Blah Blah Blah + goalies

This is my lazy point form list of things you need to know about goalies (+ others):

• Bobby Nadeau (Val d'Or, Chicoutimi, PEI) has an invite to Vancouver Canucks rookie camp. He can probably outplay Raycroft. Dal is sad and has their voodoo doll out just in case. Bobby says something about it being likely that he will be in university *Dal puts down the voodoo doll*.
• Charles Lavigne (Moncton, Quebec) is not getting any love from the pro circuit. He is currently scuttling around Remparts land... just because. He says he would like to go pro but university is still an option. If Charlie needs love I will travel.
  
• Mark Yetman (and the Brock Badgers) will be back in the Maritimes Sept 18-19 (the dates on the link are wrong - think Friday & Saturday instead) as the Badgers take on the the UNB V-reds in Fredericton. Yetman vs Fullerton - no need to say a word. You can visit Yetman and give him one last lick if you are so inclined... and only if you don't mind driving for 5 hours.
  
• Chad Earle is now with the Summerside Western Capitals of the MJAHL. Stay bad Chad.

Now taking Applications*:
When I think of goalies I get all tingly in the shell of my nucleus accumbens. Goalies are my hedonic hot spot. In order to wean off one I need to wean onto another; because quitting cold turkey is just too hard. Look at what I am losing after last season:

Oh don't laugh because I included Yetman in there. He was my Mooseheads goalie after all. Four Candidates for my 2008-2009 # 1 QMJHL boyfriend- Pielmeier, Yetman, Nadeau and Lavigne - all gone. I know you are looking at that picture of Lavigne thinking "wow, I never knew that Lavigne was sooo good looking". You are thinking this because you are a fool. Prior to last season you didn't even notice that he was a good goalie. Grow some DAMN eyes, man.

Mathieu Corbeil is working hard to fulfill my needs and the demands of 'the people' as the Mooseheads #1 goalie for 2009-1210. According to the Mooseheads twitter feed he was one of the fittest guy on the team at this summer's development camp. Now all he needs is a customized bucket and maybe a haircut (PLEASE).

We ladies respond to thigh-high goalie pads the way men respond to thigh-high hooker boots.

What 20's are left for me this year? Ugh Gelli-donuts (never), Raf D'Orso (only if he shaves the chin-strap), Francois Levesque (feels like Chicoutimi's sloppy seconds. PEI - go figure) , Matt Dopud (is little people + may have seen the Gouge naked = trauma). Think dammit, think.

I would rather live in the past. I have had so many goalie 'boyfriends' over the years that I have decided to give a brief review of what some of my more recent exes have been up to since they left the Q.


Stalking Victim #1 - Ryan Mior:
Last season, goaltender Mior split the year between the Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs of the Central Hockey League and the Port Huron Icehawks** of the International Hockey League (as of January 20th). In 15 games with the Mudbugs and 19 games with the Icehawks, Mior recorded GAAs of 2.63 and 1.94 respectively. He also registered an assist in Port Huron.

Mior won the rookie of the week award as well as two goalie of the week awards and subsequently the IHF rookie of the month in Jan 2009 while playing for the IceHawks

He posted a 3-1-0-1 record for the month of January, earning a shutout in his first IHL start. The shutout came on January 24th when he closed the door on 18 shots from Kalamazoo. Mior also earned his second shutout in just three starts on January 30th in Fort Wayne, making a total of 25 saves. He finished the month making 105 saves with a .955 save percentage. The 21-year-old St. John’s, Newfoundland native only allowed five goals against, giving him a 1.23 goals against average for the month.

Mior finished his season with the Icehawks with a .925 sv% and a 1.94 GAA in 15 games. Impressive. At the end of the season Mior remained unprotected by the Hawks and was picked up by Dayton Gems in the IHL expansion draft.

Ryan Mior still totally looks like dirty sex. That is all.

________________________________________________
* I wrote this post in July. I am slow
**Kevin Desfosses (Quebec Remparts) had been playing for the Icehawks but by the end of the season he was with the McGill Redmen. Apparently goalies are slutty and they move around a lot. it is just like how Mior quit U.Waterloo and my one-true-love Pier-Olivier Pelletier took his place. I would never call Pier a slut; he is a delight and he smells like candy necklaces.

Oh My Fucking GOD - Bobby Nadeau is coming to Dalhousie

OMG OMG OMG. Bobby Nadeau is going to be playing for the Dalhousie Tigers next season. He is coming here because he wants to play more eye contact games with me. Yeah, that's it! Either that, or he is coming here because he wants me to TA him in Biology. I wonder if he is more into the natural sciences (ecology) of the fun sciences (molecular biology, development, physiology and neuroscience). I need to know this so that I can decide which course I will need to TA next year. Bobby seems like a "fun sciences" kinda guy.


He has been on my mind lately, for you see, I even had a dream about him last night - totally non-sexual. I was wondering why oh why my dearest Bobby was never on the professional hockey radar - at least not in any serious way. My dream revolved around this concept. My boyfriend suggested that Nadeau fails at looking good enough in the pipes for professional hockey playing status because Bobby has an affity for shitty teams. This appears to be true.

Then I wake up and my dreams have, in a sense, come true. A dreamy goatender right outside my door. A nerdy, glasses-wearing, science-loving, total poindexter goaltender.

