Some things never change

As you age you learn and you change. My tastes have changed over the years: from the Boston Bruins of my youth to the Toronto Maple leafs of my hockey resurgence to my love of the present day New Jersey Devils. The same goes for my love of Junior teams. While I always wish nothing but the best for the Screaming Eagles my heart now belongs to the Mooseheads.

Playoffs is a nightmare because every few weeks you get to see the one team you throw your tiny coal-black heart-pieces behind get eliminated and then you have to carry on a shallow fling with some team you do not really care about...until they get eliminated too.



Strangely, my love for Tori Amos never changes.

The Screaming Eagles were eliminated from President's Cup contention last night after two consecutive 3-0 losses to the Quebec Remparts, squelching their 3-2 series lead, and crushing the hopes of most Atlantic Division fans.

Now who do I climb between the sheets with? Shawinigan and Timo Pielmeier, Quebec and Charles Lavigne, Drummondville and Marco Cousineau (shudder...give me Tardiff) or Rimouski and Maxim Gougeon (NEVER!)

Can't I just have my team back? From the rambunctious little Gabriel Desjardins to the feisty Justin Pender ...what surprises await us for next season? Now that Pender has had a taste of the pros will he get more? What of Bona and Yetman? Who will get those three coveted 20 year-old positions? Why does Eric Louis-XVI suddenly seem so studly? Will Gabriel O'Connor get drafted to the NHL? Why don't NHL scouts love Alexis Piette as much as the people of Halifax do? Maybe they did not see his "fancy" move! Will any of our behbehs get traded? Will Jessyko Bernard be my new imaginary #1 Mooseheads boyfriend? ....and perhaps most importantly who will join Mathieu Corbeil between the pipes? mmmmm goalie.

Balls

....used as in "if my team had balls every game I could have been watching playoff hockey right now". But alas. Sometimes the defence had balls but the forwards wanted to watch Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes the forwards had balls but the defence wanted to stay at home jerking off to internet porn. Sometimes the forwards and defence had balls but the goalies were standing there just being pussies. Their dicks had totally regressed. This could explain why they were able to let everything go 5-hole.

If they had the balls they would have just rushed up and put their balls on PEI's chin and said "there PEI (1-7-0-1), my balls are on your face" and then they would have won that ONE extra game they needed to make it into the playoffs. Any game between Sept 2008 and March 2009 would have sufficed. I would have paid to watch my boys put their balls on PEI's face.

It just turns out that even if a boy has balls, it doesn't mean that he always has balls. When a boy with balls sees something he wants he will grab it: be it a win, a shot, a hit, a beer or a girlie.

It appears as if sometimes their balls were not at the Metro Centre with the boys, perhaps left in some girl's hands back in Cole Harbour or Dartmouth (or where ever the hell they live). There were even instances where they forgot their balls at home when they went on the road. Boys would get interviewed in the local newspaper and they would promise me 40 balls on the ice that night and I would get to the arena and only see 24 balls out there...and none of them were on the opposition's face. Way to say you were bringing your balls, then not bring your balls Moose!
...and sometimes Cam would put Yuri on the 4th line.

There is just no rationalizing these things.

Which is why I am left to report the playoff outcomes for the 16 other teams in the league:

BaC	1	Que	8	-	Final
PEI	1	Mon	7	-	Final
SNB	4	Cap	5	OT	Final
Bat	4	Gat	5	OT	Final
Chi	2	Rim	8	-	Final
Lew	3	Dru	12	-	Final
Vic	2	Sha	5	-	Final
Rou	3	Mtl	5	-	Final

WOW - Lewiston 3, Drummondville 12. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY MOOSIES GETTING SLAUGHTERED. Pity. Why is this a remarkable game you ask? It is because Dummondville had 13 power plays!!! Apparently they went with Cousineau in nets?

There are no surprises here except the fact that Saint John brought it to overtime with Cape Breton. Cape Breton are just freaked because their Mascot has been stolen. The bastard who won the game for Cape Breton was none other than - yes, Joey Haddad *shakes fist*. You know it had to be him - I used the word bastard.

The final score in the Bathurst/ Gatineau game is also shocking. Unfortunately for Bathurst, overtime losses do not count for much in the playoffs.

Olympiques vs Rouyn Noranda game 5: done

How appropriate that I spend my drunken fun evening with a boy who is the spitting image of Claude Giroux - the 'Piques win the President's cup by defeating the Huskies 7-3. I called that boy Claude all night...I do not think he appreciated it. More later. For now check out QMJHL for all the scoring details. Game 5 photos are also available for viewing at the Huskies website.


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Another interview with Ryan Mior is available online at St John's The Telegram.

The telegraph journal also has an article discussing the Sea Dogs Alexandre Picard-Hooper's acceptance to McGill and his role next year with the Redmen.

