They are making me feel like a loba

I am trying to figure out what exactly Cam Russel is trying to do to me by inviting 10 additional goalies to camp. Yes 10!!! Am I frustrated already? You betcha! I feel heartbreak setting in. I hate watching them get picked off and sent home, one-by-one.

First, we have returning goaltender Mathieu Corbeil (18) who would actually count as goalie #11. If Mat is well behaved and plays this upcoming season like he ended his play in January of last season then we shouldn't have a problem.

Unfortunately for him, if the Moose bring in a 19 year old goalie to back him up, that player is automatically upped to official high-ranking boyfriend status (I am looking at you Dumaresque and Brisebois). Elite boyfriend status is reserved for 20 year olds. Those Mooseheads goalies will then remain my ibffl (imaginary boyfriend for life) - at least until they lose their hair or get married, whichever comes first. Jeremy Duchesne must have really disliked me because he followed up hair loss with marriage and he is only 22ish. We are sooooo broken up.

Invitees:
Jérémie Forbes Brisebois -19-
Pros: tall, has playing the puck urges

Cons: age, distractingly pouty lips, a whole lot of legs worth of 5-hole, will make Mathieu feel normal sized

Forbes-Brisebois image from Multiconcessionnaire website

Brandon Decker (edit- nope) -18-
Pros: bold 'n saucy Newf (just a guess), looks brooding and intense, just the right size, once wore orange pads (it is my favorite colour), thinks Miley Cyrus is ugly
Cons: bold n' saucy Newf (WTF are the Moose trying to do to me?), likes Lundqvist

Decker image from the Icepack website

Draftees:
Stefan Dumaresque -19-
Pro's: cute as 1000 puppies in a basket of kitten skins, very violently scrappy (and goalie rage makes me feel funny down there), did I mention that he was cute?, good stats when playing for the Western Caps, his name is dreamy
Cons: stats while with the Tigers (but his team was baaaaaad), normal boyfriend size, age

Dumaresque image from MJAHL website

Kody Blois -18-
Pros: good save % on a crappy team, eyebrows* to die for
Cons: likes baseball, unfortunate hair choices, normal boyfriend size, GAA (but his team was baaaaaad), grammar - 'proved' is not a word but but 'tryoutees' totally is.

Blois picture from Halifax Lion's website

Joel Grondin -17-

Pros: won a defensive player award once, fluffy helmet hair, just the right size
Cons: looks better without the hat

Grondin picture from L'avantage en ligne

Conditional tryoutees:
Jonathan Connelly -18-
pros: QMJHL experience, Travis Fullerton was a Lewiston reject - we may be on to something here
cons: possibly less cute than our draft pics (Cam and Marcell liked them cuddly looking) but you can't trust Lewiston team photos, size (small and skinny)

Connelly image from QMJHL website

OK that is ONLY 6 additional goalies. So who are the rest? I am missing four. Step up and fess up boyos...or don't. I wish I had sources.

EDIT: Well Matthew Wuest just answered my question by posting the entire training camp roster. Brandon Decker is OUT. A birdie says Moncton? Lucky bastards! Other boys on the list include Justin Collier (19), Anthony Kimlin (19), Gatlin Burt (18), Justin Farrell (18) and Randy Chisholm (17).


*this is perhaps the MOST important thing in the world

Goalie Rage

Did you see what Tuukka Rask was up to last night? Yeah, I think he stole my panties. With a fit like that happening somewhere in the world I am amazed that my goalie rage induced "spidey senses" didn't start tingling... and by spidey senses I mean ovaries and by tingling I mean "catch the first flight to Providence, lift my skirt, and just bend over". What the hey? Goalie rage is Fucking hot.

Come sit next to me you fine fellow!

Raffaele D'Orso is the CHL ADT Goaltender of the week, beating out Spokane Chief's Dustin Tokarski and Scott Stajcer of the Owen Sound Attack for the honours. Toka and Stajcer think they are so fancy with their gold medals, memorial cups and being the 2nd overall CS North American goaltending prospect in the 2009 draft. Bah on their fancyness! Raf is still our boy; our itty-bitty, teenie-tiny chinstrapified goalfenceman.

Last week he "won three games for the Foreurs including one shutout victory stopping a total of 133 shots with a goals-against-average of 1.33 and a save percentage of .971.

