...but jessyko never liked you back

Yes, the 2010 QMJHL draft has started and yes, I still care. It is just that I am trying to write a PhD thesis here and eventually getting a real job with real pay is slightly (just slightly) more important than blogging about one of the world's most disappointing Jr hockey teams during their (VERY EXTENDED) offseason.

So today Cam Russell pulled the trigger on his first move of the trade period and swapped my beloved Jessyko Bernard to the Rouyn Noranda Huskies for a 5th round pick in 2011. Basically, Jessyko has less value to Cam than a used jock strap stuffed with old banana skins. I (and, like, everyone else on the planet) always got the feeling that Cam was not fond of Jessyko.

BUT I WAS.

My "real" boyfriend tried to put it into terms to make me have a slightly reduced case of the sads after I whined "Why do my feelings not matter?"

He said "... but Jessyko never liked you back".

Pure lies. I am sure of it. I am so crazy it is nothing but absolutely adorable. Right Jessyko?

I would wear a 50 pound beard of bees for that boy...

...or just this shirt.

???

I am swamped.

Moose lost to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies by a score of 4-2. Moose goals were by Bety and the one armed man*, Knotek and Lemieux had the assists.

Cookies to the one armed man: he can hit, he can score, and he can use that one good hand to...

I have nothing to say today because I cannot really talk about a game I only half-ass-ed-ly listened to, so I will leave you with news links that I can update when they become available.

Q-files (Wuest) - Moose lose 4-2 to Huskies
Glenn MacDonald - Eagles win in OT, Mooseheads fall to 1-8 after loss to Huskies
Halifax Metro (Wuest) - Weekend split a big boost for struggling Mooseheads

Things to take note of:

1. I need to stop getting confused and excited (aroused?) when Moore says Yetman
2. Moore also has to stop getting confused when he says Yetman (it is Brad, not Mark)
3. Yuri won 7 of 8 faceoffs...but had no shots on net.
4. Knotek won 16 of 27 faceoffs.
   
5. Gabe (the first) only layed one hit. He is friendly to friends.
6. I was so excited about Hannay getting to play and then he took a roughing penalty that resulted in a R-N goal. It is like he is not even house broken. Bad puppy.

______________________________
*Gerrad Grant

I want to go to there.

Tonight (or last night, semantics) the Mooseheads defeated the Rouyn Noranda Huskies by a score of 3-1. Two in a row baby, ohhh yeah. Unfortunately that team we are trying to catch up to, Val d'Or, also got 2 points tonight.

Bah who cares, Moose won!!! Goals were by Bety (from Grant and Randell), Cheremetiev (from Bernard) and Gerrad Grant (from Travis Randell). The lone Huskies goal was by Benoit Gervais.

The Moose had only 22 shots on net but were still able to get 3 past Audette. Yetman faced 37 shots, and turned away 36 for the win.

Kitten
Look at those hands. mmmm. The left one. mmmmmm. Now look at those legs. mmmmm. They do the kickiest things. mmmmmm. I want to go to there.*
... but you knew that already. You damn well guaranteed it! I hate you for that ;) yet still....
Get your sleep. You are not sleeping. This I know!!! How you continue to function is beyond me.

Oh Bona,
The shot blocking/pee dances. I can't believe we killed off that 5 on 3. Sure your shot blocking looks like funny pee dances, but please don't stop. Please, please, please don't stop.

PenDerrrrr and O'Connor. Thanks for the fights.

Jessyko. Why so few and why such short shifts? You still look worn out. Is the groin still bugging you or am I just blind?

Bahm. Sorry about the hit, and the blood - but the fact that you played a full two periods after that as a mouth breather with plugs in your nose was awesome.

Game Stars :

1. HAL - Yetman, Mark
2. ROU - Ostapchuk, Sergey
3. HAL - Grant, Gerrad

Links:
Wuest: Herd Fights for Victory
Wuest: Game Notes: Mooseheads 3, Huskies 1.
Herald Sports: Mooseheads make it two in a row.
Rik's game photos.

* Line from 30 rock. You really should be watching it! And yes...I have been drinking!

Trapped in the basement

Four points down into that basement. I suddenly don't feel all that bad about losing to Val d'Or, since the Moncton Wildcats also lost to them, 4-2. So the Foreurs are now 4 points up on the Mooseheads. Whatever, they are the ones who have to live in Val d'Or; they suffer enough.

The Mooseheads headed to Noranda to take on the Huskies last night, and were shut out AGAIN, 3-0. This is the fourth time they have been shut out this season. The Moose were also shut-out by Drummondville, Quebec and PEI. Live and learn.

I am OK with another loss because the guys looked feisty, but am disturbed because a shutout for the Huskies makes Lafleur look and feel all fancy with his 22 saves. He is NOT that fancy.

Travis Randell (F) and Scott McDonald (D) were sitting out. I am not sure if they were healthy scratches, but Randell has been scratched for two games now. If he is sick**, I may have gotten whatever he has from listening to his colour commentary. I don't feel so great, and I have no one here to take care of me. I have been abandoned by my boyfriend. Randell has received a single temporary cookie for his colour commentary and his kicky Newf accent.

