Nostradamus does it again

The Montreal Junior will be giving free agent and former Mooseheads George Dunn a try out at their training camp. See!

Whew. I hate when I get these things wrong. Therefor I am glad I got it right and did not post misinformation when I came across it. George and Richie can now gossip about the Moose behind their backs from the safety of Montreal.


In other interesting (???) trade news* the Mooseheads have swapped Matthew Burns to the Rouyn Noranda Huskies for a 12th round pick in 2010.

Matthew Wuest has a few more articles posted: one on 2009 draft pick Kody Orr, another on their import pick Konrad Abeltschauser, and an update on some old Gerrad Grant news. There is also a general piece about the training camp.

I find Konrad's eyebrows to be absolutely mystifying.


*admittedly, not that interesting

Hold it just one second...

The Mooseheads website banner just changed. I think. How long has it been like this?


Now, look at those fine chaps. I see Jessyko Bernard aka puppy aka Muttley aka some really great eyebrows aka my possible next one true love. I also see Alexis Piette aka Dick Dastardly aka possibly the best eyebrows on the team. To the right I spot that spicy little Gabe Desjardins and feisty Travis Randell. Both are too blonde to determine how awesome their eyebrow actually are but I am pretty sure that Randell has some choice eyebrows.

Clearly they were all chosen for the banner on some sort of eyebrow power scale. But the thing is... if rumours are true and we get Garrett Clarke from the Lewiston Maineiacs we are supposed to hand over, in turn, one of our fancy eyebrowed 19 year old forwards.

We have five 19 year old forwards, listed here by team number and not eyebrow power :
Tomas Knotek
Gerrad Grant
Charles Bety
Alexis Piette
Ned O'Brian

Fine, I admit it. Some of my team *cough* Gerrad *cough* have sub-par eyebrows. Even little Gabe could never be an eyebrow model.

But I digress.

Why would the team put a certain pair of fantastic eyebrows on their banner if they are planning on trading him in a week? Sassafrassarassum Rick Rastardly! Then again it is not like they didn't put Andrew White's *le sigh* visage on the link to the QMJHL live game feeds while simultaneously shopping him around the league. So what do I know?

Oh yeah, I'll tell you what I know. I was the first to introduce the Garrett Clarke trade story but I get no props. When was that? Oh yeah, April 21, 2009. Sucking dick gets you no respect... even if you are only just pretending to be a consummate dick sucker you still aren't given the least bit of respect. All this faux ho fo sho stuff is getting exhausing. What is more exhausing are the stupid people who can't see past the facade and realize that I am just a regular old hockey fan... but with ovaries and titties. Nice titties. Pfff. Yes, I notice when you look.

Monday updates: Where Raf is king!

Ahem, Cold team again! Poor boys. Here, have some hot chocolate and a nice warm blanket straight from the dryer. Extra marshmallows? Ok. Whatever you want as long as you promise to keep trying, and not give up on yourselves or your teammates... and stay away from girls silly enough to wear short shorts in an ice rink.

Yep, sportsnet have once again named the Halifax Mooseheads the cold team of the week:

A trip to Northern Québec did little to stop the bleeding for the Mooseheads, who dropped both contests at Val-d'Or and Rouyn-Noranda. Halifax has lost six straight games and won just twice in their last 10. With the recent emergence of the Foreurs, Halifax has the inside track on the first overall pick as they hold the fewest points at 31.

Hilarious, but sadly no... the Foreurs not only have their own 1st round pick, but they also have the Mooseheads' - *sighs*.

The Oceanic are the hot team, Raf D'Orso (Foreurs goaltender) is the hot player and Pierre-Luc Lessard (Drakkar defenceman) is the cold player.

The QMJLH Players of the week are the aforementioned Raffaele D'Orso (seen to your left, looking hot in goalie gear... as this is what goalie gear is prone to do to the average boy) and Jacob Legace of the Chicoutimi Sagueneens.

See my Moosies, it is not your fault you could not win, Raffaele would not have allowed it. Raf was just feeling all fancy this week, bolstered by his shutout over the Junior de Montreal and his 1.33 GAA /0.971 save%. He just wanted to feel like the old Raffaele, the dreamy girl magnet with the good stats... let him have this one little joy. Then pin him down and shave his douchetastic chin strap - it does not do him justice.

Tee Hee:
I would recognize those eyebrows from across an ocean (Image from the U Waterloo Warriors homepage). WTF Pier? You are not allowed to wear RBKs, you are a Vaughn's man!!!

This past weekend Pier backstopped the U Waterloo Warriors in back-to-back wins over Thunder bay's Lakehead Thunderwolves.

Pier Pelletier continued his phenomenal play for the Warriors this weekend as he turned aside 71-75 shots, earning him Warrior of the week honours.

Some peeps can fuss over Marchand and Bodnarchuk but I am going to stick with fussing over Pelletier, thank you very much. I am glad he is appreciated somewhere.

I'm sorry

I should not have taken it out on you. You know how I get when you lose a game you should have won, I have been drinking, and I have been denied my Fullerton. Did I mention that I was drinking?

I didn't really watch the game. I am, therefore, not in a position to judge except to say that losing 6-2 against a team like the Foreurs is totally unacceptable. Is it lonely down there in the basement? The other 5 bottom dwellers all got points last night. Val d'Or got 2, Lewiston got 2, Bathurst got 2 and, Baie Comeau and Chicoutimi went into shootout with the BC Drakkar walking away with 2 points. This does not bode well for you my sweet ungulates.

