Ein Augustinerbrau, bitte.

Dearest Konrad

We must celebrate. A toast to Germany. Proust!

Q-girl

Re. the Euro draft

Ok that was a start. The blog has been a little slow going because I am out of province. I am currently in Igloolik Nunavut on a rationed internet feed. It is about 3100 km from Halifax to Igloolik. It is about 5550 km to Bad Tolz Germany, home of our new Euro draft pick Konrad Abeltshauser. Thus I am still closer than Konrad.

Mr Abeltshauser is a bold new departure for the Moose. Really, like, he is not Czech! When was the last time my team had a non-Czech Euro?

The Moose picked Abeltshauser with the 28^th overall pick, which they received from Cape Breton in a little trade.

I have been in discussions with my German friend, and future wife of Steve Lund (the game worn jersey gives her dibs) CG, and am now convinced that the Mooseheads have picked Abeltshauser, a Bavarian, for the sole purpose of wooing her back to Halifax. If she has a favorite thing in hockey it is 6’3” defencemen; and if she has a favorite thing in men it is tall Bavarians who can handle their Bier.

If you need to know more just read Matthew Wuest’s blog post. Ohhh it has an updated depth chart. I will file that in my brain under “stupid things I need to know”. It is right up there with “if glia of the fruitfly cannot engage in endocytosis, that fly will die with in 3 days”.

Perhaps I will nickname him " the kaiser". I have to go practice my German now.

Re. The NHL draft:

I am very disappointed by the NHL for failing to recognize talent where they see it. Olivier Roy – 5^th round…and to Edmonton. Bah humbug! Sorry kiddo.

…and really New Jersey! Ashton Bernard! I should dump your ass for that one.

Unfortunately, Gabe (the First) got passed over, even though he has more skills than just fighting. Often boys get passed over and their true potential is not realized until they are older. People who watch Jr hockey once a year (you know, at New Years) have no clue what is really available out there. They hear stuff, but they don’t know what these kids actually play like. Then they pretend they know because they read a few scouting reports. Hooey! Sometimes there is bandwagoning for or against a player. That is also hooey.

Often boys get passed over and it doesn’t even mean they were a "slow developer". Nicola Riopel was never slow, he was simply just not favored. He is good, but his team is good defensively and so maybe people doubted him because of it. Philly made a good, albeit boring, choice with Riopel. I mean, he is no Emery or Biron or Hextall, but he is serviceable and would likely make a good husband. There is something decidedly un-Philly like about this pick. They made up for it by acquiring Pronger and Emery. I guess they wanted a little sweet to go with their sour.

I am pissed at Pittsburg for once again selecting one of my favorite players in the Q by choosing Simon Despres with the 30^th overall pick. My boyfriend has recommended that I should just be a scout for Pittsburgh since they take all of my favorite fucking players. How the hell am I supposed to hate them when / if they have Talbot, Letang, Despres, Veilleux, and Grant (and maybe just maybe Zach Sill) on their roster. I didn’t always hate MAF you know! There was a time….before he was a Penguin. I swear to God! The Penguin’s scouts are reading my blog and plotting their next move against me.

ZOMG! - Video

The NHL has draft videos. How is it that I gave birth to Simon Despres but I don't remember the birth or even raising him? Why doesn't he eat the cookies I make him?

Oh.... just watch the videos...

SIMON DESPRES


CHARLES-OLIVIER ROUSSEL


PHILIPPE PARADIS



Oh yes. Hedman is there looking all big and dreamy, but he is not in the Q, therefor he is none of my business.

A perfect opportunity for sexual harassment

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I know...hobo!!!

Two day after the game I am finally writing to say that the Mooseheads lost to the Screaming Eagles by a score of 7-3. See. Not much to say about the game except that it started out like hooray and ended up like neigh. For more info check out Matthew Wuest's most recent blog post.

My Say:
Did nobody tell the team that we are supposed to split the season with Cape Breton? Look-it: 2007-2008, 2006-2007, 2005-2006. Now that is officially impossible, the Eagles have won 5 of 8... and yet the very fabric of the universe has not folded in upon itself. Huh, funny that!

