yawning or snarling (busy or lazy)

Oh hey, long time no see. I mean, I see you, because I do go to games but you don't see me because I don't blog...so... creepy one-way-relationship here, I know.

I am trying to make it better for us my dears. I have written and submitted a PhD thesis. Somehow over 88,000 words were written. Words about science, not words of coo and love for young hockey players. Sometimes a girl has to have her priorities set straight. Then someday I will get a real job ...and you can haz sugahmamma. 

For now I just have a few things to say:
1) Shut up Lemieux. You are too my number 1 forward boyfriend! There is no denying me and there is nothing you can say to stop it. I don't even care if you hate me.
2) Ciampini pronounced as "Champini" sounds like type of mushroom. Probably the mushroom that Carl Gelinas lives in. Yes, Carl Gelinas is a wood sprite.  I mean LOOK AT HIM! Secret mystical forest powers in this boy, I tells ya.
3) Hannay, stop it with that evil grin. Owwww my loins. Sometimes Hannay pisses me off by choosing to play dumb thug over smart defenceman...and then he gives that evil grin and I cannot help myself.
4) Stop losing. You are sucking the very spirit from me. Moreso than even writing my thesis did. I know. Easier said than done. But no, really, stop!
5) Terenzio! When you make that  "shhhh" motion in your custom team video it is like WE have some sort of secret to hide. A secret you keep stored in your luxurious head of hair. Don't you know I have a weakness for goalies? Even short ones with really tight suspenders and no fear of getting into scrums. Ohhh feisty. Me likes. Shhh. Don't make it be like that. It would be so wrong.

Can I just touch your statisticals?

Admittedly the Mooseheads are still in the QMJHL basement but they just got a raise and are planning on moving up to a fancy condo sometime very soon.

Veteran goaltender Mathieu Corbeil has once again taken home QMJHL defensive player of the week honours. In his past two games against the Wildcats and the Drakkar he had a 1.0 GAA and a 0.9714 save %, having made 68 saves on a combined 70 shots. This will definately put him in the running for CHL goaltender of the week.

Not only is MCT (and bonus props to Trapper) the Defensive player of the week but he is also Sportsnet's hot player of the week for the QMJHL.

The Mooseheads' resurgence is headlined by their veteran goaltender who captured the league's defensive player of the week honours last week. In his last two starts, Corbeil-Thérieault allowed just two goals on 70 shots for a sparkling .971 save percentage. Halifax is now riding an impressive four-game winning streak.

If we take a look at league goaltending stats we can see Mathieu clawing his way up through the rankings. Right now his 0.895 save % is just short of Olivier Roy's and OHHHHHH so close to 0.9%. A slow start has left his stats lagging, but in the past 10 games he actually has a 2.47 GAA and a 0.925 save%. Yes, 0.925%.

Dear bitches, cross your legs and stay away from my man.

Oh hey baby, how you doin'?

You are looking good today, all white and leathery. What's your name?

Trapper Thériault? So that's where the T in MCT comes from. Trapper, why, that's a rugged name. You aren't related to Sarah Palin are you?

No! Good. You scared me for a second there. That really sounds like the name of a Palin Family kid. Maybe it's what Sarah calls her....oh never mind

Listen honey. I've been kinda lonely lately. Tell me a little bit bout your fine self. If I like you I'll give you a whirl.

You are friends with Mathieu Corbeil. That's hot.
You helped him win stars in three consecutive games against Saint John, Val d'Or and PEI.
I'm still listening.
You helped him defeat Val d'Or and PEI
In three games the two of you had a 1.67 GAA and a 0.945 save % after having stopped 86 of 91 shots.
How many of those saves in the game against PEI were made by you? A billion! Wow!

...and now Mathieu Corbeil is taking all the credit for the QMJHL defensive player of the week award. How selfish. You must feel bad.

I have just the thing to make you feel better. Follow me under the bleachers...

Poor sweet, darling, Pier

Pier-Oliver Pelletier was released from the Bakersfield Condors.

Damn you Justin Pogge!

...and three kinds of yes

Hold your seaponies, I will get to my shitty game review eventually. For now I MUST tell everybody about John Moore's new website.

John Moore, the radio voice of the Mooseheads, has a website with blog posts about adventures on the road. There are also videos with coach interviews and player shenanigans. I heart player interviews...like this goalie interview.


Matty has his modeling angles down. He looks good from the front. He has sharp features and sometimes does not take a good photo. He needs to watch his angles, know his light and smile with his eyes. He looks like he is getting it down. Ahhh my # 1 boyfriend is getting better looking with age. I like that.

Yeah, this means we have a you tube page. There is also an interview with Maxime Clermont there. I do not want to steal all of John Moore's thunder by posting all of his videos (GOALIES, GOALIES, GOALIES), so just get your ass over there and visit CHL goalie of the week, Clermont, NOW. He just gets cuter every day (Clermont, not Moore) and his English is impeccable - we could totally date him. I would put him on my boyfriend list because of this, but he is already on my boyfriend list. We need two Clermonts.

