It's not that I don't like you...

...I'm just kinda busy.

Admittedly, I have been negligent. Today I am stuck on a microscope, and while it scans my preps I have nothing to do in my downtime but proofread my paper for the publishers (blech) OR blog (hooray?).
 I choose to blog. I am about 7 days too late and this is a quickie, so you'll have to excuse the mess (spelling and grammar wise).

Tonight the Mooseheads will be in Quebec city to take on Delmas' OTHER old team, the Quebec Remparts, and their new fluffy adorable netminder LBD. No offence to LBD, but I hope the Moose can challenge him tonight...and win (big disillusioned dreams, I know).

Last weekend the Mooseheads took on the Bathurst Titan and the PEI Rocket in two really hard fought games. They lost both of them but managed to walk away with a point from the PEI game, which went into a shootout. Let me explain in more detail.

Halifax Mooseheads vs Bathurst Titan (Loss 2-1)
The game started wonderfully with a Mooseheads goal by Charles Bety only a minute into the game. However after that, the Mooseheads took shot after shot but they couldn't score. They made Lacerte look so awesome (except they really didn't...but statistically they did) that he was even nominated for the QMJHL defensive player of the week award.

Delmas was good but the first goal he allowed was a total snoozer because he lost sight of the puck. Other than that he had to play a much better game than Lacerte. I think I am starting to fall for Delmas.


The other positive note was the penalty kill. The Moose managed to kill off 8 penalties including two long 5 on 3s. Hannay spent the entire time just sitting in the box looking pretty (pretty toothless), which really wasn't helping matters.

At some point Paul Dimitruk was pensive and he thought "why doesn't Q-girl ever pay attention to me". In order to get my attention he pretended he had a puck in his pants (for the purposes of looking like he had a bigger schlong? - someone knows how to get my attention!). It pretty much fooled everyone because for a good length of time a couple of guys stood around him staring while he fidgeted with his pants in front of the Bathurst net. Just behind him a couple of other guys were playing hockey - Yes, they had the puck.

I don't pay attention to Paul because I have been paying attention to Jessyko Bernard. He has been so awesome lately. *Le sigh.* I just had to say it.

With under a minute left in the game Bathurst was able to score. It destroyed my spirits. I hate Bathurst so much. This is another case of Mission NOT Accomplished. If the Mooseheads do not defeat Bathurst at least once this season there may be mass fan suicide.

Abeltshauser and Bety were awarded with stars of the game but cookies go to young Mr. Bradley MacDonald for his shot blocking. Kisses go to Sawyer Hannay's missing tooth. No, I don't want to put my tongue in the hole where his tooth was.  The smile that could light up a thousand rooms is gone.


Halifax Mooseheads vs PEI Rocket (Loss 2-1, shootout)
This game marked the appearance of a cup on the ice...or something that looked like a cup on the ice. How a cup falls out of a boy's jock strap mid game I will never know. I personally think it was just another ploy to get my attention and to remind me that boys have junk. My boyfriend is not amused. Nor is Jessyko, who had his goal, the only Mooseheads goal,  upstaged by a cup.

May I recommend that Jessyko give the rest of the group a lesson on one-timers during the next practice?

The game went into shootout and the shootout went to the 9th round before PEI got their second goal. Gerrad Grant had the only shootout goal for the Mooseheads. I was mildly pissed because I watched a parade of boys go to the net (squee - Jessyko was #2) but Charles Bety was not one of them. I think that maybe Bety has a little more finesse than some of the pluggers who got a chance.

Cookies go to Mathieu Corbeil for having an absolute stunner of a game. Back with a vengeance? I know Mathieu prabably wants to throw those cookies back at me and say "bitch these are stale", but I made them Wednesday while I was listening to the Maineiacs game...which went long and then I was stuck in the kitchen with nothing to do but wash the dishes. I am so angry about the dish washing.

So the point of this story is, yes, I do actually make too many real cookies. Now I need someone to help me eat them. They are chocolate chip and pecan...but I made the mistake of too much whole wheat flour and they have "textural issues". Oh, and I am also happy that the Mooseheads got a point but I would have been happier if they got three points last weekend. Have I told you lately how much I HATE Bathurst?

Halifax Mooseheads vs Lewiston MAINEiacs (Mooseheads win 6-5, in shootout)
Apparently Lewiston had started the scoring but the Moose kept managing to tie it up. It was 1-1 coming out of the first and 3-3 coming out of the second, which is when I tuned into the game.

The Moose finally pulled ahead in the third and were up 5-3 with under 10 minutes remaining in the game.
Moosehead goals were by Randell, Grant, Bernard, Clarke and Gelinas. After this they started to fuck with me by allowing a Lewiston goal with about 6 minutes reamining on the clock, and thus inviting me to mumble under my breath "don't you dare" while smuggling spoonfuls of butter and 2 kinds of sugar into my mouth (mmmm pre-cookie dough).

They dared!

Lewiston tied it up and brought it into OT with 1.7 seconds left on the clock. The Mooseheads had an empty net on the other end for over a minute. OVER A MINUTE! May I suggest the next drill that the boys do in practice is shoot at empty nets.

The Moose finally took it in the shootout when Knotek and Grant were both able to score, while Lewiston went 0/2. 

Props to the power play which went 3/5. Cookies go to Garrett Clarke for having a bazillion points (1G, 2A) and NO penalties.

A week's worth of News links:
Wuest:
Moose lose: 'We should have had that one' (vs Titan)
Clarke: 'He has it coming for him'  
Moose lose another heartbreaker (vs PEI)
Clarke sticks it to Maineiacs (vs, well, duh)
Road trip takes Herd to Quebec 

Chronical herald:
Mooseheads claim shootout victory  (vs Lewiston)
Moose struggling to score (vs PEI)
Titan edge Moose (vs Bathurst) 
Moose trying new line combos  

...and Travis Randell is interviewed in feces Faces Magazine for January.

tsk tsk tsk

Once upon a time the Shawinigan Chretiens had H1N1 and they never made it to the Halifax Metro Center to play the Mooseheads. Then last night, they arrived and the Mooseheads fans must not have known because the building was EMPTY. The Mooseheads may also not have known because they basically never showed up either.

Fine, I admit it. The Moose were in the game up until the third period when Wiggles got that penalty and Shawinigan scored to make it 4-2. The Moose ultimately lost 5-2 because of an empty net goal. I had considered giving Wiggles cookies for his first ever QMJHL goal (Knotek got the other) and because he is a growing boy and he needs energy...but I can't forgive him for the penalty (that probably wasn't a penalty) that landed him in the box and resulted in a Shawinigan goal. It stole all of the team's remaining motivation

Despite being in it up until the third period the Moose didn't look like they weren't really trying. I know it and they know it:

"We didn't play the way we're capable of and we're disappointed in it," said defenceman Pascal Amyot afterward.