Why the fuck was an injured Yetman put in with 13:43 left in the game? The Moose were already down 6-3, it is not like the boys were going to be able to pull it all together and suddenly get three goals in 13 minutes. It is not like Corbeil was going to feel any less shame upon getting pulled. It is not like Yetman is invincible - and it is totally stupid to put him in a situation where he can re-aggravate his groin injury. You have heard of Roberto Luongo, right? Shit happens, and this can only be likened to the coaches plopping Yetman down into the middle of a cow field. I can feel my fists of fury starting to tingle.


Mo' news:

1) There is a Simon Despres article at Sportsnet. I demand that you love my imaginarily adopted Sea Dog child. Love him.

"I don't like to watch the rankings," Després acknowledged. "If you think it's too easy, you're going to stop working hard."

Després certainly doesn't need a lesson in hard work. "A student of the game, he's always trying to make himself better," his coach said.

Proof of that is evident in practice as Després is not only the first one on the ice but often one of the last off it.

"I like fresh ice," he said sheepishly.

2) Trades are on. PEI are making moves, having already traded Neiderer and Malouin. You can keep track of trade shenanigans at the Q website. This should be a happy time of year but it can be a hard time of year for some of these boys, what with the stress of moving, getting used to new teams, new systems, new schools and making new friends. I wish all the boys well in their new homes and success with their new teams.

Monday Updates: Not Hot

Since it is Moose related, let me first take the time to point out that the Halifax Mooseheads are COLD, at least according to Sportsnet's Who's Hot, Who's not list. No matter how many Moose I pile in my bed, no matter how many blankets I put atop us, no matter how high I crank the heat...we just can't warm up.

Cold team: Halifax Mooseheads
The Mooseheads managed just a single point in four road contests last week as their losing streak has now hit six games. Halifax sits in last place in the Atlantic Division, a position they will be hard-pressed to vacate as the season goes on. The Mooseheads are among the league’s worst at scoring goals and preventing them.

Don't worry though, Cam says you played good. I can't wait for us to trade Logan and maybe Knotek or Cheremetiev. Then we will be true cellar dwellers...and then Val d'Or will kiss us all over for having given them our awesome first round pick. I hope they send D'Orso to give us those kisses.


QMJHL nods:
The QMJHL have announced their offensive and defensive players of the week. FOr the second week in a row Drummondville Voltigeurs forward Yannick Riendeau was given Offensive honours, for his 3 goals and four assists in three games.

The defensive player of the week is Simon Despres (hooray). What I find funny is that defensemen never win defensive player for being good defensively...they win for being good offensively. You should be able to win for being a shut-down machine.

Simon Després is the award winner on defense. The Sea Dogs’ defenseman played a key role in three Saint John wins, registering one goal and five assists. He contributed balanced scoring with two points in each contest. Després was also a healthy +3. He will be in uniform for both ADT Canada-Russia contests this week.

I have not been loving my secret lovers

Oh Sea Dogs, I know I have wronged you, but it is hard to get my love on with you when half of the lineup and most of your über huge defencemen are missing. Are we all back together now? Good!

Now stop being lazy-ass hobos and start winning games. I hope you took the time you had off this week to recoup, get your head away from your NHL systems, back onto your QMJHL systems and start playing some damn hockey. You know what I am talking about! I am talking about this:
2:1 loss against Shawinigan (acceptable)
5:4 loss against Victoriaville (unacceptable)
6:3 loss against Montreal (prepare that ass for a paddling)
5:2 loss against Cape Breton (Get me David Bouchard - I have a prison that will hire him as a guard)

Dudes you have a 7, 2 and 5 record - WTF? You lost to the Titan. You are tied with Halifax in points (4pts) for 4th place in the Atlantic and we TOTALLY SUCK because we are in a rebuilding year. You, however, you have no excuses (except that a good chunk of your team were away at NHL camps...but not during that last hideous road trip).