I am just going to check the newspaper now to see if Cam says you battled hard but did not get the lucky bounces. Wait a sec... nope! Willy Palov's article says nothing.

I just wanted to let you know that it is not about lucky bounces. It is about being in the right place at the right time. You can't blame all of your failures on 'lucky bounces' for the other team. In truth, the 'lucky bounce' is a rare thing... and it actually involves some puck bouncing stuff. Remember the time we were playing Saint John and the puck bounced over Amyot's stick, over Mayer's stick and landed right near a Moosehead who was facing an open net, who then did not fan on the shot - that is a lucky bounce combined with right place/right time stuff AND net hitting skillz.


About last night:

• Mark Yetman got the start but was pulled before the start of the second period for having allowed 3 goals on 10 shots**. Yetman gets the loss.
• Mathieu Corbeil played the second and third periods allowing 3 goals on 27 shots.
• Raffaele D'Orso allowed 2 goals on 35 shots and had an assist. Oh la la. See ladies - there are benefits to playing the puck.

Moose were 0 for 6 on the PP, while the Foreurs were 2 for 5. Our special teams need to smarten up. They were doing OK for a while there but in recent games have gone completely kaboomy. Mooseheads have the worst power play in the league with a 14.2% efficiency. They have also allowed 11 short handed goals this season. Sad really!

Tomas Knotek got both of the Moosehead goals with assists by Jessyko Bernard *hugs*, Justin Pender (same old tip in of a Pender shot from the blue line- welcome back), and Ben MacAskill. At some point, in what little game I did watch, I heard John Moore cooing over Charles Bety. Good for Bety, now he can start a bromance with our radio announcer.

The good:

• Piette is still coming out on top in the faceoffs, winning 13 of 23.
• Jessyko was throwing his weight around. 3 hits.
• Eric Louis-XVI was able to play.
• Pender returns.
• Knotek, because 2 goals is never bad.
• pictures
  

The bad/the ugly:

• Mark Yetman. I don't know what those shots looked like but the numbers are ugly.
• Eric Louis-XVI was there in name only.
• Giving the Foreurs 5 power plays.
• Kevie (stars- oh hooray), Frankie (don't poke my goalie in the face) and Rafie combining for 4 assists + a goal by "les sourcils" Sauve. I love them but technically they are the enemy.

I still can not decide if anymoose deserves cookies.


The Future:
Tonight the Moose play the Rouyn Noranda Huskies, the only team in the league with a zombie on their roster. Yeah, you heard me right!

What! You didn't know that Brad Yetman was a zombie? He totally is! He was bitten by a zombie on Dec 29 2008 and had transformed into a full fledged zombie by January 16th. Shawinigan knew that he had the zombie virus. Being a top tier team they feared some sort of punishment from the CHL come playoff time, especially considering that they are good enough to be Memorial cup contenders this year. So they went ahead and traded him on Jan 9th to an unsuspecting Rouyn-Noranda, just days before 'the rage' kicked in full force.

So there you have it: Rouyn Noranda 53 points, 22 ahead of the Moose, and up by one zombie.

Our 'pet the Yeti'* says he does not want to allow defensive defencezombie Yetman to get a goal against him. Given the outcome of last night's game I wonder if the two Yetmans will even be given a chance to battle (HA) it out. I, for one, want Brad to get a goal. It will be a league milestone. First goal ever scored by a zombie in the CHL.


*as opposed to, oh say, 'fear the Yeti'. Nobody fears Mark Yetman.
** I had originally said 3 in 9... cuz the Q game page is inconsistent between its goalie stats in the team section and its shot stats at the bottom of the page.
edit - i watched a bit of the first from the archives. Honestly how many sticks and pucks did the moose take to the face?

A quickie

Hockey Canada has posted the results of the latest scrimmage from the men's under 18 training camp. The game was tied 2:2. Screaming Eagles netminder Olivier Roy (team White) made a boo boo that allowed for the first goal of the game and Maxime Clermont (Gatineau) allowed both goals against team Red, one of which was scored by Matt Brown (Moncton).


Nathan over at the Asylum had a lot of Q links that need following up on, so I suggest you just go check out his mad house.

One thing I must link to however is a hockey news article about Maxime Sauve (Val d'Or). Maxime is endowed with one of my highest honours by being dubbed 'les Sourcils' but he is also a source of frustration for me, and not only because of our past...for I am sure that as a member of an opposing team, he will continue to frustrate me for years to come. For you see, my team could have had 'les Sourcils' were it not for a desperate grab to get 'the hometown hero' for all of 4 months. We gave in and partook in a three way, and like all three ways, we came out of it feeling a bit huseliused.

For those who do not know (everybody who follows the Q knows...and they point and laugh), during the Christmas trade period the Mooseheads traded our MIA 2007 first round draft pick David Gilbert (age 16) and a couple of future draft picks to Quebec for Maxime Sauve (age 17) . Then we turned around and traded Maxime Sauve and a couple more futures (including first rounders) to Val D'Or for Brad Marchand (age 19).

The logic behind this fuck-fest was that Brad Marchand is a 'proven winner'. He won a President's cup in his rookie season with Moncton, he got to the QMJHL finals with Val D'Or, and he was a member of 2 gold medal winning Canadian IIHF under 20 teams. Also, being a hometown boy, he would put butts in the seats...and put butts in the seats he did.