You can learn so much about about boys when you visit Moore's website. Things like "Charles Bety can fix a car" and "former Moosehead Garrett Peters is in family way and won't be playing for Saint Mary's University this year". Peters is 22. Q-girl style Sex-Ed lessons to come.



For now let's talk about the video chronicling Charles Bety's mechanic skills.

There are three things I like about this video.

1) Charles Bety has smokin' hot arms - YES
2) Gerrad Grant reminds me that he has more equipment than just that which he wears on the ice - YESSS
3) oh heyyyyyy hottie - YESSSSSS!

Who is #3? He is tall. It is not MacDonald and not Amyot. I don't think it is Abeltshauser. It must be Hannay. Hannay, you can now join my growing list of boyfriends - please move over to the left with the large cluster of other inappropriately aged boys.


Sex ed:
Now boyfriends, I don't know if anybody has ever told you this, so please listen carefully - BABIES COME FROM SEX. Crazy, I know. I don't want anybody on my team to be in 'a family way' any time soon.

You see that thing in Gerrad Grant's hand (well you can't see it, but you can imagine it...like I am) - it is 1/2 of the baby making machinery. You can't just be taking your machinery and putting it in girlie bits all willy-nilly and expecting no babies to result.

You are probably thinking "but it can't happen to me. I'm just a kid". This is a lie. Young people are THE MOST fertile - it is most likely going to happen to you. What are the odds? Well, women are fertile about 1-2 days a month. If you are planting seeds every day of the month then your odds are somewhere like 1/30. But you are young and you don't like 'flo' so your odds are more like 1/25. Those odds are scary huh? Better than the Mooseheads odds of winning a game anytime soon.

Dudes! It takes two people to not make a baby and birth control is unreliable if she has been drinking, taking antibiotics, or if she missed a pill. Also, sometimes, girls lie about using birth control, just like they lie about your skills in the boudoir (or grassy field, or school bathroom) and about their ability to orgasm *gasp*. You may be fucking stupid girls. Use a condom - EVERY TIME. It also helps lower your chances of STDs.

...and Gerrad Grant- please move to the left. I didn't know you had "equipment". You can totally be my boyfriend.

It's official

Pier-Olivier Pelletier is still the cutest goalie in the universe.Check out his Bakersfield Condors profile here.

What no one knows is that he is also my desktop photo. D'oh! I guess you know now. I am insanely loyal to my ex-goalies, especially those that smell like candy necklaces.

Go goalie! Go Goalie! Go goalie!

Former Mooseheads goaltender, perhaps the softest, tenderiest tender that ever tendered (soooo pretty) Pier-Olivier Pelletier has signed a contract with the Bakersfield Condors of the ECHL. They also signed Patrick Prokop.

The Condors are an affiliate of the Anaheim Ducks. The Ducks also have Q goaltenders Timo Pielmeier (St. John's and Shawinigan) and Marco Cousineau (Baie Comeau and Drummondville) in their system.

Here is the press release (and a picture. oh-la-la):

BAKERSFIELD Calif. - The Bakersfield Condors, official ECHL affiliate of the Anaheim Ducks, have signed D Patrik Prokop (PROH-kahp) and G Pier-Olivier Pelletier (PEE-air OH-lihv-EE-ay PEHL-tee-ay).

A 2005 second-round draft pick by the Phoenix Coyotes, Pelletier, 22, played for Waterloo of the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) in 2008-09. In 11 games, Pelletier posted a record of 7-3-1. His 2.20 goals-against average was tied for second in the league and his .937 save percentage was best in the league.

"I've heard good things about the organization," said Pelletier. "It looks like Bakersfield has a nice rink and it's a good city. I used to play AAA juniors with Alexandre Monahan, Mathieu Aubin and Stephane Goulet, who have already signed with the Condors. I've been to a couple of NHL camps, but I'm excited to start playing at the professional level."

A 6-foot, 2-inch, 192-pound native of St. Louis, Quebec, Pelletier spent his entire junior career in the QMJHL, starring for Drummondville and Halifax. In his final two seasons in the QMJHL, Pelletier went a combined 53-33-5 with a 3.15 goals-against average and .892 save percentage.

In 2007, Pelletier led Drummondville to the quarterfinals of the QMJHL playoffs, posting a record of 7-5-0 with a 3.37 goals-against average and .893 save percentage.

Pelletier also brings international experience to the Condors. He served as the back-up to Montreal Canadiens goaltender Carey Price on the Canadian National Team at the 2005 U-18 World Championships in Czech Republic and Slovakia.

Pelletier has also seen time at NHL Training Camps with Phoenix and Detroit.

I just have one question: How are Yeti and Pier supposed to battle for my love now?

Blah Blah Blah + goalies

This is my lazy point form list of things you need to know about goalies (+ others):

• Bobby Nadeau (Val d'Or, Chicoutimi, PEI) has an invite to Vancouver Canucks rookie camp. He can probably outplay Raycroft. Dal is sad and has their voodoo doll out just in case. Bobby says something about it being likely that he will be in university *Dal puts down the voodoo doll*.
• Charles Lavigne (Moncton, Quebec) is not getting any love from the pro circuit. He is currently scuttling around Remparts land... just because. He says he would like to go pro but university is still an option. If Charlie needs love I will travel.
  