"After two wins we thought it was going to go well for us; that’s what it looked like," said Mooseheads captain Tomas Knotek. "But without effort it won’t (happen)."

#10. I TOLD YOU. Didn't I tell you!!!

The fans weren't trying either. We were either asleep or dead. Some kid dressed up a subway box in a Carl Gelinas jersey. Does that count as fan support? Wiggles secretly blames us for the loss:

The culprit for the slow start might have been the small crowd, which probably took a hit because it was a make-up game (originally postponed in November) and a rare Tuesday-nighter.

"We do notice the crowd, but we've got to generate that energy on our own," Wigginton said.

Last night wasn't really Travis Randell's night. He was bad on the point and he was bad at the net. Maybe he's just thrown off his game now that he knows that I know that he likes older ladies. You're not alone Randell, I think it is a Newfie thing.

It wasn't Corbeil's night either. If I was still PMSing he would be in soooo much trouble for the first period.  Lucky for him I am not. Silent treatment! Moving on...

It also wasn't Hannay's or Bety's night. Hannay received a puck to the face (NO NOT THE FACE) and Bety also had a stick (?) puck all up in his mug. It was horrible but I can't say that I wasn't amused by the way he gracefully slid and twirled towards to bench while crouched over on his knees in excruciating pain. Hannay probably received a puck to the face because the "anti-pedophilia gods" were trying to punish me. I had been admiring his smile a little too thoroughly when he was chirping away at the Shawinigan players just before the end-of-second-period buzzer.  When he is up to no good he wears the most delightfully evil grin.

Cookies go to the 'disgusted' face that Gerrad Grant made when they put him on the big screen. They put Grant on the screen just after he fed Randell that perfect pass in front of a practically empty net and Randell shot the puck at the only two inches that was covered by M.A. Gelinas. Thanks to Grant for emoting how we all felt. Maybe the face was not in response to Randell's lead hands, but I would like to think that it was.

Other news:
1) Brent Andrews is the Mooseheads' Scholastic player for the Month of December

Brent has demonstrated consistent work ethic in regards to his studies. He is both responsible and responsive to the demands of his teachers and has continued to priorize his school perormance (I think they mean prioritize his school performance). At 16, as the youngest grade 12 student, Brent has achieved excellent grades.

2) Peter Delmas will be on inside the Q tonight

3) TSN interviews Louis Domingue (or babyLBD as he is known around these parts) about the elbow heard around the world.


News links:
Wuest - Moose 'disappointed' after tough loss
Palov - Moose winning streak ends 
*quotes are from the above articles

gone dark

Yeah, sorry about that. At first I swore I would not blog until I had dealt with pressing real-life issues. Those were dealt with by last Wednesday so I really have no excuse for not blogging about the last two games in a timely manner. Needless to say, not having to write anything for a whole week was like a dreamy dream. Fuck the English language.

So, I guess I should get to it.

Mooseheads vs Montreal Jr (Moose lose 4-1)
Well, the first period was exciting. When the team allowed 4 goals in the second period I gave up on life. Sitting through the third period just felt like torture because of the sense of complete helplessness. It must be how my cat feels when I force her to cuddle me. I never want to experience that again. Can you do that for me my sweet, darling mooselets?

Cookies to Grant for the only goal in what felt like the longest stretch of goallessness in the history of hockey.  Cookies are for eating, not for hiding in your underware.


Mooseheads vs Screagles (Moose lose 2-0)
Despite the fact that the team were shutout, this game was decidedly less painful. Games against the Screagles are always delightful and scrappy...even when there is no actual scrapping. Cookies are to be shared between Bety and Bernard for coming out in this game with full force, and new goalie Delmas for decreasing my sense of hopelessness with his >0.9% sv%. There is a chance for you yet Delmas, but remember: cookies are for eating, not for hiding down your pants.

PS J.Bernard. We are soooo back on. I was going to give you a choice about it but then I realized we never talked...so how could you let me know? You can't!!! I have made an executive decision for us. If I catch you sexy dancing for Alex MacDonald I will rip his mullet weave out...unless, of course, I can have you both.

Mooseheads vs Wildcats (Moose lose 3-0)
In a homage to the loss of Baby LBD I did not pay attention to this game. How dare LBD leave me to go to Quebec? The only benefit of this move was our acquisition of Delmas...Oh, and the fact that LBD gets to work with Roy. I just don't think he was taking my feeling into consideration. ...and to think that I cooed for his wearing of white belts and shoes (yes, gentle readers, he goes all Frenchy style on us too). 

Twenty-five shots on goal and yet, nothing. I blame Nicola Riopel. He probably shouldn't be in this league.

Cookies go to me because I have a tendency to drown my sorrows in food.

Mooseheads vs Sagueneens (Moose win 5-1)
Ah now that is more like it. Randall's one timer was a thing of pure beauty. Who knew that anybody on this team could 'one-time' it. Sometimes, as a group of intelligent, deep thinking and gentle boys, my moosies spend far too much time coddling the puck with their stick and contemplating their next move. Pucks are for shooting, not for coddling... and definitely not for putting down your pants in an attempt to look like you have a bigger schlong.

Pucks were getting all up in the Sags' net. The Mooseheads had 5 goals (Randell, Bernard, Gelinas, MacDonald and Andrews) in 40 shots and boys were driving the net to get those rebounds.  Amazeballs. Why can't they do this every night?

It's as easy as that!

With the Sags came a return to winning and the second coming of Alexis Piette (the first, of course, being his visit with the Lewiston Maineiacs before being traded to the Sags at X-mas). At some point Alexis played an excellent game of keep-away, scooting around the entire perimeter of our zone with the puck, and at that moment I desperately wanted him back. It's not just for the eyebrows.

Cookies go to MacDonald and Bernard. MacDonald had his first goal as a Moosehead, which is always something to be celebrated with abundant overeating and a few beer. Of course I am terribly selfish and I demand more goals. Immediately if possible. Yes Jessyko, cookies are for storing in your pants but only if I can...

Mooseheads vs Voltigeurs (Moose win 2-1)
Bitches. The Volts stole Delmas' shutout with just over 3 minutes left in the game. Peter Delmas stopped 35 shots on his way to a win over the league powerhouse Drummondville Voltigeurs (33-13-0-2). It was brilliant.

Abeltshauser (big slapshot from the point) and Amyot both got their goals on the powerplay. Knotek, Bernard, Gelinas and Andrews had assists.