However, it turns out that Brad (26GP, 10G, 19A = 1.115 PPG ) was barely more productive in the second half of the season than Maxime Sauve (32GP, 14G, 19A = 1.031 PPG) who was playing on a far weaker team. It was excessively frustrating to watch him play goal-less game after goal-less game. He was all moves, no finish; all dazzle, no razzle; all fuckidy-fuck, no orgasm. Furthermore, Brad's tenure with the Mooseheads was frought with the rumor that he was disruptive, had an attitude problem, and induced a schism in the locker room.

We (sadly) will never know what takes place in hockey locker rooms (naked towel fights?). What we do know is that the Mooseheads played like poo for most of their second half and ultimately crashed and burned in the playoff semi-finals, getting swept by the Gatineau Olympiques following two heartbreaking OT losses at home and two complete ass whoopins on the road...and in his very last ever game as a QMJHL player Marchand was benched.

Only time will tell how these boys compare, but since both Sauve and Marchand will be tested at the same Big Club - the Boston Bruins, it will make for about as fair a comparison as one could make. Their fate is in the hands of Chiarelli. But what I am really pissed off about is the eyebrows.

We traded Sauve (left) for Marchand (right). Un-fucking believable.

NHL draft. It's Like I Am Just Giving Away My Babies

The NHL draft is this weekend and I have compiled a list of all of the QMJHL players on the NHL draft list from Central Scouting Services, along with their expected draft position and round. I have been meaning to do this post now for about two weeks, but I have been too lazy to dig through my team photos to find pictures of all of the boys.

I will start of course with the goaltenders, because goalies make me feel all funny down there. Tomorrow I will cover the skaters. Do not expect me to cover skaters like I covered goalies; skaters and I aren't down like that.

In addition, TSN has posted a list of their top 60 prospects, some of our Q boys are on there, including one of today's subjects Jake Allen of the (oh fuck it) St John's Fog Devils and 2008 Canada under 18 team. Jake is ranked by TSN at #31. Peter Delmas of the Lewiston Maineiacs gets an honourable mention. Before I get to the list may I just say that I am still completely mesmerized by Zach Boychuk and Maxime Sauve's eyebrows. TSN's pics are an eyebrow fetishists dream come true. Zach Bogosain is the newest member in my club. Let's all give him a warm welcome.



Of the 30 goalies listed by Central Scouting Services, 7 play in the QMJHL. I have included links (click name) to their game-by-game stats. The goalies are are listed by

Rank, Name, Team, Games played, GAA, Minutes, Save %:

3 Peter Delmas, LEWISTON, 34, 2.84, 1987, 0.903
7 Kevin Poulin, VICTORIAVILLE 52, 3.69, 2733, 0.887
8 Jake Allen, ST. JOHN'S 30, 3.14, 1507, 0.901
14 Robert Mayer, SAINT JOHN 32, 3.77, 1669, 0.877
20 Marco Cousineau, BAIE-COMEAU 58, 2.81, 3226, 0.903
22 Mathieu Leclair, BAIE-COMEAU 22, 2.92, 1005, 0.896
26 Nicolas Champion, BATHURST 38, 2.96, 2130, 0.857

Delmas, Poulin, Allen, Mayer, Champion

Delmas is definitely the dude to hold the top spot amoung Q- goalies, and deservedly so. He has been rockin' it consistently for two years, so we have a pretty good idea of what this kid can do. Like his mentor Bernier, his biggest asset is positioning. You can't really take away from his skill by saying he does what he does only because he plays for a team with a good defensive system. If I had to choose between Delmas and Allen, I would go with Delmas. Delmas makes me feel safe, warm, loved. He has only been usurped by Allen recently because of Allen's stellar performance at the World Under 18s, in which Canada walked away with the gold and Allen won MVP of the tournament.
*edit - Wuest has a new article on Delmas in the Metro. There is a picture - he is adorable like a snappy lobster.

It is not that I don't like Jake Allen, but he has lost more than he has won and he has been outplayed by a number of goalies who are far lower on this list than him. Furthermore, I just have not seen enough of him, and neither have all of these people who are projecting him to go in the second round. Ya know what though, that little MF is gonna go high. I feel it in my bones, I feel it in my sitemeter. Jake is a good puck handing goaltender and he has that same sexy little cross crease wiggle that I have seen Travis Fullerton do. I do not know what is in the water in new Brunswick to make these boys move and puck handle like they do, but it is a sight to behold. That wiggle ain't right. No really it ain't right, I think it may be technically incorrect and lazy, but it works for these boys somehow... and it looks damn sexy.
* edit - An interview with Jake can be downloaded at the pipeline show

What I can tell you is that Jake Allen definitely deserves to be ahead of Kevin Poulin in the Central Scouting report. Kevin Poulin is a temperamental ragdoll. I think that Victoriaville probably rode this kid into the ground when there was absolutely no need to do so. They had perfectly cromulent goaltender in Blanchard during the first half, and overplayed Poulin in the second half behind a weaker team. According to an older report from in La Nouvelle L'union, written about the time of the Combine, Poulin was expected to have talks with the Hurricanes and about 11 other NHL franchises.

Swiss import Robert Mayer had mad skillz half of the time, the other half the time he was just standing around dreaming of lollipops and ponies with sparkles in their flowing manes. Either that or he was all distracted by his sexy teammates. I mean honestly, who wouldn't be. He, like many of us (me) will have one less distraction with Travis Fullerton having outgrown the Q. Robert can do stretchy moves like its no-ones business where or how he learned those stretchy moves. Furthermore, he does those stretchy moves with little cost to his own wellbeing. He needs to work more on his attentiveness (it is not all about impressing me with stretchy moves), positioning and rebound control. Either that or he needs to join a circus.