According to an article in the Metro:

“I think Bobby Nadeau is the start of the process here,” said Belliveau, who won a national title with the Moncton Aigles Bleus in 1995. “I think he’s the top 20-year-old in the QMJHL. It’s his skill, character and mental toughness.”

Belliveau said Nadeau maintains an A average in courses at the University of Prince Edward Island and wants to pursue a career in dentistry at Dalhousie. He describes Nadeau as “the kind of person we want to associate ourselves with.”

The Tigers are also working on recruiting Cape Breton Screaming Eagles star Robert Slaney, a high-scoring power forward who is interested in pursuing a career in medicine.

Belliveau, who joined the Tigers last season and went 4-23-1, would only say that he has “a lot of lines in the water” and that he hopes Nadeau’s commitment helps.

“It might be a domino effect,” said Belliveau. “He has a lot of friends in the Q who are very, very good hockey players. We might get more recruits through him.”

*GASP* ... and Slaney ---- Robert Slaney "my Eagles boyfriend", oh yeah Tigers you totally need to be tapping into THAT.

Everyone loves a poindexter

Every year teams in the QMJHL select one player from their roster whom they believe to display exemplary academic standards. These are the candidates for the Marcel-Robert Trophy. They are basically saying to me, hey Q, if you were to crush out a boy from this team then I think you should pick:

Acadie-Bathurst Titan – Nicholas Champion
Baie-Comeau Drakkar – Guillaume Goulet
Cape Breton Screaming Eagles – Chris Culligan
Chicoutimi Saguenéens – Dominic Jalbert
Drummondville Voltigeurs – Dany Massé
Gatineau Olympiques – Jean-Philip Chabot
Halifax Mooseheads – Ben MacAskill
Lewiston MAINEiacs – Éric Gélinas
Moncton Wilcats – Nicola Riopel
Montreal Juniors – Philippe Fontaine
P.E.I. Rocket – Bobby Nadeau
Quebec Remparts – Hubert Genest
Rimouski Océanic – Emmanuel Boudreau
Rouyn-Noranda Huskies – Pier-Luc Giguère
Saint John Sea Dogs – Payton Liske
Shawinigan Cataractes – Pierre-Alexandre Vandall
Val-d’Or Foreurs – Jean-François Caron
Victoriaville Tigres – Joël Chouinard

Wow, look at all those goalies...and Ben...again. What a total smarty pants. Wait, where is Slaney? Can you not win the award twice or has he been drinking tar ponds water?

Monday Updates: Goalies are smart

My internet sucked yesterday and as a result I could not watch the game. I hear players were playing...and playing hard. Sydney will bring out the dirt in everyone. Trust. Big props to my boyfriend elect Mathieu Corbeil for holding Cape Breton to a 2-1 lead after the first despite facing a barrage of 25 shots, and not allowing another goal until overtime (on the PK). All in all he faced 49 shots, stopping 46. Bravo young stud.

In addition I recommend that we all lick Charles Bety: he got the only two Mooseheads goals yesterday, he sings pretty, and he is academic player of the month. It is an awesome combo, non? Unfortunately the Eagles won 3-2 in OT. Oh well, the Moose got a point, which is good, but...

...I suspect that Yuri must have slept with some team brass's wife - why else would he be moved from the top line to the 4th line? Also, Gab has to keep his ass out of the penalty box. Why is it so appealing? Does it have a vibrating bench? Porno videos? Does Cape Breton's penalty box contain multiple tiny whores from New Waterford?

Game news links:
Willy Palov - Eagles edge Moose in OT
Matthew Wuest - Corbeil faces barrage in OT loss
Greg MacVicar - Chouinard nets overtime winner against Mooseheads
Cape Breton posts game highlights on You tube.


QMJHL players of the week:
Offensive player of the week is Paul Byron of the Gatineau Olympiques. Byron is so light and airy that an opposing defencemen breathing on him is enough to propel him forward. His speed is not solely his own doing. Byron had 5 goals and 5 assists in 4 games. Damn. Just damn. Is there any point in mentioning the also rans? Nah, I didn't think so, even though Champagne (PEI) did have a 6 point night on Sunday...and he looks like this.

The defensive player of the week is Charles Lavigne of the Quebec Remparts. Pokey Charley had a 1.37 goals-against-average and .957 save percentage in three road-trip wins against Halifax, Saint John, and a shutout over Moncton. Charles has been nominated a few times, so I am glad that he has finally got his prizes. Two other goalies (Olivier Roy and Marco Cousineau) were also in the running, as was defenceman Marco Scandella (Foreurs).


Sportsnet Hot/Not:
Paul Byron and his Gatineau Olympiques are hot
The Chicoutimi Sagueneens and Nathan Dunnett (Baie Comeau) are not

Smart goalies:
Two of the candidates for my 2008-2009 QMJHL boyfriend have received smarty pants awards. There is nothing hotter than a brain. NOTHING. An excellent sense of humour is second, third is... oh shame on me, I simply can't say that here. Bobby Nadeau (PEI), Louis Boileau-Domingue (Moncton), the Titan's ginger goalie Frédéric Piché and Mooseheads own Charles Bety are total poindexters. 3 goalies out of 18 winners - so they do have brains. Oh hey professor! Wanna school me?