Olympiques vs Rouyn-Noranda Game 4: This is for the Ds

What can I say? - the ‘piques are on a roll. They have defeated the Huskies 4-1 and now lead the series 3-1 heading back to Rouyn-Noranda for a game on Friday. I can even see an evolution in their game from when they were playing in Halifax at the Metro Centre during round three, as compared to their games now. They are playing smoother as a unit, their passing seems better, pucks are connecting tape to tape to tape, and there seems to be less stupid turnovers in the neutral zone (but that could just be due to the larger size of our ice surface). They are still keeping it tight in front of their net.

I am not going to comment too much on the game since I was not really paying attention, but Byron (yeah!!! again) had 1 goal, 2 assists. Unfortunately, I have very few pictures of him, either because he is too small to see behind all of those other players or he is too fast for my camera. Instead I will give you a picture of Byron WITH Matthew Pistilli – who was a getter of 2 assists during last night’s game.

It is hard to tell who is who when you are watching the Telus feeds, especially with no volume (I was TV multitasking) but when the volume was on, one name I did hear over and over was that of Joey Ryan. Oh Joey Ryan, I don’t know how wonderfully defensey you were being to make your commentators scream with joy like that, but if I do say so, it sounded good for them. Was it good for you?

Tell Ryan Mior he can read to me from his text books or throw me up against a wall anyday. All that puck handling and a 0.966 save% not only gets him A) the flinging of my panties in his general direction, but he can also exchange his game winning puck for B1) a coffee date, B2) a romantic walk along the water front, B3) extensive cooing with the fluffy hair smelling, the seductive breathing in the ear, and the neck caressing, B4) things I dare not say on this blog in case P-O or Travis Fullerton find out I have been making advances on goalies other than them.

Dear Ryan, don't tell my other goalies I said rowwwrr.

Halifax seems to have forgotten that there is a QMJHL final going on. They are not covering this in our newspaper. However, there are some good stories to be had where hometown boys are concerned:

Saint John NB’s newspapers have had some write-ups concerning the finals (game 3), as well as a story about Brad Tesink of the Acadie-Bathurst Titan

Ryan Mior has an interview with the St John’s Nfld newspaper- I am loving his down to earth attitude and winning ways. Does anybody know which university he is enrolled with and if he will be playing in the Maritimes next year?

Cape Breton loves the Huskie’s Brett Morrison and Jarrad Struthers, as such the Cape Breton Post have been covering this last round of the playoffs from day 1 - See here for a story on Morrison and Struthers and here for a write up on Game 2.

Olympiques vs Rouyn-Noranda Game 3: the doughnut game

Oh My. The Gatineau Olympiques were at it again. If the Moose thought we did poorly in Gatineau’s barn at least we can say we did not get a load of double digits to the face. The Olympiques defeated the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies 10-4 and now lead the series 2-1 heading into a second home game at the Centre Robert-Guertin.

I have been such a bum this week. Getting dumped is no fun. I have been drunk dialing my Mooseheads boyfriends at 2:00am and yelling at them. Then I ask them to take me back. Then I yell some more, then I hang up. Drink and repeat. I swear I can hear another girl in the background, giggling, mocking me, calling me pitiful. I will have no more of it. I knew I had hit my low when I had no sleep on Sunday night, and then on Monday I had poutine for lunch with a Boston-cream donut chaser. I desperately need a haircut, I haven’t exercised since the Seadogs were booted and I have had the worst drunken headaches.

I must thank IPB for a swift kick in the ass. In an attempt to counteract my slum, I dug out my playoff goggles, put them on and actually watched the game last night to help get me out of the QMJHL stupor I have been in since losing my team. Mind you, prior to the start of the game I had two martinis. This was followed by my typical exercise routine...albeit a slightly more drunken version. It is all so pitiful, especially since I was watching hockey in French, a language I barely understand.

I have to get ready to get back on the scene – Canada has called and I have accepted a date for May 12^th. It is going to be fab.

If Byron (#20) was a kick in the shins to the Mooseheads, then for all intents and purposes he is the Huskies' poutine and Boston-cream donut. I wonder if they are left with any self esteem at all after that game. Last night Paul Byron had 4 goals, 2 assists, no penalty minutes, and finished the game a +4. If 3 goals is a hat trick, what is this quadfecta? What should we throw? Not panties - I reserve throwing my panties for goalies. Throwing him a copy of “What’s going on down there?” seems perfectly appropriate. This wee Byron kid is blowing my mind – I don’t know how he does it – at least two of those goals were break away goals. Is he so light and feathery that even the breathing of the defenseman chasing behind him is enough to propel him forwards? He is made of 99% pure hydrogen with just a touch of the Ether all wrapped in a fleshy coating. That’s 32076 moles of hydrogen…and still I am forced to ask - why is nobody trying to break Byron?

Buffalo drafted Byron because they wanted to make Ryan Miller feel fat.

Giroux received 4 more points in the form of 2 goals and 2 assists. All in all, the ‘piques racked up 29 points this game. If you look at overall playoff stats for this season, look up, way up, you can see Giroux at the top with 46 points (15, goals, 31 assists), followed at 27 points by Byron (20 goals, 7 assists) and Prokop (2 goals, 25 assists).