There are game photos to be seen.

Stuff:
1) I did not catch most of the game, and cookie distribution is difficult when the team gets shut out, but my gut tells me that Charles Bety is my man for last night. In what little bits of the game I did see, he was skating fancy and working hard. He should share them with Amyot for his stick checking skills.

2) I don't know why Cam pulls the goalie when we are down by two goals. I mean, I know WHY... but I don't know why. If this team can't get a goal 5 on 4, why the hell does anyone think they are going to get a goal 6 on 5 (let alone two goals), with more guys clogging up the shooting lanes. Has it happened at all this year? Have they ever gotten that last minute goal? I know that at least one of those times the Moose DID NOT ALLOW an empty net goal.

3) Not only does the power play suck (now at 14%) but the team gave up ANOTHER short handed goal last night. Pender lost the puck at the blueline. Their 36 power play goals this year are offset by having allowed 12 short handed goals.

4) Yetman did redeem himself last night, allowing only 2 goals in 25 shots (only 4 dangerous).
Mark is more than adequate in the shootout --> stopping 15 of 20 shots, but he is not so hot when facing a breakaway. It is practically the same thing, but the end result is drastically different. What is the mental disconnect? Maybe he is facing lots of breakaways (true) and stopping 75% ( most likely not) but I am just not keeping track.

5) There were three fights. It was fisticufftastic: Boland vs Lossier, Pender vs Bérubé, and Bahm vs Lossier. I only saw the Bahm fight - he is delightfully scrappy.

6) Sergey Ostapchuk had all three goals for the Huskies. Brad Yetman had an assist. Big brother Yetman gets a grade of only 50% because he allowed Brad to get points.

7) Moose were 0/3 on the PP. Huskies were 1/7. At least the Penalty kill was good, but the Moose have to be more disciplined. They can't kill 6 of 7 on most good days.

8) Jessyko Bernard and Linden Bahm are still throwing their weight around, but the rest of the team have slowed down.

9) Some Anonymous Brad Yetman fan/secret lover/zombie-dick sucker from St. John's claims that I fail at life. I don't disagree. He simply does not know how hard I fail at life! He, however, may also fail at some aspect of life since it took him ~ 5 hours, between the time he discovered my post and the time he decided to comment, to come up with his witty remark. I assume it takes most Newfs at least 5 hours to string together one properly spelled sentence.*

10) My poor team is spending superbowl Sunday in a bus. What an unfortunate situation. Boys like football, right?

11) Stransky has stopped getting goals. His production has become inconsistent either because he is being shut down, he has finally caught Moose fever, or Cam won't keep him with some functional linemates. In any case, he is a true Moosehead now.

12) Sorry Moose, but I can't lie to you. Your coaches confuse me and make my head hurt.

13) Six game losing streak. Next game --> Montreal Junior.

* I am not prejudice against Newfs. I can't be. I'm from Cape Breton.
** Randell has a sprain. This thing in my throat is definitely not a sprain.

Olympiques vs Rouyn Noranda game 5: done

How appropriate that I spend my drunken fun evening with a boy who is the spitting image of Claude Giroux - the 'Piques win the President's cup by defeating the Huskies 7-3. I called that boy Claude all night...I do not think he appreciated it. More later. For now check out QMJHL for all the scoring details. Game 5 photos are also available for viewing at the Huskies website.


________________________________________

Another interview with Ryan Mior is available online at St John's The Telegram.

The telegraph journal also has an article discussing the Sea Dogs Alexandre Picard-Hooper's acceptance to McGill and his role next year with the Redmen.

Olympiques vs Rouyn-Noranda Game 4: This is for the Ds

What can I say? - the ‘piques are on a roll. They have defeated the Huskies 4-1 and now lead the series 3-1 heading back to Rouyn-Noranda for a game on Friday. I can even see an evolution in their game from when they were playing in Halifax at the Metro Centre during round three, as compared to their games now. They are playing smoother as a unit, their passing seems better, pucks are connecting tape to tape to tape, and there seems to be less stupid turnovers in the neutral zone (but that could just be due to the larger size of our ice surface). They are still keeping it tight in front of their net.

I am not going to comment too much on the game since I was not really paying attention, but Byron (yeah!!! again) had 1 goal, 2 assists. Unfortunately, I have very few pictures of him, either because he is too small to see behind all of those other players or he is too fast for my camera. Instead I will give you a picture of Byron WITH Matthew Pistilli – who was a getter of 2 assists during last night’s game.

It is hard to tell who is who when you are watching the Telus feeds, especially with no volume (I was TV multitasking) but when the volume was on, one name I did hear over and over was that of Joey Ryan. Oh Joey Ryan, I don’t know how wonderfully defensey you were being to make your commentators scream with joy like that, but if I do say so, it sounded good for them. Was it good for you?