The trade post

The Keven move:
Apparently the Sea Dogs did have more to tell me, since yesterday they traded Keven Guérette-Charland, third member of my Sea Dogs Holy Trinity, to the Val d'Or Foreurs for a 3rd round pick in the upcoming draft. Bastards. Don't worry sweet 'Kevie', Francois Gauthier will keep you warm.

The Tomy move:
In a totally smart move, Moncton have picked up 'mah boo' Tomy Joly. This reduces the number of times I get to see Tomy for the remainder of this season from 3 to 1, since we only have one more home game against the Wildcats.

Moncton was the only contender left that had not made any major moves. JOLY is a MAJOR move. They have just acquired that goal scoring they needed. Look-it Saint John (stoopid chumps), he was not even that expensive - one 1991 player and two 2nd round draft picks.

Moncton are now a whole world of hot. I fully expect Tomy Joly and Zach Sill to naked mudwrestle for the job of my #1 'Moncton boyfriend'. Bet'cha didn't know I was cheating with Sill - I totally have been. When I see Sill, I start to drool a bit... just a little, from the corner of my mouth. It is embarrassing.

Yowza!!! It burns my eyes it is so hot.

The Goalie Swap:
The other biggie is the swap of goaltenderie creatures Marco Cousineau and Nathan Dunnett between the Baie Comeau Drakkar and the Drummondville Voltigeurs. Dummondville has said that their acquisition of Cousineau, 2008 third round draft pick of the Anaheim Ducks, will not effect the status of current netminder Antoine Tardif. It may end up being more of a 1A, 1B situation in Drummondville, and they are already bragging that they have the best goaltending tandem in the league.

Here is the deal with these boys:

Antoine Tardif was supposed to be God. A first round draft pick of the Bathurst Titan, he was a projected NHL draft pick until he injured his ankle in January of last year, which is unfortunate because he did not get to play behind a much improved, post X-mas trade period, Titan team (run-on sentence, I know). A mis-diagnosis of his injury left him sidelined for the rest of the season, and in the summer when he underwent arthroscopic surgery.

He was traded at the Q draft (Tardif and Masse were the 'futures' from a X-mas deal made in 2007 between the Volts and the Titan) to Drummondville. Since then Drummondville have gone from being the bottom-feeding worst team in the league to contending for top spot. Some people say their only weakness is in nets.

Statistically:
2008-2009 - 2.81GAA, 0.889 sv%; 31 G, 23 W, 6 L Volts
2007-2008 - 3.52GAA, 0.892 sv%; 34 G 14 W, 15 L Titan
2006-2007 - 3.56GAA, 0.872 sv%; 31 G, 14 W, 13 L Titan

Antoine would have great eyebrows if he would just tidy up the ridge; he has a touch o' unibrow.


Marco Cousineau has had an up and down career in the Q. He was originally drafted by Baie-Comeau in the 12th round, #204th overall in 2006. In 34 games with the Drakkar this season Cousineau has 9 wins and 25 losses, with a 3.67GAA and 0.888 save % (ugh, still better than Mark Yetman). This is in stark contrast to last year's regular season stats when he backstopped a more defensively minded, and (almost) league leading Drakkar with 34 wins and 19 losses in 58 games, to finish with a 2.81GAA and 0.903 save %, the 4th best GAA in the league. Mind you, despite being second best team in the league the Drakkar were upset in the first round of the playoffs by the Oceanic.

Cousineau's play so far this year hearkens back to his first season in the Q, 2006-2007, when the rookie netminder had only 4 wins and 12 losses in 23 games played, for a wretched 4.20 GAA, and 0.863 save % (ugh, still better than Roger Kennedy). Will the real Marco Cousineau please stand up?

Did Anaheim make another brilliant draft choice?...their picks from the Q are all terribly suspect. Anyway, we will not know until we park Cousineau's ass into a net behind another good team and then see how he fares. This is how it works... bad teams can make good goalies look like shit, at least if you are just looking at their stats. You need to actually see a boy play in a variety of situations before you can properly assess his skills. It is the age-old adage: Is it the playa', or the system?


Mo' stuff:
The Oceanic were all after Cousineau's ass but they did not land him. You see, these fools picked up 'the Gouge' at the draft (look at that face hair - it is a cornucopia of douchebaggery), when they could have been going after Bobby Nadeau or Timo Pielmeier, both were, and still are, much more cromulent choices.

Anyway, now that their chance to get Cousineau has fallen through they have their sights set on Bobby Nadeau. MY Bobby Nadeau (you need tweezers boy). Bobby and I like to play eye contact games when he is in Halifax. Actually, I play eye contact games with every goalie (except Yetman, who does not skate around during pauses in the game) because I am a huge goalie-loving skank. (edit* - they did not get him...yet, but 20's can be traded whenever)

Monday updates: Riopel and Owls

The QMJHL has announced its players of the week:
The offensive player is Dany Massé of the Drummondville Voltigeurs, who put up 4 goals and 5 assists in four road games this week. Also rans include Paul Byron (Gatineau), Maxime Legault (Shawinigan) and Jean-Philip Chabot (Gatineau).


Once again the defensive player of the week is Moncton Wildcats goaltender Nicola Riopel. This is Nicola's third win.

In two wins over the Screaming Eagles and the Océanic, he maintained a 1.00 goals-against-average and .966 save percentage. Riopel leads all QMJHL goaltenders in wins with 21. The Wildcats sit in first place in the Atlantic division standings and have registered at least one point in eight of their last ten contests.