Philly drafted Claude Giroux because they wanted a Danny Briere. Then they went out and bought Danny Briere. Now they have two.

Also, why was Gougeon not pulled after the first 5 goals (all scored in the first period on 14 shots)? It left me thinking – “does this team have so little faith in Pucholt that they will not even try him in nets”? I got my answer in the final minutes of the third when Pucholt allowed 2 goals on 6 shots in 15 minutes. You could tell Rouyn were back to playing desperate hockey, since they were back to taking stupid penalties, and even went so far as to run Mior in the third, possibly in an attempt to phase him for game 4 (just as Shawinigan had done in round one). Not that Mior was fantastic, he allowed 4 goals on 22 shots, but he did make a nice stretchy pad save, and he also did something else exciting when I was not paying attention. Hey, I was drunk and exercising…how much attention span do you think I have? I ultimately blame the live Telus feeds and their lack of replays.

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I have been nagging my girlfriend about how she should know more QMJHL players from Cape Breton, if for no other reason than the fact that she is age appropriate and her boyfriend played hockey for years (although she refused to acknowledge this as she hates hockey). We already know about her encounters with BS, but I needed to know if she knows more boys so I started naming names. It turns out that one of her friends from school is Michael Kirkpatrick's sister, she remembers baby Kirky. The next time she goes to CB I am sending some cookies for him, as well as a certificate for his parents to sign which will allow for the transferring of all parental rights over to me.

Rouyn-Noranda vs Olympiques Game 2: Sorry Huskies, I did you wrong

I have been slow at writing my Q update because of IIHF fever, NHL fever and oh, yeah, that pesky hour long presentation I have been preparing for Monday - the only thing not getting done is the presentation. I sit here mid-Stars vs Sharks (after the second OT) trying to rejuvenate my mind with a little shot of Brett Morrison. Brett is a wee spriggin' looking fellow who has been tossed around the Q (Gatineau, PEI, Rouyn-Noranda) and passed over for two drafts before getting a tryout with the oilers and finally being taken fifth round in the 2007 draft by Anaheim. Brett looks good for a boy from Cape Breton, so spriggin' (like Kirky), so clean, so fresh and so tidy - thus so much different than boys like handlebar 'stache Swan, Joey Haddad, Murd MacLellan or Ryan Sparling (who, although he looks clean, you just know he is pure evil). Yes Brett is from Cape Breton and he has pixie face - it is possible.

The Rouyn-Noranda Huskies did a complete 180 and defeated the Gatineau Olympiques 6-2. Brett was the playingest player with 1 goal and 3 assists. Michael Debuc also potted 2 goals and 1 assist. The Huskies scored 5 unanswered goals in the first two periods, driving Ryan Mior from the nets. Mior is a mad man, he could do anything. Is he angry, will he be back with a vengeance, have the Huskies been slaughtered in their sleep? We will not know until May 6th.

Gatineau were finally able to respond with two goals in the third by Prokop and Chabot, before pulling my new 'baby boyfriend' and 'cuddling partner' Maxime Clermont from the nets in the final minutes of the game. Huskies finished them off with an empty net goal by Debuc. The Olympiques then had to put 'Cuddly Clermont' back in nets because they knew they were boned. You can check out the scoring recap at the QMJHL website. Pictures can be seen at the Huskies website.

I was also wrong by saying that the Huskies would not be able to keep their penalties down, but they only allowed 4 and killed off all of them. In the meantime they got 4 of their 6 goals on the power play with a 80% pp efficiency. I am going to have to give props to 'the Gouge' for his 0.935 save % and the fact that he had an assist. Mind you he only faced 6 dangerous shots. Props come in the form of a picture - a picture from his days as a Volt because I have no good pictures from his visit as a Huskie.

Maxim Gougeon is seen here lookin' like a Volt but he is really a Huskie. I call this seeing the world through Volt coloured glasses.

We should all still be trying to guess what the 'piques secret weakness is.

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Dear Carey Price
I still totally heart you. How could a girl stay angry at a boy with those sad puppy dog eyes? Do you want to cuddle, because I would totally be down with that. No, keep the gear on!!!

Rouyn-Noranda vs Olympiques, Game 1: Just as I predicted.

In all the fuss over the IIHF, I almost forgot about the QMJHL finals. I am lying, I could never forget about the QMJHL finals especially since I saw half of my returning team last night at the Metro Centre watching IIHF hockey when I was hoping to see them in Rouyn Noranda actually playing hockey. Well no, actually I was hoping to see Saint John in Halifax, but that was hoping for a lot.

The Rouyn-Noranda Huskies faced off against the Gatineau Olympiques at the Arena Dave Keon. The Huskies lost 6-2 on home ice. Photos are available through the Huskies official photographer - Michel Fortin's site.