Champion only joined the Q at the Christmas trading period, and he did not get much icetime until late January when his goaltending counterpart Antoine Tardif, a boy who was apparently not long for scouting lists since he has fallen completely off the map, got injured. The Titan rode Champion like I would ride a goalie - long and hard. He plays flashy in the net, but if I recall correctly he is not big on adventurous puckhandling. Anyway, the kid was worn out by playoffs, no doubt. He had absolute moments of brilliance, but by the end of the season it was pretty much guaranteed that if you got those shots on net, some of them were going to slip by.

I cannot tell you much about LeClair or Cousineau, except to say that they played on a defensively minded team. The Moose faced these guys only twice all season, once at home, once on the road, and both times Cousineau was in nets. What I can tell you is that we shut them out: 4-0 the first try, and we were about 30 seconds from shutting them out 4-0 on our second go.

Sticking with goalie talk

I have so much to say about everything - like Gatineau being out of the Memorial cup in three games, but it hurts too much to talk about it. Love and loss is one of the most painful things. Just ask Gatineau captain J-P Chabot about the pain - he was crying, I was not. I have almost gone numb when it comes to hockey this season, every round I pick a new lover, about a week later they dump my ass. I have gone through 7 hockey lovers between the QMJHL and the NHL so far this playoff season. Do you see why I have gone numb?

If you need Memorial cup coverage you can check out the official Memorial cup webpage. The QMJHL website has also covered Gatineau's downfall in the Memorial cup tournament. I will stick with NJ draft pick Matt Halischuk and the Rangers for now (lover #8, Detroit Red Wings will be lover #9 by default). I also find Ranger's goaltender Josh Unice wonderfully spriggin - his little nose and pouty upper lip look cute peeking out from behind his helmet. Am I charmed by his mommasboyness? It is not a good feature for real boyfriends, but it is so sweet when imaginary boyfriends are mommasboys.

Also, ummm he has really great eyebrows. You know I had to mention it eventually, what with my eyebrow fetish and all. You can oogle Josh, his pixie nose, his pouty upper lip and his awesome eyebrows at this photo gallery. Unfortunately, you cannot judge his 'game' by looking at photos. I bet he totally takes eyebrow grooming tips from teammate Steve Mason, who has such rawkin' brows that he is a chairperson in my eyebrow club. Mase is adorable with his helmet on and with the crunchy-crunchy faces that he makes. Also - hello! He is the grown-up version of baby Steve Mason - who is a deadringer for my immaculate conception baby, the baby fathered by the essence of Pelletier, Bernier and Fullerton.

What are the odds of a team having two goalies with RAWKIN' eyebrows? Is it a Kitchener conspiracy?

Ugh as I type this Kitchener have lost in OT and are 1-2 for the round robin. I suck at picking lovers. Poor Unice, the puck went off his head, and the Bulls got a goal on the rebound when he was still discombobulated.

GOALIES in the QMJHL:
Ryan Mior
I had been wondering where Olympique's goaltender Ryan Mior would be playing University hockey next year. I was out facebook stalking (not stalking Mior - but someone else) when I came across Mior's profile which had him listed on the University of Ottawa Network. It would make sense for him to be there for his post QMJHL career since he is currently living in the region and probably already enrolled in classes there. However, he may not have actually been admitted to a University team yet. An article from canwest news services states "Ryan Mior, who set QMJHL records for games played by a goaltender and shutouts, is also finished playing junior hockey, perhaps moving on to university hockey." Key word -PERHAPS. Leaving me with nothing but speculation is no fun for me.

Antoine Tardif
According to L'Express, Antoine has had a successful surgery on his ankle. Doctors had originally speculated that he would have to stay off of the ankle for 6 weeks but when they went in for arthroscopic examination they determined that the source of his pain was due to one of his torn ligaments slipping between the ankle joints. Antoine should be back on his feet within the week. At least I think this is what they are saying - the article is in French and my French skills are shifty. What I do know is that my kisses did his ankle well. Now that I get a closer look at Antoine's brows they don't look that great in the center - he needs some grooming. He is out of the club.

Drummondville : Pelletier, Gougeon, Tardif and the goalie coach that rocks.
There is an interview with Drummondville goalie coach Marco Marciano in the Drummondville edition of L'Express. Marco worked with Gougeon and Pelletier last season, with Gougeon, Dupont and Dunnett this season, and will be helping Tardif and Dunnett along next season. Marco is proud of Gougeon's play in the finals and thinks that 'the Gouge' should do well despite being a toy goalie.

However, he is confused about why P-O's season went so wrong, and does not understand how it happened that Pier fell so far as to allow Yetman to steal the number one job in nets for Halifax come playoff time. When I say "fell so far" I mean, "not given a legitimate chance to play again" once Yeti was able to win a game (something he did not do, nor was he really given the chance to do, between Dec 27 and Feb 24). Which reminds me - we treated our 'tenders like shit!!!

Marco essentially said that you have to push P-O, as was done at the beginning of the 2006-07 season when Pier had a slow start coming off of injury, but once he is pumped up he will play excellently. After training camps with Detroit last year, and before coming to Halifax, P-O was apparently rocking it and Marco saw him as a potential AHL goalie for last season. He wishes P-O the best of luck for a future pro- career in the upcoming season. Me too P-O, me too. Coo.

Marco seems good, what with the fact that he is involved with Hockey Canada's development program - and he stresses the ability to handle the puck. You can read an older interview with him at the QMJHL website. He has worked with MAF, Houle, and my very own sweet sensitive Jonathan Bernier (in baby form).