Maxime Clermont (Gatineau), Simon Lacroix (Shawinigan) and Marc-Antoine Desnoyers (Drummondville) were also nominated.


As for the Sportsnet CHL Who's hot/Who's not list:
Hot Team: Drummondville Voltigeurs
Hot Player: Dany Massé (Drummondville Voltigeurs)
Cold Team: PEI Rocket
Cold Player: Marco Cousineau (Baie-Comeau Drakkar)

Speaking of a cold PEI team, let's hope the stay cold. The Moose take on the PEI Rocket in Charlottetown this coming Wednesday. In two previous contests the Rocket have defeated the Mooseheads 5-2 and 7-2. Sad hey? There is one team the Rocket can pound, and that team appears to be the Mooseheads. Both teams have played 33 games but the Rocket currently sit 6 points up on the Moose for 5th place in the Atlantic division. PEI have an 11,16, 2 and 4 record. The Moose have one less win with a 10, 21, 1, and 1 record.

PEI's strength lies in the power of their goaltending saviour Bobby Nadeau. Despite the team sitting 14th place in the league, dreamy edible Bobby Nadeau sits 6th in the league in save %, with a 0.913, as well as having a respectable 3.03 GAA (hey it's the Q, don't judge you defensively minded WHL folk). mmmmmmmmmmm Bobby Nadeau.

I don't know what a "Moose light Star" is but I do know that Nadeau has 27 of them. Classy. These Stars appear to be named after a light version of my hockey team, the Mooseheads.

Conclusion - Bobby should be playing for me. Dearest Bobby, put on your glasses, your 27 star-points, your Q defensive player of the week award for Oct 27th to Nov 2nd, your 2007-2008 Jacques-Plante Trophy, and that Academic Award from last year and meet me behind the bookcases in the University Library for a make-out session.


I hope Bobby is not the jealous type because now he will have to share me with my new adopted WHL goalie, Drew Owsley of the Tri-City Americans. He is tiny and adorable. He stops pucks. Life must be hard when you are one of three goalies on a team where Chet Pickard gets to be 'the man' on most nights. Thusly, my little Owl needs more love. I must thank "Dave Schultz" for letting me borrow her baby goalie and for this loverly picture.

Monday updates: My could have been boyfriend

PEI Rocket goaltender Bobby Nadeau is the QMJHL defensive player of the week. mmmmmmm Bobby Nadeau - the wonky smile just kills me *drool*. According to the QMJHL website:

The goaltender enabled the Rocket to collect five out of a possible six points in the standings thanks to two wins and a shootout loss. He allowed only six goals despite facing 112 shots, posting a 1.95 goals-against-average and .949 save percentage. P.E.I. has been playing solid hockey for the past few weeks and sits in fourth place in the Atlantic division standings.

Dearest Bobby you look great...moreso after I fixed your eyebrows with photoshop. You should get on that with an actual pair of tweezers.

The Offensive Player of the week was Phillipe Paradis of the Chicoutimi Sagueneens. Danick Paquette (Lewiston), Mikhail Stefanovich(Quebec) and Chris Doyle (PEI) were also nominated. Paquette had his first hat trick of the season against Bathurst this past Saturday Nov 1st.


Hot/Not:
Hot team: Shawinigan Cataractes
Hot Player: Danick Paquette (Lewiston)
Cold Team: Gatineau Olympiques
Cold Player: Michael Stinziani (Cape Breton)

I'd like to buy a goalie coach, Pat.

Blink blink. Blink. Blink. Blink blink. Wha? Oh sorry. Was there a game tonight? That would explain why I got to give Bobby Nadeau a stare down for the past 2.5 hours.

Why don’t I stare down my goalies? Do the Moose have goalies? Oh Yeah Mathieu. He is sooo big. He is the cute little, big thing that let a few slip by him but I cannot say that they were horrible goals. Baby is just a baby. He will get better (when he moves to a different team and is no longer coached by Pat Dallaire). At least he didn’t get the loss. My little, big, baby boyfriend is not a loser like that.

Holy big, baby goalie.

Who lost the game? I think I recall some 'two-bagger' flopping around by the side of the net, deflecting a high shot into the net with his own goddamn blocker, reacting too soon for a glove side shot, and just sitting around on his knees. He allowed 4 goals on 11 shots (5 dangerous shots). What is that guy's name again? Damn I forget!!! I hate when I forget a goalie's name. Damn near kills me. Whoever he is, he is not even invited into the house tonight! That hobo can sleep outside in a cardboard box.*

Ya know what the great thing about 20 year old players is - you can trade them or dump them at any time during the year.

There is however another solution. Can we fucking FIRE DALLAIRE ALREADY?

…or while we are at it can we bring in Dumaresque. He is quite coo-liebe. He is 1000 puppies in a basket of kitten skins. What team couldn’t use 1000 puppies on the ice to distract their opponents? Oh right he would need a good goalie coach! Forget it! Dallaire would just break him too!

Oh well. At least PEI can defeat someone. Yes they whopped us 7-2. Good for them. They did not look like the half-assed ball-lickers we played in the first half of last Fridays game, they were more machine than man. Oh no wait! Maybe the problem was that the Moose were more petit enfant than man. Yeah, that is it. The falling down, the fanning on shots. Sometimes I wished Nadeau would just come over and poke my eyes out with the blunt end of his stick – but then I remembered that if I were blind I would not be able to see him. That would be a damn shame.