• Mark Yetman (and the Brock Badgers) will be back in the Maritimes Sept 18-19 (the dates on the link are wrong - think Friday & Saturday instead) as the Badgers take on the the UNB V-reds in Fredericton. Yetman vs Fullerton - no need to say a word. You can visit Yetman and give him one last lick if you are so inclined... and only if you don't mind driving for 5 hours.
  
• Chad Earle is now with the Summerside Western Capitals of the MJAHL. Stay bad Chad.

Now taking Applications*:
When I think of goalies I get all tingly in the shell of my nucleus accumbens. Goalies are my hedonic hot spot. In order to wean off one I need to wean onto another; because quitting cold turkey is just too hard. Look at what I am losing after last season:

Oh don't laugh because I included Yetman in there. He was my Mooseheads goalie after all. Four Candidates for my 2008-2009 # 1 QMJHL boyfriend- Pielmeier, Yetman, Nadeau and Lavigne - all gone. I know you are looking at that picture of Lavigne thinking "wow, I never knew that Lavigne was sooo good looking". You are thinking this because you are a fool. Prior to last season you didn't even notice that he was a good goalie. Grow some DAMN eyes, man.

Mathieu Corbeil is working hard to fulfill my needs and the demands of 'the people' as the Mooseheads #1 goalie for 2009-1210. According to the Mooseheads twitter feed he was one of the fittest guy on the team at this summer's development camp. Now all he needs is a customized bucket and maybe a haircut (PLEASE).

We ladies respond to thigh-high goalie pads the way men respond to thigh-high hooker boots.

What 20's are left for me this year? Ugh Gelli-donuts (never), Raf D'Orso (only if he shaves the chin-strap), Francois Levesque (feels like Chicoutimi's sloppy seconds. PEI - go figure) , Matt Dopud (is little people + may have seen the Gouge naked = trauma). Think dammit, think.

I would rather live in the past. I have had so many goalie 'boyfriends' over the years that I have decided to give a brief review of what some of my more recent exes have been up to since they left the Q.


Stalking Victim #1 - Ryan Mior:
Last season, goaltender Mior split the year between the Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs of the Central Hockey League and the Port Huron Icehawks** of the International Hockey League (as of January 20th). In 15 games with the Mudbugs and 19 games with the Icehawks, Mior recorded GAAs of 2.63 and 1.94 respectively. He also registered an assist in Port Huron.

Mior won the rookie of the week award as well as two goalie of the week awards and subsequently the IHF rookie of the month in Jan 2009 while playing for the IceHawks

He posted a 3-1-0-1 record for the month of January, earning a shutout in his first IHL start. The shutout came on January 24th when he closed the door on 18 shots from Kalamazoo. Mior also earned his second shutout in just three starts on January 30th in Fort Wayne, making a total of 25 saves. He finished the month making 105 saves with a .955 save percentage. The 21-year-old St. John’s, Newfoundland native only allowed five goals against, giving him a 1.23 goals against average for the month.

Mior finished his season with the Icehawks with a .925 sv% and a 1.94 GAA in 15 games. Impressive. At the end of the season Mior remained unprotected by the Hawks and was picked up by Dayton Gems in the IHL expansion draft.

Ryan Mior still totally looks like dirty sex. That is all.

________________________________________________
* I wrote this post in July. I am slow
**Kevin Desfosses (Quebec Remparts) had been playing for the Icehawks but by the end of the season he was with the McGill Redmen. Apparently goalies are slutty and they move around a lot. it is just like how Mior quit U.Waterloo and my one-true-love Pier-Olivier Pelletier took his place. I would never call Pier a slut; he is a delight and he smells like candy necklaces.

A warning to boys

Even Konrad Abeltshauser doesn't need to know English to understand this

The Chronicle Herald has some player interviews from after last night's game.

"Once everyone starts getting more comfortable with each other, the chemistry will be there. We’re seeing it already," said Cheremetiev. "I think with any team, when you’ve got a good bunch of guys together for a long period of time you’ll get better as a team.

"But I think we look better than last year. I remember watching our team last year and not being too sure of what to expect. But this year we’ve brought in a lot of really good rookies and I think we’re going to have a lot better team than last year. I think we’re going to surprise a lot of teams."

Rookie netminder Joel Grondin also played well, putting him in good position to secure the backup job

"I faced a lot of shots and I tried to keep the team in the game as best I could," Grondin said in his native French. "I think I was more comfortable than I was the other night in my first pre-season game. I felt good about the way I kept my focus during the game.

"I think I have a good chance to make the team. That’s what I’m here to do and it’s been two weeks now so I hope I’m getting close."