Four QMJHL teams have cracked the CHL top 10 rankings and YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM:

1. Windsor Spitfires (4-0-0-0)
2. Moncton Wildcats (6-0-0-0)
3. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles (6-1-0-0)
4. Swift Current Broncos (4-0-0-0)
5. Guelph Storm (4-0-0-0)
6. Spokane Chiefs (3-1-0-0)
7. Drummondville Voltigeurs (5-0-0-1)
8. Vancouver Giants (4-0-0-1)
9. Belleville Bulls (2-1-0-0)
10. Shawinigan Cataractes (5-2-0-0)


Robert Mayer. Tsk Tsk. You get a three year contract with the Habs and THIS is what you come back to junior to do. A 0.783 save % game against Montreal. "Oh, I have tightness in my calf - it hurts, Boo HOO". I thought you were stretchy invincible - like a rubberman who feels no pain, and now you want to go and play that 'I am only human' card with me. I call shenanigans!!! Why don't you just hand Jake Allen the QMJHL defensive player of the week award. Oh he has already won it - very good. Carry On. At least he doesn't have an NHL Contract yet? What, he's working on it? Oi!

Next thing I know they will be telling me that you personally delivered that defensive player of the month award to Nicola Riopel, goaltender for the Moncton Wildcats. You know him, he was that other QMJHL goalie at Habs training camp, the one who DID NOT earn a three year contract.


Maybe all you need is the leadership of your captain, Alex Grant, who has been recovering from a concussion since leaving Penguins Training camp (damn you Penguins). According to Sea Dogs beat reporter Nathan White at the Telegraph Journal, Captain Alex will be back in action tonight.

"It's great. He's our captain, our leader and the face of the franchise," said Ryan Sparling, the only player besides Grant remaining from the original 2005-06 Sea Dogs. "Besides being a great friend of mine, he's someone everybody looks up to for leadership and his on-ice abilities."

The Dogs hope he can provide a lift after they dropped three straight on the road to run their losing streak to four, the longest since a five-game slide in February 2007.

"It feels good (having Grant back on the ice)," said Beaulieu. "When you're missing your captain, your leader, it's tough for everybody. We had a really hard weekend with guys coming in and out (as other players returned from NHL camps). I found it difficult as a coach."

I must say, I do still love me some Simon Despres. I have batch after batch of uneaten cookies just building up in my kitchen. Won't someone send Simon here to eat these cookies. He broke a kid (Michael Bournival) in Shawinigan - literally broke him with a hit. Once again, it is the Telegraph Journal / Nathan White that has published a new article profiling Simon Despres. Let's just say that the first lines go something like this:

The Saint John Sea Dogs have been riding a horse through the early stages of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League season. Rather, they've been riding the young man they call "Horse."

Giddy-up Simon, giddy-up.



You want me to learn more about the Titan and their roadtrip, and the fact that my Titan boyfriend Tomy Joly had two assists in a win over the 'Piques (and Gellidonuts totally got pulled). They even have a Tomy Joly feature article published in The Northern Light - purrrr.

"In the room, he is a quiet leader, but he leads by example on the ice," he said. "Tomy is an excellent two way player and he finishes his checks...You can't have a nicer kid. He's a nice quiet kid off the ice. You want to raise your kids the way he was raised. He's a very pleasant young man, always in a good mood and very easy to talk to."

I never noticed Tomy doing the two way thing, mostly when I watch the Titan I just see some guys faking injury, then red; or Tomy getting too many goals against my team because he is an offensive powerhouse...and more red. The Moose have a wretched history of loss against the Titan.

Maybe someone just wants me to see that their newspaper has a picture of my new baby goalie boyfriend MCT.

...and what about the Wildcats, their new OHL free agent pick up Matt Lahey and their new 'too many overagers problem', their massive abundance of first round picks, the fact that they are damn near perfect, and the fact that they may face their toughest challenge yet this season in the Shawinigan Cataractes this Friday.

I care not for the Titan or The Wildcats. These are not my secret lovers. I am no skank. Though I must say I love the New Brunswick newspapers. Dudes...I want news coverage like this for my team.

edit - I got a Justin Pender Story from the Chronicle Herald. wheeee.
edit 2 - ugh. The Sea Dogs lost again ...and they had some roster changes. Last years third goaltender Troy Passingham was released. I need to be paying more attention to my Sea Dogs lovers...they need love right now. Lots of it.