I am glad I peeped you Mr Nadeau. You play pretty.

Notes:

PEI

• Olssen is soo teeny tiny, like Brian Gionta sized. No literally Brian Gionta sized. He is 5’7”. It is like watching timbits hockey with him out there.
• Tousingant was balls to the fucking wall.
• I remember why I fell in love with Bobby Nadeau.
• No don’t skate into Bobby’s fancy boy bits. Owwwwwwww. He needs those for being “a lover not a fighter”. Also I came to this game to watch him, not Evan Mosher. It was good because he came out of it with a 0.926 save% on 27 shots. Ya know what I like about sweet, edible, Bobby Nadeau? When the puck gets passed from the left to the right Bobby has been trained well enough to keep his torso upright, lift his leg, push off, and get into position on the other side of the crease. Bravo. It is like he has actually been trained in goaltending.

Moose:

• Desjardins – nice one. Really, really nice one.
• Bernard - I went to the bathroom. I hear in that time Bernard slammed MacMillan into the boards. Dude, I know he just got back from Anaheim and you might not recognize him yet but he is on our team…white is our team’s home jersey colour and Logan is our “star” player. K? Don’t hit Moose, hit Rocket!
• Ben MacAskill – That move. You was smoooooth baybee: coming into the neutral zone, putting the puck off the boards, getting around the PEI player, picking the puck back up, and swooping around the other PEI player to get into their zone. I almost fucking cried. I hope you get a nice puckbunny tonight. You deserve it. Not the STDs, you don’t deserve those, just that chance to feel special, ya know! Better yet, if you have a real girlfriend, go home with her and let her treat you well. Or just curl up with a good book, whichever you prefer. Surely you deserve some sort of special hockey prize. Since you did not get a “star” I will give you one of my special stars. They are made of cardboard and macaroni, then spraypainted gold and they have sparkles glued to them. Yours gets extra sparkles.
• Yuri Cheremetiev - hello Russian! You know that #89 was Alexander Mogilny's number right? I assume that is why you wear it. You shouldn't be wearing that number - you make it look bad.
  

You want an actual game recap with a scoring summary and shit. Nuts to you! Visit the QMJHL website game recap. I am way too lazy to be copying details from there. YES, I am a BITCH today. A huge Bitch.


News Links:
Matthew Wuest (Metro) - Corbeil shows flashes in home debut (agreed - I like him... and as my official Q boyfriend of the season he gets coos of sympathy for goals against, and coos of appreciation for nice saves)
Matthew Wuest (Metro) - Game notes, Rocket 7, Mooseheads 2
Matthew Wuest (Metro) - Pender shows off his cannon (oh, that sounds dirty)
Willy Palov (Chronicle Herald) - Whole new Look


* I may be over-reacting

Nadeau tells it like it is

Oh, long distance lover - you are so right. Hockey is a team sport and the responsibility for keeping pucks out of the net does not rest solely upon the goaltender. No I love you more...no I love you more blah blah hugs and kisses.

Bobby Nadeau is a smart, science-loving, glasses-wearing goaltender who tells it like it is. Oh, and he is ever so purrrrrrrr.

In a recent article written for Charlottetown's the Guardian newspaper Bobby Nadeau and Maxime Provencher claim that they were shocked to be traded to PEI from Chicoutimi at the draft, but are now somewhat happy for the change of pace. However, Bobby implies (or Charles Reid who wrote the article slants it so that it seems like Bobby implies) that PEI has to step up their defensive game.

According to the article:

Some of P.E.I.’s number resulted from inconsistent goaltending as starter Antoine Lafleur, 20, and backup Marc-Antoine Gélinas, 19, juggled the number one goalie slot for much of the season.

Less than cohesive team defence also played a major part, so Serge Savard Jr. snagged the veteran pair on draft day to solidify his club’s defensive side.

...Nadeau’s goal for improving the defence is clear.

“It will not be the job of just one player or two players. It will be all of the team. Last year in Chicoutimi we had the best defensive squad, but it was more than the defencemen and the goalie,” he said.

Damn straight. This is a team sport any anyone afraid of taking a third line role because they want to be a bigger part of the team should shut up and realize that third line shut-down guys are absolutely vital to a team. One's defensive responsibility to the team does is not forfeited because you are older or more experienced than some other guys on the team. Sometimes a good shut down player is a good shut down player. You do not need to be Johnny scoresalotofgoals to be appreciated on a team or by the fans. Me personally, I want to take shut-down guys and rub them all over my body - I want to bathe in them. Yes that is how strongly I love shut down forwards.

I mean, Bobby is basically just warning the PEI fans in advance that if the team suffers a horrific downfall it ain't all on him. He knows this because he is smart. He is saying (and not to put words in his mouth) what I have said before - if the rest of the team sucks and can't play a cohesive defensive game don't lay the blame at the goalie's feet. Yet, I know they will because PEI fans are sniveling whiners and the team is a chronic failure. I am not saying that our Moosefans are not also whiners - gotta be a whiner to know a whiner, I am just saying that some PEI fans seem like huge whiners.

