Much Ado about Alex Lemieux

Remember just two blog posts ago...say ummmm way back in November, when I told Alex Lemieux there was nothing he could do to stop my love? Well I guess requesting a trade and not returning to the team was an extreme approach to stopping my love.

Now, as a paranoid Capricorn I would say not that Alex was upset about his lack of ice time but that he, also a paranoid Capricorn,  was afraid of me "getting him". This became particularly evident when they let me into the skate with the Moose event. Didn't Alex let the Mooseheads administration know that he had a restraining order out on me? Don't they care about his safety? Don't they know the chick with the "sexy toque" and the six year old timbit-hockey-playing child-friend (aka my timbits boyfriend) is a danger to all boys aged 16 to, ummmm, lets say 25?

Alas, no! So Alex is hiding at home and has possibly dyed his hair so that I don't recognize him
...and my new boyfriend Gabe Desjardins is also at home with a leg that needs kisses
...and goalie boyfriend Anthony Terenzio is trapped in AMERICA

To make matters worse half the team is in hiding at tournaments in other parts of the country...all because they found out the Mooseheads organization allowed a crazy lady on the ice with them.

At least Mathieu Corbeil and Charles Bety are not scared.

...but jessyko never liked you back

Yes, the 2010 QMJHL draft has started and yes, I still care. It is just that I am trying to write a PhD thesis here and eventually getting a real job with real pay is slightly (just slightly) more important than blogging about one of the world's most disappointing Jr hockey teams during their (VERY EXTENDED) offseason.

So today Cam Russell pulled the trigger on his first move of the trade period and swapped my beloved Jessyko Bernard to the Rouyn Noranda Huskies for a 5th round pick in 2011. Basically, Jessyko has less value to Cam than a used jock strap stuffed with old banana skins. I (and, like, everyone else on the planet) always got the feeling that Cam was not fond of Jessyko.

BUT I WAS.

My "real" boyfriend tried to put it into terms to make me have a slightly reduced case of the sads after I whined "Why do my feelings not matter?"

He said "... but Jessyko never liked you back".

Pure lies. I am sure of it. I am so crazy it is nothing but absolutely adorable. Right Jessyko?

I would wear a 50 pound beard of bees for that boy...

...or just this shirt.

So informed/ so winning/ so-long Benny Boy

Things need to change. New defence, new jersey, new goalie coach... new blog layout and format(?). Yeah, I'll get on that eventually. So if the blog vanishes for a short period of time over the next couple of days it just means that I am reformatting it.

I will have to get rid of the banner since that jersey is right out. I will have to get rid of Benny and Alexis in the side panel because those boys are also right out.

When games start I will bring back the cookies, which is essential because Mathieu loves cookies and I do whatever goalies tell me (telepathically) to do. No really, I do whatever goalies tell me. It is sad. I am also considering keeping track of cookie-worthy players on a game by game basis in the side bar - until I have 68+ cookie receptacles listed.

I really will get on that you tube page so that I can post the most embarassing intermission interviews online. Like this one:



Let's get to business:
For those who are not in the know- Ben MacAskill has been released from the Mooseheads and will not be occupying one of the limited 20 year old roster spots. Nineteen year old goaltender Justin Collier of the Yarmouth Mariners has also been released.

Meanwhile Forward Maxime Belanger and defenceman Jonathan Clarke have broken up with us. Clarke didn't want to be the "other" Clarke on the blueline. It is bad enough that we had a McDonald and a MacDonald, but to have two Bernards and two Clarkes would not help ease the confusion.

But Collier, Belanger and Clarke are irrelevant. Benny is the boy of interest here. I am sad to see him go.


When my girlfriend A.N. needed a Mooseheads boyfriend I assigned Ben to her. Given her string of shitty relationships she needed someone nice. She totally fell (except she still has a real boyfriend - ugh). She once said "MacAskill is the cheese on my Mac and Cheese". Maybe she should have said "Ben is the Mac in my Mac and cheese", it is slightly more punny that way.

She also once said "Ben, Oh how my heart flutters for thee... I wasn't sure our relationship was going to work, with so little to offset your unfortunately obvious misaligned chin. Although your eyes tell me you are a pure and innocent angel, I also secretly hope you are terribly naughty in bed. But for now I suppose I'll have to settle for slick on the ice.... sigh :D
(Also, I don't like reading, but it's totally hot that you do.)"*

The boys say Ben is nice. To top it off he is smart and if he ever needs lab experience in Neuroscience/ Psychology at Dal I can totally hook him up.

I was a firm believer in Ben and instead of dwelling on the negatives I always like to point out when Ben got things right in a game. His smart moves were not uncommon. Once, during a game of pick-up hockey he even got a goal off a pass from my boyfriend (shhhhh, that's kinda a secret).

I wish Ben the best of luck in his future hockey endeavors and future science endeavors and I am serious about that lab position in Neuroscience. My boss keeps filling the lab with pretty girls. It is about time he gave back and got us a boy. We are all tired of hanging out with 60 year old men.