Used to be moose:

Alexis Piette had his first goal for the Mainiacs today in a win over Shawinigan

Finally, former Mooseheads invisible defenceman Richard Greer has moved on to Cape Breton Eagles camp after being dismissed early from the Montreal Jr's training camp. He played fro the Eagles in last night's game against Saint John. He had no points and was a -2. He is also playing tonight's game against Saint John and so far has no points but spent a little time in the penalty box.

My own twist

Why Duma Why? *on knees shaking fists at my no-god* DUMA!!!

So Stefan Dumaresque was cut. Fine. I guess I will just have to settle for Grondin. He is spriggin'. It is just, well, he is a little young for me. If we keep Grondin then my team has no goaltenders of legal drinking age. It makes me feel dirty...like when Yetman and Kennedy were both 18. You can't tag team THAT.

There are 5 goalies remaining at camp. Four if you don't count Corbeil: Collier (19), Grondin (17), Burt (18) and Chisholm (17).

The first preseason home game has been rescheduled for Wednesday at 6:30 at the Halifax Forum. This is my first chance to stare down a goalie in a LOOONG time. Last summer was not so bad: we went to the third round of the playoffs and this was followed by the IIHFs. All I got this summer was fat ball hockey goalies. You will recognize me at the Forum because I will be the small, pasty one who looks like she is suffering from withdrawls.

Yes, I gots the goalie withdraws so BAD that I have been forced to use my Brodeur bobble head as a pacifier. The whole thing fits in my mouth.

With the most recent set of cuts (Dumaresque, B Bernard, Myers, J. Pelletier and Nadeau) the team is now down to 42 players. Five down, 17-20 left to go.


Cherry picking:
Who is likely not going? Well, the team have acquired the rights to forward Matt Stoddard from the Saint John Sea Dogs for a 7th round pick. In addition, Mooseheads 2009 11th round defensive draft pick Stephen Gillard has decided to forgo the NCAA and stay at Moose camp. He had previously committed to the University of Maine Blackbears.

I just have one* thing to say about NCAA prospects. Just because they had decided at some point to go NCAA and then at some other point decided to go back on their word does not make them better than all the other non-NCAA players. Just because they changed their minds it doesn't mean that we have to get on our knees for them. I mean really - where are all the NCAA superstars? Is the NCAA churning out stars en masse? If all these kids decided to go NCAA instead of Q would they have become NCAA stars? If you just answered "not likely" then it is time to get off your damn knees.

With every guy we add to our team my femme-boner softens. I don't feel good about this season. I am sure I will inevitably fall in love with the boys on the final roster...but right now I don't have a lot of hope, not in their ability to play hockey at this level.

For example - remember Matt Snow? The guy who "fell down go boom" - a lot. When Matt left the Moose last year, after playing 25 games (3G, 6A), he went to the Bridgewater Lumberjacks where in 17 games he had 17 goals and 6 assists.

You know who else played for the Lumberjacks? Matt Stoddard. In 17 games he had 6 goals and 11 assists. Not exactly lighting up the MJAHL! Why does Stoddard look so hot in Moose camp? Well, maybe it is because he is playing against a bunch of inexperienced 15 year old Midgit AAA players. Dude is 19.

Matt Snow wasn't good enough for last year's Mooseheads team but Matt Stoddard is good enough for this year's team! Is the Zombie Apocalypse upon us?

Is this really what we want to concentrate our efforts on? He has already failed at the Q level. I don't want him here*. Is that harsh? Do we release one of our veterans just to give Stoddard and some rookies a chance. I would take Charles Bety over Matt Stoddard any day of the week. At least we know what Bety can do in the run of a regular Q season- 14 G, 11 A in 59 games as a 3rd/4th line guy on the worst place team in the league. Stoddard had 7G, 15A in 128 career Q games on a good team. If we dump one of our vets to keep this guy I will scream.

The only other thing I can say is - "prove me wrong Stoddard, prove me wrong"!


A special message from the desk of a girl:
JessyKO Bernard. What the fuck are you made from (my guess is goats cheese)? Why are you injured? - AGAIN!!! At this rate you will be the first to succumb to the zombie apocalypse. Shoulder injury my ass! Toughen up boy. You are like one of those contestants that get injured in warm ups for Dancing with the stars. You are Jewel. Have you seen her dancing? She is no triple threat. At this rate neither are you. Jessyko Bernard: singer, dancer, invalid (?). I don't like the sound of that.


The current 42 zombie roster looks like this. Expect at least two of those 20 year olds to go to parts unknown. The trade deadline was last night and the Moose were seemingly unable to trade anybody.

News:
The Moose are looking to Tomas Knotek for an offensive bump. At this point it looks like the boy may get sucked dry as he is the most prolifically offensive 'well' in the Mooseheads roster - and he had less than a 1PPG average for last season. That is saying a lot.

"I have always been an offensive player so I hope I can score a lot of goals this year and help the team," Knotek said. "Hopefully it will be better than last year."

...Knotek said all summer long his plan was to come back to Halifax for the 2009-10 season. Unlike his 2008-09 teammate Jan Stransky, who jumped at the chance to sign with a pro team back in the Czech Republic, Knotek said that thought never crossed his mind.