I mean geeze Huskies, at least we lost in OT on home ice. You are going to have to do better than that. Unfortunately they cannot, Gatineau have some big snipers, and despite all the fuss about how well 'the Gouge' has been for the Huskies in these playoffs, he was not really that good against Saint John and I don't expect much more from him facing the Olympiques.

Captain Jean-Philip Chabot had a hat trick and Squirrels Giroux netted one goal and had three helpers. Paul Byron and Gerrit Fauser rounded out Gatineau's scorers. Pistilli, Prokop, and Labrie helped out with a number of assists. Hubert Labrie also has a quick hits interview that you can read on the QMJHL sight right now.

Claude Giroux is a rabid squirrel, nibbling and clawing his way to the top of the Q with 41 points, 15 points more than his nearest competitor. This is why Philly fans should rejoice.

Tyler Hawes and Yannick Riendeau scored for the Huskies. The Huskies PK did not look so good as they allowed the Olympiques to get 4 goals on 6 powerplay attempts. They are either going to have to get back to shutting down the opposing team's power play or smartening up and not taking so many penalties (not likely). If their pride is the offensiveness of their defense and not the defensiveness of their defense...the Huskies are screwed. However, I was looking over the game photos and it does look like they were smart enough to hurt Byron. The Piques are wee tiny things and should be easy to break. Was Groulx being literal when he leaked that his team have a weakness.

Gougeon allowed 5 goals on 34 shots (0.85 save %) whereas Mior allowed only 2 goals on 27 shots (0.926 save %). Mind you, Gougeon is not as easy to dislike with a full beard,when compared to his normal meticulously groomed cornucopia of hair-douchebaggery, but I will stick with Mior because he still looks as wonderfully psychotic as ever.

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Team USA cannot afford name plates on their jerseys, or matching gloves, or team USA helmets and pads for their goalie. That country is just Ghetto. This is war time people, America must conserve its resources. It was fun not having a game schedule and trying to guess the team USA players by face alone (many did not have their usual team numbers). Like I am going to recognize someone from the St Louis Blues - HA. Boyfriend was useless, he has no idea what Paul Martin looks like. Neither of us knew who David Backes was (sorry Backes). We still managed to recognize 3/4 of the team by face alone. Here is the USA roster.

Moose vs Olympiques: Game 4. Pride, Heart, Determination?

Hello
Is anybody there?


Me - "Oh Colby. Hi, how are you? What is that? You are looking for the rest of the team? Have you found anybody yet? "

Colby - "Yeah I think I see Whitey, maybe Knotek. Yeti got here a little late. You would think he could have shown up about an hour and a half earlier since he runs on Nfld time."


Me - "Good ol' Whitey. He always shows up doesn't he. Thank God I chose him as my favorite forward, other wise I might be let down by the high expectations but low production of our 'stars', you know, if I was the kinda girl who was into 'stars'. So who assisted on your goal?"

Colby - "Two big birds."

Me - "Pender and Swan?"

Colby - "Yeah, those guys."

Me - "How was Whitey?"

Colby - "Up to his old tricks."

Me - "Good Puppy."

Colby - "I got a goal yesterday too."

Me - "Good for you. Did you know that my girl CG finds you attractive? It must be the character thing. We have such very different taste. I like my boys to be very soft looking"

Colby - "Is she single? Is she French? French girls are nice!"

Me - "I feel the same way about French boys. As for CG, her husband is half French...France French. Sorry!
Speaking of French boys, how is Pier doing?

Colby - "Pier has shaved. That beard really wasn't working for him. Other than that, he has become quite good at pine surfing, door opening, gum chewing, and fingernail examining. He also feels more relaxed since he no longer has to worry about the quality of the ice in his crease. Man he gets so paranoid about the ice in his crease....or at least he did when he had a crease."

Me - "Gee, did any of the Halifax boys actually make the trip to Gatineau? "

Colby - "Halifax boys- let me think? Well I know Bona was here at some point because he assisted on my goal yesterday and he was a -1 for both games, which considering that we lost 6-1 and 5-2, is not half bad. He didn't even take a penalty. PEI was rocking it - Logan helped a bit. Damn it feels good to be an island - I mean, from an island"

Me- "Like Newfoundland, PEI or Cape Breton. Home sweet home. But I do not think that PEI reps combining for 6 minutes of penalty time is exactly RAWKING. Do you think Whitey will let me hug him?"

Colby - "He could use a good nuzzle!"

Me - "Excellent"

Colby - "Just be careful, he is a little angry and he's been biting. He doesn't think that being told to wear a wig or shave your beard is actually an effective coaching strategy for winning playoff games."

Me - "The two of you would have been excellent on a shut down line. You know, if we had a shut down line."

Colby - "Tell me about it."

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 4. 23 individual kisses.

I did a play by play of the game. Yeah I suck.

1^st period

Keven, Keven, Keven, Wooooooo. Sea Dogs get the first goal

A couple of incidents of sustained pressure on Fully in the first 10 minutes – looking good boy.