Yes, I have said it before "They will tire quickly of that new-goalie smell. You may have one hell of a hard time on the island Mr. Nadeau. They will hate you, and you alone, for not being the ONE MAN who can save the team. Trust. Everybody knows that the fault ALWAYS lies with the man who guards the gates of hell."

Can you smell the sarcasm in that last sentence? Great minds think alike Bobby (you know how you can contact me).


...and then there were 28

The Mooseheads have cut forwards Jeff Marchand and Davey Shea. This leaves us with 4 goalies, 15 forwards and 9 defencemen.

Shut up Pierre McGuire

I have a number of thing of no real importance to discuss.

1) Shut up Pierre McGuire
In a recent review of players at the Team Canada IIHF under 20 training camp Pierre had this to say about Yann Sauve: "Yann Sauve is a big defenceman with good mobility. What he needs to do is get a lot stronger."

What? Please define stronger. Is Pierre McGuire from Mars where the Martian definition of stronger means something completely different from our Earthican word stronger? That is the first time I have ever heard anyone suggest Yann must be stronger, let alone "a lot stronger". The boy is somewhere between 210 - 215 lbs of pure muscle (weight varies depending upon source). The two words you hear to describe Yann Sauve more than all others are probably big and strong.

Perhaps Pierre was drunk and could only recall his own visage in the mirror that morning and how exceedingly difficult it was to lift that damn razor.


2) Hotties
Yep the Hottie Hockey Dreamy Team is still below the cap and GMs W. A. Curl and I.M.W.G. Guys are still looking to select which centreman and right winger to sign before arbitration. Arbitration can get so damn messy.
So far the team has signed Goalfenceman Carey Price
Defencemen Kris Letang and Mike Komisarek
and Left Winger Zach Parise

You may ask: Dear Q qirl, is that jailbaity enough for you? My answer - it will do nicely.

To make the Hottie Hockey Dreamy Team selection process run even more smoothly the GMs have decided to call in an expert consultant known only as "polldaddy". Polldaddy ensures that you do not need to be a registered member of the NHLBA (NHL bloggers association) to vote. Voting is now anonymous...all you have to do is push a button. Even boys know how to do that!

Wait - none of my boyfriends knew how to do that. I kept showing them but it never quite sunk in.

I think I just realized that boys are stoopid. Stoopid but pretty. I keep them for the pretty but I need one that can push buttons - a tall, well toned, naughty boy with a porn 'stache who doesn't really have to be smart, he just has to be capable of skinner box reward learning. Push button, get treat! That's all I want.

Maybe it's my fault. I keep giving them treats because they are pretty, not because they pushed the button. They will never learn that way.


3) I have a Poll too?
Indeed I do. Look to your right - in the sidebar - then vote. I need a new Q boyfriend, and I have mad passions for goaltenders. Some would even call me a goalie whisperer.

So far Shawinigan netminder Timo Pielmeier is leading, but the Mooseheads potential backup goaltenders are nipping on his heels. I think Dumaresque is quite cookie worthy.


But what of Bobby Nadeau? Even though Bobby occasionally talks to the media, we personally have an all cuddle, no talk policy; which is why we are not discussing this. I look at my poll and I see that my #1 choice is clearly not the will of the people.

Oh, sweet, dreamy, edible Bobby Nadeau *nibbles* - even if you cannot be my #1 I will still want to sit in your lap and smell your fluffy pre-game hair. A girl wants what she wants. Will our relationship ever move beyond the cuddle phase? Do you know how to press buttons? Are you a quick learner?

Your hands were made for touchin' girls not for punchin' boys. I just thought everyone should know that. In fact, I think that most men, if given the choice, would prefer to use their hands for touchin' girls. Why did this have to rear its ugly head again? You have bigger things to think about right now...like stoppin' pucks, getting ready for next season, and our first date of 2008.

I know you are not a big boy - only 6'0" and 170 lbs but I like slim, well toned, guys. I don't like muscley guys with no necks - ewwww. I also like your blue eyes, your long pretty fingers, and your wonky smile - I am huge on wonky smiles (just ask Travis Fullerton). Maybe the people just need to see more pictures of you here and here and here and here and here (in red) . You are exceptionally cute when you are popping into frame. That made me quite happy. My skankspionage skills are unsurpassed.

Did I mention that you had the best GAA in the league for 2007-2008, and the fancy trophy it comes with? I like that too.

I like you and I am glad we threw the whole one date a year policy out the window, because frankly that sucked. You will never learn how to press buttons if you don't get a chance to practice. I just hope that this season our 4 dates do not coincide with my 4 AUS dates with Travis Fullerton. Then I will have two dates in one night. It would be like the standard plot of a poorly written slapstick comedy. Who would get the girl in the end? When it comes to goalies everyone knows how I roll!

With two boys I would hope that the chances of success are doubled. That's 4 eyes, 16 fingers and 4 thumbs. If two boys still can't find the damn button and learn to push it I'm going to quit boys for good...or work my way up to three boys.

Charles Lavigne is so good at the poke check (yes that is at least 3 poke checks in one shootout round)...maybe he can apply those skills to button pushing. hmmmmmmm.

____________________________________
edit - Also, Bobby wears glasses. I adore boys with glasses.

What is up PEI Rocket?

I have always been told that I should start a letter on a positive note, so first up let me congratulate you on your acquisition of Bobby Nadeau and Maxime Provencher. The first boy is smooth and dreamy, the second boy a staunchy smart defender. I would love to get between their blue line and crease.