PEI still suck:
This is why the Moose were able to defeat them 6-4 in the preseason game at the forum. I confess I was not in attendance. My parentals were visiting and I was forbidden from getting my skank on with one of those long, hard, wooden (oh my) benches at the Forum. For more information on the game see Matthew Wuest's write up for the Metro or Willy Palov's write up for the Herald.


* she is going to kill me for that

Sads

Mooseheads forward Gabriel Desjardins did not make the cut for the under 18 squad for the Memorial of Ivan Hlinka tournament. Neither did Brooks Macek of the tri-city Americans. Why does this selection committee hate the pretty?

Gabe had a single goal for the white team in the first scrimmage of the series plus an assist and a tripping penalty in the third game. Team white lost all four games to team red.

In happer news, four boys from the Q did make the team and one of those boys was the adorably fluffy/pouty/toothy Louis Boileau-Domingue of the Moncton Wildcats (and goaltender for team red). Quickly, tie him down while I shove 4 dozen cookies into his mouth. Don't worry - he has a week to digest them before the tournament.

disguised as a kitteh

Draft day round One: Fuck my team!

Halifax traded Gabe O’Connor to Rouyn Noranda to get a pick a meager 4 spaces higher in the draft, so they get both a 19th and 15th pick. So much for our strong Gabe based blueline. Here we are bragging about the strength of our blueline with Gabe being our #1 guy and then we trade him. I am pouting. I am glad he got that goal with us, his very first goal in his very last game as a Moosehead. Gabe, you shall be sorely missed. kisses.

1. Val d’Or - Olivier Archambault

2. Shawinigan - Yannick Veilleux

3. Lewiston - Francis Beauviller

4. Val d’Or - Jean-Francois Leblanc

5. Moncton - Raphael Bussieres

6. Chicoutimi - Rock Regimbald

7. PEI - Jimmy Oligny

8. Shawinigan - Jonathan Racine

9. Victoriaville - Phillip Danault

10. Saint John - Pierre Durepos

11. Lewiston - Jean-Francois Plante

12. Gatineau - Benjamin Laliberte

13. Chicoutimi - Gabriel Vermette

14. Montreal - Xavier Ouellet

15. Halifax - Brent Andrews (a forward) an NCAA blowhard* (I only say that because I think the NCAA threats are bullshit…maybe its his parents or agent who is the actual blowhard). What a fucking crock of shit this is then. Why trade up to pick a guy that no one was going to pick because they thought he was going NCAA ? According to Wuest we don't even have a firm commitment from the kid. Couldn’t the Moose have gotten him with the 19^th pick? Why pick a forward and trade away your top defenceman when the aim this year was to build from the net out?

Remember this picture heading from the Metro: “Moosehead general manager Cam Russell cites Gabriel O’Connor as the type of player he wants to acquire.” Little Andrews dude better have some totally fantastic fucking eyebrows or I quit!

Worse yet is the fact that Gabe went to the draft to rep the team and the fuckers traded him. Apparently he was stunned. Like no Duh!!!! I guess we wanted an O’Connor but not THE O’Connor. Uhhhh wasn’t he supposed to be captain? Oh FUCK MY TEAM.

OK. I am a little upset, and by a little I mean…a lot upset. Why must girls always let emotion get in the way of the logical human-boy slave trade that is CHL hockey?

16. Moncton - Dillon Donelly

17. Chicoutimi - Robin Gusse

18. Saint John - Jonathan Huberdeau

*edit -admittedly the term blowhard is unnecessarily harsh. I am just excessively emotional right now and sometimes I take it out on the wrong people. It happens when you juggle lots of men. Sometimes one boy gets to feel the wrath of my anger that should be directed towards another boy. Don't worry kid. My calling you a blowhard hurts a lot less than being suddenly, shockingly and unwillingly uprooted from your home of 3 years and having to move away from your friends and girlfriend(s) at a moments notice. Don't blame me... blame the CHL for that one. If you come here and you are 'all balls' I might change my mind. It does happen - just ask Jessyko Bernard.

Shiiiiiit

According to Matthew Wuest 20 year old Mooseheads forward Yuri Cheremetiev, who was recently drafted by the KHL, will be traveling to Russia for a try out.

The Halifax Mooseheads are suddenly at risk of watching another high-scoring forward bolt overseas.

Sources have told Metro Halifax that Yuri Cheremetiev has been offered a two-year contract by CSKA Moscow of the Kontinental Hockey League. He hasn’t signed, but is expected to travel to Russia in July to try out for the club.

Sources said Cheremetiev is interested in returning to Russia, where he hasn’t travelled since he was five.

By offering Cheremetiev a contract, CSKA is believed to retain his KHL signing rights until April 30, 2017. The minimum KHL salary is believed to be more than US $100,000.

Cheremetiev played for Russia in the Canadian Hockey League’s Canada-Russia Challenge last November. The head coach of that team, former NHLer Sergei Nemchinov, was hired as CSKA Moscow’s head coach in May.

Don't worry Yuri. We are all whores for the right amount of money.