Tell Ryan Mior he can read to me from his text books or throw me up against a wall anyday. All that puck handling and a 0.966 save% not only gets him A) the flinging of my panties in his general direction, but he can also exchange his game winning puck for B1) a coffee date, B2) a romantic walk along the water front, B3) extensive cooing with the fluffy hair smelling, the seductive breathing in the ear, and the neck caressing, B4) things I dare not say on this blog in case P-O or Travis Fullerton find out I have been making advances on goalies other than them.

Dear Ryan, don't tell my other goalies I said rowwwrr.

Halifax seems to have forgotten that there is a QMJHL final going on. They are not covering this in our newspaper. However, there are some good stories to be had where hometown boys are concerned:

Saint John NB’s newspapers have had some write-ups concerning the finals (game 3), as well as a story about Brad Tesink of the Acadie-Bathurst Titan

Ryan Mior has an interview with the St John’s Nfld newspaper- I am loving his down to earth attitude and winning ways. Does anybody know which university he is enrolled with and if he will be playing in the Maritimes next year?

Cape Breton loves the Huskie’s Brett Morrison and Jarrad Struthers, as such the Cape Breton Post have been covering this last round of the playoffs from day 1 - See here for a story on Morrison and Struthers and here for a write up on Game 2.

Olympiques vs Rouyn-Noranda Game 3: the doughnut game

Oh My. The Gatineau Olympiques were at it again. If the Moose thought we did poorly in Gatineau’s barn at least we can say we did not get a load of double digits to the face. The Olympiques defeated the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies 10-4 and now lead the series 2-1 heading into a second home game at the Centre Robert-Guertin.

I have been such a bum this week. Getting dumped is no fun. I have been drunk dialing my Mooseheads boyfriends at 2:00am and yelling at them. Then I ask them to take me back. Then I yell some more, then I hang up. Drink and repeat. I swear I can hear another girl in the background, giggling, mocking me, calling me pitiful. I will have no more of it. I knew I had hit my low when I had no sleep on Sunday night, and then on Monday I had poutine for lunch with a Boston-cream donut chaser. I desperately need a haircut, I haven’t exercised since the Seadogs were booted and I have had the worst drunken headaches.

I must thank IPB for a swift kick in the ass. In an attempt to counteract my slum, I dug out my playoff goggles, put them on and actually watched the game last night to help get me out of the QMJHL stupor I have been in since losing my team. Mind you, prior to the start of the game I had two martinis. This was followed by my typical exercise routine...albeit a slightly more drunken version. It is all so pitiful, especially since I was watching hockey in French, a language I barely understand.

I have to get ready to get back on the scene – Canada has called and I have accepted a date for May 12^th. It is going to be fab.

If Byron (#20) was a kick in the shins to the Mooseheads, then for all intents and purposes he is the Huskies' poutine and Boston-cream donut. I wonder if they are left with any self esteem at all after that game. Last night Paul Byron had 4 goals, 2 assists, no penalty minutes, and finished the game a +4. If 3 goals is a hat trick, what is this quadfecta? What should we throw? Not panties - I reserve throwing my panties for goalies. Throwing him a copy of “What’s going on down there?” seems perfectly appropriate. This wee Byron kid is blowing my mind – I don’t know how he does it – at least two of those goals were break away goals. Is he so light and feathery that even the breathing of the defenseman chasing behind him is enough to propel him forwards? He is made of 99% pure hydrogen with just a touch of the Ether all wrapped in a fleshy coating. That’s 32076 moles of hydrogen…and still I am forced to ask - why is nobody trying to break Byron?

Buffalo drafted Byron because they wanted to make Ryan Miller feel fat.

Giroux received 4 more points in the form of 2 goals and 2 assists. All in all, the ‘piques racked up 29 points this game. If you look at overall playoff stats for this season, look up, way up, you can see Giroux at the top with 46 points (15, goals, 31 assists), followed at 27 points by Byron (20 goals, 7 assists) and Prokop (2 goals, 25 assists).

Philly drafted Claude Giroux because they wanted a Danny Briere. Then they went out and bought Danny Briere. Now they have two.

Also, why was Gougeon not pulled after the first 5 goals (all scored in the first period on 14 shots)? It left me thinking – “does this team have so little faith in Pucholt that they will not even try him in nets”? I got my answer in the final minutes of the third when Pucholt allowed 2 goals on 6 shots in 15 minutes. You could tell Rouyn were back to playing desperate hockey, since they were back to taking stupid penalties, and even went so far as to run Mior in the third, possibly in an attempt to phase him for game 4 (just as Shawinigan had done in round one). Not that Mior was fantastic, he allowed 4 goals on 22 shots, but he did make a nice stretchy pad save, and he also did something else exciting when I was not paying attention. Hey, I was drunk and exercising…how much attention span do you think I have? I ultimately blame the live Telus feeds and their lack of replays.

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I have been nagging my girlfriend about how she should know more QMJHL players from Cape Breton, if for no other reason than the fact that she is age appropriate and her boyfriend played hockey for years (although she refused to acknowledge this as she hates hockey). We already know about her encounters with BS, but I needed to know if she knows more boys so I started naming names. It turns out that one of her friends from school is Michael Kirkpatrick's sister, she remembers baby Kirky. The next time she goes to CB I am sending some cookies for him, as well as a certificate for his parents to sign which will allow for the transferring of all parental rights over to me.