Huskies defense = diving not for the player or the puck but for their own net. Uhhhh how is this not a penalty

Vishnevskiy on delay of game – please take advantage of this Sea Dogs. All these guys do is get penalties.

Howes Howes Howes woooooooooo. 14 goals in the playoffs bitches. 2 PP goals this game for the Sea Dogs.

No dogs – stop with penalties.

Liske - one excellent way to kill a penalty is to be offensey. Smart boy.

Stich clears. More awesome than possum – PK killed

Gallant penalty – check from behind. Are you Bouchard? You get penalties for being you!

Fully Fully Fully – off the chest – pffff don’t shoot there stupid Rouyn!

Booo Huskies score a PP goal on a make up call. Don’t give up dogs!

Giguère ties the game with a shot through the 5 hole in a 5 on 5. Don’t give up dogs. No more turn overs.

Rouyn’s Riendeau fires a shot off the cross bar

Fully - relax, breathe, relax. Hugs.

2nd period

Hawes (Rouyn) fires a shot off the post

Fully - relax, breathe, relax… nice save. Breathe relax

Simon noooooooooo. High sticking penalty

Damn – Huskies goal by Desjardins

Sea Dogs – Keep the Huskies boys away from the net for those rebounds. Tight box, tight box.

The Sea Dogs go on the PP on a Huskie’s slash

The puck is stick checked out of Huskies zone

Keep up the pressure boys

Howes goal. Woooooooooo. Game tied 3-3.

Morrison making pressure for Huskies, goal

Fully – breathe relax breathe

Time out for Sea Dogs. JB talking to Fully – I bet he is saying breathe, relax, breathe.

I almost don’t want to tune into the Mooseheads game when it starts in ohhhh 15 minutes.

Grant makes pressure – Gougeon saves. Announcers said Gougeon looks funny. Like, no duh!!! Have you seen him play before? No, he did not have some of the best stats for the season- what are you looking at color commentator guy!

Thomas penalty – stop it with penalties Sea Dogs

Sparling slash or Dido penalty? What? Both!!! But they kill penalties - Sea Dogs need them. Huskies get a 5 on 3 for at least two minutes.

People are throwing shit on the ice. Wouldn’t that be funny if they were actually throwing shit on the ice – like monkeys these folk from Saint John are – crazy monkeys

Grant blocks, then clears the puck. Cleared again.

Breathe, relax, breathe. No goal for Rouyn - high stick

Fully stops a one timer

Pressure still on. Cleared.

5 on 3 done. Still 5 on 4 for the Huskies for over a minute

Cleared from the Sea Dogs zone by Gauthier

Make up call for Dogs. Huskies penalty. 4 on 4 hockey. Make up calls are for chumps. They just show that refs are fools. Refs and their stupid zombocracy.

Dogs on PP for about 1:30

Penalty killed by Huskies.

Kevey (can I call you Kevey, Mr Charland?) shoots – Gougeon saves

The boards are scaring me. Pressure in the Sea Dogs zone. Després gets the puck out.

Huskies get back in but Thomas clears the puck

Fully saves on Carpentier, then loses his stick. Breathe, relax, breathe

Gauthier hauled down on a breakaway. Where the hell is the penalty shot!!!!

Simon - there is a Husky in your back pocket – too cute. There is also a dead yellow rat on your head - less than cute.

Shot by Grant- Gougeon stops puck, smothers it with his wee tiny body.

Kirky from Grant whoooooooooo goal

Kirky Kirky Kirky cookie.

Tied going into 3^rd.

Must go to Moose
I will check in during our intermission.

3^rd period

Fully kneeling in his net- goal review again (shades of when I tuned in last night) – no goal

Pad saves are sexy

So are blocker saves

Penalty expires, yet Sea Dogs get another penalty on Stich. Damn

8 PP for the Huskies so far this game.

Cleared from the Sea Dogs zone, back in but cleared again by Grant

Fully - Motherfucker what an excellent glove save at about 10 minutes in. You rock my world. That was better than foreplay. I am now good to go.

Shot over the boards – no penalty.

Riendeau goal (from Macenauer and Carpentier). Huskies lead.

Fully – breathe relax breathe

Dogs – careful hockey no desperate penalties.

Hooray - PP for the Sea Dogs.

Fully are you having equipment problems? – no blocker shenanigans. They are not showing you on the camera. This happened to Roy in CB and Benda had to come in for a minute.. stupid rule huh?

Grant – get it on net next time please.

Save on a breakaway, Save on the wraparound – Dear Fully, here is my bra.

Dido and Sparling putting on the pressure in the Huskies zone.

Cleared by the Huskies

Pressure in Sea Dogs end – damn

Less than two minutes left.

Empty Seadogs net

Huskies clear the puck - icing. This is the longest 30 seconds of my life.