Three things

Congrats to the babe Gabe:
Gabriel Desjardins has been chosen to be on the selection camp roster for Canada's under 18 team. Twenty-two players from this group will go on to represent Canada at the Tournament of Ivan Hlinka which takes place in the Czech Republic and Slovakia in August.

From the Hockey Canada Website:

Hockey Canada, in partnership with the Canadian Hockey League, announced on Thursday the roster of forty players that will be taking part in the Canada’s National Men’s Summer Under-18 Team selection camp in Calgary from August 1-4.

The players, born in 1992 or later, were selected by Hockey Canada head scout Al Murray, in consultation with head coach Dave Lowry (Calgary, WHL) and assistant coaches Chris DePiero (Oshawa, OHL) and Mark Holick (Kootenay, WHL). Murray evaluated these players over the course of the 2008-09 season, following them along with numerous other candidates for the program during league play, as well as at the 2009 World Under-17 Hockey Challenge in Port Alberni, B.C.

He is also competing against Brooks Macek of the Tri City Americans as the official representative of Canada's hotness. Yes. That is tongue!!! Brandon Hynes is also competing, but he may be considered more cute than hot.

Admittedly, I need a better camera... for stalking.

Baby LBD was also invited. Hooray for my future goalie boyfriend (yes dear Matty, I cheat with goalies from other teams). Other Q reps include Morgan* Ellis (Eagles), Brandon Gormley (Wildcats), Jerome Gauther-Leduc (Huskies), Guillaume Asselin (Juniour), Michael Bournival (Cataractes), Cedrick Henley (Foreurs), Brandon Hynes (Tigres) and Sean Couturier (Voltigeurs).

A new Jersey? WTF?
The Mooseheads have announced that in keeping with the new RBK edge style which has officially been adopted by the CHL, they will be issuing a new home and away jersey. The jersey will be keeping the red and white colour theme of the origional Mooseheads jersey. The NEW black and white Halifax Jerseys have been discontinued for the 2009-2010 season and are supposed to return in 2010-2011. Now the thousands of people who bought the new sytle jerseys over the past two years will feel like total chumps because they are dressing in a jersey and in colours which don't match the team. While we are at it, why don't I just wear that "Fear the Yeti" shirt I bought for the playoffs two years ago. It will feel as appropriate.

Hooray. Once again Mooseheads marketing look like idiots. I love the way we insist on living in the past. While we are at it can we not update the website and maybe next year we can once again focus on the fan's past favorites while makeing no effort to promote our current roster.

My sidebar picture is soooooo last season.


A new assistant GM:
Bob (Tipper) Leblanc has been promoted to the position of Mooseheads assistant general manager, and just in time for the QMJHL draft.

Dear Tipper,
I like them tall, tough and cute. Really, really cute.
Q-girl

EDIT.
... and a new head scout, Jean-Marc Blouin.

Holy fuck I suck at this!!! More news even:
Coach/GM Cam Russel has announced that defenceman, and possible future wedding singer, George Dunn has been released. Who will sing to me now? My ears have a bad case of the sads.

Russell also announced that defenceman George Dunn has been released. The Niagara Falls, Ont., native played 11 games for the Mooseheads after being signed as a free agent at mid-season last year but Russell said he doesn’t fit into the team’s plans anymore.

* D'oh. I origionally had Morgan Ellis listed as Spitfire player Ryan Ellis. Sorry kiddo.

Some boys make you cry over and over and over again

I admit it. I was reading the message boards. It did not inspire me to punch my screen... but I was indeed reading the message boards. They say that Mooseheads forward Jan Stransky will not be returning next season, opting instead to stay with his hometown team Plzen in the Czech Extraliga. This is after Matthew Wuest reported that Stransky would be staying in Halifax so that Tomas Knotek could have someone to hold hands with.

Stransky is always breaking hearts. We have been here before. It is what he and his "good looking face" do. Heck, as far as I can tell he and every other guy on the Mooseheads with a "good looking face" are basically condemning girls (and Knotek) to spend half of their day locked in a bathroom stall crying.

So is it true? Well, according to one Czech news website it would appear so. A sketchily translated article from Nova Sport states:

From overseas are returning to Pilsen two young odchovanci - Dominik Bohac defender and attacker Jan Stransky. "In contrast, overseas leave Tomas Kubalík, which has a contract with Columbus, and the sea remain defender David Štich," said Zavoral.

I guess the real question is - is this Czech newspaper any more reliable than Wuest's report? Well, the HC Lasselsberger Plezn website from which I took his dreamy picture says YES. He will no longer be rolling in Laurier's because we Canadians tell him he is pretty. He is leaving that job for all the other good looking Mooseheads.

Update: See Wuest's blog

You hurt you more than you hurt me

The Halifax Mooseheads lost to the Saint John Sea Dogs by a score of 3-2, thus officially eliminating them from contention for the 2009 QMJHL playoffs.