Maybe P-O should go back to train with Marco this summer. He should also check in with a sports psychologist since it worked wonders for Mior. Trust me, it wasn't you P-O, it was 'us'. Lewiston's goaltending coach is also big on having a psychologist around to help out.

I don't talk about this a lot, but it was P-O's eyebrows themselves that inspired the eyebrow club - they are thick but they have the best arch. In fact, he is the silent co-owner of the club. He also inspires my weakness for pixie noses and pouty upper lips. Do I need more clubs?

_____________________________________

Alexander goaltending (where Travis Fullerton teaches and Jake Allen learns) has training videos available on you tube. Cute, Fully is teaching me his basic Fully tricks. Hmmmm but no Fully scuddle - shame.

The fanatical musings of a fanatical (fill in the blank)

Is it horrible that there are players on our 2007/2008 team that I don't like? I mean I really, really dislike them. Am I a bad person? There is probably no real reason that I do not like them...I just don't get the attraction to them, and some of them were very popular. Sometimes I assign shifty personalities to players, thinking some may be more arrogant than others, while with others I embrace their shifty ways. If a player is good on the Penalty kill I usually like them, I totally embrace those that can backcheck.

So it is true that when I said "I love all 25 of you" - I lied.

Graham Bona
I like underdogs. Sometimes I hate how certain players got away with a lot of shit while others were repeatedly torn down by fans when they made the same mistakes as our 'stars'. The harder people come down on certain players the more I like them - for example Bona (and also Monast). I know he is a hometown boy (while I am generally an anti-homer), and that by being a hometown boy some people will like him just because... but some people could also be really harsh with him. Not me though - I would be all over Bona with a bucket of ice cream and spoon. I really like GrahamBo. Graham is a defensive defenseman, and one can make a good living just staying at home - ask Colin White.

At first our fans complained that our defense was not defensive enough (it really was a huge problem). Then when the defense finally decided to step it up, they complained that the defense was not offensive enough, and that there was no one to QB the powerplay. But...maybe we did have another defenseman to QB the powerplay - but there was no way in hell our coaches were taking Jake off of the point, and that was that. During the final game of the season against Saint John we had neither Voracek nor Bodnarchuk to play the point on the PP, and all three of our goals were scored on the PP, with our PP efficiency at 50%. Clearly some of the other guys could get the job done.

Anyway my point is: when you have a team which is loaded with offense for depth in scoring and then complain because on a roster with 9 defenseman, where we have two purely defensive defensemen, that those defenseman are just not getting it done for your offense, may I suggest you go to your bathroom - look in the mirror and tell yourself to fuck off.

Logan MacMillan
I used to not like Logan - I never understood why he was drafted to the NHL first round. Then he got injured and his production went down - way down. Now he is fighting tooth and nail for every scrap he can get his hands on (even though he was given the privilege of top line ice time). Sometimes he is literally fighting. He is also wonderfully defensive. I now love Logan MacMillan. If he is our 'star' player next year and gets his 'Diva on' I might go back to not liking him. My mind works in weird ways.

Also ...sometimes I think Logan MacMillan looks like Shia Labeouf. I don't know if that is good or bad.

...and the Volts just keep getting hotter
I think the Volts scout and draft by appearance. They run their team like I would run a team - draft that kid, I like his name and he is as cute as 1000 puppies in a basket made of kitten skins. Damn, that team consistently churns out hottie, after hottie, after hottie. That is not the bunny in me speaking, that is fact - take those boys out of hockey gear and they are still cute. How the fuck do they do it? Oh, me and my Volt coloured glasses. Drummondville are about to get 1000 x hotter in the goaltending department with the addition of Antoine Tardif (to be received at the draft for the Paris/Fréchette/Dyke trade at Christmas). Oh, how I wanted Tardif here. I figured maybe we could finagle a trade ...but then I realized that we would break him, so he is better off with the Volts. Tardif has been out of the Bathurst lineup for the majority of the second half because he has been suffering with pain from an ankle injury (with torn ligaments) which occurred in late January. It turns out that Antoine will require arthroscopic surgery for his ankle. Let's hope he has a speedy recovery. This is me throwing air kisses to Antoine's ankle.

Trades and the draft:
If rumour is true, The Mooseheads have made the dumbest trade in trade history. They supposedly agreed to trade 'unsung hero' PJ Corsi (getter of 28 points since Jan 1st) at the draft for enforcer David Bouchard (3 point getter since Jan 1st). Both boys are 19: PJ is a keeper - he is hitty and gritty; David is a sleeper - he will not be in the Q next year. So when all is said and done Drummondville gets two 4th round draft picks, one for 2008, and one for 2009 (do we get one back?) and an excellent 20 year old for the 2008-2009 season. We get a penalty prone enforcer who is more a liability because of his reputation, for half of a season.

We also supposedly traded first round rookie pick David Gilbert, a second round pick in 2008, and one of our top two defensemen - Guillaume Monast (at the draft), all for Maxime Sauve...only so we could turn around and give up Sauve and another 1000 draft picks for the next bajillion years only to land Brad Marchand for half a season.

Maxime is 18 and is expected to be an NHL first round draft pick this year. He also played on a lower tier team and yet statistically for the second half of the regular season:

Maxime "les sourcils" Sauve - 6 PIM
29 games 14 goals 17 assists = 31 pts

Brad Marchand - 40 PIM
26 games 10 goals 19 assists = 29 pts

They say hindsight is 20:20, but I personally had a ton of foresight this season...I said in October "the last thing we need is another Centre". However, to think of all that we gave up for Marchand (it has been said over and over again by EVERYBODY, so there is no need to rehash it)...at least Sauve was less of a liability and he could have brought some 'future game' and awesome 'eyebrow power'.