That being said, may I point out that both of your jerseys are ugly*... and really - JUST ONE ROCKET- you cannot build an army with just one rocket. Ooooh I’m so scared, don’t poke me in my girlie bits with your rocket. Also, why did you have to fuck up the rocket by putting a little face on it? You should have put a little Maurice Richard piloting the rocket and peeping through the window, then maybe, just maybe, I would like you because you made me laugh.

You got it all mixed up. Your claim to fame is Brad Richards, not Maurice Richard. Richards/ Richard - I mean, who couldn’t mess that up, right? What you really should have done when you bought the team and moved it to PEI from Montreal, was change its damn name. When I think PEI I do not think Maurice Richard, nor do I think rocket – and no, the Sidewinder at Magic Mountain does not count.

There are many predictable choices for names: 1) The PEI potato farmers, 2) the PEI confederationists 3) The PEI Annes of Green Gables, 4) the PEI golfers, 5) the PEI overrated amusement parks, 6) the PEI Haywire; any of which would have been more appropriate than the PEI Rocket.

Now that I am done hurling insults, let me just sidle up next to your new goalie - closer, closer, until I find myself sitting in his lap, running my fingers through his hair, playing with his pouty lip, and smelling the little spot on his neck behind his ear while whispering sweet nothings about fancy saves. Yeah that IS NICE, VERY NICE.

I think I am in love Mr. Bobby Nadeau. I am glad you are coming East to be with me since you are the boy I had chosen in advance to be my #1 (non-mooseheads) goalie boyfriend this season.

However, I am sorry if the team that you have gotten yourself messed up with makes you look bad this year. I will still love you, because I have the mad skills to recognize when the problem is not the boy, but the team that plays in front of him.

What is the current situation with your new team? I am glad you asked. According to an article in PEI’s the Guardian newspaper, your team currently has too many boys heading into their 20 year old season, some of which will have to go. There is you, sweet Bobby Nadeau, and your defensey friend Provencher along with:
Antoine Lafleur
Dylan Quaile
Bryan Main
Chad Locke
Matthew Lachaine

Cosmonaut Savard says “(The) plan is to start Nadeau, Provencher and Lachaine, up front. Bryan Main, Dylan Quaile are available this week. If we don’t move them, I’m sure Guy will want to bring them back to camp and see what’s going on for the third spot.”

Furthermore, the acquisition of you, dreamy, sweet, edible Bobby Nadeau (nibbles ear to see if he is indeed edible – hooray, he is!) means that both Antoine Lafleur and Marc-Antoine Gellidonuts are up for grabs. This clears a space for PEI to develop some of their younger goalies such as Evan Mosher or Jon Waye.

Savard apparently shares in my skanktivetous ways, which is obvious when he says – “Nothing against Antoine or Marc-Antoine, but (Nadeau) was available”. INDEED Savard INDEED – the old grab and dump works every time. It is like when I was going out with Roger Kennedy and the Moose brought in P-O, and I was suddenly all like - Kennedy who? It’s not that I didn’t love Kennedy at the time (a girl must always stand by her goalie) its just, well, have you seen Mr. Pier-Olivier Pelletier? Kennedy would dump himself too if Pelletier came-a-knocking at his door with chocolates, poke-checks, smooth lateral movement, and that heart-melting smile**. Coo.

It is last season redux. It's not that we don’t love Lafleur - because he did try, he is bold and big-pimpin', and always 'too cool for school' with the way he wears his hat backwards when he is riding the pine. It is just that Nadeau can satisfy a girl in ways no other 20 year old goalie in the league can (think of all the things you could do with that Jacques-Plante Trophy), and for that reason and that reason alone we must bid Lafleur adieu.

But new goalie beware, reading the comments in Guardian reminds me that Rocketfans are as bitter and disenchanted as Moosefans. They will tire quickly of that new-goalie smell. You may have one hell of a hard time on the island Mr. Nadeau. They will hate you, and you alone, for not being the ONE MAN who can save the team. Trust. Everybody knows that the fault ALWAYS lies with the man who guards the gates of hell.

If you need a good nuzzling, a cup of hot cocoa, or just someone to vent your frustrations to - you know where to find me. I have built a little nest under the seats at the Halifax Metro Centre. I come out during games and I stare at goalies. Just look for the small, creepy girl who is burrowing a hole into your soul with her eyes. Don’t be scared - I do bite, but not hard.

*admittedly our red, green, white and gold Moose jersey is the fugliest thing this side of Rod Brind'Amour.

** (edit) The real smile, not the half-assed fake smile that he does in an attempt to hide the teeth. Trust me P-O, the teeth are good, we like your teeth and they work very well with that mischievous smile (the real smile) and your strong chin. I swear I tried to look you in the eye when we met, but I did not make it past the smile - it was THAT enchanting. It was so enchanting in fact, that it made me smile, and I never smile because I hate my wonk-ass teefs. Right now as I type this I am smiling because I am thinking about your smile - yes, it is just that powerful.

Happy 20th birthday Bobby Nadeau...here is your public humiliation.

I love how the Q constantly fucks up the details on things.