What can I say? I am personally offended* that Jessyko Bernard sat in favour of Guillaume (broken knee) Pelletier. Here we are in a MUST WIN game and we sit a hard working forward in favour of a guy who has not played since December, a guy who only received 2 shifts all game. This means that the Mooseheads were running with 7 defencemen and essentially 10 forwards... because exhausting your forwards by only running 3 lines is the SMARTEST thing you can do in a MUST WIN game.

As usual, Jessyko was amusing in the intermission interview. He is apparently making good use of that 'Dance Dance Revolution' game I theoretically gave him for X-mas. However did I know? Call it a woman's intuition. He is a triple threat: singer, dancer, hockey player. He can also do sit, paw, rollover and attack. Unfortunately, I have never spotted him wandering through the concourse during intermissions. It is like he is trying to avoid me, probably because he knows that I am crazy and I that if I were to see him I would try to pet him and give him a milkbone.

The game:
Bernard, O'Brien, Dunn and Boland were sitting out for the Moose

Randell, Knotek and Grant played together
Stransky, Desjardins and Piette played together
Cheremetiev, Bahm and Louis-XVI played together.
Bety was a floater.** (epic fail - see edit below)

The Moose were slow to start but they did have some high energy shifts, one of the best being a shift by Stransky, Desjardins and Piette about 10 minutes into the first period. Despite the effort, the Moose just could not opportunize, and lost their one goal lead early in the second period. Robert Mayer was a little shaky but he did make some excellent saves and when he does the splits my groin hurts, not from lust, but merely out of sympathy.

The SeaDogs had 32 shots on net, and no power play goals. Unfortunately at least one of those Sea Dogs goals was kinda soft. No, flowers are not going to cut it!! Besides, that is not even me - that is Gerrad Grant (damn that mynx). Gerrad always wears the yellow dress, because as every model knows, yellow is the hot colour for spring. I am the one (temporarily) skulking away to find a cute little spriggin' such as Drew Owsley to comfort me. Just give me a second...OK, I'm over it.

But I still wonder why Yetman was not called to the bench earlier... it is not like he wasn't rearing to leave when the Moose were applying serious pressure in the Sea Dogs zone with just under 2 minutes to go... because, you know, this game was all about smart decisions: like sitting Jessyko out, or separating your top three scorers into 3 different lines.


Notes:

• I just remembered that the most disappointing thing about yesterday's game was O'Brien saying that he liked Nickelback.
• The way the guys behind me bitch about Bona you would think that he is Judas. Like sometimes I even think that "Damn Bona" is the official psalm of their religion. I hate them. Apparently I am intolerant of religions that I simply do not understand.
  
• Desjardins had a brilliant opportunity in the second period and shot for the empty net, but a Sea Dogs defender stopped the puck in mid air with his stick. It was worlds of disappointing.
• Mooseheads goals were by Tomas Knotek (from Stransky and Randell) on the power play, and Gerrad Grant (from Knotek and Justin Pender). Both were very nice goals, but Gerrad's was nicer.
  
• When the game ended the boys looked soooooo dejected. They are much more disappointed about this than me.
• Martin Brodeur did not look so dejected...oops sorry, wrong game. RAWR.
  

Matthew Wuest interviewed Eric Louis-XVI for his latest game review:

“That’s very tough for us,” said 19-year-old forward Eric Louis-Seize, outside a dejected locker room afterward. “We were expecting to come out with two wins (against Saint John). It’s hard for us. We didn’t quit, we didn’t stop battling, and it’s disappointing.”

...All that’s left to be determined on Sunday is whether the Mooseheads will finish the season tied with the franchise’s lowest single-season point total. They are currently tied with the 2003-04 entry with 44 points, and need a win or overtime/shootout loss to move ahead.

“We’re not changing our game plan,” Louis-Seize said. “It doesn’t matter if we’re out of the playoffs, we’re coming out with the same attitude. This is the last time we’re all together here and nobody’s giving up.”

__________________________________________
*OK that is a lie. I am not personally offended by anything, especially not a player sitting. However, I do lubs me some Jessyko. I call dibs.

** from Wuest
Gerrad Grant/Tomas Knotek/Travis Randell
Charles Bety/Yuri Cheremetiev/Linden Bahm
Gabriel Desjardins/Alexis Piette/Jan Stransky
Eric Louis-Seize/Guillaume Pelletier

artwork by Megan Whitmarsh @ http://www.meganwhitmarsh.com/.

Monday updates: Where Raf is king!

Ahem, Cold team again! Poor boys. Here, have some hot chocolate and a nice warm blanket straight from the dryer. Extra marshmallows? Ok. Whatever you want as long as you promise to keep trying, and not give up on yourselves or your teammates... and stay away from girls silly enough to wear short shorts in an ice rink.

Yep, sportsnet have once again named the Halifax Mooseheads the cold team of the week:

A trip to Northern Québec did little to stop the bleeding for the Mooseheads, who dropped both contests at Val-d'Or and Rouyn-Noranda. Halifax has lost six straight games and won just twice in their last 10. With the recent emergence of the Foreurs, Halifax has the inside track on the first overall pick as they hold the fewest points at 31.