Rouyn-Noranda vs Olympiques Game 2: Sorry Huskies, I did you wrong

I have been slow at writing my Q update because of IIHF fever, NHL fever and oh, yeah, that pesky hour long presentation I have been preparing for Monday - the only thing not getting done is the presentation. I sit here mid-Stars vs Sharks (after the second OT) trying to rejuvenate my mind with a little shot of Brett Morrison. Brett is a wee spriggin' looking fellow who has been tossed around the Q (Gatineau, PEI, Rouyn-Noranda) and passed over for two drafts before getting a tryout with the oilers and finally being taken fifth round in the 2007 draft by Anaheim. Brett looks good for a boy from Cape Breton, so spriggin' (like Kirky), so clean, so fresh and so tidy - thus so much different than boys like handlebar 'stache Swan, Joey Haddad, Murd MacLellan or Ryan Sparling (who, although he looks clean, you just know he is pure evil). Yes Brett is from Cape Breton and he has pixie face - it is possible.

The Rouyn-Noranda Huskies did a complete 180 and defeated the Gatineau Olympiques 6-2. Brett was the playingest player with 1 goal and 3 assists. Michael Debuc also potted 2 goals and 1 assist. The Huskies scored 5 unanswered goals in the first two periods, driving Ryan Mior from the nets. Mior is a mad man, he could do anything. Is he angry, will he be back with a vengeance, have the Huskies been slaughtered in their sleep? We will not know until May 6th.

Gatineau were finally able to respond with two goals in the third by Prokop and Chabot, before pulling my new 'baby boyfriend' and 'cuddling partner' Maxime Clermont from the nets in the final minutes of the game. Huskies finished them off with an empty net goal by Debuc. The Olympiques then had to put 'Cuddly Clermont' back in nets because they knew they were boned. You can check out the scoring recap at the QMJHL website. Pictures can be seen at the Huskies website.

I was also wrong by saying that the Huskies would not be able to keep their penalties down, but they only allowed 4 and killed off all of them. In the meantime they got 4 of their 6 goals on the power play with a 80% pp efficiency. I am going to have to give props to 'the Gouge' for his 0.935 save % and the fact that he had an assist. Mind you he only faced 6 dangerous shots. Props come in the form of a picture - a picture from his days as a Volt because I have no good pictures from his visit as a Huskie.

Maxim Gougeon is seen here lookin' like a Volt but he is really a Huskie. I call this seeing the world through Volt coloured glasses.

We should all still be trying to guess what the 'piques secret weakness is.

_______________________________________

Dear Carey Price
I still totally heart you. How could a girl stay angry at a boy with those sad puppy dog eyes? Do you want to cuddle, because I would totally be down with that. No, keep the gear on!!!

Rouyn-Noranda vs Olympiques, Game 1: Just as I predicted.

In all the fuss over the IIHF, I almost forgot about the QMJHL finals. I am lying, I could never forget about the QMJHL finals especially since I saw half of my returning team last night at the Metro Centre watching IIHF hockey when I was hoping to see them in Rouyn Noranda actually playing hockey. Well no, actually I was hoping to see Saint John in Halifax, but that was hoping for a lot.

The Rouyn-Noranda Huskies faced off against the Gatineau Olympiques at the Arena Dave Keon. The Huskies lost 6-2 on home ice. Photos are available through the Huskies official photographer - Michel Fortin's site.

I mean geeze Huskies, at least we lost in OT on home ice. You are going to have to do better than that. Unfortunately they cannot, Gatineau have some big snipers, and despite all the fuss about how well 'the Gouge' has been for the Huskies in these playoffs, he was not really that good against Saint John and I don't expect much more from him facing the Olympiques.

Captain Jean-Philip Chabot had a hat trick and Squirrels Giroux netted one goal and had three helpers. Paul Byron and Gerrit Fauser rounded out Gatineau's scorers. Pistilli, Prokop, and Labrie helped out with a number of assists. Hubert Labrie also has a quick hits interview that you can read on the QMJHL sight right now.

Claude Giroux is a rabid squirrel, nibbling and clawing his way to the top of the Q with 41 points, 15 points more than his nearest competitor. This is why Philly fans should rejoice.

Tyler Hawes and Yannick Riendeau scored for the Huskies. The Huskies PK did not look so good as they allowed the Olympiques to get 4 goals on 6 powerplay attempts. They are either going to have to get back to shutting down the opposing team's power play or smartening up and not taking so many penalties (not likely). If their pride is the offensiveness of their defense and not the defensiveness of their defense...the Huskies are screwed. However, I was looking over the game photos and it does look like they were smart enough to hurt Byron. The Piques are wee tiny things and should be easy to break. Was Groulx being literal when he leaked that his team have a weakness.

Gougeon allowed 5 goals on 34 shots (0.85 save %) whereas Mior allowed only 2 goals on 27 shots (0.926 save %). Mind you, Gougeon is not as easy to dislike with a full beard,when compared to his normal meticulously groomed cornucopia of hair-douchebaggery, but I will stick with Mior because he still looks as wonderfully psychotic as ever.