Jake Allen was in nets for the Volts, playing what was his 3rd game in  a row. Why they felt the need to play him against one of the worst teams in the league is beyond me? I was tempted to throw Allan off his game by holding up a big sign that just said "SILVER" on it, but I had no bristle board and I had not thought of this in advance of the game. It turns out that it was not necessary to be so mean and the Mooseheads could defeat the Volts without my help.

To say that the final three minutes was stressful is an understatement. The Moose had lost their 2 goal cushion and spent the last minute playing 6-4 after taking a penalty for too many men on the ice. The defensive effort was staggering and I was desperately hoping one of the boys could thoroughly crush the Volts' spirits with an empty net goal but everyone knows that empty net goals are really not part of the Mooseheads' skill set.

Dear Peter Delmas,
Congratulations on your QMJHL defensive player of the week award. In two games you recorded two wins and had a 1.0 GAA and a 0.964 sv%.  I would lick cookie crumbs off your taint for that. Please, don't tell your mother I offered... and for God's* sake don't tell my mother either. What do you mean, you don't read my blog? You should get on that boy!
xxxooo
Q-girl

News links
Palov - Another upset win for Moose

Wuest - Mooseheads pull off major upset 

* God = Martin Brodeur 

mass distributers

So busy.
...and in my off time - so lazy.

As a result there will be mass distribution of cookies: Gerrad Grant for his goal on Friday vs. the Wildcats, Jordan Costello for his first ever goal as a Moosehead in the game against PEI on Saturday, and Spencer Metcalfe  for his rocking fight in tonight's the game against the Moncton Wildcats.

A few things to note:

The Moose lost 6-5 against PEI but it was a snappy affair with the Moose earning a single point as this was an overtime loss. The reffing sucked, but it likely sucked in both team's favours. So many soft calls. However, that unsportsman like penalty against Desjardins was total bullshit. You can't even site "the Avery rule" as precedent on that one. I am a major proponent and possible creator of the "goalies above all others" movement, but even I think that was a BS call. I am not a big fan of the penalty in OT that cost us the game either.

Tonight the Moose were slaughtered by the Moncton Wildcats. Final score 6-1. Tomas Knotek had the lone Moosehads goal (assisted by Grant and Gillard). This is Tomas's last game with the team as he heads out tomorrow to join his Czech teammates for the World Junior Championship tryout camp. We will see how hot Randell and Grant are without him. Who will join them on the top line? Oh the suspense!

So we lost, again. Corbeil had another (seemingly) bad game. 6 goals on 29 shots can never really be considered good. What to say? All I can think of are the immortal words of Kodos

"...but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom victory." This, of course, does not involve spin-o-ramas. I had enough of those in April '08 to last me a lifetime.

Gerrad Grant is on a 7 game point streak. Oh, the things he can do with those hands! (which is probably why you should be careful about shaking them).

The team now have a facebook page. It is filled with amazing things like action shots, team photos (OK, admittedly those are often less than amazing. In fact they are often sub-par) and GOAL VIDEOS.

oh ...and there is this :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::
NO! REALLY!! CLICK THIS LINK!!!

Gabe's jersey is up for auction starting tomorrow. You only have until this Friday to bid. If someone got it for me I would finally concede and accept a Christmas gift even though I am a major Scrooge and I do not celebrate Christmas as I despise all things Christmas (except the food, eggnog, and drunken merriment).

Have you ever wonder what happened to Steve Lund? Did you ever watch a game and think - that boy sure is a drama queen? Wonder no more. Steve is currently attending Vancouver Film School. See, there is life after hockey (and concussions).

Cross – Vancouver Film School (VFS)
Uploaded by VancouverFilmSchool. - Arts and animation videos.

Short handed...empty net...crap

The mooseheads lost to the Drummondville Voltigeurs 5-3. I will technically take that as a 4-3 since the volts got their 5th on a short handed empty netter with 3 seconds remaining in the game. Just so Couturier knows....that does not officially count as a hattie. Not in my books.

I was out. All I really know is the box score.
Charles Bety and Gerrad Grant (x2) were the goal scorers for Halifax.

Moose were balls considering that this was a last place team playing an upper tier team. BALLS.

Jessyko and I have broken up. I hope he feels unburdened now.

1,2,3,4 tell me that you love me more

After a 12 game losing streak the Halifax Mooseheads have come back with a four game winning home stand. Yes FOUR wins. Last night the Moose defeated the Baie Comeau Drakkar by a score of 4-1. Four wins, four goals and FOUR fights last night.

I don't want to write a big blog post. It is already too late for that. Newspapers have done their job.


Some small things:

• Konrad Abeltshauser and Garrett Clarke will each be out for over a week with knee injuries.
• If anyone else checks Gillard from behind again I will personally kill them. I can be far more vicious than Spencer Metcalfe. Ok that is a lie, but I bet you any money I can give that pretty little Olsson girl a hard bitch slap and make him her cry.
  
• Gerrad Grant needs to take his cloths off more often. May I suggest he not wear underarmour next time. Skinny is good. Girls like skinny, or at least they prefer skinny to over muscled meat-heads. Because Gerry couldn't follow up Friday night's 1G,1A performance with more goals he opted for fighting. It's like a Gordie Howe hat trick- but extended over 2 games.
  
• Goals were by Knotek, Bety and Gelinas (x2)
• Assists were by Bahm (x2), Stoddard, Andrews, Brunet, and Dimitruk
• Game stars were Gelinas (1), Bety (2), and Knotek (3)
• Mathieu Corbeil had another good performance making 32 saves on 33 shots for the win. The only Drakkar goal was on the power play.
• Fights were by Metcalfe (perfectly normal behavior), Hannay (take me now), Grant (what the?... oooooh striptease), and Gelinas (or dear God have mercy on his little face).
• Hannay has AMAZING eyebrows.
• I am not bitter about Stoddard anymore.
  

The team is currently participating in a giant orgy of verbal fellating. Everybody is sooooo in love with each other and that's what makes it OK (and no one is getting used- this is what we tell our moms).

I mean check out these quotes from the past two days:

Metcalfe on the team - “We were talking about it in the room, we needed to have a good start and we did. Everyone played solid and everyone was confident.”

Dimitruk on the team - “That’s a hell of a hockey team, the Moncton Wildcats. They’re probably one of the most complete teams we’ll see all year … And that’s a testament to our work ethic that we beat them.”

Dimitruk on Corbeil - “He’s playing unbelievable. He’s bailed us out time after time. We’re absolutely riding on his back right now. He’s playing fantastic and I can’t say enough about his work ethic.”

Randell on my skills with men - "That feels unbelievable"*
Corbeil concurs - "It feels great"

Bety on Corbeil - "We’re winning because we’re working hard and Mathieu is also really helping us. He’s been playing really well since last week. We’re all very happy for him. And when he is playing like that, it is more comfortable for the rest of us. He is a big (reason) we are winning right now."

