoughts are so repressed that even I don't know them. If I actually knew the extent of my own filthiness my brain would self-destruct. So once again I ask - Why haven't you issued a restraining order yet?

*does not include Marty as we are bonded by secret marriage.

I am planning our dates. RAWR.

I did not realize that the AUS schedule was already released (look harder next time dumb ass). Now I must take the time to compare it to the Mooseheads schedule.

Travis Fullerton:
October 24 7:00 at Dalhousie
Moose play the Sags (lucky for Bobby he is no longer a Sag)
November 2 3:30 at St Mary's
Moose play the 'Piques (I will miss my date with Max Chubbycheeks!)
January 24 7:00 at Dalhousie
January 30 7:00 at St Mary's

While my dates with Bobby Nadeau are scheduled for:
Oct 3rd 7:00pm
Dec 30th 7:00pm
Jan 4th 4:00 pm
Feb 26th 7:00pm


Dear Travis,
People like you a lot, and I am one of those people. Did I mention how happy I was that you were going the AUS route? I hated the idea of giving you up ever so much. I think I must still mention you in every second blog post even if the post has nothing to do with you. I am elated (is that the word I am looking for?) that we will continue to have dates next season. I will thoroughly enjoy it even if all you are doing is sitting on the bench. My ovaries are already primed for October 24th.

So Fully, what will I wear? I have a pretty good idea idea what you will be wearing. Red, white and black is soooo sexy on guys. Oh my! Red,white and black -I think you are trying to make this difficult for me, what with the way you are testing my willpower and restraint. For that you deserve a spanking.

But the issue at hand is my wardrobe. Do I wear the titty dress, garters, and the 4 inch heel fuck-me boots? Do I bring the soft ropes? Jeans and a sweater will probably suffice and are the most logical choice for a cold hockey arena. I can still bring the soft ropes!

Truth be told, I am a smart sensible girl who likes the hockey more for the game than the boys (believe it or not). It is just that sometimes.....well.....some boys have that extra special something, that je ne sais quoi, that lure - the kavorka, and I just can't help myself. It is not my fault that I was born with ovaries and that you were born to throw your body all over the crease and wiggle in a funny way that makes my ovaries get all excited.

Oh, there it is! I thought of your cross-crease wiggle and my ovaries 'sploded. That led to me thinking about your strong chin *bite*, your pretty blue eyes, your neck with its line of freckles *lick*, your soft looking lips *mmm*, your jawline *nibble*, your long pretty fingers *oh my*, and your most likely delectable 6'1", slim, well-toned goalie body *sighs*. Is it true, what they say about Scotsmen?

If you will excuse me for a second I have something that I gotta do. It will only take me 10 minutes...maybe 20. Here, enjoy this picture of yourself looking hawt. No wait, I may need that!!!


God Damn!!! This is not healthy. Poor boy - I am sorry that my eyes and ovaries have decided to target you and that I feel the need to violate you with my words, among other things. The centromedial and lateral nuclei of my amygdala must have gotten rewired last season. The low guttural animal noises (it's like a purr/growl combo) start to emanate from my throat the very second I read your name. It is a new reflexive pathway: eyes ---> amygdala ---> straddling response + purr + drool.

Why d'ya have'ta go and make me feel like this? If you don't want this reaction from me you should just be a conservative butterfly goaltender who never plays the puck, and you most definitely should not play like this or this or this. Do you continue to do this to me 'cuz urrr naughty? Yeah, I thought as much *spank*!

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Dates for which I will NOT feel the need to bring ropes, duct tape, a 30 pack of condoms, and two bottles of lube include:

Olivier Roy
Sept 20 7:00 pm
Nov 6 7:00pm
Jan 3rd 7:00pm
Feb 27 7:00pm

The Sea Dogs:
(note - bring cookies for Simon, Kirky and Keven)
Oct 30th 7:00pm
Nov 25 7:00pm
Feb 19 7:00pm
March 13 7:00pm

Timo Pielmeier:
Feb 21 7:00pm

Charles Lavigne:
Jan 23 7:00pm
Feb 22 4:00pm

Shut up Pierre McGuire

I have a number of thing of no real importance to discuss.