Anyway, wasn't I talking about Monast....let's get back to him. Now don't get me wrong, we can only have 3 twenty year old players, and I like Yeti, I like Andrew White, I like GrahamBo, but from a purely cold and calculated GM standpoint...who would you rather have: Corsi or White? Monast or Bona? Either Corsi or Monast over Yetman? Why were Monast and Corsi traded? Ce n'est pas difficile à comprendre.

Do not turn this around on me and say my Marchand argument should also apply to this...the 'go for the better player theory'. The point is that at the time we did not need him and we gave away everything to get him. Next year we will need good experienced players and we have left ourselves with only 3 guys who have played more than 4th line ice time, nor do we have the best possible group of 20 year olds. We do not have a single returning player who is statistically >1 PPG for last season. Only 3 are greater than 0.5 PPG. At least I can say that some of the possible returning 20 year olds have character and are grittastic.

Simon Després:
There is a Simon Després fanclub page on facebook. There are pictures of Baby Simon with his Baby Hockey trophies. He is tooooo adorable. Why does he make me want children? I hate children! But I like Baby Simon Després just like I like Baby Steve Mason. Baby hockey players - collect them all. I will have to create a rift in the space time continuum so that I can feed cookies to both Baby Simon and teenage Simon simultaneously. I seriously hope the Penguins don't try to get their grubby hands on him in the 2009 draft.

Dear Andrew White,
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It really does! My brain might not belong to you but my heart sure does. You are my favorite now! I might try to scratch you behind the ears because puppies like that and you are so good at ice-puppy tricks.

Are you being a carpenter again this summer? Ohhh, you are so useful outside of the arena. If we were friends we could drink beer and discuss the Scandinavian aesthetics upon which our line of birdhouses and squirrel houses would be based. We could then go out, get really drunk, and make fun of everybody. In my drunken stupor I might try to pet you. Then we'd head home to catch the third period of some West coast hockey, only to pass out together on the sofa and wake up confused and really hungover with our feet in each other's faces. I would make you coffee and waffles for breakfast and it would be delicious. Wait...you would build me a bird house right?
Love
Q-girl

Two down...

So two teams are in and two teams are out. I have already mentioned that the Saint John sea Dogs have used a sexy goalie, a smart blond French kid, a saucy boy from Sydney and some awesome eyebrow power to defeat the PEI Rocket, but I did not mention that Rouyn-Noranda have swept the Val d’Or Foreurs. This leaves Maxime Sauve free to join me for spa days and girling about town. What fun times.

I have made a bad photoshop image of what a Rouyn-Noranda/Val d’Or game would look like. Where PJ Corsi would have been I have put in Cote. Nothing is more amusing than absolutely horrid photoshop work…no wait…everything is more amusing than absolutely horrid photoshop work. Just ignore the fact that Cote is huge and also ignore all the people wearing Mooseheads jerseys in the background. Now forget that Val d'Or ever existed because for our purposes they have just become irrelevant. This is the last you will see of them or of D'Orso and his crazy eyebrows and douchey chinstrap beard. What? Gougeon has even doucheier facial hair? Damn.

The Mooseheads played the fool last night, losing 3-1 to the Victoriaville Tigres despite Victo having lost two of their top forwards – Tanguay and Cacciotti. The Moose are so Jekyll and Hyde. Did you see that BBC program Jekyll? That show was great. I do not like it so much, however, when the Moose play Mr Hyde. Not only that but our top defenseman Andrew Bodnarchuk has been suspended for tonight’s game due to a hit to the head on one of the Tigres. Everybody knows Andrew is way too short to hit anyone in the head.

Maybe the loss of Andrew B. means we will be more cautious and play a safer game. Not only that but Cam Russell has finally taken to penalizing the players by sitting them out for a couple of shifts for doing stupid things like taking selfish penalties. It is maybe a little too late for that…maybe he should have started doing this to players in …I don’t know….let’s say Sept/Oct. I am as bewildered as the next Moosefan.

I have no idea how tonight’s game is going to go down. Will the forwards show up? Maybe tonight Yeti will wear new cologne and the defensemen will be all aroused and distracted. I do not want to be in the same situation the Titan are in right now and having to play a third game away from home with the series tied 2-2. The simple fact that we outscored this team 17 -3 in our first two games means that we can be a totally dominating team when we want to be. It is just that sometimes we are thinking about girls and spring flowers and new wardrobes and what is going to happen on “Days of our Lives” or who will be kicked out next on America's Next Top Model; or if we are Bryce Swan we are thinking about milk and mini-pizzas (don’t ask)…we will never know. I wanted this done in 4, I will settle for this being done in 5. I will start throwing feces like a rabid monkey or an angry hamster if this goes to 6. Not that I mind getting some more games at home…it is just…well isn’t it obvious.

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Elsewhere:

Cape Breton are leading Lewiston 3 games to 1. Jonathan Bernier has still not shaven off the stupid moustache. Game photos can bee seen at Ron ‘s Sports Photography site. Jon is also getting all scrappy again and sitting on people. Jon says “if you want to be in my crease bitch - you can stay in my crease. I am never going to let you leave. I will sit on you, I will mock fuck you, I will push you down and make you lick the paint”. Please, people stay the hell out of Jon’s crease. For an example of how mean Jon can be see around 2:08:20 in Wednesday night’s archived game when Chouinard ends up in Bernier’s crease.