Corbeil on team - "Everyone kept working hard and everyone’s really happy now".

Randell on Corbeil - "With the goaltending we’re getting from Matt, if he keeps it up we’re going to have a chance to win every single night no matter what."


Quotes stolen from the following news links:
Palov - Moose win fourth straight
Moose shock Wildcats

Wuest - Moose top Drakkar for fourth straight win
Herd keeps rolling with win over Wildcats

Other news:
Casey - Mooseheads make it a perfect homestand


* actually he was talking about winning 4 in a row.

Tit slapped

Arrrrrg the Titan. Don't they make you just want to give up boobs all together and become an ass man? Yeah, I thought as much.

Last night the Mooseheads took on the Acadie-Bathurst Titan at the K-C Irving regional centre in Bathurst and lost by a score of 4-2.

Julien Tremblay had the first goal for the Titan while captain Eric Faille had a hattie. Mooseheads goals were by Knotek (mmmmm comfortingly familiar PP goal) and Alex Lemiex (hoooray someone else got a goal). Stoddard (finally) and Desjardins assisted on the Lemieux goal while Gerrad Grant had an assist on the Knotek goal. This extends Grant's point steak and makes it the longest point-streak in the league with points in 11 games...and he only has one hand. What will he be able to do with TWO hands?

Ok this is crazy - we currently have a boy with the pointiest point-streak in the league and can't win a game. Grant needs some sort of reward for his suffering. Would kisses with lots of tongue suffice?

Spankings to Joel Grondin for getting pulled halfway through the game after allowing 3 goals on 14 shots. I still heart goalies though, which is why I must remind Grondin that not all spankings need be bad. Some are sexy. Between the two goaltenders the Titan had 4 goals on 26 shots, only 5 of which were dangerous. The Moose were only able to get 2 goals on 39 shots thanks to the painfully above-acceptable goaltending of Nic Champion (who was 2nd star of the game and the league's defensive player of the month for September)

The good:

• Keeping the Tits down to only 5 dangerous shots
• Boys other than Randell/Knotek/Grant getting points
• Randell's game high 6 shots on nets and 3rd star of the game honours
• Fights by Bahm and Metcalfe
• Being 1-1 after 1.

The bad:

• Faceoffs. No boy was able to dominate the faceoffs (Randell and Bernard don't count). Andrews' 8 losses in 10 was especially bad
• MacDonald sits out again
• Grondin lets in 3 goals on 2 dangerous shots. That must mean he let in a softie. The only soft thing I will allow my goalies to have is hair. Soft, fluffy, pre-game hair.
• No hits for Hannay. Maybe he is not my studmuffin!

The Cheremetiev factor:
So the Titan now have Yuri listed as being on their roster - but they spelled his name wrong: Cherementiev. Good start.

Yuri was not playing with the Titan last night because of some paperwork stuff. He will be driving up to Bathurst with his dad today (awwwww).

As you may already know he was recently traded - Yuri and a 5th in 2011 for the Titan's 3rd in 2011. According to Palov should Cheremetiev, A KHL draft pick, stay with the Titan past January 10th the Mooseheads will receive their 5th round pick back.

If Yuri leaves the Tits (as apparently everyone does because no one wants to live in Bathurst) this means that he had less value than Renaud, Stinziani, Leduc, Stich (like no duh)* etc. I kinda thought the addition of the 5th was strange because I would have thought that Yuri was worth more. I began to think that maybe his value went down as the market for 20's dried up. That, and his slow start to the season.

Bah, I have a whole Yuri related post inside of me just waiting to be written.

Also, Yuri, please don't fuck us over. xxxooo.


News links:
Wuest
Grant extends streak in Mooseheads' loss

Palov
Faille nets hat trick, sending Mooseheads to 8th straight loss
Moosehead finalize Cheremetiev trade

__________________________________________
*Stich is worth 1000 puppies, a fountain of youth, 1 of Patrick Roy's pubes, Chris Pronger's soul (rights currently held by Satan) and at least a 2nd round draft pick. He only got shafted because he is a Euro.

Action Action Satisfaction

Last night the Halifax Mooseheads lost to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies 4-3 in the shootout. Losing was pretty much the only bad thing about this game.

It was probably the best game I have seen all season (I was also the most drunk I have been all season). The game had hits galore, fights galore, and action galore. It was missing pussy galore but I am sure, as hockey players, the boys get enough of that.

Seeing Gabe O'Connor made me really miss Gabe O'Connor. Even in a Huskies jersey he remains totally studmuffinly. I have yet to apply the term studmuffin to any of our new defencemen...or old defencemen. Is the problem mine or theirs?

For real hockey analysis see the links at the end of the page. Gillard was the boy thrown out to the press wolves, so if you want more Gillard in your life then click the damn links.

So about today's post - well I was drunk last night - so I don't remember many details. I remember feelings. Feelings and goal videos. My overall mood was happiness with a side of friskiness (and we can't blame any Mooseheads for that, it was totally due to my boyfriend's pre-game actions).


Goals:
Gerrrad Grant had the first goal of the game. I love goals by boys at home because they mean I get as-of-yet-unseen goal videos. I should have recorded Grant's goal video - it is a classic.

Congrats to Gabe Desjardins on his first goal of the season. Now keep it up. I want more (I know I am selfish). Gabe had a "call me" goal video, and I would indeed accept a call from him, but his goal video was not as swanky as Andrew White's "call me" goal video. I am still waiting on that call from Whitey.

Give cookies to: Jessyko Bernard for his non-power play goal. It would have been a game winner had the huskies not tied it up with 30 seconds remaining and their net empty. Jessyko knows that I keep cookies on the top shelf and he is one of the few boys tall enough to reach them. I heard that ding as the puck bounced off the crossbar and into the net. I love that sound.

Bonus points to Bety for assisting on both the Bernard and Desjardins goals. Jessyko please give one cookie each to Grant, Desjardins and Bety. I would suggest you give a cookie to Knotek but everybody already knows he is good - hence all those stars he has been accumulating.

Monster in the Nets:
Thanks for the wink.

Corbeil stopped 36 of 39 shots put on net for a whopping 0.923 sv%. I have requested that Jessyko give Mathieu 45% of his cookies. I decided against giving him cookies because he got one of those golden Macaroni stars which are handed out at the end of the game; he also earned my 'baby Steve Mason award' for hard work and endurance. It includes a digital picture of Baby Steve Mason for motivation...and not much else. I also request that Mathieu share 20 % of his cookies with Baby Steve Mason.

I have lots of boyfriends with the surname MacDonald:
Alex MacDonald was a healthy scratch again. This pisses me off more than you would ever know. Why was Alex considered good enough (mmmm safe and steady) last year and a dud this year after he played a whopping 4 games? Last year everyone wanted him to develop and said he would become a good young defenceman and then suddenly he is not even given the chance to play.