D’Orso, who celebrated his 20th birthday this week, is from Montreal, Quebec and in his third full QMJHL season with the Foreurs. D’Orso and the Foreurs have now won four games in a row and are making a late season push for the playoffs."

20 eh? (tick, tick, tick)

I feel funny down there

Ladies of Fredericton, please give Travis Fullerton (former Sea Dogs goaltender) some loving. I can't do it; I am too old and too far away to get my grubby hands on him. You know you love him, yes, you know you do. He is irresistible. But...keep your hands off my goddamn Fullerton Jersey this time - it is mine. Bitch, I will claw your eyes out.

From the daily gleaner:

UNB goaltender Travis Fullerton bumped his personal string of shutout minutes to 254 minutes, 38 seconds and recorded his league-leading third shutout of the season, turning aside 13 shots.

Fullerton shook off the shutout stat as coolly as he did any of the 13 shots the Tommies sent his way this night.

"It's a good individual stat," he shrugged when presented with the number. "Obviously, I'm extremely happy to be playing well. But it's just a stat, it doesn't really mean anything."

Fullerton went long stretches without touching the puck. The Tommies didn't get their first shot until the game was 11 minutes old. It was 12 minutes into the third before Fullerton got to participate.

It doesn't really mean anything? Dude, it means, like, 12 free blowjobs or something. The naughty kind. Clearly you must be able to receive some sort of sexual services for this.

I could lick a goalie

Damn ex-boyfriends. They are doing things in the University game that none of my QMJHL boyfriends are doing lately.

Former Saint John Sea Dogs goaltender Travis Fullerton and his new UNB teammates shut out Acadia 5-0. Fullerton made 23 saves for his second shutout of the season.

According to the Daily Gleaner:

Travis Fullerton and the University of New Brunswick Varsity Reds just keep on rolling.

The freshman goaltender turned in his second straight shutout and extended his string of shutout minutes to 194 minutes, 38 seconds with a 5-0 shutout of the Acadia Axemen in Atlantic University Sport Men's Hockey Conference action in Wolfville, N.S. Friday night.

Fullerton, who blanked the St. Thomas Tommies 8-0 in his last start, hasn't surrendered a goal since the second period of an 8-2 victory over the Dalhousie Tigers on Jan. 10.

Today UNB played Dal - Yeomans was in net, because UNB hates me and they just don't want Fullerton and I to be together; he and his stretchy skills, and me and my skills watching eyes - a match made in goalie peepers heaven.

edit - current stats GAA = 1.65 and sv% = 0.917 with 4 wins, 2 losses.

I could hug a goalie

From the University of Waterloo Warriors homepage:

Re. a game against the Laurier Golden Hawks (Jan 22rd) in which the Warriors won 3-0 (yeah, second shutout)

At times it appeared the Warriors were sitting back trying to protect their lead, which may have led to a Laurier comeback if not for the acrobatic goaltending of Pier Pelletier (QC). Pelletier had his third strong performance since joining the Warriors and brought his save percentage up to a ridiculous .986.

Re. the game against Western on Jan 23th, a 4-3 loss

The Warriors got off to a slow start in this one and found themselves playing much of the first period in their own end. Western could have easily gone taken control of the game in the first if not for Pier Pelletier (St. Loius-du-Ha!Ha!, QUE), who once again wowed the crowd with his acrobatics between the pipes.

Now that is a goalie I can get behind: he looks good, he smells good, and his cheeks turn the cutest shade of pink when he blushes because you embarrassed him (or scared him, because you are a creepy MOFO) .

Bah...It WAS a conspiracy!

Can't trust the coach, can't trust the owners, and you most definitely can't trust the players. If I can call out my boyfriend for being a douche two nights ago then I can most definitely call out my team. I am so sick of games and lies.

According to Wuest's most recent game notes:

It has apparently been four straight games since 17-year-old rookie goaltender Mathieu Corbeil recovered from a hand injury and was cleared to start. The Mooseheads have gone with 20-year-old Mark Yetman instead, which indicates a change in philosophy.

Marcel Patenaude, fired as GM four games ago, had stated his intention to share starts between Yetman and Corbeil 50-50.

Corbeil hasn’t started since Jan. 4, but Russell said post-game there is a good chance he’ll start Sunday against Cape Breton in Sydney.

PS. Bahm gets cookies...as soon as I get around to it. I was too drunk to be baking last night.