The Titan are tied 2-2 in their series with the Fog Devils. Game three is in Newfoundland and the Devils maintain their home ice advantage and hopefully their little hot streak. Q-girl does not want to be mean to the Titan, but the Titan scare the shit out of me, so the sooner they go the better. The Moose can beat the Titan, but the Titan use Jedi Mind Trix on the Moose to make them think that they cannot beat the Titan….which is why we always lose to the Titan; and sometimes when the Titan and the people of Bathurst combine their Mind Trix then the Titan blow us out of the water. To say I would rather the Moose face the Fog Devils is an understatement. Sure the extensive travel will be grueling (especially two series in a row) but we have Pender and Yetman and White and Randell to act as ambassadors and sometimes translators to the good people of NFLD.

What Roy did totally got into the head of Nadeau. Quebec are now leading Chicoutimi in the series 3 games to 1. Bobby has been pulled within the first period of the last two games: once for letting in 3/10 and the next game for letting in 2/4.

Rimouski is leading Baie Comeau 2-1. Damn and snap. If I had to face anyone in the finals I would have preferred BC. We have had no problems at all with BC this year. You throw a few rabid squirrels at Cousineau and he cowers in his net like a baby. He is terrified of squirrels....or at least I presume – someone please throw a squirrel at him just to test my theory. Now we have the Moose arch nemesis (and my secret lover) Keven Veilleux teaching the people of BC valuable lessons about the weaknesses of some of their players. I know he is a Penguin draft pick – and so if and when he actually makes the Penguins I will dump him like the sleazy MF that he is. I really, really, hate the Penguins despite actually loving real penguins.

Gatineau is currently leading Shawinigan 3-1. This never would have happened if Roger Kennedy had not left the Cataractes for his own selfish purposes. Oh no wait, what I meant to say was that the children of Shawinigan would not get hit by cars because they would have seen public service announcements about crosswalk safety starring Roger Kennedy, had Roger Kennedy not left for his own selfish purposes. That has nothing to do with his play in nets. I hope no children are hit by cars this playoff season. I hope they do not see Claude Giroux in their town, mistake him for a squirrel and run out into the street hoping to catch him all for the purpose of throwing him at Marco Cousineau like I had requested. Although if the children of Shawinigan do that, and take squirrels home and keep him in a little cage until they can use him as a targeted rodent missile against Cousineau, then maybe their team may actually stand a chance of winning.

Tigre Hunting in la Belle province

Moose will be playing the Tigre tonight at 7:30 eastern time (8:30 Atlantic time). According to Wuest the Tigre have lost forward Maxime Tanguay for the rest of the series due to a hamstring injury. However previously injured Steven Cacciotti who missed the first two games of the playoffs should be back in the game tonight. Once again Kevin Poulin is expected to start in nets for the Tigres.

In other Mooseheads news you can check these articles from the Herald:
Moose take show on road

and the Metro:
Mooseheads' Killers dominate
Moose look to finish off Tigres
which I particularly like because they interview Yetty/Yeti and the Booing is mentioned:

"While fans are watching via webcast, there isn’t as much intense scrutiny on the road — and there is no risk of being booed, which has been known to happen in Moose Country.

“We’re just a bit looser,” Yetman said. “We can play our game.”

...and so to all the assholes who spent the entire year insulting our goalies and booing our goalies, did you ever think that every time these boys step on the ice they have that nagging fear in the back of their head that says "is today the day I get booed?" Do you not think it affects their performance?

As of right now the Fog devils are winning 5-1 after the second. Go Fog Devils. Champion let in 5 goals in just over 20 minutes but we all know there was no way in hell the Titan were going to pull him and put Szostak in. Has Szostak even ever played a game in the Q? I think the only game Champion has not played since he took over as the Titan starter was a game in which they called up Brad Dyke. I know what you are thinking, you are thinking "who the hell is Szostak?" - exactly. Even Lewiston was kind enough to play Rafuse because they are smart enough to know that the guy sitting on the bench is supposed to be used for something...and not just decoration, or to be thrown into the net in the event of injury to your #1 (Champion is technically #2), in which case he may be incredibly rusty after 3 months on a bench.

Saint John is currently leading PEI 5-2. I have finally seen Fully in all of his dyed hair and beard glory. David Connell has posted pictures from the Sea Dogs awards night. Fully has Biron eyes - so very blue. I think 90 % of the Sea Dogs have blue eyes, and Simon has the best eyebrows I have ever seen. I am running away with Simon Despres, Steve Mason, Maxime Sauve, Zach Boychuk and Antoine Tardif for a spa day and eyebrow styling session, then Mason will show us which is the best lipgloss shade for our skin tones. Steve Mason totally uses lip gloss. Then we will retire for a sleepover party with a horror film, hot chocolate, pillow fights and the first girl to fall asleep will get her bra put in the freezer, oops I mean boy- and jock strap.

Dogs are good at playing catch up (and fetch)

Oh Saint John
I wanted you to do well for the sake of your 'tender (like maybe a 2-1 loss in regulation) but I did not want you to actually win. It was warm and toasty all alone up here at the top, with the sun shining on only the Moose. Now we have to share our mountain with 22 other guys and it is getting crowded. The 1 point difference between us feels a bit too risqué for a good Irish Catholic girl like myself. Leave it to Fullerton to make me feel all dirty.

The Saint John Sea Dogs defeated the Val d'Or Foreurs with a 3-2 decision in the shootout.
Some pics are already available at the Foreurs website.