Hilarious, but sadly no... the Foreurs not only have their own 1st round pick, but they also have the Mooseheads' - *sighs*.

The Oceanic are the hot team, Raf D'Orso (Foreurs goaltender) is the hot player and Pierre-Luc Lessard (Drakkar defenceman) is the cold player.

The QMJLH Players of the week are the aforementioned Raffaele D'Orso (seen to your left, looking hot in goalie gear... as this is what goalie gear is prone to do to the average boy) and Jacob Legace of the Chicoutimi Sagueneens.

See my Moosies, it is not your fault you could not win, Raffaele would not have allowed it. Raf was just feeling all fancy this week, bolstered by his shutout over the Junior de Montreal and his 1.33 GAA /0.971 save%. He just wanted to feel like the old Raffaele, the dreamy girl magnet with the good stats... let him have this one little joy. Then pin him down and shave his douchetastic chin strap - it does not do him justice.

Tee Hee:
I would recognize those eyebrows from across an ocean (Image from the U Waterloo Warriors homepage). WTF Pier? You are not allowed to wear RBKs, you are a Vaughn's man!!!

This past weekend Pier backstopped the U Waterloo Warriors in back-to-back wins over Thunder bay's Lakehead Thunderwolves.

Pier Pelletier continued his phenomenal play for the Warriors this weekend as he turned aside 71-75 shots, earning him Warrior of the week honours.

Some peeps can fuss over Marchand and Bodnarchuk but I am going to stick with fussing over Pelletier, thank you very much. I am glad he is appreciated somewhere.

Please take note

PEI are updating their website. I made a post a long long time ago about why the Mooseheads website sucks...and how our team promotions suck. I had started a post on how the promotional team can improve the website but never finished because I was lazy and it required more work than simply telling boys to lick me.

This is what PEI will be doing:

· “This is my Civic Centre” rotating promo videos – every time you visit the PEI Rocket website, you will be greeted by a new video of one of the Rocket Players in their creative “This is my Civic Centre” videos.

· Next Game Videos – For every upcoming home game, we will have a message from a Rocket player promoting each upcoming game and any important special events associated with each game.

· Last Game Video Highlights – complete with audio from Corey Arsenault, each game will features highlights that will be shown on the website shortly after each home game.

In the very near future, additional video components will be added that will include:

· Player Profile Videos – designed to allow fans to get to know the players. These are 2-3 minute vignettes of each of our players that are currently shown at home games between periods.

· Introduction Videos – each player has a very brief intro video highlighting their name, number, position and hometown.

We want the website to be a place where our fans can be kept up to date on anything that is happening with the PEI Rocket. Although many new additions have been added to the site, the old favorites are still there as well, including.

· Launchpad E-Newsletter signup

· Player Appearance Program request form

· News Section

· Information on all of the Rocket players

· And much more…

PEI PEOPLE!!! It is a sad day when PEI are one-upping us; and have you seen the Eagles website? It is magnificently beautiful. The boy in the background changes all the time. Moncton have a blog as well as a history record for all players...what an ingenious idea. The Mooseheads could have done this to help celebrate players from the past 15 years, you know, for the great 15th season promotion.

They are promoting their players...because when you can't promote a win, then you turn to the next best thing - the shiny young dreamy things that play the game. Fucking brilliant. I want to watch porno videos of my players - oops, I mean promo videos.

We haven't even updated our videos since last year.

Who the fuck is Bryce Swan? What is a Voracek? I see no Voraceks on the roster! YouTube wha? RSS feed - that is crazy talk!!! I can't take naughty cell phone pictures. I am old... I can't deal with this shit!!!


edit - Holy crap- you can get PEI player posters for your bedroom wall people. Not my thing, but still... I have no goalies to kiss when I go to bed. Come to think of it, I need to buy a Nadeau 11x17 poster stat!

Goodbye Richard Greer

We hardly knew ye.

Richard has been reassigned to his EJHL team. According to Wuest:

The 6-footer is a former second-round pick of the Mooseheads but has struggled to gain weight, despite yeoman training efforts. Management still has Greer in its plans, but there isn't room for him at present and he'll get more ice time in the EJHL.

Despite sticking with the team, seventeen year old Greer has played in only 10 of 41 Mooseheads games so far this season, and only 13 of 70 games last season, with 0 points in his 23 career games.

It seems as if the defensive corps is staying old. MacAskill hasn't gone anywhere, and appears to be set to play on a line with Amyot for upcoming games. It is expected that one more defenceman will be cut before this weekend's deadline.

Saint John's great big mutherfuckin' fire sale...

...everything must go. Our team, our time, my ASS.

Gone are:
Alex Grant (to Shawinigan)
Christopher DiDomenico (to Drummondville)
Pascal Amyot (to Halifax)
Alexei Dostoinov (to Gatineau)

Released are:
Matthew Stoddard
Kyle Dilosa
Stephen Walker

Is there anything else I need to know my dearest Sea Dogs?