Lengthy suspensions have been handed out to Remparts players:

• Jonathan Roy gets a 7 game suspension (bring on Audette) for his attack on Bobby Nadeau and for flipping off the Chicoutimi fans.
• Maxime Lacroix gets 3 games for hittin' a bitch while he is down
• Marc-Olivier Vallerand also gets two games for looking innocent but acting like a jerk.

and Sags players:

• Sébastien Rioux is out for 6 games for the ultimate sin - leaving the penalty box and getting back into the fight to attack baby Roy.
• Antoine Roussel gets a one game suspension for instigating
• Charles-Antoine Messier gets two games

and both of the coaches were suspended too. Fines abound.

...but here is the catch - according to the Q website they say

" Quebec Remparts goaltender Jonathan Roy is suspended seven games and receives a $500 fine for his assault on the opposing goaltender, Ryan Mior, as well as for the inappropriate gestures which he aimed at the crowd at the Georges-Vézina Centre during last Saturday’s game."

...but baby Roy did not attack Ryan Mior, he went after Bobby Nadeau. HELLO Q, am I the only one with this obsessive knowledge of your goalies...there are not that many to keep track of (not even if you count ALL the goalies for the Titan)...so why can't you keep track of them.

Now this reference to a hit on Mior is more like it, if you had actually identified it as being a hit on Mior:

"Shawinigan Cataractes winger Tommy Tremblay is hit with a six-game suspension for a bodycheck he administered to the opposing goaltender during last Saturday night’s game. "

While both Ryan and Bobby are 20, both are good little goalies, and both are reasonably attractive - they are not the same man. Dear Q - please remember that this is Ryan Mior and this is Bobby Nadeau. If it helps - Ryan is the heavier one with the funny Newf accent and with the little squirrel friend who plays for Gatineau, and Bobby is the French one in Chicoutimi. Is it clear yet?

But don't worry, that beatdown was just baby Roy's way of saying happy 20th birthday Bobby Nadeau. Yeah, Bobby turned 20 just this past Sunday. Why do birthdays always suck like that - "I turned 20 and for my birthday I get to sit idly by as the whole world watches me get beaten up by Patrick Roy's kid." Poor Bobby Nadeau.

I will kiss you better Mr. Nadeau. If you get traded to Halifax next year as a 20 year old I can give you those kisses and we can totally make you suck your way to oblivion. Do you want to end your Jr career on a low note - then come to Halifax - WE BREAK GOALIES.

Some other things to point out:
Olivier Roy (the good goalie with the surname of Roy who plays for the Eagles) had his very first playoff shutout this past weekend when the Eagles faced the Lewiston MAINEiacs. In all the fuss about the MAINEiacs losing 2 of 2, getting shut out, and Jonathan Bernier getting no assistance from his boys while simultaneously being stymied by his own evil moustache - I forgot about the Super Boy doing all that shutting out. This is Olivier's 5th shutout this season. He ended the season with a 2.87 GAA, the 7th best in the league, which is totally awesome for a rookie. Olivier has also just won the Raymond-Lagacé Trophy as the League’s top defensive rookie.


Saint John vs PEI - Game 1:
You are next Fully...I have so much to say about your first playoff game because you were rusty as hell in the first and second. I think I saw only one fancy save, and that was in the third - thank the Hockey Gods that you were able to pull up your socks if for no other reason than for 'looking smooth' and impressing me. They totally should have played you in the game against Halifax to prevent rust. Now scuddle over here in that cute little way that you scuddle across the crease...we have to talk. Why did Robert Mayer dye his hair back to blond leaving you and Passingham to look like the only freaks on your team with black hair? Will Passy fold too? It is time to disown Mayer from your goalie friend circle? What a traitor!!! Moose have black hair - you can join our team. However be forewarned - you might lose your power and start to suck...it always helps your confidence when we boo you as the people of Halifax often do. Junior goalies shouldn't let in soft goals, it's not like this is a development league or anything. Do you want a healthy dose of Booooooooo?

What, they don't booo you in Saint John? They treat you well even when you play poorly? They say thank you Fully, they say thank you for trying? They even thank Mayer when he loses...they thank him for trying? Passy too? Wow, Saint John are so sweet.

I will see you tonight . rowwwwrrr.

Oh and while you are in PEI tell 'big pimpin' Lafleur that he looked pretty good in the first, sharp even despite the two goals. He actually looked better than you....and did I see a little touch of goalie rage, an unpenalized slash on one of your Dogs. Ohhh Lafleur is scrappy. Then kick him for me since he is the one who ran Ryan Mior out of town.

Pier-Olivier Pelletier:
I actually wish I had something to say to you, but I have nothing because you are not playing...you are just sitting on the bench looking pretty. Sometimes I look at you on the bench and I sigh because you are pretty, but I would really prefer that you had your little mask on and that you were standing in some blue paint. Sigh.

Today my girl C.G. said that you were not the prettiest thing on the earth and that I should get over it - so I had to think about that one for a second. I thought of my boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriends; I thought of some actors, some singers, some other boys I have met in my life, and then I thought of some hockey players: Vermette, Fisher, Theodore, Brodeur, Pretty Ricky, Price, Latendresse. hmmmmm. My conclusion: yep, you are indeed the prettiest boy I have ever laid my eyes on in my whole life. Sigh. How can you live with such immense levels of pretty? Now how is that for a confidence booster!!! Thank you for letting me know you exist and for making the world a prettier place. Sigh.