"I always knew that I would be back this year," Knotek said. "I didn’t have any reason to stay home (for hockey). I feel really good here and I’m pretty happy in Halifax so I always wanted to come back."

Not surprisingly, Knotek has been the best forward at camp so far by a wide margin. He has been able to score virtually at will during the intrasquad games and has been regularly setting up his linemates for easy finishes. But Knotek shrugged off the early showings, saying it doesn’t mean a whole lot for a veteran to be tearing it up against a bunch of rookies.

"The first (few) days is just August hockey; it’s not really hockey," Knotek kidded. "There were 59 guys here (to start) and half of them I don’t even know. That’s just the way it is at the start of every camp."

__________________________________________________
*yes I am being a bitch today. I almost expect angry letters from mothers.
Grondin picture from http://www.albatroscollegenotredame.ca/

Can I PLEASE have the puppy?

The pre-season is upon us. I have been slack and have not attended training camp. What I hear scares me. I hate to think that some of the veterans are slacking off. I hate the fact that we got a 19 year old defenceman for the purpose of fighting and everybody has been fighting but him, and I hate the fact that at least two 20 year old players will be leaving us.

The first cuts have been made and 10 players on the 59-or-so man training camp roster were sent home.

Lewiston goaltender and conditional tryout Jonathan Connelly was cut, as was Anthony Kimlin, a goalie whose rights we just acquired from Gatineau in the "fighting defenceman" trade. Perhaps most shocking was the release of Jeremie Forbes-Brisebois, especially considering that amongst the goalies at camp he was one of the ones with the fewest goals allowed per game according to Wuest's unofficial intersquad stats.

Even more surprising than all of that is the fact that goaltender Kody Blois chose NOT to attend training camp. Kody was a 2008 draft pick and was considered by some a front runner for the backup goaltender position. Not only is he local boy, but he plays locally, having spent last season with the Halifax Lions of the MJAHL. The only conclusion I can come up with for his absence was that his parents didn't want him to be a Moosehead because they could not stand the idea that I may develop molesty thoughts in his presence. Fair enough.

This leaves goaltending prospects Justin Collier, Randy Chisholm, Joel Grondin, Gatlin Burt and Stefan Dumaresque in the mix. Somewhere along the way Justin Farrell went missing and Gatlin Burt appeared. Farrell is listed in the final intersquad stats but Burt is missing. Burt is listed on the current roster but Farrell is missing. Farrell is not listed as a cut.


Dearest Duma, please pay attention:
The goaltenders (OK I just mis-spelled that goatenders...brilliance) for today's pre-season game against the PEI Rocket were Dumaresque and Grondin. Duma brought home the loss in the shootout. Shame. He is too damn cute for losing and I desperately want him as our backup goalie and that will never happen if he acts like a cheap ho.

He needs to act like a puppy. Fetch that puck before it goes in the net. Bite the opposition. Poop in the crease. I don't care - whatever it takes to keep the puck and the enemy away from the net. We can house train him later.


Other boys:
Speaking of puppies The veterans have been at camp fighting like a bunch of puppies - just for fun like. This is weird. I do not understand how two friends can say "hey wanna fight" and one walks away with a black eye and it is all kinds of fun for everyone. pfffff boys.


Wuest has been keeping track of everything and so I will post a bunch of links here eventually to cover all of the articles in the Metro and the Herald. Each day 5 guys were selected who stood out at the intersquad scrimmages and these are listed below:

Carl Gelinas x 2 (F)
Tomas Knotek* (F)
Dylan McGuigan (F)
Trey Lewis (D)
Andrew Smith (F) - cut
Sawyer Hannay (D)
Linden Bahm* (F)
Jamie Bishop (F)
Gabriel Desjardins* (F)
Jamie MacIntyre (F)- cut
Matt Myers (F)
Guillaume Pelletier (F)*
Matthew Boudreau (F)
Stephen Gillard (D)
_____________________
*returning player


There appears to be some boners going around courtesy of Carl Gelinas. Apparently Bahm and Stoddard are also boner inducing. I refuse to agree. Of those two only Bahm can make me feel that way. Everybody already knows how I feel about Bahm. The way that he plays he might as well be buying me flowers daily....yes it is just that romantical.

Some forwards *ahem, not naming names* seem to think that my love for them is eternal and that they can just slack off. Clearly they have never had a discussion with Bryce Swan about how fickle I can be when it comes to forwards. Unconditional love is for goaltenders only. I will wait to see for myself. Heaven forbid I trust the opinions of message board guys and people who comment in the newspapers.

The NCAA guys all seem to be sticking around. They do this because they hate us. Dudes, stop messing with my head and declare yourselves 'just not that into us' already.


NEWS LINKS:
The Metro
Q-files - too much to mention
Lemieux plans to stick it out at this year's training camp
Herd hopefuls get off to scrappy start at camp
Mooseheads pick up 'big brother' in swap with Olympiques
Russell sees plenty of opportunity at Mooseheads camp

The Herald:
Forward outlook taking shape
Brief QMJHL off-season is officially over
Blue-line battle intensifies
Rookies, vets get jitters out at Moose camp
'Be ready to go'
Russell’s all about attitude
Russell preparing for Moose camp

There, if you didn't know what we were all about before - well, you do now!