Simon's quest

When Simon Despres was chosen to play for team Canada at the Memorial of Ivan Hlinka tournament, you just knew that he was going to immediately get a phone call from someone at the Saint John Newspaper the Telegraph Journal, and be forced to talk about it...and you KNOW that the Sea Dogs have already updated their website to brag about it. You also knew that being the crazy Simon lover that I am that I was going to post some of that story here in an attempt to make the whole world fall in love with him before they ever get to meet him. Don't worry, you will get to meet him next year at the NHL draft.


Here is a snippit from the Telegraph Journal article by Nathan White:

"I don't even realize I'm going to Europe tomorrow yet," Despres said by phone after being given the news and a bag of Team Canada apparel Tuesday evening. "I've never been overseas yet, I can't wait."

The six-foot-four, 210-pound rearguard said he started slowly when camp opened Saturday, but he felt he improved as camp went on.

"I didn't get to play with hitting competition in the summer (so) to get back into it was hard. "First practice, my skates were very sharp, I was always falling on the ice and my helmet was too small," said Despres, who prefers a duller skate blade. "I was questioning myself a little bit, but I knew it was going to come. I just played my game, a simple game, and didn't try to do too much."

...Team Canada head coach Bill Peters, who mans the bench for the Memorial Cup champion Spokane Chiefs of the WHL, has Despres penciled in as a top-four defenceman.

"He likes to join the rush and has offensive upside for sure. I consider him one of our defenceman who's going to play on the power play," Peters said. "I thought Simon got better as the week went along. He came in and was a big-body guy who moves really well and caught our attention right away."

Are you in love yet? He is 6'4", he is excited, he is falling down and he has a helmet that doesn't fit...these are the makings of the kind of boy you want to call your own and feed cookies to. There are more details available at the QMJHL website.

*edit - TSN has now begun their coverage of the Ivan Hlinka tournament. They have a video profiling the players. As of this moment I cannot get it to work, but the error may be fixed by TSN later today.

That dog has a puffy tail.

Hockey Canada News:
In the final scrimmage of the Canada under 18 prospect camp team Red defeated team White 5:3 to go undefeated in the tournament. Guess what else exciting happened today? Ol' Man Randell (Halifax Mooseheads) got a goal - wooooohoooo. If I was there I would have cheered just like that, or I would have given him golf claps because my Ol' Man and I are classy, classy people.

Steven Anthony of the Saint John Sea Dogs had an assist for team Red. With the close of their training camp Hockey Canada has decided which 22 players will be on the roster for the 2008 Memorial of Ivan Hlinka tournament. Sadly, neither of our Q goalies made the cut. If either Olivier or Maxime need cookies and a shoulder to cry on they know where they can find me.


This is where I go mental:
So who did make it? Sadly, not many of our Q boys survived the cut. Only two remain, one of which is my 'imaginary' and possibly impossible gigantic offspring Simon Bellavance-Despres (Sea Dogs), who is listed on Hockey Canada's website at 6'4", 210lbs (although a recent article in the Telegraph Journal put him at 6'3", 215lbs) . Awwww is my baby still growing? I will settle for nothing less than 6'5"!!! Every day he makes it more and more difficult for me to re-wombinate him.

I can picture myself as one of those crazy hockey parents. He probably made the team because my "other personality" called and threatened to kill someone from the selection committee. Simon's parents still have not signed any legal change of guardianship papers for me - what up Mrs Bellavance and Mr Despres?

I tells y'all - look at baby Simon - LOOK AT HIM - LOVE HIM (that is an order)!!! Now look at quasi- grown up Simon and his awesome eyebrows. Now, get in your kitchen and bake them both cookies - we must celebrate!!! Wait, did I just set the women's movement back 30 years? Does it help if I tell you that I will likely never marry, have real children or share a joint bank account?

Defenceman Hubert Labrie (Gatineau) also managed to get selected. It is quite unusual for two defencemen from the Q to be selected for an international tournament and yet we contribute no goalies or forwards - especially when we are a league known for the awesome power of our goalies and forwards.