Not only are the Sea Dogs ridding themselves of all their boys, they are getting rid of their jerseys too. They are having another jersey auction, with last year's team jerseys, and there is NO Fullerton jersey. WTF??? (* edit - HA, he is there now. Got ya sucka. )


What about ME? What about MY satisfaction? I choose to stand by these boys and it gets me nowhere. The 2007-2008 Mooseheads - Nothing, the 2008-2009 Sea Dogs - Nothing, my string of real life boyfriends - Nothing.

Where is my President's cup? Where is my satisfaction? You selfish bastards - all of you. It is like I get fucked over, and over, and over again, but to no avail.

She cheered for a goal, she must be happy. She keeps coming back for more, she must be happy. I want to throw things at you.

Why don't you just ask if I am happy? You know what you have to do but you fail to do it. Instead you just keep pounding away: useless trades, aquiring draft picks, bringing in thuggish free agents, reclamation projects. No wins. Can't someone just get the damn job done...

JB says he is being proactive with my secret lovers, the Sea Dogs; and as for the Mooseheads... I think I am settling. We have just grown so comfortable together and I am a sucker for dissatisfaction. I think I am drawn to things that are guaranteed to disappoint. It is my masochistic nature.



*Also of note
Where the fuck do people on message boards come up with their bullshit? Why do I waste my time reading their bullshit? I think it is because I just like getting angry. I refuse to participate in their bullshittery. I have bigger, better trouble to be getting myself into.

Me? I stick with quotes, facts, stuff I actually saw at games, newspaper references, links, things that are clearly bullshit (Claude Giroux is obviously not a hockey playing squirrel), my opinion - which I never tried to pass off as fact, and sexual innuendo. Lots and lots of sexual innuendo.

Bite me.

The Mooseheads lost to the PEI Rocket by a score of 4-0. The best part of the game was when Charles Bety had Brandon Street's face in his crotch. Oh, and Bobby Nadeau's existence... that is also nice.

Wuest - Lineup: Rocket at Mooseheads
Wuest - Game notes: Rocket 4, Mooseheads 0

Well that lasted long

According to Matthew Wuest, newly acquired Czech winger Radek Vlasanek has quit the Mooseheads. Radek played two games with the Moose but remained off the points sheet. According to Wuest: Vlasanek "did not feel comfortable in Halifax. " Oopsie. There goes a 6th round draft pick.

My guess is he did not want to do that "celebrity waiter" gig that the team held today at Boston Pizza to raise money for Special Olympics.

In an article in yesterday's Northern Light newspaper the Titan explain the situation surrounding Radek's time in Bathurst and his departure.

After seeing him in action over the last month, Couturier said the team decided Vlasanek wasn't bringing anything to the team that some of its younger players could.

"At first, we didn't expect to keep 24 players (to start the season)," he said. "But with the young players coming to camp and doing so well, we decided to go with 24. I talked to Radek and basically, as a 19-year-old European, we felt he has to be on the top two lines and we didn't see him being ahead of our young players at this time."

...Vlasanek was a healthy scratch for his final two games with the Titan, Oct. 3 and 4, and finished his time with the Titan with two goals and one assist in eight games.

"By the second game (he was scratched), we knew we had a deal done," pointed out Couturier. "It was just a question of the league approving the deal. It was something we had talked to Halifax about for a few weeks."

I could comment on this shenaigans but I would rather throw my hands in the air and mutter thusly "grumble grumble grumble fucknuts".

This is the face of our Enemy

Instead of obsessing over hockey today I went out and bought a great new pair of shoes (on sale) and then went to Canadian Tire to purchase some electrical wire so that I could finally hang that lamp in the bedroom (1 year and counting). When I returned home I put on the new shoes, clicked the heels – there’s no place like ‘win’ and checked the QMJHL website.

We were halfway through our game against the Eagles and much to my joy and surprise we were defeating them 2-1. Then the game came to a standstill, the little box on my screen - it did nothing. Oh sure shots on goal increased, penalties were handed out, but there was no change in score. There it stayed 2-1, five minutes later – still 2-1, and again five minutes after that 2-1. Oh hooray for us. With about three minutes left to go I dusted my hands of the Eagles – good game boys, and walked away to install my long-suffering-in-a-box modern pendant. The boys will live without me, I have more ‘growed-up’ things to do.

The lamp looks great. It took forever to determine the height and location but it does indeed look great. Yes, the world is awesome. We won our first pre-season game against the Eagles and I finally installed that damn pendant lamp. What do you mean we didn’t defeat the Eagles? They used their only two 20 year olds on today’s roster to pull out a goal in the final two minutes of the game, and then went on to defeat us in the shootout. Awwww muther son-of-a crap. There is Eagle egg all over our faces. Ewwwww. It looks like it was one of those typical Mooseheads games too, where we throw everything on net (45 shots) and still manage to lose.