What are we waiting for this time. Adding time to the clock – OK

Cleared again. Icing

Ohhhh poor Dogs. Sea Dogs lose 5-4. The Rouyn Noranda Huskies take the the series 4-0.

I love you. Here are 23 individual kisses.

20 year olds get stars. – Fully gets 3^rd star.

Sea Dogs. Go out and get drunk now. You deserve it.

The Huskies fired 43 Shots on Fullerton, with 26 dangerous shots

The Sea Dogs fired 37 shots on Gougeon with 14 dangerous shots

Moose vs Olympiques: Game 3. Shut down lines. We don't need no stinking shut down lines!

Moose lose 6-1. Yeti was pulled with about 15 minutes remaining in the third. P-O got his chance in nets, he let in no goals. Go Go P-O. I am glad you got some playoff minutes in, in this, your last year in the Q. Something about your standing at the net just makes me feel right.

From the mouth of the inexperienced:
Russell, on matching lines: "Typically, your matches are, you want to have your top defencemen out against the other team's top lines, but forwards against forwards, we don't get caught up in that much. You could have a coach where every offensive faceoff, he would put a line on that would make us take our top line off. We trust all our forwards to play against any line out there."

Paul Byron and Claude Giroux were kicking our asses again. The only Moose goal was scored by Colby Pridham from MacMillan and Bona. White and Pridham had 4 shots on net each, Voracek only had one, Marchand had none. I don't want to talk about it. I watched the first two periods and then had plans to go out with a friend. I will watch the end of the third tomorrow to catch my glimpse of P-O. There is no way a team of this caliber that makes it to the semi-finals should get swept unless ....

ps. high quality Telus feeds suck. They keep freezing. It is not worth the money

Moose vs Olympiques: Game 2. No goalie, don't go.

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Mooseheads vs Olympiques: Game 1. Meh.

The Gatineau Olympiques defeated the Halifax Mooseheads 2-1 in overtime. There I got that off of my chest. You can read Wuest' s game blog at the Metro. I am ready for game two. I don’t think Gatineau outplayed us, but I also do not think that the Moose gave their hardest fought effort. Maybe it is just that both teams are really rusty from being off for more than a week and they were also testing out the waters, since we have only faced each other twice this season.

The three stars were Byron, Giroux and Yetmen who had a 0.94 save %.

Gatineau opened the scoring at 8:28 into the second with a goal by Byron from Pistilli and Giroux. Pistilli sounds delicious; I assume it contains pine nuts and wild mushrooms in a cream sauce with port. Voracek responded for the Mooseheads ten minutes later with a goal on the powerplay. Then I had to sit there and watch as we did nothing 5 on 5 for the rest of regulation except throw the puck to the side of the net. Byron finished us off in OT.

If you think the things I say about Travis Fullerton are bad, you are lucky that I don’t say what I think about the Moose goalies – so nuzzley sweet. My feelings for P-O can be likened to Michael’s crush on the Chair Model in a recent episode of the office. It is just that sad. There was a feature on the goalies in this week’s team program and this, of course, got me sooo excited that my Lady balls dropped.

Neither the Mooseheads nor Gatineau forwards actually wasted their time challenging the goalies – 33 vs 36 shots in 74:15 minutes of play. I think Yeti was challenged by the forwards moreso than Ryan Mior. Gatineau had a couple of breakaway chances that Yeti handled with aplomb. Thank the Gods for Yeti. So while Yeti faced only a few more shots than Mior, they were more dangerous shots. I don’t know how many times our forwards missed the net. Mior must wear a puck repelling cologne or he is a very lucky bitch.

I must give credit to the Ds for keeping the puck away from the net. Go defense go. More specifically go O’MacMonabonaenderchuk. I am not saying Go Go Gatineau Ds - I would not do that. Our defense helped with killing off a full 4 powerplays and kept that squirrely Giroux away from the net. Now all we have to do is try to avoid falling down in OT followed by standing around in shock as Byron skates by with the puck, gets into our zone all alone, comes face to face with Yeti, and gets a goal. It made Andrew White so angry that Byron stole his move (except Byron went glove side on Yeti, not blocker side like White did with Roy) that he tried to smash his stick on the boards right in front of me.

Hooray for me. I managed to resist stealing Claude Giroux and putting him in my pocket and taking him home. I secretly love him and I want to keep him in a cage with a wheel. I promise I will give him fresh food and water everyday. He is growing a little goatee thing. Awwww he thinks he is men. Clermont is pretty adorable too, such chubby little cheeks. I am also an orange junkie, which means that while I don’t really like his pads because they are gaudy and I like white pads, I still kinda like his pads. The orange is a bold choice. Did I mention his chubby cheeks?

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news links:
Gatineau wins Game One.

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Special message to Carey Price:
What the fuck Carey!!! I don't just love you because you are pretty, I mean it helps, but come-on guy - pull it together. You got a shut out with a big pimple on your nose, and yet when you look good - nothing. 10 goals against in two games. You and Fully are up in the same abysmal tree. Get out of that tree, back onto the ice, and play like you have never played in your life.