____________________________________

The NHL has a few more prospects write-ups including a report for Buffalo featuring defencemen TJ Brennan (Fog Devils/ Montreal Jr) and former PEI Rocketeer Marc-Andre Gragnani. The Dallas Stars prospect report features import defenceman Ivan Vishnevskiy of the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies.

NHL.com also have another feature on Jakub Voracek. It reads basically the same as the article from 'the hockeyscene' that I posted a few days ago and it is written by the same author.

In things I have just recently discovered news: former Quebec Remparts goaltender Kevin Desfosses was invited to the Ottawa Senators development camp, where the boys learned how to cook (now we know what was wrong with Ottawa this season). That camp was in June, thus I am a mental hobo and not very good at my fictional job of stalking goaltenders. Evidence that Desfosses was in Ottawa is available here.

Other Q News and Links

Antoine Tardif has been feeling fine. The former Bathurst goaltender, who was injured early in January and underwent ankle surgery during the offseason to correct a torn ligament, has gotten back on his skates. Tardif was officially traded to the Volts just prior to the QMJHL draft, and has recently been on ice practicing with Marco Marciano, goaltending coach of the Drummondville Voltigeurs.

Sadly, Marco's tenure with the QMHJL is almost at an end. Marco, former goaltending coach of the Screaming Eagles, and present coach with the Volts, will be joining hockey Canada before the start of next season.

The Tigres are turning me on. The La Nouvelle/ L'Union has posted some video from Victoriaville Tigres goaltending training sessions. There is more info on the Tigres goaltending situation here. I could watch goalies all day. I could honestly just sit there watching them deflecting puck after puck into the corner. Dear GOD it is so HAWT. The video even features a weird variation on the goalie mating dance - going into the butterfly and some lateral movement exercises.

I am all frisky now. Where is Travis Fullerton? I need satisfaction! I need him, his cross crease wiggle, and his naughty moustache right now! YOU *spank* ARE *spank* SUCH *spank* A *spank* NAUGHTY *spank* NAUGHTY *spank* NAUGHTY *spank* BOY *spank*. No, thinking about him totally did not help ease the frisk...it just made it worse.

Speaking of Sea Dogs, now that the Canadian IIHF under 20 training camp is complete it is time for the under 18 camp to begin. Sea Dogs Simon Despres and Steven Anthony are invited. According to an article published today in the Telegraph Journal, my favorite little-big defenceman Simon Despres (whom I want to kidnap in an attempt to re-wombinate him) now has 215 lbs on his 6'3" frame. This will make for exceptionally difficult re-wombinating considering that I am only 5'1 and 105 lbs. 17 year old Centreman Steven Anthony is currently weighing in at 208 lbs and is 6'2".

Did you notice that I have an extreme fascination with boys that are at least 1 foot taller than me? I just thought I would point that out. The taller the better!

The fanatical musings of a fanatical (fill in the blank)

Is it horrible that there are players on our 2007/2008 team that I don't like? I mean I really, really dislike them. Am I a bad person? There is probably no real reason that I do not like them...I just don't get the attraction to them, and some of them were very popular. Sometimes I assign shifty personalities to players, thinking some may be more arrogant than others, while with others I embrace their shifty ways. If a player is good on the Penalty kill I usually like them, I totally embrace those that can backcheck.

So it is true that when I said "I love all 25 of you" - I lied.

Graham Bona
I like underdogs. Sometimes I hate how certain players got away with a lot of shit while others were repeatedly torn down by fans when they made the same mistakes as our 'stars'. The harder people come down on certain players the more I like them - for example Bona (and also Monast). I know he is a hometown boy (while I am generally an anti-homer), and that by being a hometown boy some people will like him just because... but some people could also be really harsh with him. Not me though - I would be all over Bona with a bucket of ice cream and spoon. I really like GrahamBo. Graham is a defensive defenseman, and one can make a good living just staying at home - ask Colin White.

At first our fans complained that our defense was not defensive enough (it really was a huge problem). Then when the defense finally decided to step it up, they complained that the defense was not offensive enough, and that there was no one to QB the powerplay. But...maybe we did have another defenseman to QB the powerplay - but there was no way in hell our coaches were taking Jake off of the point, and that was that. During the final game of the season against Saint John we had neither Voracek nor Bodnarchuk to play the point on the PP, and all three of our goals were scored on the PP, with our PP efficiency at 50%. Clearly some of the other guys could get the job done.