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Team USA cannot afford name plates on their jerseys, or matching gloves, or team USA helmets and pads for their goalie. That country is just Ghetto. This is war time people, America must conserve its resources. It was fun not having a game schedule and trying to guess the team USA players by face alone (many did not have their usual team numbers). Like I am going to recognize someone from the St Louis Blues - HA. Boyfriend was useless, he has no idea what Paul Martin looks like. Neither of us knew who David Backes was (sorry Backes). We still managed to recognize 3/4 of the team by face alone. Here is the USA roster.

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 4. 23 individual kisses.

I did a play by play of the game. Yeah I suck.

1^st period

Keven, Keven, Keven, Wooooooo. Sea Dogs get the first goal

A couple of incidents of sustained pressure on Fully in the first 10 minutes – looking good boy.

Huskies defense = diving not for the player or the puck but for their own net. Uhhhh how is this not a penalty

Vishnevskiy on delay of game – please take advantage of this Sea Dogs. All these guys do is get penalties.

Howes Howes Howes woooooooooo. 14 goals in the playoffs bitches. 2 PP goals this game for the Sea Dogs.

No dogs – stop with penalties.

Liske - one excellent way to kill a penalty is to be offensey. Smart boy.

Stich clears. More awesome than possum – PK killed

Gallant penalty – check from behind. Are you Bouchard? You get penalties for being you!

Fully Fully Fully – off the chest – pffff don’t shoot there stupid Rouyn!

Booo Huskies score a PP goal on a make up call. Don’t give up dogs!

Giguère ties the game with a shot through the 5 hole in a 5 on 5. Don’t give up dogs. No more turn overs.

Rouyn’s Riendeau fires a shot off the cross bar

Fully - relax, breathe, relax. Hugs.

2nd period

Hawes (Rouyn) fires a shot off the post

Fully - relax, breathe, relax… nice save. Breathe relax

Simon noooooooooo. High sticking penalty

Damn – Huskies goal by Desjardins

Sea Dogs – Keep the Huskies boys away from the net for those rebounds. Tight box, tight box.

The Sea Dogs go on the PP on a Huskie’s slash

The puck is stick checked out of Huskies zone

Keep up the pressure boys

Howes goal. Woooooooooo. Game tied 3-3.

Morrison making pressure for Huskies, goal

Fully – breathe relax breathe

Time out for Sea Dogs. JB talking to Fully – I bet he is saying breathe, relax, breathe.

I almost don’t want to tune into the Mooseheads game when it starts in ohhhh 15 minutes.

Grant makes pressure – Gougeon saves. Announcers said Gougeon looks funny. Like, no duh!!! Have you seen him play before? No, he did not have some of the best stats for the season- what are you looking at color commentator guy!

Thomas penalty – stop it with penalties Sea Dogs

Sparling slash or Dido penalty? What? Both!!! But they kill penalties - Sea Dogs need them. Huskies get a 5 on 3 for at least two minutes.

People are throwing shit on the ice. Wouldn’t that be funny if they were actually throwing shit on the ice – like monkeys these folk from Saint John are – crazy monkeys

Grant blocks, then clears the puck. Cleared again.

Breathe, relax, breathe. No goal for Rouyn - high stick

Fully stops a one timer

Pressure still on. Cleared.

5 on 3 done. Still 5 on 4 for the Huskies for over a minute

Cleared from the Sea Dogs zone by Gauthier

Make up call for Dogs. Huskies penalty. 4 on 4 hockey. Make up calls are for chumps. They just show that refs are fools. Refs and their stupid zombocracy.

Dogs on PP for about 1:30

Penalty killed by Huskies.

Kevey (can I call you Kevey, Mr Charland?) shoots – Gougeon saves

The boards are scaring me. Pressure in the Sea Dogs zone. Després gets the puck out.

Huskies get back in but Thomas clears the puck

Fully saves on Carpentier, then loses his stick. Breathe, relax, breathe

Gauthier hauled down on a breakaway. Where the hell is the penalty shot!!!!

Simon - there is a Husky in your back pocket – too cute. There is also a dead yellow rat on your head - less than cute.

Shot by Grant- Gougeon stops puck, smothers it with his wee tiny body.

Kirky from Grant whoooooooooo goal

Kirky Kirky Kirky cookie.

Tied going into 3^rd.

Must go to Moose
I will check in during our intermission.

3^rd period

Fully kneeling in his net- goal review again (shades of when I tuned in last night) – no goal

Pad saves are sexy

So are blocker saves

Penalty expires, yet Sea Dogs get another penalty on Stich. Damn

8 PP for the Huskies so far this game.

Cleared from the Sea Dogs zone, back in but cleared again by Grant

Fully - Motherfucker what an excellent glove save at about 10 minutes in. You rock my world. That was better than foreplay. I am now good to go.

Shot over the boards – no penalty.

Riendeau goal (from Macenauer and Carpentier). Huskies lead.