Dear haters,

From the University of Waterloo Warriors home page:

Friday night also marked the first regular season game of new goaltender Pier Pelletier. Pelletier spent the previous four seasons playing in the QMJHL for the Drummondville Voltigeurs and the Halifax Mooseheads. In 2005, the Phoenix Coyotes made him their second round selection, 59th overall, in the NHL entry draft.

Though Pelletier wasn’t tested much in the game, he turned away all 15 shots he faced to record his first career OUA win and shut-out. His ability to play the puck will undoubtedly cause problems for the Warriors opposition.

With little time to celebrate Friday night’s win, the Warriors were back at it on Saturday playing host to the RMC Paladins. Pelletier once again got the call for the Warriors as he looked to keep his career starting shut-out streak intact. He was finally beaten for a goal in this one, but it wasn’t until late in the third period with the Warrior win already in hand.

Ohhh snap. This was for everybody that bitched, and bitched, and bitched about the goaltending last year, and this year, and every year since what seems like the beginning of time. Shut the fuck up and give these kids a break will ya?

PS. Cooooooooooo

That was mean

Dearest Yeti
I am sorry. I was walking the dog this morning and I found you out sleeping under the step like a homeless cur. You are not a two bagger. It was just plain mean of me to say that. I think it was a delayed Tourettes-like response to your comment in last weeks game program where you told the world you were good looking. Maybe you were joking, maybe it was tongue in cheek like when Ryan Sparling said he liked Laguna Beach and figure skating (please tell me that was a joke) in last year's Sea Dogs profiles.

No, you are perfectly cute. See. This is you sitting at the bench looking kinda cute. You do not want to be the guy sitting at the bench just looking cute, now do you?
Yes, sometimes you look kinda cute. You look cuter when you play well. Mind you, you will never be that hot guy who works in the Second cup at the Dalhousie library. He has the spriggin'ist nose and the most delightfully pouty upper lip. I would shove the entire Mooseheads roster down a flight of stairs if they stood between me and my chance to nibble his lips.

Please play better today.

Your reluctant lover
Q-girl

I'd like to buy a goalie coach, Pat.

Blink blink. Blink. Blink. Blink blink. Wha? Oh sorry. Was there a game tonight? That would explain why I got to give Bobby Nadeau a stare down for the past 2.5 hours.

Why don’t I stare down my goalies? Do the Moose have goalies? Oh Yeah Mathieu. He is sooo big. He is the cute little, big thing that let a few slip by him but I cannot say that they were horrible goals. Baby is just a baby. He will get better (when he moves to a different team and is no longer coached by Pat Dallaire). At least he didn’t get the loss. My little, big, baby boyfriend is not a loser like that.

Holy big, baby goalie.

Who lost the game? I think I recall some 'two-bagger' flopping around by the side of the net, deflecting a high shot into the net with his own goddamn blocker, reacting too soon for a glove side shot, and just sitting around on his knees. He allowed 4 goals on 11 shots (5 dangerous shots). What is that guy's name again? Damn I forget!!! I hate when I forget a goalie's name. Damn near kills me. Whoever he is, he is not even invited into the house tonight! That hobo can sleep outside in a cardboard box.*

Ya know what the great thing about 20 year old players is - you can trade them or dump them at any time during the year.

There is however another solution. Can we fucking FIRE DALLAIRE ALREADY?

…or while we are at it can we bring in Dumaresque. He is quite coo-liebe. He is 1000 puppies in a basket of kitten skins. What team couldn’t use 1000 puppies on the ice to distract their opponents? Oh right he would need a good goalie coach! Forget it! Dallaire would just break him too!

Oh well. At least PEI can defeat someone. Yes they whopped us 7-2. Good for them. They did not look like the half-assed ball-lickers we played in the first half of last Fridays game, they were more machine than man. Oh no wait! Maybe the problem was that the Moose were more petit enfant than man. Yeah, that is it. The falling down, the fanning on shots. Sometimes I wished Nadeau would just come over and poke my eyes out with the blunt end of his stick – but then I remembered that if I were blind I would not be able to see him. That would be a damn shame.

I am glad I peeped you Mr Nadeau. You play pretty.