1) Shut up Pierre McGuire
In a recent review of players at the Team Canada IIHF under 20 training camp Pierre had this to say about Yann Sauve: "Yann Sauve is a big defenceman with good mobility. What he needs to do is get a lot stronger."

What? Please define stronger. Is Pierre McGuire from Mars where the Martian definition of stronger means something completely different from our Earthican word stronger? That is the first time I have ever heard anyone suggest Yann must be stronger, let alone "a lot stronger". The boy is somewhere between 210 - 215 lbs of pure muscle (weight varies depending upon source). The two words you hear to describe Yann Sauve more than all others are probably big and strong.

Perhaps Pierre was drunk and could only recall his own visage in the mirror that morning and how exceedingly difficult it was to lift that damn razor.


2) Hotties
Yep the Hottie Hockey Dreamy Team is still below the cap and GMs W. A. Curl and I.M.W.G. Guys are still looking to select which centreman and right winger to sign before arbitration. Arbitration can get so damn messy.
So far the team has signed Goalfenceman Carey Price
Defencemen Kris Letang and Mike Komisarek
and Left Winger Zach Parise

You may ask: Dear Q qirl, is that jailbaity enough for you? My answer - it will do nicely.

To make the Hottie Hockey Dreamy Team selection process run even more smoothly the GMs have decided to call in an expert consultant known only as "polldaddy". Polldaddy ensures that you do not need to be a registered member of the NHLBA (NHL bloggers association) to vote. Voting is now anonymous...all you have to do is push a button. Even boys know how to do that!

Wait - none of my boyfriends knew how to do that. I kept showing them but it never quite sunk in.

I think I just realized that boys are stoopid. Stoopid but pretty. I keep them for the pretty but I need one that can push buttons - a tall, well toned, naughty boy with a porn 'stache who doesn't really have to be smart, he just has to be capable of skinner box reward learning. Push button, get treat! That's all I want.

Maybe it's my fault. I keep giving them treats because they are pretty, not because they pushed the button. They will never learn that way.


3) I have a Poll too?
Indeed I do. Look to your right - in the sidebar - then vote. I need a new Q boyfriend, and I have mad passions for goaltenders. Some would even call me a goalie whisperer.

So far Shawinigan netminder Timo Pielmeier is leading, but the Mooseheads potential backup goaltenders are nipping on his heels. I think Dumaresque is quite cookie worthy.


But what of Bobby Nadeau? Even though Bobby occasionally talks to the media, we personally have an all cuddle, no talk policy; which is why we are not discussing this. I look at my poll and I see that my #1 choice is clearly not the will of the people.

Oh, sweet, dreamy, edible Bobby Nadeau *nibbles* - even if you cannot be my #1 I will still want to sit in your lap and smell your fluffy pre-game hair. A girl wants what she wants. Will our relationship ever move beyond the cuddle phase? Do you know how to press buttons? Are you a quick learner?

Your hands were made for touchin' girls not for punchin' boys. I just thought everyone should know that. In fact, I think that most men, if given the choice, would prefer to use their hands for touchin' girls. Why did this have to rear its ugly head again? You have bigger things to think about right now...like stoppin' pucks, getting ready for next season, and our first date of 2008.

I know you are not a big boy - only 6'0" and 170 lbs but I like slim, well toned, guys. I don't like muscley guys with no necks - ewwww. I also like your blue eyes, your long pretty fingers, and your wonky smile - I am huge on wonky smiles (just ask Travis Fullerton). Maybe the people just need to see more pictures of you here and here and here and here and here (in red) . You are exceptionally cute when you are popping into frame. That made me quite happy. My skankspionage skills are unsurpassed.

Did I mention that you had the best GAA in the league for 2007-2008, and the fancy trophy it comes with? I like that too.

I like you and I am glad we threw the whole one date a year policy out the window, because frankly that sucked. You will never learn how to press buttons if you don't get a chance to practice. I just hope that this season our 4 dates do not coincide with my 4 AUS dates with Travis Fullerton. Then I will have two dates in one night. It would be like the standard plot of a poorly written slapstick comedy. Who would get the girl in the end? When it comes to goalies everyone knows how I roll!