He had better be sitting out because he has a severe case of the secret cooties, because we all know that you don't get better sitting in the press box. Technically speaking he is still a young man - only 18, and so he still has time to 'up' his game. I thought the Moose were going to rotate players more this year - they are not. The same boys sit out game after game.

I know you probably think I am being a fool but we all know that I get extremely defensive over my irrationally chosen boyfriends. If I want to defend him because he was the tall, charming boy who handed me my season tickets then so be it.

I also would like to know why when one boy makes a mistake it is OK with the Mooseheads fans but should another boy make the same mistake then it is like he has shot the fucking queen.


Shootouts:
Last year Yuri Cheremetiev was 1/8 in the shootout. Knotek was 2/8, Grant was 1/3, Bety was 1/2, Bernard was 1/2, and Desjardins was 0/1. Piette never had a shootout chance (crazy, I know) and now he does not belong to us.

When the shootout came I knew it was going to be Knotek, Grant and a third. This is very easy to predict. I had mentally (and verbally) suggested Gelinas, then magically I had received Gelinas. Knotek - no goal, Grant - no goal, Gelinas - GOAL... and he was the only one to score in the shootout.

Tied 1/1 and going on the 4th shooter. I then would have recommended Bety (or Bernard or Desjardins) but noooooo the motherfucker (Cam, I presume) put in Cheremetiev and he failed to score. He did the same low shot along the ice that he always does when he is trying to deke the goalie. Dude, if I have you figured out don't you think the people who actually play hockey have also figured you out.

NO MORE CHEREMETIEV IN THE SHOOTOUT PLZ. In his QMJHL career he is 2/10. If we know he can't really succeed then try to give someone else a chance. I am tired of watching the same boys try and then fail. Let someone else fail for a change.

Yuri, please bake a batch of cookies for Gelinas.


News links:
Wuest - From grinder to ‘superstar’ - a Travis Randell Story.
Wuest - Lineup: Huskies at Mooseheads
Wuest - Mooseheads entertain in loss
Palov - Moose get a point

EDIT: oh how could I forget - the new Mac Mascot is absolutely hideous. I would have taken old Mac to bed for a quick cuddle but new Mac looks like a total jerk and I wouldn't even give him the privilege of getting a fake phone number from me at the bar. I would just walk away.

???

I am swamped.

Moose lost to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies by a score of 4-2. Moose goals were by Bety and the one armed man*, Knotek and Lemieux had the assists.

Cookies to the one armed man: he can hit, he can score, and he can use that one good hand to...

I have nothing to say today because I cannot really talk about a game I only half-ass-ed-ly listened to, so I will leave you with news links that I can update when they become available.

Q-files (Wuest) - Moose lose 4-2 to Huskies
Glenn MacDonald - Eagles win in OT, Mooseheads fall to 1-8 after loss to Huskies
Halifax Metro (Wuest) - Weekend split a big boost for struggling Mooseheads

Things to take note of:

1. I need to stop getting confused and excited (aroused?) when Moore says Yetman
2. Moore also has to stop getting confused when he says Yetman (it is Brad, not Mark)
3. Yuri won 7 of 8 faceoffs...but had no shots on net.
4. Knotek won 16 of 27 faceoffs.
   
5. Gabe (the first) only layed one hit. He is friendly to friends.
6. I was so excited about Hannay getting to play and then he took a roughing penalty that resulted in a R-N goal. It is like he is not even house broken. Bad puppy.

______________________________
*Gerrad Grant

Sugah

Let's get the painful part out of the way - Moose lost 5-2 to the Gatineau Olympiques last night. This is the Moose's 5th loss in a row. We are currently pointless - the worst team in the whole CHL (well, the Lethbridge Hurricanes are 0-4-0-0 and the Brampton Battalion are 0-3-0-0). Exhale! Inhale!

News links:
Lineup: Olympiques at Mooseheads
Winless Moose fall to Olympiques

Early-season home games scarce for Mooseheads
This injury packs a pungent punch
Lots of shots, but Mooseheads need to crash the net

Mooseheads lose again

Right man for the job - A Brunet Story

Showing patience - A Pelletier story

The game in point form:
1) Well that was boring. Was it the lack of crowd or the boys?

2) The first period should have been re-named 'Mooseheads fall down, go BOOM'.

3) Some people say that they do not see Linden Bahm. I always see Linden Bahm. We are neighbors. For you see, Linden has four homes - all of them in corners. I also live in a corner. Linden frequently drops by and is all like "hey neighbour can I borrow some sugar?" and I am like "I only have raw sugar" and he is like "I will take what ever sugar you are willing to give me"...then we make out.

Also, if you didn't see that breakaway, the speed, and that fancy footwork then you are fucking blind.

4) Gabriel Desjardins gets so excited for goals. I like that enthusiasm. I want to get on the ice with him and jump around like a girl. He assisted on Bety's goal, the Mooseheads first goal of the game. He was more excited than Bety. Give him cookies.

5) Nice try Lemieux. Lemieux was one-on-one with Gatineau 'tender Tait, when Tait had to come out to play the puck. Faceoff. Tait got to the puck first and Lemieux could have made it to the puck with the net empty - had he not fallen down and crashed the net. It is not the falling that charms me (I do that all the time - you should see my wrist - it is FUCKED UP) but the effort and the fact that the Moose had that opportunity. We need these opportunities and we need to take advantage of them. Maybe next time.

6) I was about 3 seconds from calling for Cheremetiev's head. Between the stupid cross checking penalty on the power play and his general lack of production I have been, in my brain, requesting a trade for Alexandre Leduc (Sea Dogs). There have got to be better 20 year old players out there - ones that can play that role - the one Yuri is supposed to play. You know the role- goal scorer. Then Yuri got a goal. This buys him 2 more games until I declare him "not boyfriend potential" again.

7) oh Jessyko. I like you.
If only. Why is this game filled with so many "if onlys"? You got knocked down breaking onto the 'piques zone and somehow you ended up with a hooking penalty.

8) Lower on shots but good on hits. So many lovely lovely hits. Come-on babies continue to rock my world.

9) There were more boys in front of the net. This is a good thing. Keep it up.

10) Gerrad Grant- wearing a playing cast, was back in the game. Peeps are all like "wow he hasn't played in months and yet he could play on the top line and on the PP. Yes he can, anybody can of you put them there...then technically they are doing it. The real question is - should he have been playing on the top line and in the PP? Even he has admitted that his hands are not quite back yet.

“I’ll be in top shape, but my shot won’t be there,” Grant said. “I’m hoping (to produce offence), that’s what I’m planning on doing, but it probably won’t happen right away.”