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Game 1

Let me just say that I need a little French friend to be my translator since all these games broadcast from Rouyn-Noranda are going to be en Francais. I would prefer a slim, 6'2, young French farmboy, with soft fluffy hair, a cute nose, nice chompers and pretty pouty lips. If you can find me a goalie that fits that description - that would be perfect. Since the Mooseheads will be playing Gatineau tonight I hope I can find one that fits that description at the Metro Centre. I will just have to convince him that my intentions are perfectly innocent. Failing that I will take Martin Brodeur since he is out of a job for the rest of the summer.

Oy Dogs, what have you gone and done? I guess that depends on which dogs we are talking to. The Saint John Sea Dogs have lost game one of the semi-final matchup to the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies 5-3.

If the question is who adapted better in their special teams, the answer is clearly Rouyn because the Sea Dogs were not able to capitalize on 8 power play opportunities. EIGHT. Furthermore the Sea Dogs were absolutely creamed throughout the game when it came to puck possession. It started so well - two goals in 7 minutes for the Sea Dogs and then they totally slacked off - dumb move. I don't know how many odd man rushes they gave up at the end of the first period, and the second period was absolutely brutal since all the action was in the Sea Dogs end, with Rouyn getting 20 shots on net to the Sea Dogs 5.

After allowing 5 goals on 37 shots, Travis Fullerton was relieved from his duties in nets early in the third period, and Robert Mayer took over, standing strong for the rest of the game. Fully was not pulled due to suckage but supposedly because "It was not for a poor effort on Fullerton's part, but a reprieve from wave after wave of Rouyn-Noranda's offensive attack."

The Sea Dogs were severely out-faceoffed - 45 to 32 (it is too a word!), out-hit (14 to 8), and out-shot (48 to 21). I hope they have learned a valuable lesson from this disaster. These are basic concepts in hockey (except the Gougeon part). Learn them, use them.

1. Your goalie is not a relentless puck stopping machine, he needs help sometimes (0.865 save %).
2. If you take penalties, your opponent gets powerplays
   
3. If they have power plays they will have possession of the puck
   
4. If you hit them you can gain possession of the puck
5. If you have the puck, then Rouyn does not have the puck
6. If you have the puck you can put it on their net
7. If you put the puck on the net Gougeon will let it in (0.8571 save % with 3 dangerous shots).

The three stars of the game were all Huskies: 1) Struthers, 2) Lepine and 3) Giguere. Struthers had two goals for the Huskies, and Debuc, Morrison (how quickly you turn on your Maritime brethren) and Carpentier were also able to find the net. Didomenico, Picard-Hooper and Howes had goals for the Sea Dogs. My sweet little, big defenseman Simon Despres had two assists - Awwwww.

Sea Dogs News
Rookie Specialist - a Kirkpatrick story. They like him because he is a Caper, he is adorable and he fits in your pocket (if you have a really big pocket).
Michael Kirkpatrick - stats
Huskies Rally Past Sea Dogs in Opener

Sea Dogs vs Huskies: Pre-game stats

I have already done a brief rundown of goalie stats for the semi-finals, so now I figure it is time to take a look at some of the shooters stats. It has already been stated by the media that special teams will be very important for this series. The Huskies have the most effective penalty kill so far this playoffs with a 90% PK efficiency, however the Sea Dogs have the most potent power play at 32.3%. Of all the teams remaining the Huskies have the worst powerplay at 24.2 % and the Sea Dogs have a PK of 80% - neither of these are necessarily bad numbers for a PP or PK. It will be interesting to see which special teams will be better able to adjust to their new opponents. Unlike the Sea Dogs who have allowed two short handed goals, the Huskies have not allowed any. The Sea Dogs will have to be very careful about not coughing up the puck during their power play.


If we look at shots on net per game (Sea Dogs = 34.2 , Huskies = 35.75) and the number of penalty kills (Sea Dogs = 5.5 , Huskies = 6.25) these teams seem fairly even, however the goalie stats are very different, with Gougon's numbers being much better than Fullerton's. This may be because the Sea Dogs have been allowing many more dangerous shots - 45% of all shots on net for the sea Dogs have been considered dangerous, this is compared to the Huskies 26.6%. Would Gougeon's numbers be as good if 45% of the shots coming his way were actually considered dangerous shots. Dear God, Sea Dogs what the hell are you trying to do to Fullerton? Sea Dogs defense- you must be more defensey.

So while point production is fun and everything, other factors such as shots on net and faceoff wins must also be considered. Here are the top players on either team for a number of non-goalie related statistics.




















I also have more Sea Dogs vs Huskies related new links to share with y'all:
It's Dog eat Dog as Semi's begin
Sea Dogs Brace for Daunting Task


Oh Fully I knew you were done wrong, but I never knew about this Courcelles guy.