Scoring started with Eagles overage defenceman Lamontagne slipping an unassisted goal (of unknown quality or variety) past Mathieu Corbeil. In the dying minutes of first period Randell (assisted by Grant and Piette) got the Moose on the board to tie up the game. About halfway through the second period one of my lower totem new boyfriends Linden Bahm put the Moose ahead on a goal assisted by Mr. Gabe. Cue my entrance, joy, testing new lipliners, more joy, lamp hanging and inevitable sorrow.

Some wee sprig named Maximilien Le Sieur drove a steak through my heart by putting a puck past Dumaresque’s lithe goalie body with only 1 minute and 20 seconds remaining in the game. Lamontagne and Murd (I just like saying Murd) gave him the puck with which to do the dirty deed.

Snow, O’Brien and Grant were unable to satisfy me in the shootout. Instead it was Cape Breton’s Jean-Christophe Gauthier who dropped by, did the wham, bam thank-you ma’am and ended the game. Alex Newman gets the win for Cape Breton after allowing no goals in 17 shots during the final half. Damn it.

Oh, and to top it off our third round draft pick Alex Lemieux just up and leaves because he does not want to share me with the other boys. That leaves us with only one 16 year old player (Desjardins) for the roster this year. Then the Moose told me that I cannot have defenceman Caldwell or forwards Fulton, Reiss and Jessome either. The Moose brass are stricter than the old nuns at a Catholic School.

Here, read this story about some of our young forwards by Willy Palov from the Chronicle Herald. Maybe it will make you feel better.

Hmmmmmmmm, What up Corsi?

Wha?
Despite previous reports (Friday, August 1st) that 20 year old former Mooseheads Centreman PJ Corsi had signed a contract with the Charlotte Checkers, an ECHL affiliate of the NY Rangers, an article from Drummondville newspaper L'express (published August 2nd) actually denies these reports.

According to L'express, while Corsi's camp concedes that talks with the Checkers are very advanced, the truth remains that as of August 2nd he had not yet signed with them. This is because his main focus is to secure a place at an upcoming NHL training camp. His interest is not to play exclusively in the ECHL, but to instead play for an organization that can offer him a contract linked to the AHL or NHL.

Apparently Corsi has had plenty of offers from the likes of Tampa Bay and Pittsburgh affiliates, but because they could not offer him a place at their NHL or AHL training camps he has turned them down. The Rangers, however, have at least guaranteed him a spot at the Hartford Wolfpack training camp. No contracts have yet been signed because the Rangers cannot guarantee Corsi a try out with the big club.

Also, if Corsi fails to report to Drummondville due to acquiring a professional contract, the Mooseheads will owe the Voltigeurs some compensation. When we originally traded Corsi this year at the draft (to complete the Bouchard trade at Christmas) it was for 3rd, 4th and 7th round draft picks in 2008 and a 4th in 2009.

Damn, are we not already screwed enough? We are beyond sore!!! It appears as if we will owe them 2 future draft picks should PJ actually fail to report to Drummondville.

A quickie

Hockey Canada has posted the results of the latest scrimmage from the men's under 18 training camp. The game was tied 2:2. Screaming Eagles netminder Olivier Roy (team White) made a boo boo that allowed for the first goal of the game and Maxime Clermont (Gatineau) allowed both goals against team Red, one of which was scored by Matt Brown (Moncton).


Nathan over at the Asylum had a lot of Q links that need following up on, so I suggest you just go check out his mad house.

One thing I must link to however is a hockey news article about Maxime Sauve (Val d'Or). Maxime is endowed with one of my highest honours by being dubbed 'les Sourcils' but he is also a source of frustration for me, and not only because of our past...for I am sure that as a member of an opposing team, he will continue to frustrate me for years to come. For you see, my team could have had 'les Sourcils' were it not for a desperate grab to get 'the hometown hero' for all of 4 months. We gave in and partook in a three way, and like all three ways, we came out of it feeling a bit huseliused.

For those who do not know (everybody who follows the Q knows...and they point and laugh), during the Christmas trade period the Mooseheads traded our MIA 2007 first round draft pick David Gilbert (age 16) and a couple of future draft picks to Quebec for Maxime Sauve (age 17) . Then we turned around and traded Maxime Sauve and a couple more futures (including first rounders) to Val D'Or for Brad Marchand (age 19).

The logic behind this fuck-fest was that Brad Marchand is a 'proven winner'. He won a President's cup in his rookie season with Moncton, he got to the QMJHL finals with Val D'Or, and he was a member of 2 gold medal winning Canadian IIHF under 20 teams. Also, being a hometown boy, he would put butts in the seats...and put butts in the seats he did.

However, it turns out that Brad (26GP, 10G, 19A = 1.115 PPG ) was barely more productive in the second half of the season than Maxime Sauve (32GP, 14G, 19A = 1.031 PPG) who was playing on a far weaker team. It was excessively frustrating to watch him play goal-less game after goal-less game. He was all moves, no finish; all dazzle, no razzle; all fuckidy-fuck, no orgasm. Furthermore, Brad's tenure with the Mooseheads was frought with the rumor that he was disruptive, had an attitude problem, and induced a schism in the locker room.