11) Matty- arrrrrrgggggg. Four goals in 17 shots.

12) I forget. Scratches were Clarke, MacDonald (baby come back), Stoddard and Costello. I hear that Clarke was chattin' up the ladies in the concourse - wear a condom.

13) Completely incomprehensible (and hot) Travis Randell intermission interview posted on my facebook page.

...and three kinds of yes

Hold your seaponies, I will get to my shitty game review eventually. For now I MUST tell everybody about John Moore's new website.

John Moore, the radio voice of the Mooseheads, has a website with blog posts about adventures on the road. There are also videos with coach interviews and player shenanigans. I heart player interviews...like this goalie interview.


Matty has his modeling angles down. He looks good from the front. He has sharp features and sometimes does not take a good photo. He needs to watch his angles, know his light and smile with his eyes. He looks like he is getting it down. Ahhh my # 1 boyfriend is getting better looking with age. I like that.

Yeah, this means we have a you tube page. There is also an interview with Maxime Clermont there. I do not want to steal all of John Moore's thunder by posting all of his videos (GOALIES, GOALIES, GOALIES), so just get your ass over there and visit CHL goalie of the week, Clermont, NOW. He just gets cuter every day (Clermont, not Moore) and his English is impeccable - we could totally date him. I would put him on my boyfriend list because of this, but he is already on my boyfriend list. We need two Clermonts.

You can learn so much about about boys when you visit Moore's website. Things like "Charles Bety can fix a car" and "former Moosehead Garrett Peters is in family way and won't be playing for Saint Mary's University this year". Peters is 22. Q-girl style Sex-Ed lessons to come.



For now let's talk about the video chronicling Charles Bety's mechanic skills.

There are three things I like about this video.

1) Charles Bety has smokin' hot arms - YES
2) Gerrad Grant reminds me that he has more equipment than just that which he wears on the ice - YESSS
3) oh heyyyyyy hottie - YESSSSSS!

Who is #3? He is tall. It is not MacDonald and not Amyot. I don't think it is Abeltshauser. It must be Hannay. Hannay, you can now join my growing list of boyfriends - please move over to the left with the large cluster of other inappropriately aged boys.


Sex ed:
Now boyfriends, I don't know if anybody has ever told you this, so please listen carefully - BABIES COME FROM SEX. Crazy, I know. I don't want anybody on my team to be in 'a family way' any time soon.

You see that thing in Gerrad Grant's hand (well you can't see it, but you can imagine it...like I am) - it is 1/2 of the baby making machinery. You can't just be taking your machinery and putting it in girlie bits all willy-nilly and expecting no babies to result.

You are probably thinking "but it can't happen to me. I'm just a kid". This is a lie. Young people are THE MOST fertile - it is most likely going to happen to you. What are the odds? Well, women are fertile about 1-2 days a month. If you are planting seeds every day of the month then your odds are somewhere like 1/30. But you are young and you don't like 'flo' so your odds are more like 1/25. Those odds are scary huh? Better than the Mooseheads odds of winning a game anytime soon.

Dudes! It takes two people to not make a baby and birth control is unreliable if she has been drinking, taking antibiotics, or if she missed a pill. Also, sometimes, girls lie about using birth control, just like they lie about your skills in the boudoir (or grassy field, or school bathroom) and about their ability to orgasm *gasp*. You may be fucking stupid girls. Use a condom - EVERY TIME. It also helps lower your chances of STDs.

...and Gerrad Grant- please move to the left. I didn't know you had "equipment". You can totally be my boyfriend.

Never mind the bollocks

I know, I know! I never write, I never call, heck I don't even PM. I leave you at home weeping into your keyboard and wondering if I will ever type the words blow job ever again. For my absence I am sorry. I have a little thing called a job (is a PhD a job?) and it has silly things like deadlines and pressures. Since today is a sunny day and I am involved in a vast conspiracy for slacking off while drinking beers on the rooftop of 'Your Father's Moustache' this afternoon, I figured I could also take a little time to slack in advance.

Moose news? What is that? Admittedly my post draft rants have been slow coming and I never listed all of our new draftees. It is with open arms I welcome following boys into the fold. No, they can't nuzzle into my boobies quite yet. I need to see them in a jersey first.

Round 1( #15)
Brent Andrews 1993-01-19 6'1" 183

Round 2 (#19)
Jamie Bishop 1993-03-14 6'0" 168

Round 3 (#49)
Matthew Boudreau 1993-03-09 5'8" 149

Round 4 (#67)
Trey Lewis 1993-05-31 5'11" 170

Round 4 (#72)
Carl Gélinas 1992-02-06 5'11" 172

Round 6 (#106)
Sawyer Hannay 1992-09-06 6'3" 190

Round 9 (#145)
Joel Grondin 1992-02-27 6'1" 192

Round 10 (#163)
Brett Bernard 1992-02-24 5'11" 170

Round 11 (#181 )
Steve Gillard 1992-02-01 5'10" 184

Round 12 (#197)
Kody Orr 1992-10-11 6'0" 170

I know nothing about these boys (except we drafted a lot of guys who want to go NCAA) but on draft weekend Matthew Wuest had a lot of coverage and so I will direct you to him. His pick by pick coverage is excellent except he fails to provide info on who the little hotties are. I suggest you stick with reading his stuff because he is all in the know and likely hasn't offered anyone a blowjob for information recently. This means he is legit. Me? Not so much!

Today you can read a post about our first round pick Brett Andrews. Andrews is still not sure if he wants to report and I am making angry fists in his general direction until he decides to come here.

“We’re not sure yet. We’re in discussions,” Andrews, 16, told the Charlottetown Guardian from his home in Hunter River, P.E.I. “It was a pretty big surprise. I didn’t expect them to pick me that high.”

May I also recommend Wuest's twitter feed?

The Moose are getting with the times:
The Mooseheads have also started a twitter feed and it is making me feel all tingly in my nethers. The next step may be a website overhaul. I mean really guys - get on it! They also had game announcer John Moore write about the draft. Maybe they can actually get around to getting him a real blog page like the Wildcats did with Les Stoodley. Not that I want to be pushed to the edge of the Moose blog-o-verse by a bunch of team sanctioned legits. I wish that blogging would get me free season tickets. Wouldn't that be nice?

The Moose used their twitter to show me this:

I mean, look at this fancy shnazmatazz (not a word)!!! This is Gabe the 2nd (now, Gabe the only) wearing our new jersey. The team put a picture up on their website but quickly removed it. I have yet to see a picture of the new uniform in full.

I just have one complaint. I know Gabe is pretty and all, and he is one of the few boys still around since he is going to school in Halifax, but dearest team - you must use more than one player for promotions. I hope to see more varied and different faces on promotional materials. 4th line players are still Mooseheads, ya' know! I need a little more MacDonald mullett in my life.