Fully – breathe relax breathe

Dogs – careful hockey no desperate penalties.

Hooray - PP for the Sea Dogs.

Fully are you having equipment problems? – no blocker shenanigans. They are not showing you on the camera. This happened to Roy in CB and Benda had to come in for a minute.. stupid rule huh?

Grant – get it on net next time please.

Save on a breakaway, Save on the wraparound – Dear Fully, here is my bra.

Dido and Sparling putting on the pressure in the Huskies zone.

Cleared by the Huskies

Pressure in Sea Dogs end – damn

Less than two minutes left.

Empty Seadogs net

Huskies clear the puck - icing. This is the longest 30 seconds of my life.

What are we waiting for this time. Adding time to the clock – OK

Cleared again. Icing

Ohhhh poor Dogs. Sea Dogs lose 5-4. The Rouyn Noranda Huskies take the the series 4-0.

I love you. Here are 23 individual kisses.

20 year olds get stars. – Fully gets 3^rd star.

Sea Dogs. Go out and get drunk now. You deserve it.

The Huskies fired 43 Shots on Fullerton, with 26 dangerous shots

The Sea Dogs fired 37 shots on Gougeon with 14 dangerous shots

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 3. Warning – very bad language within.

Sea Dogs
Do we have to talk about this? Do we really? That Sirs was not “playing the trap”! You can’t fool me, I am a NJ Devils fan. Unlike your home town folks I stuck it out. I sat through every last miserable minute of that (while simultaneously watching Washington/Philly). I can’t believe your fans were leaving during the second period. What a bunch of selfish cunts. If I lived in Saint John I would build a little nest amoung the seats in Harbour Station and never leave. I would probably get fat from the food offerings available but maybe I could work it off if you would give me some ice time. I am seriously considering building a little nest at the Metro Centre. I stick around 'till the end, win or lose. I watch the announcement of stars; I clap for the enemy when they are given stars in our barn. I am a good fan. Despite what is happening to you right now, and even though you might not believe it - YOU ARE A GOOD TEAM.

The call back of your second goal was the worst and ended up being a total motivation destroyer for you. The refs just can’t do that. They cannot go back and review a penalty from before the goal occurred. I call bullshit. It is so weird that the same thing happened in Washington except the goal was allowed. Either call the penalty when it happens or let it go. What happened to Washington with the goaltender interference was so much worse than that silly high stick before the goal that was called on your play. Fucking bullshit.

Travis
If it is any consolation, I am an abysmal failure. If I were not, I would be writing my PhD instead of writing this blog. I have forgotten how to write science. Brain freeze happens to the best of us. I hope you have not quit on yourself. Now I actually, really want to hug you in a nurturing way. Allowing 3 goals on 7 shots is hard, and I really feel for you. When I saw the third one slip by you I said “Travis this is not for you, you have to go”. I think you heard me since you just up and skated away from the net. You pulled yourself from the game. You quit. Today is a new day my rough and tumble little goalie. Don’t give up on yourself, you are good enough. I have watched you all year and I believe in you. You brought the team this far. If it were not for you the Sea Dogs would not have been second in the East and definitely would not have made it to the semi-finals of the playoffs. It is a lot of pressure, but right now you have nothing to lose. Forget about the Mayor, forget about the Sea Dogs flag flying over city hall, and forget about the fans. This is just one more hockey game, possibly your last ever QMJHL game. Go out there and play it for you.

P-O
I can’t believe you would take your girlfriend to the Metro Centre. This is where we have our dates. I mean sure I take my boyfriend but he knows about us and he is cool with that. Sir I am offended. Leave now! No wait, stay! No goalie, don’t leave me! No, go! I need my head back and you are a huge distraction! No wait, stay! I want to look at you more. No, go. No, stay. No, wait. I am just going over here to cry.

Boys in the Q- they love you and leave you. I am heartbroken.

If the Moose are going to go down I hope we go down magnificently. I hope you get at least one chance in nets before our playoff run is done and I hope you rock it. I hope you get to continue on in hockey. I hope all the best for you because I have never been more emotionally invested in a little goalie in my whole life.

It smells like the sea today. You are really missing out, the weather here is great. Just thought you might want to know that. Rain was supposed to pour (like my tears) but that is not happening. How is Gatineau? Thundershowers! Overcast, with a 60% POP. That doesn't sound too good for Yeti!

I was happy to see that your girlfriend was not blond. She has perfect porcelain skin and she looks kinda surreal and otherworldly. Somewhat elven like you. Not bad Pier, not bad at all. If you like girls that can sing it is good that you chose her. When I sing, it can only be likened to the sound of clubbing baby seals. Not that I have heard what that sounds like, but I don’t think it would sound pleasant.

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Washington vs Philly:
There are so many turnovers in this series that it is like watching the Mooseheads play the Mooseheads, but with flashier goaltending. I suppose Biron would be Yeti and HueT would be Pelletier.