__________________________________
In other news former Moosehead Richard Greer was cut from the Montreal Juniors training camp. George Dunn remains. Dunn had 7 minutes in the sin bin for crimes committed against the Shawinigan Chrétien's in yesterday's pre-season game.

Finals tonight

The QMJHL finals began on May 1st. Today they will end. The Shawinigan Cataractes pushed for a game seven with an overtime goal in Sunday's game against Drummondville to even the series at three apiece. The Q is the only league which does not know its Memorial cup contenders yet; with the Windsor Spitfires repping the OHL and the irrationally Dragon logoed Kelowna Rockets taking the W by storm.

This year's contenders for the President's cup are perennial losers: the Drummondville Voltigeurs and the Shawinigan Cataractes. This season marked Shawinigan's 40th anniversary, and despite the fact that they are the longest running team in the league they have yet to win a single President's cup. They really put Cape Breton (11 Y.O.), Halifax (15 Y.O.), Saint John (4 Y.O.) and P.E.I. (5 Y.O.) to shame. In the loser category we Atlantic teams have absolutely nothing on Shawinigan...or Drummondville for that matter. The Voltigeurs are a whopping 26 years old and are also Cupless.

The losing streak will be over tonight for at least on of these teams.

I was not shocked when the Memorial cup hosting Rimouski Oceanic were swept by the Volts. I was not shocked that Maxim Gougeon allowed 23 goals in 137 shots (a 0.83 sv %) during the 4 game series. It was the Gouge!!! Do we all have a short memory or do we remember the guy allowing a shitload of goals in the semifinals against Saint John last year, despite the sweep, as well another bucket full of goals as in the finals against Gatineau. That is what Rimouski get for trading for Gougeon (and then sticking with Gougeon) when any of Pielmeier, Nadeau and Lavigne were available for low, low prices at last year's draft.

Anyway, this is not a post to make Gougeon feel bad. He will still get his chance to play in the Memorial cup. It is a post to say oh he look at all the Anaheim Duck's goalie prospects...or at least it was when I started writing it two weeks ago. Since then, star Q netminder Timo Pielmeier has been benched in favour of newcomer Gabriel Girard... and Shawinigan has come back from a 3-1 deficit to force a game 7.

So it is these goalies:

vs. these goalies:
...but when the tuque de Bison gets onto a boy (or a couple dozen boys) doesn't everybody win.

_______________________
Images from the TuqueDeBison Picassa web albums.

Goalie Rage

Did you see what Tuukka Rask was up to last night? Yeah, I think he stole my panties. With a fit like that happening somewhere in the world I am amazed that my goalie rage induced "spidey senses" didn't start tingling... and by spidey senses I mean ovaries and by tingling I mean "catch the first flight to Providence, lift my skirt, and just bend over". What the hey? Goalie rage is Fucking hot.

Ich bin ein ente

According to TSN:

The Anaheim Ducks made a pair of trades just prior to the NHL's Trade Deadline sending forward Samuel Pahlsson to the Chicago Blackhawks for defenceman James Wisniewski and a draft pick.

The Ducks then shipped forward Travis Moen and defenceman Kent Huskins to the San Jose Sharks for prospect Nick Bonino and goalie Timo Pielmeier and a conditional draft pick.

The KEYWORD here is TIMO PIELMEIER. Timo, goaltender for the Shawinigan Cataractes, signed a three year entry level contract with the Sharks just last summer. This season Pielmeier has a 2.62 GAA and 0.916 save % in 41 games with the second overall ranked Cataractes. This puts him within the top five for both GAA and sv% in the league.

When something 'POPS' up on your site meter, you fuckin' well run with it.

Ugh. You know that when people search things in google and end up on this page - I know what they searched and how they got here. Some people get here because they searched " dog fucking" ... which means that maybe I should never use the words fuck and Sea Dogs in the same sentence ever again.

Some people search things like "Stefan Dumaresque called up to Mooseheads" or "Chad Earle Victoriaville" and " Pier-Olivier Pelletier Waterloo" to which I respond "holy shit, what the fuck" and then I myself do a search in an attempt to find legitimate proof. If I don't find something right away, I tend to let it go.

Why do I quit so easily? - because these searches are always like a prophecy. Nostradamus has nothing on my sitemeter. Stefan Dumaresque WAS called up to the Mooseheads, Chad Earle WAS claimed off waivers by Victoriaville and Pier-Olivier Pelletier IS now with Waterloo (the team which was abandoned by Ryan Mior in October).

I searched the web, I went to the Warriors home page. - NOTHING. What is the point of my "google alerts" when I do not check my e-mail all day? What is the point of my "google alerts" if some news slips past it? Why did this not appear in my inbox 2 months ago?