Anyway my point is: when you have a team which is loaded with offense for depth in scoring and then complain because on a roster with 9 defenseman, where we have two purely defensive defensemen, that those defenseman are just not getting it done for your offense, may I suggest you go to your bathroom - look in the mirror and tell yourself to fuck off.

Logan MacMillan
I used to not like Logan - I never understood why he was drafted to the NHL first round. Then he got injured and his production went down - way down. Now he is fighting tooth and nail for every scrap he can get his hands on (even though he was given the privilege of top line ice time). Sometimes he is literally fighting. He is also wonderfully defensive. I now love Logan MacMillan. If he is our 'star' player next year and gets his 'Diva on' I might go back to not liking him. My mind works in weird ways.

Also ...sometimes I think Logan MacMillan looks like Shia Labeouf. I don't know if that is good or bad.

...and the Volts just keep getting hotter
I think the Volts scout and draft by appearance. They run their team like I would run a team - draft that kid, I like his name and he is as cute as 1000 puppies in a basket made of kitten skins. Damn, that team consistently churns out hottie, after hottie, after hottie. That is not the bunny in me speaking, that is fact - take those boys out of hockey gear and they are still cute. How the fuck do they do it? Oh, me and my Volt coloured glasses. Drummondville are about to get 1000 x hotter in the goaltending department with the addition of Antoine Tardif (to be received at the draft for the Paris/Fréchette/Dyke trade at Christmas). Oh, how I wanted Tardif here. I figured maybe we could finagle a trade ...but then I realized that we would break him, so he is better off with the Volts. Tardif has been out of the Bathurst lineup for the majority of the second half because he has been suffering with pain from an ankle injury (with torn ligaments) which occurred in late January. It turns out that Antoine will require arthroscopic surgery for his ankle. Let's hope he has a speedy recovery. This is me throwing air kisses to Antoine's ankle.

Trades and the draft:
If rumour is true, The Mooseheads have made the dumbest trade in trade history. They supposedly agreed to trade 'unsung hero' PJ Corsi (getter of 28 points since Jan 1st) at the draft for enforcer David Bouchard (3 point getter since Jan 1st). Both boys are 19: PJ is a keeper - he is hitty and gritty; David is a sleeper - he will not be in the Q next year. So when all is said and done Drummondville gets two 4th round draft picks, one for 2008, and one for 2009 (do we get one back?) and an excellent 20 year old for the 2008-2009 season. We get a penalty prone enforcer who is more a liability because of his reputation, for half of a season.

We also supposedly traded first round rookie pick David Gilbert, a second round pick in 2008, and one of our top two defensemen - Guillaume Monast (at the draft), all for Maxime Sauve...only so we could turn around and give up Sauve and another 1000 draft picks for the next bajillion years only to land Brad Marchand for half a season.

Maxime is 18 and is expected to be an NHL first round draft pick this year. He also played on a lower tier team and yet statistically for the second half of the regular season:

Maxime "les sourcils" Sauve - 6 PIM
29 games 14 goals 17 assists = 31 pts

Brad Marchand - 40 PIM
26 games 10 goals 19 assists = 29 pts

They say hindsight is 20:20, but I personally had a ton of foresight this season...I said in October "the last thing we need is another Centre". However, to think of all that we gave up for Marchand (it has been said over and over again by EVERYBODY, so there is no need to rehash it)...at least Sauve was less of a liability and he could have brought some 'future game' and awesome 'eyebrow power'.

Anyway, wasn't I talking about Monast....let's get back to him. Now don't get me wrong, we can only have 3 twenty year old players, and I like Yeti, I like Andrew White, I like GrahamBo, but from a purely cold and calculated GM standpoint...who would you rather have: Corsi or White? Monast or Bona? Either Corsi or Monast over Yetman? Why were Monast and Corsi traded? Ce n'est pas difficile à comprendre.