With two boys I would hope that the chances of success are doubled. That's 4 eyes, 16 fingers and 4 thumbs. If two boys still can't find the damn button and learn to push it I'm going to quit boys for good...or work my way up to three boys.

Charles Lavigne is so good at the poke check (yes that is at least 3 poke checks in one shootout round)...maybe he can apply those skills to button pushing. hmmmmmmm.

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edit - Also, Bobby wears glasses. I adore boys with glasses.

How the F*** did I miss this?

Travis Fullerton will be suiting up for the UNB Varsity Reds.

Dear Travis
I check the damn Sea Dogs website, as well as all of those stupid NB newspapers every day- looking for any indication that you would be doing something goaltender-y with your life, and yet somehow I missed this news. I should keep a closer eye on the Sea Dogs message boards. Apparently there was a little blurb about you hiding deep within Saturday's the Telegraph Journal Sports Journal.

FREDERICTON - Former Saint John Sea Dogs goaltender Travis Fullarton will attend the University of New Brunswick next season and play for the Varsity Reds hockey team, coach Gardiner MacDougall confirmed Friday. The 20-year-old Riverview native led the Saint John Sea Dogs to the first playoff berth in their three-year history last season, posting a 2.98 goals against average in 46 regular season appearances. He'll battle last season's backup, Derek Yeomans, for work with the reigning Atlantic University Sport champions and Canadian Interuniversity Sport silver medalists.

Ugh, they spelled your name wrong! Who do I have to punch for that injustice?

Oh son, Halifax has two universities in the AUS, and you best be knowing that I am suddenly going to start attending AUS games. We will have soooo many dates next year that it is not funny. I will even be attending games at Saint Mary's University !!! How will you know me, you ask? I will be the one holding a drool bucket under my head.

Remember how I said my panties were getting 'all back up on me' when I hadn't heard anything about you in lo' these past three months. Well they are off! They are gone! They magically just up and left the minute I spotted this news. I passed out, and when I awoke my panties were missing. I went to my dresser to get myself fixed up and all of my other panties were gone as well. There is currently a small parade of re-animated panties making its way up the highway towards Riverview, New Brunswick.

Thank you for maintaining your goaltender-y status. Now I no longer have to call you citizen Fullerton, although I was kinda getting used to that name. Ugh, I think I love you. Should I call off the search for a new boyfriend?

You should hire a body guard!

Obsessively yours,
Q-girl


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edit -
Is it weird that I just dropped an ovary? When I went to inspect the dropped ovary I drooled on it, thus ruining it. I am a mess with joy.
There is another mention of Travis in the Daily Gleaner

"You need two top quality goaltenders to meet the standards and expectations of the program," said MacDougall. "Obviously both are going to play and both have a great pedigree," he said. "Obviously Derek has earned some keep by coming here in his first year, and I thought he was outstanding. But I like Travis Fullerton's background. He's an overachiever. Every team he's played for, he's been told he has to earn the spot, so he's used to being in that position. He's a gamer and a competitor and he's going to make that position better for us. "

Goodbye and Hello Goalie

Fullerton - I currently have my friends dreaming about you. A friend told me this morning that she dreamt she was calling her boyfriend but you answered the phone. She has no idea what you look like. She has never seen you play? Do CG and I discuss hockey so much that it gets into the heads of our other friends? Your season is over, your Q career done -you are now a member of the private domain. If Martin Brodeur is my bottle of wine, and Pelletier is my appletini, then you Sir are my bucket of tequila. I will forever be enthralled by the way you wiggle across the crease. Citizen Fullerton, I must let you go so that you can be a regular boy now.

P-O - You are back on my desktop. It is my only way of spending time with you before your place in my heart, and on my team, gets usurped by another goalie. Ohhhhh why do you have to go? This hurts. Why did I have to give my heart so completely and thoroughly to a goalie I knew would only be here for one season? Why did I give you my heart after one period of play? Oh yeah, that poke check. I am such a sucker for a good poke check. I am not this foolish with my real life romances – but I am so stupid when it comes to my goalie related romances (go-mances). Coo. Are you still sure that I cannot smell your fluffy pre-game hair? I wish I could talk to you just to clear the air on some team related things. However, if I were you I would run far, far away. Halifax was not kind to you…and me, well I am just plain creepy.