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News links:

Mooseheads prepare for game 3
Moose staying loose in spite of tough task
Moose will overcome 2-0 deficit
Gatineau stars had the edge

Sea Dogs
Dogs facing elimination

Titan
Taking it to the streets - A Brad Tesink story
Titan handed out Season ending Awards

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 2. Where the hell is Fullerton?

You know what I like – clean cut, clean shaven boys and slick goalies. Combine these two and I melt. So why the hell is Fullerton still turning my crank? He looks like they found a crazy stretchy hobo in Saint John, dressed him up in goalie gear and tossed him into the net. He is also playing like a hobo. I am very disappointed. Then I saw a picture and realized that my crank was still thoroughly turned. When it comes to Fullerton, every logical part of my brain turns to squish, and my brain is mostly logical parts since I am half Vulcan.

The Sea Dogs showed up, got five goals in 25 shots, two on the powerplay (2 of 6), and kept their penalties down to three. Sure they were still bad at faceoffs and still low on hits but they were getting it done in the way the Sea Dogs get it done… somehow and magically. I told the Dogs that if you put the puck on Gougeon he will let them into his net (0.8 save %), but where the hell was Fullerton.

Fully I lust you, but I am taking your picture out of my bra until you find yourself. You are not going to find yourself if you keep your face buried in the ice. Really, 6 goals in 33 shots (0.81 save % - still better than Gougeon). I told you that my goalie assisting love vibes only work for a radius of 500 miles and that your time in Rouyn will be entirely dependant upon your skill, but is your skill that bad…is it all goalie assisting love vibes that keep you going? When you come home you must soak up the love vibes and hold on to them and take them back with you to Rouyn (if you make it back to Rouyn), which means you will have to win at least two of your next three home games. The Sea Dogs could have won had you actually shown up to last night's game. You are at risk of being replaced by Mayer. MAYER. Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh. Suck it up and get back to work bitch. No more losing 7-5.

I am watching Jake Allen on TV as he is playing for Canada in the IIHF under 18 tournament, he kinda scuddles like you. Is this what they teach at you at Alexander Goaltending? It is soooo cute.

Update - We just defeated Finland 2-1 - hooray

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Photos for game two are available at Michel Fortin’s image site

and at the Huskies website for the April 18th game

Mayer got a new helmet

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 1

Let me just say that I need a little French friend to be my translator since all these games broadcast from Rouyn-Noranda are going to be en Francais. I would prefer a slim, 6'2, young French farmboy, with soft fluffy hair, a cute nose, nice chompers and pretty pouty lips. If you can find me a goalie that fits that description - that would be perfect. Since the Mooseheads will be playing Gatineau tonight I hope I can find one that fits that description at the Metro Centre. I will just have to convince him that my intentions are perfectly innocent. Failing that I will take Martin Brodeur since he is out of a job for the rest of the summer.

Oy Dogs, what have you gone and done? I guess that depends on which dogs we are talking to. The Saint John Sea Dogs have lost game one of the semi-final matchup to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies 5-3.

If the question is who adapted better in their special teams, the answer is clearly Rouyn because the Sea Dogs were not able to capitalize on 8 power play opportunities. EIGHT. Furthermore the Sea Dogs were absolutely creamed throughout the game when it came to puck possession. It started so well - two goals in 7 minutes for the Sea Dogs and then they totally slacked off - dumb move. I don't know how many odd man rushes they gave up at the end of the first period, and the second period was absolutely brutal since all the action was in the Sea Dogs end, with Rouyn getting 20 shots on net to the Sea Dogs 5.

After allowing 5 goals on 37 shots, Travis Fullerton was relieved from his duties in nets early in the third period, and Robert Mayer took over, standing strong for the rest of the game. Fully was not pulled due to suckage but supposedly because "It was not for a poor effort on Fullerton's part, but a reprieve from wave after wave of Rouyn-Noranda's offensive attack."

The Sea Dogs were severely out-faceoffed - 45 to 32 (it is too a word!), out-hit (14 to 8), and out-shot (48 to 21). I hope they have learned a valuable lesson from this disaster. These are basic concepts in hockey (except the Gougeon part). Learn them, use them.

1. Your goalie is not a relentless puck stopping machine, he needs help sometimes (0.865 save %).
2. If you take penalties, your opponent gets powerplays
   
3. If they have power plays they will have possession of the puck
   
4. If you hit them you can gain possession of the puck
5. If you have the puck, then Rouyn does not have the puck
6. If you have the puck you can put it on their net
7. If you put the puck on the net Gougeon will let it in (0.8571 save % with 3 dangerous shots).

The three stars of the game were all Huskies: 1) Struthers, 2) Lepine and 3) Giguere. Struthers had two goals for the Huskies, and Debuc, Morrison (how quickly you turn on your Maritime brethren) and Carpentier were also able to find the net. Didomenico, Picard-Hooper and Howes had goals for the Sea Dogs. My sweet little, big defenseman Simon Despres had two assists - Awwwww.