Ball hockey:
The CBC Play-On Ball Hockey tournament is taking place on the Halifax Commons this weekend. The Mooseheads will be playing a game against the Moncton Wildcats. I wonder if Gabe the 1st (now, Gabe the Huskie) will be playing or if he has been disowned by our ball hockey team as well. Will Brent Andrews lose his NCAA eligibility if he takes Gabe's place on the ball hockey team?

I will be there - but only because I will be acting as cheerleader, fluffer and trainer for my boyfriend...or at least that is what I will tell him. I may skulk over to the Mooseheads game and get my drool on.

Wuests' next big three:
Matthew Wuest has also updated his Q-flies to discuss three players that he thinks will have an impact next year. Included on the list are Gerrad "model's body" Grant*, Jessyko "puppy" Bernard, and Pascal "I don't have a nickname for him yet" Amyot.

This is what he has to say about Jessyko:

For a 20-game stretch last year, Bernard was scoring at a point-per-game pace on the top line with Tomas Knotek. Then he disappeared. But at 18, he'll be asked to take on a scoring-line role and has size and hands to rise to the occasion.

Wonderful. We like to blame Jessyko's lost production on a series of injuries/aggravated injuries during the second half. I have huge faith is Jessyko. Why didn't I bid on that Bernard limited edition V's Jersey? Blame the goalie!

Anyway, the point I want to make is not about the praise - it is about the dis below. Why do we let people comment in the newspaper? If they want a voice they can get a blog like me and then people can choose to read it or not to read it.

Newspaper comments bombard me with idiocy - I hate them. Metro reader Sonny says "Bernard would have to be in a lot better shape that he was to have a breakout season, his stamina was very low also he has to lose his hot dog attitude ( as in no more between period interviews, please)"

Sonny is clearly on crack. Jessyko's intermission interviews were the one thing I actually had to look forward to at last year's games. I want to see more singing, more fancy suits, more stylin' glasses, more luxurious mullet growth and the pimpin'est shoes - faux snakeskin perhaps. I wonder if he can dance in his blades? Hmmmmm? I think he should definitely give that a try. Never mind the bollocks, Jessyko.

NHL Draft:
I could compile a list of players from the Q who are expected to go in this years draft. If I am feeling like science is bogging me down I might just do it....or I might just opt for what I have been doing during my downtime all week - lapsing into a vegetative state on the sofa. I hope that Simon Despres and Olivier Roy get their just placements in the draft. I think it is about time the Devils drafted a new young goalie with a high pick. I also wish Gabriel O'Connor good luck with the draft and I really really hope that he has caught the eye of at least one NHL team who is willing to give him a chance.

Goalies:
Olivier Roy (Cape Breton) and Jake Allen (Montreal) have been invited to the Hockey Canada's national junior development camp in August. Congrats to the boys. I lubs me some goalie. I especially lubs me my Q- goalies. I am glad we will have two goalies reppin' the Q this year.

*Sweetie - I am NEVER going to let you live that down.

I need to be bled dry to quit.

Fourteen wins. The Moose have overcome that nasty "stuck on unlucky # 13" win slump. I was beginning to think they would be stuck on 13 forever. The Halifax Mooseheads have defeated the Montreal Junior 4-3 in regulation. It must have been the hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows.

Here Puppy Puppy? Uh where is Jessyko Bernard? Wuest has the (temporary) lineups for the Mooseheads vs Junior game up already. I am writing as I go. I kept wondering why I did not see Jessyko out there with Piette in the first period. He appears to be some sort of scratch. Now, speaking of scratch, I am just going over here to sharpen my nails. Yes, I am biased. Someone must die for this injustice.

Goalies:

Jake Allen was supposed to start in nets for the Junior, but got a puck to the throat (ouch) in practice, so Bérubé is starting. Mark Yetman is in nets for the Moose. Speaking of poor: is Mathieu ever going to get a start ... or a painted helmet? So underappreciated!!! Will we have to attack Yeti and hurt him, Nancy Kerrigan style, just to get MCT his start? How unfortunate for Mathieu that it does not matter how he performs, he is still not allowed to play.

Goals:

1st period

Mooseheads: Desjardins with assists by Pender and Knotek

2nd period

Mooseheads: Power Play goal by Piette from MacAskill and Amyot. This was a nice shot taken from the blue line right in front of the net. I don't know exactly how it went down, it might have been a Piette tip in from an Amyot shot.

Junior: Layton from Adam. The Moose defence were a mess on this one, which went high glove side on Yetman.

Mooseheads: Stransky from Bona. Stransky was parked in front of the net... where all good boys park their asses.

Junior: Layton from Adam and Esposito. Adam and Layton had a 2 on 1 rush. Yetman made the save on Adam's shot but did not push left fast enough to get Layton's rebound.

Junior: Esposito from Adam and Layton (one line wonders here). Espo was parked in front of the net - taking out the trashes and fucking with my recyclables.

Tied at 3:3 going into the third

Mooseheads: Power play goal by Gerrad Grant, assisted by Linden Bahm.

Notes:

• Moose had a surprising 2 pp goals in 3 opportunities, then shut down the Junior on their 6 tries. Special teams are back in my good graces.
• It was not the most physical game ever.
• Yeti's glove hand was snappy like a lobster. He made a snogtastic 29 saves on 32 shots (18 dangerous). We will have to hold off on our Tonya Harding impersonation for now, sorry Matty.
• Randell's ankle loves to suffer. He took a puck to it at the end of the third, despite this being his first game back from an ankle sprain. I am sure his presence helped considerably on those six PKs.
  
• It was a reffing zombocracy. Quebec is apparently overrun with zombies.
• Knotek, Desjardins and Stransky may be trying to be a bit too fancy sometimes, what with their backwards passing and all.
• Bona did a good job breaking up a two on one.
• Game stars were (1) Stransky, (2) Desjardins, (3) Layton
• Cookies go to Gerrad Grant (or as his mother calls him Gerry, as in "Oh I hate to see Gerry get hit like that"...yeah, I sat next to his mom once, she is kind of a milf) for the game winner.

EDIT** NEWS LINKS
Wuest- Special teams shine as Mooseheads snap losing streak

This is News

I am sick. Not only because kids have come back to town, dragging along with them their exotic diseases from Ontario and Newfoundland, and I, in usual form, have been licking too many dicks (not true) and doorknobs (possibly true), but I am also sick because the Mooseheads have released two players: 19 year old forwards Chad Earle and Matt Snow.

According to Wuest:
The 6-foot-1, 193-pound Earle had seven goals and five assists in 39 games with the Mooseheads, providing offensive hustle and the ability to put the puck on the net. Snow, a speedy 5-foot-10, 180-pounder from Halifax, had three goals and six assists in 25 games.

