Monday updates...What do you mean it's already Wednesday?

Ugh yeah. Please excuse my absence. We will just pretend I was too busy rolling around in the sack trying to complete the worlds longest goalie-snog-a-thon to be bothered writing a post. We made it into Guiness my babies.

Lazyness dictates a point form blog post:

1) Nicola Riopel did not participate in my snog-a-thon as he was too busy stopping pucks for the Moncton Wildcats in his attempt to be the QMJHL defensive player of the week. He was successful. He also remains satisifyingly STD free. Not only is he the QMJHL player of the week but he is also the CHL goaltender of the week. Nicola played out the week with a 3-0-0-0 record, 0.971 save % and a 1.0 GAA. "Riopel leads all QMJHL goaltenders with 13 wins and three shutouts. He also has a league best goals-against-average of 1.41, and save percentage of .950 in 14 games." God, I have GOT to get on that wagon. What am I thinking? I mean look at this? LOOK AT IT.

2) Did you know that Jonathan Roy of the Quebec Remparts remains unbeaten this season? WTF. Once upon a time I was having a conversation about my dreamy Guardiens and mourning the loss of bad-boy Travis Fullerton from the league (I like bad boys), when I was reminded that the baddest boy remaining in the Q is none other than J. Roy. My argument against him was that he sucked. Well guess who ain't sucking anymore. 0.945 and a 1.60 - that's like... naughty-sex worthy.

Secret Lovers:

3) The Sea Dog's Captain, Alex Grant, has signed an entry level contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Grant is also the only Nova Scotian player to be participating in the Canada-Russia Challenge. Oh and the Sea Dogs also made an Alex Grant Bobble head doll. I can't believe they are making bobble heads. I want Mooseheads bobble heads. Bobby Smith...please hire the Sea Dogs promotions guy.

4) Alex also finally has some permanent A's to hang with, since Kirky, Sparling and Stich were named alternate captains (and just in time for me to see them in their As - meow ...tomorrow my sweet, secret, Sea Dog lovers).

Boyfriends:

5) If you have been living in a hole, or alternately have stuck your head in a hole because our team is such a disaster that you do not actually want to know what shitty thing has just transpired...well too bad You are about to find out. Our 'superstar' Logan MacMillan has gone and done in his knee for the next 2-4 weeks by supposedly banging it into a goalpost. I presume he was trying to hump Mark Yetman and the goalpost got in the way. As the lowest-scoring team in the league it always helps when one of your best point getters, shut-down master and trade-baitiest player gets injured just before a showcase event like the Canada-Russia Challenge.

6) Also, 19 year old rookie defenceman RD Chisholm has been released from the Mooseheads. Of the 16 regular season games played so far, RD was let out of the pressbox for only 6. He was a -4 for the season. Oh Ronald Duncan, I barely knew thee. Isn't it funny that RD was the guy released when he was actually the guy we called up for the playoffs last year and deemed worthy to play a post-season game after Richie Greer (who) had spent all season sitting in the press box just awaiting his turn. The Mooseheads now have 8 defencemen and 15 forwards on the current roster...having dropped Chisholm to make a space for that big ol' sniper Matt Boland. You do recognize sarcasm when you read it right? Good. My audience is not stoopid.

7) I sometimes wonder how we decide to pick our 'extra players' (ouija board) since we seem to aquire only sub-sub-sub-par players from other teams. The Sea Dogs go to the OHL and are able to pick up some pretty good rejects. We don't do that... but I wonder if team management has ever though to look into picking up players from teams that are a bit too deep. Teams that have players in their system that are good enough to play QMJHL hockey, but there is just no space for them on the current roster (which btw is usually less than 25 players). Players, that had they been drafted by another team, would be playing in the Q right now. Players like- oh, I don't know, hmmm, Tyler Noseworthy. I know he is not a scoring machine...but I'm just saying. Come on, we are in love (we may not actually be in love); just get me what I want, please. I can beg. Don't make me beg!!! I would go so far as to give Patenaude kisses if he can bring forth my unrequited love and put him into the ol' red, green (sometimes black) and white.

8) For shits and giggles I suggest you check out the new hockey-lover's mock dating website Zamboni Harmony, which is run by Heather of the Spokane Chief's blog - Wrap Around Curl and Lori of the Penguin's blog - Hockey, Football and Stiletto Shoes. Yours truely will not be putting her dirty mind to good use for Zamboni Harmony- I already know what I want.

9) UNB will be playing Saint Mary's at SMU this Sunday (while the Moose simultaneously take on the Olympiques). I will be skipping the Moose to see both an angel and a demon. The Demon, being a creature forged by the sexy hand of Satan himself (and object of all of my goalie related desires), will likely sit on a bench for 2.5-3 hours and yawn. I will also be watching a creature so amazing that he symbolizes everything that is good in this world: like butterflies, puppies, unicorns and foie-gras (shut up, it is f'n delicious). Oh Andrew White *sighs*, I miss you.