Well fuck me with the butt end of a goalie stick - because there he is - U Waterloo Warriors hockey. Wuest beat me to it, probably because he is an actual reporter and I am at work, writing about insect olfactory systems... ahem totally.

According to The Record.com:

The Warriors picked up four-year Quebec Major Junior Hockey League veteran goalie Pier-Olivier Pelletier for the winter term.

The 21-year-old puckstopper is a former second-round draft pick of the NHL's Phoenix Coyotes. Freshman goaltender Aaron Barton decided to leave the Warriors as a result.

Which totally reminds me... have I said coooo lately? Yeah, coooo P-O, big-bad mutherfuckin' cooooooo *pigeon mating dance ensues*. I swear to God that if I got my hands on something, like an old sock of his perhaps, I would encase it like Snow White in a glass box, it would be that precious. I would collect cells from it, clone them (I can totally do that) and make myself some tall, beautiful, French goalie children. I would marry that sock and... OK wait... this is getting creepy.

I know...hobo!!!

Two day after the game I am finally writing to say that the Mooseheads lost to the Screaming Eagles by a score of 7-3. See. Not much to say about the game except that it started out like hooray and ended up like neigh. For more info check out Matthew Wuest's most recent blog post.

My Say:
Did nobody tell the team that we are supposed to split the season with Cape Breton? Look-it: 2007-2008, 2006-2007, 2005-2006. Now that is officially impossible, the Eagles have won 5 of 8... and yet the very fabric of the universe has not folded in upon itself. Huh, funny that!

Why the fuck was an injured Yetman put in with 13:43 left in the game? The Moose were already down 6-3, it is not like the boys were going to be able to pull it all together and suddenly get three goals in 13 minutes. It is not like Corbeil was going to feel any less shame upon getting pulled. It is not like Yetman is invincible - and it is totally stupid to put him in a situation where he can re-aggravate his groin injury. You have heard of Roberto Luongo, right? Shit happens, and this can only be likened to the coaches plopping Yetman down into the middle of a cow field. I can feel my fists of fury starting to tingle.


Mo' news:

1) There is a Simon Despres article at Sportsnet. I demand that you love my imaginarily adopted Sea Dog child. Love him.

"I don't like to watch the rankings," Després acknowledged. "If you think it's too easy, you're going to stop working hard."

Després certainly doesn't need a lesson in hard work. "A student of the game, he's always trying to make himself better," his coach said.

Proof of that is evident in practice as Després is not only the first one on the ice but often one of the last off it.

"I like fresh ice," he said sheepishly.

2) Trades are on. PEI are making moves, having already traded Neiderer and Malouin. You can keep track of trade shenanigans at the Q website. This should be a happy time of year but it can be a hard time of year for some of these boys, what with the stress of moving, getting used to new teams, new systems, new schools and making new friends. I wish all the boys well in their new homes and success with their new teams.

Keepin' up with goaltenders

Ryan Mior (Gatineau Olympiques) has signed with the Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs, the CHL affiliate of the Rochester Americans*. Ryan is not currently eligible to play while he waits for immigration approval. OK, that is clear right? He has indeed left the University of Waterloo.

Ondrej Pavelec (Screaming Eagles) had made threats earlier in the season to not report to the Atlanta Thrashers AHL affiliate the Chicago Wolves...but he is indeed back with the Wolves and has played three games so far this season.

The IHL's Port Huron Icehawks have added former Quebec Remparts goaltender Kevin Desfosses, who had recently been released by the Ottawa Senator's ECHL affiliate Elmira Jackals.

AUS Hockey's regular season has begun. Last night PEI faced- off against UNB and Jhase Sniderman was in nets for UPEI. I have no idea how to keep track of this university team stuff. These teams have to update their webpages and their rosters already. Anyway, my imaginary lover Travis Fullerton was in nets for UNB, and unfortunately UNB took a rare loss (in overtime). "We" blame the defense. Why am I writing about this you ask? You know how I LOVE Fullerton - I can't help myself.

* I like to make mistakes when it comes to affiliates

And she's off

That is it. I might not post for a while since I will be out of the country. Just thought it was important to say that Kirk Rafuse did not make the cut in Lewiston and Marc-Antoine Gélinas got traded from PEI to Gatineau. Gatineau likes the PEI goalie scraps.

I want to wish good luck and kisses to all three of the Mooseheads remaining backup goalie candidates. I feel sorry for whoever makes the team...because then they will have to deal with me and my crazy ass. Whomever fails to make the Moose can still join my small goalie army and automatically earn a place in my heart...all they have to do to earn membership is let me know that they know about me. My goalies can be blogger-bunnies. Skanky little blogger-bunnies. I bet they tell all the hockey bloggers that they love them.

fight fight fight

Last night the Halifax Mooseheads defeated the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles 5-2. You can check out the scoring recap here. It was pretty sweet to see boys gliding around in Mooseheads Jerseys and even sweeter to see a little line of boys in suits heading towards the dressing room and Jakub Voracek walking within touching distance of me. No, I did not touch.