Ryan Mior- I am with you and your psychotic eyes all the way baby. Nuts to Gougeon and the smelly old Huskies!

Carey Price/ Martin Biron - Mmmmmmm. Let’s do battles Sirs! After tonight you will have my full attention. Pretty much everybody else will be gone.

Why do I like 20 year old goalies so much? I mean, have you seen Utica Devils aged Martin Brodeur? Even the way he is picking his ear is hot. Why do montages of goalies making save, after save, after save turn me on? Are we sure that repeated pad and toe saves with that little flick, flick, flick of the leg followed by a wiggle across the crease and a flick of the other leg is not a mating dance? Whoever says that it is not is a damn, dirty liar.

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news links:
Mooseheads on the Ropes
It's now or never
Sea Dogs go down in 4 to Huskies


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Jonathan Bernier's AHL post-season is over. The Manchester Monarchs have been swept in the first round by the Providence Bruins.

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 3. Warning – very bad language within.

Sea Dogs
Do we have to talk about this? Do we really? That Sirs was not “playing the trap”! You can’t fool me, I am a NJ Devils fan. Unlike your home town folks I stuck it out. I sat through every last miserable minute of that (while simultaneously watching Washington/Philly). I can’t believe your fans were leaving during the second period. What a bunch of selfish cunts. If I lived in Saint John I would build a little nest amoung the seats in Harbour Station and never leave. I would probably get fat from the food offerings available but maybe I could work it off if you would give me some ice time. I am seriously considering building a little nest at the Metro Centre. I stick around 'till the end, win or lose. I watch the announcement of stars; I clap for the enemy when they are given stars in our barn. I am a good fan. Despite what is happening to you right now, and even though you might not believe it - YOU ARE A GOOD TEAM.

The call back of your second goal was the worst and ended up being a total motivation destroyer for you. The refs just can’t do that. They cannot go back and review a penalty from before the goal occurred. I call bullshit. It is so weird that the same thing happened in Washington except the goal was allowed. Either call the penalty when it happens or let it go. What happened to Washington with the goaltender interference was so much worse than that silly high stick before the goal that was called on your play. Fucking bullshit.

Travis
If it is any consolation, I am an abysmal failure. If I were not, I would be writing my PhD instead of writing this blog. I have forgotten how to write science. Brain freeze happens to the best of us. I hope you have not quit on yourself. Now I actually, really want to hug you in a nurturing way. Allowing 3 goals on 7 shots is hard, and I really feel for you. When I saw the third one slip by you I said “Travis this is not for you, you have to go”. I think you heard me since you just up and skated away from the net. You pulled yourself from the game. You quit. Today is a new day my rough and tumble little goalie. Don’t give up on yourself, you are good enough. I have watched you all year and I believe in you. You brought the team this far. If it were not for you the Sea Dogs would not have been second in the East and definitely would not have made it to the semi-finals of the playoffs. It is a lot of pressure, but right now you have nothing to lose. Forget about the Mayor, forget about the Sea Dogs flag flying over city hall, and forget about the fans. This is just one more hockey game, possibly your last ever QMJHL game. Go out there and play it for you.

P-O
I can’t believe you would take your girlfriend to the Metro Centre. This is where we have our dates. I mean sure I take my boyfriend but he knows about us and he is cool with that. Sir I am offended. Leave now! No wait, stay! No goalie, don’t leave me! No, go! I need my head back and you are a huge distraction! No wait, stay! I want to look at you more. No, go. No, stay. No, wait. I am just going over here to cry.

Boys in the Q- they love you and leave you. I am heartbroken.

If the Moose are going to go down I hope we go down magnificently. I hope you get at least one chance in nets before our playoff run is done and I hope you rock it. I hope you get to continue on in hockey. I hope all the best for you because I have never been more emotionally invested in a little goalie in my whole life.