"The Lewiston Maineiacs ruthlessly cut their ties with him 1½ years ago after he had an off-season run-in with the law. Fullerton was nailed for drinking and driving during training camp in August, 2006, and then-head coach and general manager Clem Jodoin declared he would not allow a player with that kind of off-ice baggage to play for his team.

"This is not something this team will tolerate," Jodoin told the Lewiston Sun-Journal at the time.

Jodoin sent Fullerton home the very next day and made him wait until December before dealing him to a new team. Incidentally, that didn’t stop Jodoin from finalizing a trade for forward Simon Courcelles the same day he kicked Fullerton off the team, even though Courcelles had been involved in a drinking and driving incident one year earlier."

However, it is a damn good thing because it got you out of Bernier's shadow. Do you want to hug? Yes, this is the softer gentler, non-goalie eating side of me. I just hope P-O and Yeti do not mind that I am so firmly rasping on the left side of your neck...the side with the freckles. Yeah, I don't know what happened to my knickers, they just mysteriously vanished. Hey, I tried to be sweet and gentle but you let me get within 5 feet of you - then your kavorka got to me. You should have known better.

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Dear Yeti

Do you see what Groulx is saying about you? Yes he is mean! Do you need a hug? OK then, let’s nuzzle. You know I love you right? You are my goalie and you know it is my sworn duty to love my goalies even if they play a boring conservative style. Wait – was that mean? Sorry. Here let me hug you tighter. Can I sit in your lap, smell your fluffy pre-game hair, and nuzzle your neck? Your funny neck beard tickles! Anyway, even if something goes wrong don’t forget that we have Pier to back you up and he is brillz. This is something Groulx and I can agree upon.

You have been playing very well, and you have remained cool, calm and collected. While I love goalie rage, you are not generally a rageaholic and you should not become a rageaholic. OK maybe you expressed some rage once, when you unsuccessfully tried to break your stick on the posts and Pier, who had already been pulled, was sitting on the bench doing the neurotic hat on, hat off, hat on thing which he does when he is stressed – but goalie go round will do that to boys. All that gear on your chest cannot protect you from the pain you feel in your fragile goalie mind after a super shitty game. However, goalie rage is just not appropriate at this time of year. If something goes wrong, give yourself a hug, ask Pier for a hug, or find me in the stands and come get your hug. Maybe we should all hug, mmmmmmmmm. Oh, we will work it out somehow.

But don’t worry sweet Yeti, should something bad happen because of that squirrely Giroux, just remember that even Mior has had his off nights during these playoffs. Also, did you see Carey Price last night? He was brutal. I think I even saw him emote – a small wince of pain brought on by the tragedy that was last night’s Habs vs Bruins game. Even Marty #1 has been all moody and out of position lately. It can happen to the best of netminders. Don't let Groulx get to you. Stay strong, the Moose need you to help them put out that Olympique Flame.

At least Voracek is feeling better. He has not been playing like himself lately. He has been good, but not Voracek levels of good - ya know? How this silly Czech robot caught a cyber-virus I will never know. We should keep him offline until the playoffs are done. We need to emerge from meeting three with Gatineau unscathed and ready for a good Dog Fight.

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Mooseheads/Yetman picture from the Chronicle Herald (Eric Wynne)

Links, Linx, Lynx

There is not much that I can say right now that the media has not covered, be it playoff stats from the QMJHL, to news from the Herald, the Metro or the Telegraph Journal.

First off the QMJHL has guides to both semi-final series:
Moose vs Olympiques
Sea Dogs vs Huskies - ohhh a Fully picture

Then sportsnet tells us what they think we should know about the semi-final matchups. They also give us some coverage on the huskies, which is good because I tend not to follow the French teams due to the fact that all of their media coverage is in French and my French sucks bones.

As for local Media coverage it is all Giroux vs Marchand and Marchand vs Giroux in some hot Team Canada roommate on roommate action. We also get really orgytastic when this many guys from Nova Scotia make it into the semi-finals:

Moose vs Gatineau:
Young stars put friendship aside
Mooseheads should prevail over Olympiques: Rival GM
Best must be the best - Giroux to remain as cute as a squirrel, yet also as deadly as a squirrel.
Moose defenders quietly effective - all the while remaining ear splittingly sexy. It is not their fault...they are defensemen...sexy is their burden to bear.
Q's Final four set

And of course the long argued and long speculated:
Moose may have rink problems if they advance to Q- finals

Sea Dogs vs Huskies:
Grant Driving force behind Sea Dogs
Lots of Local flavour in other Q semi
Huskies represent tough task for Dogs
Huskies loaded with weapons
Head - to - head

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In other Q- related news Matthieu Perreault of the Acadie-Bathurst Titan had his debut with the Washington Captials AHL affiliate, the Hershey Bears, last night for the start of their playoff run. The Bears also feature HRM born bundle of cuteness Andrew Gordon as a top star in their lineup. The Bears lost to the Pens 2-1 in OT. You can read all about the Bears at Talk Hockey to Me.