Sea Dogs News
Rookie Specialist - a Kirkpatrick story. They like him because he is a Caper, he is adorable and he fits in your pocket (if you have a really big pocket).
Michael Kirkpatrick - stats
Huskies Rally Past Sea Dogs in Opener

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Pre-game stats

I have already done a brief rundown of goalie stats for the semi-finals, so now I figure it is time to take a look at some of the shooters stats. It has already been stated by the media that special teams will be very important for this series. The Huskies have the most effective penalty kill so far this playoffs with a 90% PK efficiency, however the Sea Dogs have the most potent power play at 32.3%. Of all the teams remaining the Huskies have the worst powerplay at 24.2 % and the Sea Dogs have a PK of 80% - neither of these are necessarily bad numbers for a PP or PK. It will be interesting to see which special teams will be better able to adjust to their new opponents. Unlike the Sea Dogs who have allowed two short handed goals, the Huskies have not allowed any. The Sea Dogs will have to be very careful about not coughing up the puck during their power play.


If we look at shots on net per game (Sea Dogs = 34.2 , Huskies = 35.75) and the number of penalty kills (Sea Dogs = 5.5 , Huskies = 6.25) these teams seem fairly even, however the goalie stats are very different, with Gougon's numbers being much better than Fullerton's. This may be because the Sea Dogs have been allowing many more dangerous shots - 45% of all shots on net for the sea Dogs have been considered dangerous, this is compared to the Huskies 26.6%. Would Gougeon's numbers be as good if 45% of the shots coming his way were actually considered dangerous shots. Dear God, Sea Dogs what the hell are you trying to do to Fullerton? Sea Dogs defense- you must be more defensey.

So while point production is fun and everything, other factors such as shots on net and faceoff wins must also be considered. Here are the top players on either team for a number of non-goalie related statistics.




















I also have more Sea Dogs vs Huskies related new links to share with y'all:
It's Dog eat Dog as Semi's begin
Sea Dogs Brace for Daunting Task


Oh Fully I knew you were done wrong, but I never knew about this Courcelles guy.

"The Lewiston Maineiacs ruthlessly cut their ties with him 1½ years ago after he had an off-season run-in with the law. Fullerton was nailed for drinking and driving during training camp in August, 2006, and then-head coach and general manager Clem Jodoin declared he would not allow a player with that kind of off-ice baggage to play for his team.

"This is not something this team will tolerate," Jodoin told the Lewiston Sun-Journal at the time.

Jodoin sent Fullerton home the very next day and made him wait until December before dealing him to a new team. Incidentally, that didn’t stop Jodoin from finalizing a trade for forward Simon Courcelles the same day he kicked Fullerton off the team, even though Courcelles had been involved in a drinking and driving incident one year earlier."

However, it is a damn good thing because it got you out of Bernier's shadow. Do you want to hug? Yes, this is the softer gentler, non-goalie eating side of me. I just hope P-O and Yeti do not mind that I am so firmly rasping on the left side of your neck...the side with the freckles. Yeah, I don't know what happened to my knickers, they just mysteriously vanished. Hey, I tried to be sweet and gentle but you let me get within 5 feet of you - then your kavorka got to me. You should have known better.

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Dear Yeti

Do you see what Groulx is saying about you? Yes he is mean! Do you need a hug? OK then, let’s nuzzle. You know I love you right? You are my goalie and you know it is my sworn duty to love my goalies even if they play a boring conservative style. Wait – was that mean? Sorry. Here let me hug you tighter. Can I sit in your lap, smell your fluffy pre-game hair, and nuzzle your neck? Your funny neck beard tickles! Anyway, even if something goes wrong don’t forget that we have Pier to back you up and he is brillz. This is something Groulx and I can agree upon.

You have been playing very well, and you have remained cool, calm and collected. While I love goalie rage, you are not generally a rageaholic and you should not become a rageaholic. OK maybe you expressed some rage once, when you unsuccessfully tried to break your stick on the posts and Pier, who had already been pulled, was sitting on the bench doing the neurotic hat on, hat off, hat on thing which he does when he is stressed – but goalie go round will do that to boys. All that gear on your chest cannot protect you from the pain you feel in your fragile goalie mind after a super shitty game. However, goalie rage is just not appropriate at this time of year. If something goes wrong, give yourself a hug, ask Pier for a hug, or find me in the stands and come get your hug. Maybe we should all hug, mmmmmmmmm. Oh, we will work it out somehow.

But don’t worry sweet Yeti, should something bad happen because of that squirrely Giroux, just remember that even Mior has had his off nights during these playoffs. Also, did you see Carey Price last night? He was brutal. I think I even saw him emote – a small wince of pain brought on by the tragedy that was last night’s Habs vs Bruins game. Even Marty #1 has been all moody and out of position lately. It can happen to the best of netminders. Don't let Groulx get to you. Stay strong, the Moose need you to help them put out that Olympique Flame.

At least Voracek is feeling better. He has not been playing like himself lately. He has been good, but not Voracek levels of good - ya know? How this silly Czech robot caught a cyber-virus I will never know. We should keep him offline until the playoffs are done. We need to emerge from meeting three with Gatineau unscathed and ready for a good Dog Fight.

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Mooseheads/Yetman picture from the Chronicle Herald (Eric Wynne)