It smells like the sea today. You are really missing out, the weather here is great. Just thought you might want to know that. Rain was supposed to pour (like my tears) but that is not happening. How is Gatineau? Thundershowers! Overcast, with a 60% POP. That doesn't sound too good for Yeti!

I was happy to see that your girlfriend was not blond. She has perfect porcelain skin and she looks kinda surreal and otherworldly. Somewhat elven like you. Not bad Pier, not bad at all. If you like girls that can sing it is good that you chose her. When I sing, it can only be likened to the sound of clubbing baby seals. Not that I have heard what that sounds like, but I don’t think it would sound pleasant.

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Washington vs Philly:
There are so many turnovers in this series that it is like watching the Mooseheads play the Mooseheads, but with flashier goaltending. I suppose Biron would be Yeti and HueT would be Pelletier.

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News links:

Mooseheads prepare for game 3
Moose staying loose in spite of tough task
Moose will overcome 2-0 deficit
Gatineau stars had the edge

Sea Dogs
Dogs facing elimination

Titan
Taking it to the streets - A Brad Tesink story
Titan handed out Season ending Awards

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 2. Where the hell is Fullerton?

You know what I like – clean cut, clean shaven boys and slick goalies. Combine these two and I melt. So why the hell is Fullerton still turning my crank? He looks like they found a crazy stretchy hobo in Saint John, dressed him up in goalie gear and tossed him into the net. He is also playing like a hobo. I am very disappointed. Then I saw a picture and realized that my crank was still thoroughly turned. When it comes to Fullerton, every logical part of my brain turns to squish, and my brain is mostly logical parts since I am half Vulcan.

The Sea Dogs showed up, got five goals in 25 shots, two on the powerplay (2 of 6), and kept their penalties down to three. Sure they were still bad at faceoffs and still low on hits but they were getting it done in the way the Sea Dogs get it done… somehow and magically. I told the Dogs that if you put the puck on Gougeon he will let them into his net (0.8 save %), but where the hell was Fullerton.

Fully I lust you, but I am taking your picture out of my bra until you find yourself. You are not going to find yourself if you keep your face buried in the ice. Really, 6 goals in 33 shots (0.81 save % - still better than Gougeon). I told you that my goalie assisting love vibes only work for a radius of 500 miles and that your time in Rouyn will be entirely dependant upon your skill, but is your skill that bad…is it all goalie assisting love vibes that keep you going? When you come home you must soak up the love vibes and hold on to them and take them back with you to Rouyn (if you make it back to Rouyn), which means you will have to win at least two of your next three home games. The Sea Dogs could have won had you actually shown up to last night's game. You are at risk of being replaced by Mayer. MAYER. Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh. Suck it up and get back to work bitch. No more losing 7-5.

I am watching Jake Allen on TV as he is playing for Canada in the IIHF under 18 tournament, he kinda scuddles like you. Is this what they teach at you at Alexander Goaltending? It is soooo cute.

Update - We just defeated Finland 2-1 - hooray

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Photos for game two are available at Michel Fortin’s image site

and at the Huskies website for the April 18th game

Mayer got a new helmet

Every Hans Blix wants to get their hands on Travis Fullerton' s weapons.

Yes, yes, everybody loves Travis Fullerton. Read all about his God-like rockingness here. Bow down and worship at the altar of his moustache. Pffff what the hell do you mean - you do not like his moustache? Nuts to you, crazy person!!! I demand that you worship him.

Does Gougeon have good numbers so far this playoffs? Sure, but in a one-on-one goalie battle I would take Fullerton and his sexy-dirty skeezey moustache over Gougeon and his meticulously groomed handle-bar moustache, chinstrap, landingstrip combo anyday. Gougeon is a cornucopia of douchey facial hair and hot, rugged Fullerton now looks hotter and more rugged (picture courtesy of John Morgan and Facebook).


Don't even waste your time telling me to keep my skirt down - it's not going to work. I've been running around all over town - drunk, with my skirt up over my head and screaming his name since playoffs began. Unfortunately, I am in the wrong town and it is damn cold outside.