Sigh. Chad Earle, ye shall be missed.

I am about to be mean now - do not read this Mr Boland.

WHAT THE FUCK? EARLE GOES AND BOLAND STAYS. FUCK YOU PATENAUDE. Earle, 8th in goals on the team - gone- so we can keep Boland's toughness, which basically equals a bunch of lost fights, 1 goal, 2 assists and a bum shoulder. Not only that, but amongst the guys who have played more than 30 games on the team, Earle has one of the better +/- stats, at -8, and a whole lotta hustle. Some would say "Earle is soft", to which I would reply "soft is nice for touching".

This makes Gerrad Grant's, December player of the month award seem so much less bitterness inducing. Grant won player of the month for one goal, an assist an a 0+/-. Earle had 1 goal, one assist and a -2 for the month of December. Matt Snow also had a 1 goal and 1 assist with a 0+/-. One gets a prize, the other two get dropped from the team - because they are 19.

Why do I get attached?


At least I still have puppy, the Moosehead's winner of the RDS mid-season rookie excellence award. Here, from the QMJHL website, is the full list of winners (stupid dolts, they spelled his* name wrong):

Jonathan Lessard – Acadie-Bathurst Titan
Christopher Giroux - Baie-Comeau Drakkar
Christopher Holden - Cape Breton Screaming Eagles
Sean Coulton - Chicoutimi Saguenéens
Dmitry Kulikov - Drummondville Voltigeurs
Olivier Croteau - Gatineau Olympiques
Jessyco Bernard - Halifax Mooseheads *
Étienne Brodeur - Lewiston MAINEiacs
Brandon Gormley - Moncton Wildcats
Guillaume Asselin – Montreal Juniors
Ben Duffy – P.E.I. Rocket
Dmitri Kugryshev - Quebec Remparts
Patrick Delisle-Houde - Rimouski Océanic
Sergey Ostapchuk - Rouyn-Noranda Huskies
Stephen MacAulay - Saint John Sea Dogs
Pierrick Martel - Shawinigan Cataractes
Alex Noël - Val-d’Or Foreurs
Brandon Hynes – Victoriaville Tigres

Sweet Revenge

The Halifax Mooseheads defeated the Bathurst Titan 3-2 in the shootout. The game winning goal was scored by Gerrad Grant. Mark Yetman stopped 22 shots. Well they showed me, didn't they. I missed most of the game but I was saying before the shootout don't put GG in, he misses the net. He proved me wrong. He was all like "in your face stupid bitch". Stupid bitch indeed.

Moose had 41 shots on net, but most were from the outside. Halifax goals were by Piette and Knotek in regulation. Jessyko Bernard and Gerrad Grant got the goals in the 8 round shootout. Yetman made 7 saves in the shootout and received third star honours.

Mah Boo Tomy Joly had both goals for the Titan and was first star of the game. He must learn that the easiest way to my heart is by NOT making my team look like fools. Damn him. I am torn. Bathurst goaltender Nicholas Champion received 2nd star honours for his 39 save performance.

Dear boys,
When it goes onto shootout and you are going backhand - GO HIGH. Jessyko is such a good puppy. Do as Jessyko did - it will get you goals. That is, unless you are Pender, in which case you should just stick with the scarey-ass slapshot. Fancy moves ARE NOT your thing.
Thanks
kisses and cookies
Q

Gerrad Grant has "a body like a model"/ I feel shame.

This post has little to do with hockey and more to do with hockey players. As such I will get the nitty gritty out of the way and let the world know that the Mooseheads lost to the Acadie-Bathurst Titan by a score of 6-4. Mooseheads had the lead three times (2-1, 3-2, 4-3)...and just kept losing it.

For a guy who takes pride in his butterfly stylin' Mark Yetman has a very slutty 5 hole. As I was saying to a friend, Yetman only played well in Moncton because the Wildcats provided him with appropriate pre-game meal of kittey food. That is what cats eat. When he came home and got some of that homemade Mac and Cheese he so likes, it fucked him up, because kittey's should be eating kittey food.

Everything you need to know about the game you can learn by checking out the QMJHL game summary, or Matthew Wuest's lineups (Linden Bahm out HEALTHY, why I NEVER!!!) and game notes.


But this post is not about hockey. This post is about the arrogance of some boys who play hockey. I am going to use curse words. Children - go away NOW. This post is not for you.

Are you gone yet? Good!!!


Every home game we get a game program; the program includes an interview with a player. Today's player was Gerrad Grant (#22). I know I have gone here before but let me continue. One of the questions is "Finish this sentence: I'd be a billionaire if I had a dollar every time some one said..." Gerrad Grant answered "I have the body of a model".

Dude. Fuck Off.

You are an athlete. If you don't have a good body you are fucked. I automatically assume most boys who play hockey have a body that is better than the norm, but to brag about it is just arrogant. Have it ...be humble. What your mother tells you and the puck bunnies tell you DOES NOT COUNT.

Assholes are not hot. Much like how boys will fuck girls and think those girls are twits, there are girls who will fuck boys and then laugh with their friends about what an idiot that guy was. All the girls know. All the girls laugh. DUDES...GIRLS TALK A LOT. Also, girls USE guys. Then we call you stupid and laugh at you. Heterosexual females like male bodies, but to tell you the truth that is all there is to most of you. Bodies. Especially young selfish guys like junior hockey players.

Being an arrogant asshole is not hot

You think you are attractive when you are not. You think you are good in bed because lots of girls will let you fuck them. Just because puck bunnies are chasing after you or using you for your body it does not mean you are hot, nice, worth any girl's actual time and effort, intelligent, a good conversationalist, nor does it mean you are particularly good in bed. One problem is your choice of female companion. Seventeen year old hos from Cole Harbour don't know what "good in bed" means. Nor do you. Just because she made sounds it does not mean she is satisfied. It does not mean you are king of the bedroom. Fuck, most of the time you barely qualify to be court jester on the ice.


Ahhhhh

So because Mark Yetman and Gerrad Grant exhaused themselves before the game with their jerking off - Mark to his "good looking" face, Gerrad to his "model's body", they gave the Titan a chance to win. Brav-a-muther-fuckin-O.

May I just say, as a spokesperson for the vast majority of the female population: shut up. You are behaving like idiots. You may be cool now but junior hockey will end for you sooner than you think. Real life is not at all like "keys to the VIP".

PS. You know who actually is hot. Tomy Joly (to your right): Strong chin, good smile, pleasant eyes, delectable eyebrows. But just because I think he is good looking he shouldn't let it go to his head...especially since he is practically a midget. Hey, we all have faults.