Oh dear god that line of boys in suits. I do not have the skills to definitively recognize the boys yet, not even my goalies - although I think I would indeed recognize Jeremie given that he is 6'6" and ever so pouty, and thus he would be hard to miss.

Knowing they could someday be a Moosehead makes these boys cuter than all the other boys in the world. I walked by the line - cute, cute, cute, Pender, cute, cute, sigh. However, the first boy in the line of besuited young'ins was the cutest of all; he was 1000 puppies in a basket of kitten skins - all shaved head, pink-cheeked, button-nosed and begging for cookies. Yes, he was that cute. If THAT was Dumaresque - squee!!!


Ben MacAskill got damaged in the first and had to leave the game with a shoulder injury. White was all 'tucked jersey' and he wore the captain's C. He wore it well. He also had two assists. It is weird to see him be the guy that refs turn to when doling out explanations and justice. My Whitey is all grown up. Wuest even wrote a White story for the Metro.


There were fights, fights, fights, galore. All of Marchand, Grant* and Bahm fought. Marchand, like his brother, seems a touch hotheaded.

Three fights and a half naked Eagle

Here is the thing with Bahm. I think I am starting to like him - he literally stripped an Eagle right in front of me. When we acquired him at the draft via trade I looked at him in his nasty Shawinigan jersey, with his ever so unstyling Pomin-do (the hairdo of a Pommerdoodle - which is half retriever, half poodle and all Jason Pominville) and said Agggghhh NO. Then we put him in a Moose Jersey and he skated around hitting things, put a helmet on to cover up his Pomin-do, and started stripping down Eagles and I was all Ahhhh yes, yes, yes. Somehow, in the past few days he also got cuter. I think that once again it is the magic of the Mooseheads jersey.

Luckily for us Belarus Rik got it all on video so we can watch Bahm destroy the Eagle over and over again.





Then there are the the goalies. Forbes-Brisebois started the game and he looked like he had 'playing the puck urges' but he did not actually wander out of the net to do it. He did reach out once and poke the puck off to his left to get it away from the net. The poor boy was not very challenged and he just stood there for most of his 30 minutes, having only faced 9 shots (and allowing no goals -horray). He sometimes looks a little uncoordinated but I think that happens when you have legs for days. He has to be careful about opening that 5 hole.


Yeti had shiny new gear and he somehow manages to seduce me no matter how hard I resist. He allowed two goals in 18 shots, both glove side (I think). The first happened when he left a big chunk of net open, he went down, and the puck skimmed just over the top of his trapper. The second was on a crazy snipe. Do I fault him? Nah, I am way too seduced. Does this mean that I got over my non-hockey related Yeti induced rages? - yes, mostly. Sometimes I want to punch him and sometimes I want to cuddle him.

Edit - crazy news. Mooseheads centreman Yuri Cheremetiev has received an invite to Bruins training camp. English has decided to leave training camp, and Wuest has written a piece about O'Brien along with coverage of last night's game and the players who shined. Palov has also written about O'Brien - it is O'Brien mania all up in here.

*oops I made a mistake. In my pics it looks like #19 was fighting (Ned O'Brien) but it was actually Gerrad Grant (#79). Sorry for the mix up.

Drumroll please

The polls have closed and my new QMJHL boyfriend for the 2008-2009 season has been chosen. This does not mean that I will be abandoning my old boyfriends, they just get relegated to a different part of my heart. What getting a new boyfriend means is that this is the boy to which I shall devote my affections throughout 2008-2009.

This is the boy who 1) can do no wrong, 2) will be the target of my desire to smell fluffy pre-game hair 3) receives theoretical shoulder and leg rubs after long, hard games 4) gets coos of affection for fancy saves, 4) or coos of pity for having to ride the pine and 5) will be smothered in tonnes and tonnes of cuddles and all-over face kisses. This boy is Stefan Corbeil-Brisebois. Wait, we do not have a backup goalie yet! I can't believe that the fate of me and my number one QMJHL boyfriend has been left in the hands of Russel, Patenaude and Dallaire. Ugh.

But ya know what - all of Stefan Dumaresque, Mathieu Corbeil-Thériault and Jeremie Forbes-Brisebois look perfectly cromulent - I would nuzzle any one of them. I would, in fact, nuzzle all three. Preferably all at once. See you tonight boys!

Here is how the voting breaks down. There were 33 votes and any voter can vote only once but they can vote for more than one boy at a time which is why there were 39 votes in total. Even my young niece voted and she, like me, was very high on Bobby Nadeau; her logic being that he had a trophy so he is clearly better than the other boys. Oh the threesomes we would have had with that trophy my dearest Bobby. But don't worry, I have a problem being faithful and will indeed accept dates with you when you glide into town.

Yeti - 5 votes
The backup goalie cluster - 11 votes
Bobby Nadeau - 4 votes
Timo Pielmeier - 7 votes
Louis Boileau-Domingue - 2 votes
Olivier Roy - 5 votes
Andrew White - 3 votes
Charles Lavigne - 0 votes (poor Charlie)
Raffaele D'Orso - 2 votes