We (sadly) will never know what takes place in hockey locker rooms (naked towel fights?). What we do know is that the Mooseheads played like poo for most of their second half and ultimately crashed and burned in the playoff semi-finals, getting swept by the Gatineau Olympiques following two heartbreaking OT losses at home and two complete ass whoopins on the road...and in his very last ever game as a QMJHL player Marchand was benched.

Only time will tell how these boys compare, but since both Sauve and Marchand will be tested at the same Big Club - the Boston Bruins, it will make for about as fair a comparison as one could make. Their fate is in the hands of Chiarelli. But what I am really pissed off about is the eyebrows.

We traded Sauve (left) for Marchand (right). Un-fucking believable.

Arg Arg Arg some more

More news from Wuest.

As reported in Metro Halifax today, Bryce Swan is getting a look from the Detroit Red Wings as a free-agent tryout. But what's to become of Pier-Olivier Pelletier?

Pelletier was close to earning a contract with the Red Wings as a free-agent tryout last fall, but the Red Wings decided to send him back to junior for another year. He was immediately shipped from Drummondville to Halifax to play for the Mooseheads, where his season flopped.

By mid-February, backup Mark Yetman had taken over, and Pelletier found himself on the bench for the entire playoff run while Yetman sparkled.

Needless to say, Pelletier doesn't appear to have any NHL takers this season, and that might mean starting at an American Hockey League camp and working his way up.

See this is exactly what I was talking about. Does Wuest read my blog? HaHa sucker - I am so useless no one should be reading my tripe.

Oohhhh poor P-O!!! Cooooooooo. I have sooooo missed coooooing at you. I do adore you so! Your situation sucks more than life itself. Being my pretty pretty cooo liebe is the only thing you have to live for...that and your actual life. Do carry on!

I sooooo have a rant. I do! I just can't formulate it right now. It involves me using my mad 'looking up stats skills' and I rant on about how someone else is neigh but a douche with the worlds most boring 'game', but it is supper time and I have to eat.

I am soooo going to edit this post later.

Lobsters could design a better website.

According to the Mooseheads fan focus committee the only problem with our website is that the scores of games are not posted quickly. In fact a few "FFC members indicated that the website was very good". The FFC must be made up of the kind of people who believe the internet to be a series of tubes.

The Mooseheads FFC members have clearly never gotten in their pod and tubed their way over to the wildcats website. The Cats have a player history record stemming back to their inaugural year which includes stats, team pictures, game pictures, bios and sometimes video. Hey look - it's Johnny Oduya. The Wildcats have set up a Youtube video page where they have posted some interviews with their shiny new draftees. I will be stalking on the Wildcats webpage all next year to find info on my unrequited love Tyler Noseworthy (mmmm video) and my new cuddling partner Louis Boileau-Domingue. When watching the Noseworthy video I learned that the boy is actually a Newf...ahhhhh the mysterious lure of the Newfoundlander. I thought it was awfully strange for me to be so drawn to a forward from Dartmouth, but now I know why I am under his thrall.

Next up is the Sea Dogs website. The Sea Dogs do not have a good player history record, but they do have a Youtube page and they post picture stories every few weeks. The Sea Dogs rock my socks not only because of their focus on defense, but also because like a few of the other teams in the league (eg, Lewiston, Moncton, Rouyn-Noranda) they have a professional photographer. Thus game day photos are available for all the world to see and squee. The Sea Dogs have posted pictures and a video from draft day. Hey, there is Captain Alex and Kirky. Awwww Kirky is so 'Kirky'. Michael Kirkpatrick has just inspired me to coin a new adjective, and for that he gets a cookie.

Le Titan have no videos, but draft day pictures abound. Like the goalie hungry MFs they are, they not only acquired rights to Paul Dorsey, but they also drafted two new goalies Frederic Piche and Guillaume Nadeau. Piche is a ginge - huh, a red-headed French guy - that is crazy talk. Where can I acquire the rights to 10 goalies? I am am looking for a squad of goalies aged 20-36 (Brodeur aged). Please e-mail this info to QMJHLgirl@gmail.com

Even PEI are getting in on the awesome fun of draft video action. They have also taken team photos and created bios for all of their draftees which are now posted on their website.

Cape Breton, being the unfortunately poor island nation they are, stuck with their motto "Think Cape Breton First" and drafted hometown boy Logan Shaw. As a homer he won't think that Sydney is the most depressing place to play in the whole Q. Even the Eagles have a video of Logan's ceremonious walk to the podium to bathe in the pixie dust that James Sheppard sprinkles everywhere he goes. The Eagles also have their own Youtube account. Their Youtube page has video interviews with OUR PLAYERS.

Then the Mooseheads give us this.

I haven't even included the teams from the other divisions. I am pretty sure that Victoriaville have a good online record of their player history. Draft photos are up already - which is good because it allows me to prepare an eyebrow club invitation in advance to their 7th round pick Vincent Tessier. If Vincent makes the team he is automatically accepted into the club. Now we can peep at high res pictures of new puppy Brandon Hynes (who looks stoned) and Antoine Tardif's brother Alexandre.