Do not turn this around on me and say my Marchand argument should also apply to this...the 'go for the better player theory'. The point is that at the time we did not need him and we gave away everything to get him. Next year we will need good experienced players and we have left ourselves with only 3 guys who have played more than 4th line ice time, nor do we have the best possible group of 20 year olds. We do not have a single returning player who is statistically >1 PPG for last season. Only 3 are greater than 0.5 PPG. At least I can say that some of the possible returning 20 year olds have character and are grittastic.

Simon Després:
There is a Simon Després fanclub page on facebook. There are pictures of Baby Simon with his Baby Hockey trophies. He is tooooo adorable. Why does he make me want children? I hate children! But I like Baby Simon Després just like I like Baby Steve Mason. Baby hockey players - collect them all. I will have to create a rift in the space time continuum so that I can feed cookies to both Baby Simon and teenage Simon simultaneously. I seriously hope the Penguins don't try to get their grubby hands on him in the 2009 draft.

Dear Andrew White,
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It really does! My brain might not belong to you but my heart sure does. You are my favorite now! I might try to scratch you behind the ears because puppies like that and you are so good at ice-puppy tricks.

Are you being a carpenter again this summer? Ohhh, you are so useful outside of the arena. If we were friends we could drink beer and discuss the Scandinavian aesthetics upon which our line of birdhouses and squirrel houses would be based. We could then go out, get really drunk, and make fun of everybody. In my drunken stupor I might try to pet you. Then we'd head home to catch the third period of some West coast hockey, only to pass out together on the sofa and wake up confused and really hungover with our feet in each other's faces. I would make you coffee and waffles for breakfast and it would be delicious. Wait...you would build me a bird house right?
Love
Q-girl

Castlevania II

Simon:
This is your quest - tomorrow you face the Acadie-Bathurst Titan and you must protect your goalie. You have done very well for yourself this year with your 14 points, minimal penalty minutes (30) and +18 rating. I know you are just a baby defenseman but I am entrusting this in part to you, because if you can do it, then surely the boys who are older and more experienced than you can also get it done. Right? You should set the bar and the older equally giant boys on your team will have to match or surpass it.

I have a lot of confidence in Travis Fullerton's ability to stop pucks, he is far better than Champion. The Titan defense aren't even all that scary. Your team has been a good match for them all year - 4 wins, 4 losses (which is better than I can say for the Moose vs the Titan). In the four games Fully has played against the Titan he has been credited with three wins, one loss. You can get this done with Travis between the pipes. I have a weird, eerie faith in you.

You are not scared of the Titan are you: Perreault, Joly, Masse, Jezegou, Laberge etc.. How could you be? The average height of forwards on the Titan is 3 ft. I am bigger than most of those guys. Just don't let them scoot between your legs. Small guys are sneaky like that.

Look at you...you are a giant, and you are too adorable. When I see a mini daschund I laugh and clap like a fool. I have the same response when I see you.

Simon Després makes me want giant pre-raised children.

Can I adopt you? I know that I am too young to be your mother but that is irrelevant. I make a killer almond cookie. What is your favorite kind of cookie? I am going to start baking them right now. Oh, you also like spaghetti and meatballs, that one is easy. How about I make you both? If you help your team win round two by pushing around that pesky Titan offense I will bake you all the cookies you can eat. I promise.

I have to get back to my team now, but I am currently looking into filing all the appropriate adoption papers with the governments of Quebec and Nova Scotia. If your mom would like, we can have shared custody, but I want visitation for one of the major holidays and at least every third weekend.

Your new mother
Q-girl

________________________________________
News from around the Q:

Rimouski Oceanic gets the 2009 Memorial cup

Halifax Mooseheads:
Mooseheads-Eagles will be a true animal battle
Spotlight on Goalies

Cape Breton Screaming Eagles:
Eagles' Slaney, Roy, Vincent win major awards

I know...a Newf living in Cape Breton won the award for smartest kid in the Q. I also hear spooky music playing in the background....and have now entered the twilight zone.

MAINEiacs:
MAINEiacs bid adieu

Moncton Wildcats:
Cats Captain is top Humanitarian

Saint John:
First line of Defense
Titan, Sea Dogs set for battle

St John's Fog Devils:
To Russia with Glove

Hooray for Jake Allen, who will be playing for Canada's world under 18 team