Travis Fullerton turned aside 36/38 shots, while Raffaele D'Orso blocked 38/40 in regulation /OT combined. Powerplays were split 1/4 for each team. I watched part of the first and second periods (en Francais) and saw some pretty nice blocks by both Fullerton and D'Orso - the shiniest bauble being a stop by Fullerton about 10-12 minutes into the second where Fully's legs were splayed across the top of the crease while simultaneously making an awesome glove save. uhhhhhhgggggg drool. Then I got all hot and bothered and had to take a cold shower.

All silliness aside - I am confused about the awarding of Stars

1.VDO - D'Orso, Raffaele
2.VDO - Sauve, Maxime
3. SNB - Liske, Payton

Maxime Sauvé got the only goal in the shootout for Val d'Or as well as an unassisted goal early in the 3rd to give Val d'Or the lead.
Christopher DiDomenico and Payton Liske got the goals in the shootout for Saint John. Liske got the tying goal in the third with an assist from Despres.
More details are available at QMJHL.

So it makes sense to give Sauve and Liske stars, but why D'Orso, and why did he get first star when his save % was only marginally better than Fullerton's (0.95 vs 0.947) and Fullerton was the winning goaltender. What is up?

I am not saying that Raf did not deserve the star, as I did not see the whole game. Nor am I denying him stars because I am bitter about being stood up by D'Orso earlier this season. I even watched him in the QMJHL Canada Russia challenge on November19th (Oy ...that rebound) and that was after he stood me up for our date at the Metro Centre on Nov 10th. Seeing a goalie do his thing live is so much better than on TV though (and way better than on Telus live feeds), which is why I will accept another date next season when he comes calling.

I want to like D'Orso for all the silly reasons a girl could like a goalie:
1) He is small like a Toskala, or a Marty #3 (Turco)
2) He plays a hybrid style...which is more entertaining than butterfly
2) He is from the community of St. Leonard, Montreal...land of Brodeur and Luongo
3) Openly admits to liking Brodeur. Brodeur is an obvious choice for favorite goalie, which is why I think no one else will admit to liking him.
4) He can make the douche-y chinstrap facial hair work
5) He has unilateral control over his eyebrows.
6) He lifts his mask a lot.

If someone knows why D'Orso deserved 1st star please let me know.

If someone has found a cure for my eyebrow fetish could they also let me know - i talk about eyebrows A LOT.

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Elsewhere:
The Q scoring race got a huge jump today when the Acadie-Bathurst Titan faced the Gatineau Olympiques for a 5/4 OT decision (in favour of Gat) at the Centre Robert-Guertin.

League points leader and Washington draft pick Mathieu Perreault (ABT) had 2 goals and 1 assist and close runner up - Squirrels Giroux (Gat/Phi) had 4 assists.

The point leaders are as follows:
Mathieu Perreault (ABT) - 101 (59 GP)
Claude Giroux (Gat) - 97 (51 GP)
Jakub Voracek (Hal) - 96 (48 GP)
Francis Pare (Chi) - 94 (64 GP)
Dean Ouellet (Cap) - 92 (65 GP)

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Baie-Comeau defeated Chicoutimi 4-2 to regain the top spot in the Telus and are the top seeded team overall with 92 points (65- 43, 16, 2, 4). The top seed is a scary merry-go-round that I would rather not have to ride on a day-to-day basis. Let's just say it is always either Baie-Comeau or Rouyn-Noranda and leave it at that, unless something drastic happens, or at least until the season ends on March 16.

Damn you Titan

Horray, the Sea Dogs are losing. Booo, the Titan are winning. Why is the live video feed down? This sucks.

While the Sea Dogs are technically 'the enemy' that we have to worry about right now, they have a fair number of players that I actually like: Fullerton, Després, Sauvé. I would hate for such nice young boys to walk away from a game with hurt feelings. Not only that, but the Sea Dogs have nice loyal fans. Good for them.

As I write this the game is ending. DAMN, shots were 40 to 18 in favour of the Titan in a 7-1 loss for the Dogs. Sea Dogs - you got spanked, kicked, and licked...and it wasn't even me doing the spanking or licking. Shame.

The Titan, on the other hand, are ensconced with asshole. I don't know that much about the Titan players, but I do know this about the Titan:
1) They had a fire sale during the last trade period
2) They got a new coach
3) Some combo of the above made them suddenly, and magically, hot as hell
4) During the winter trade period they got some of the Ds we could have used
5) They are based in Bathurst, and no one likes Bathurst
6) Mathieu Perreault's play must have been ignited by a spark at about the time of the fire sale, because damn... he had a point in 27 consecutive games, a streak which ended on Feb 15th... and already a new points-streak has begun.
7) Antoine Tardif has nice eyebrows. This little goalie 'got broked' and has gone missing. If you find him please let me know, I MUST ask him who does his brows.


8) Nicholas Champion is rocking it for such an inexperienced little back-up goalie.

9) They have literally 1000 back-up to the back-up goalies, none of which actually gets to play.
10) One of those back-ups to the back-up, Brad Dyke likes to chew on the neck of his jersey while he is sitting at the bench. This is called 'sweater munching'. I noticed this sweater munching when he was in Halifax while playing with Drummondville. I watch goalies A LOT, and as such I notice many of their weird quirks.
11) Their offense seems to actually be capable of making up for their sometimes shakey defense/goalkeeping (unlike some teams I know).
12) They have a small but vocal group of fans which act like huge assholes (hence the ensconcing).

...and so a loss for them is a kick in the teeth to these fans.

I really want them to start losing.
I hope the losing can begin this Sunday, 2:00 pm, at the Halifax Metro Centre.