Notes:

PEI

• Olssen is soo teeny tiny, like Brian Gionta sized. No literally Brian Gionta sized. He is 5’7”. It is like watching timbits hockey with him out there.
• Tousingant was balls to the fucking wall.
• I remember why I fell in love with Bobby Nadeau.
• No don’t skate into Bobby’s fancy boy bits. Owwwwwwww. He needs those for being “a lover not a fighter”. Also I came to this game to watch him, not Evan Mosher. It was good because he came out of it with a 0.926 save% on 27 shots. Ya know what I like about sweet, edible, Bobby Nadeau? When the puck gets passed from the left to the right Bobby has been trained well enough to keep his torso upright, lift his leg, push off, and get into position on the other side of the crease. Bravo. It is like he has actually been trained in goaltending.

Moose:

• Desjardins – nice one. Really, really nice one.
• Bernard - I went to the bathroom. I hear in that time Bernard slammed MacMillan into the boards. Dude, I know he just got back from Anaheim and you might not recognize him yet but he is on our team…white is our team’s home jersey colour and Logan is our “star” player. K? Don’t hit Moose, hit Rocket!
• Ben MacAskill – That move. You was smoooooth baybee: coming into the neutral zone, putting the puck off the boards, getting around the PEI player, picking the puck back up, and swooping around the other PEI player to get into their zone. I almost fucking cried. I hope you get a nice puckbunny tonight. You deserve it. Not the STDs, you don’t deserve those, just that chance to feel special, ya know! Better yet, if you have a real girlfriend, go home with her and let her treat you well. Or just curl up with a good book, whichever you prefer. Surely you deserve some sort of special hockey prize. Since you did not get a “star” I will give you one of my special stars. They are made of cardboard and macaroni, then spraypainted gold and they have sparkles glued to them. Yours gets extra sparkles.
• Yuri Cheremetiev - hello Russian! You know that #89 was Alexander Mogilny's number right? I assume that is why you wear it. You shouldn't be wearing that number - you make it look bad.
  

You want an actual game recap with a scoring summary and shit. Nuts to you! Visit the QMJHL website game recap. I am way too lazy to be copying details from there. YES, I am a BITCH today. A huge Bitch.


News Links:
Matthew Wuest (Metro) - Corbeil shows flashes in home debut (agreed - I like him... and as my official Q boyfriend of the season he gets coos of sympathy for goals against, and coos of appreciation for nice saves)
Matthew Wuest (Metro) - Game notes, Rocket 7, Mooseheads 2
Matthew Wuest (Metro) - Pender shows off his cannon (oh, that sounds dirty)
Willy Palov (Chronicle Herald) - Whole new Look


* I may be over-reacting

Team White, Team Red ... and Jakub Voracek?

Hockey Canada has posted the results for the 1st Team Canada under 18 scrimmage taking place at their training camp in Calgary. Team White defeated team Red 2-0. My chubbycheeked cuddlebunny Maxime Clermont (Gatineau) allowed the only goal of the game, the other was an empty netter.

Who were the glorious goaltenders to get that shutout: that's right! our boy Olivier Roy (Screaming Eagles) and some young west coast chap named Nathan Lieuwen (Westside - BCHL).

While I am on an OliRoy roll I am just going to post an old you tube video of an Eagles vs Wildcats game from the 2007-2008 season. At about 6:00 into the video Nicolas Chouinard interviews his teammate Olivier about his recent shutout performance en Francais. They switch to English at about 8:00 into the video.



Don't tell me that you do not want to take Olivier Roy home, tie him to a chair in your kitchen, and force feed him cookies. Without the playoff skullet HE IS ADORABLE...and this is coming from a Mooseheads fan - sworn mortal enemy of the Eagles, or at least I should be were I not from Cape Breton. For you see I am a Moose convert - a traitor. I can't go home. They will gouge out my eyes.

There is still a fleck of Eagle love in my heart (lodged near one of my valves - if it is removed I might die) which persists because that team plays with so much grit and intensity that they make it difficult not to love them. But when you live with 25 Moose, who are so sweet and cuddly soft, it is difficult not to love them as well.

Anyway, back to Hockey Canada: The Victorious team White features Mooseheads forward Old Man Randell, David Gilbert (Quebec Remparts), Matthew Brown (Moncton), Gleason Fournier (Rimouski) and Mikael Tam (Quebec).

Team Red features Simon Després (Saint John), Hubert Labrie (Gatineau), Yeti Jr. (Shawinigan), and Steven Anthony (Saint John).

What did our glorious Q players do? I have no idea! All I can say is that the Q-boys combined for no goals, no assists and not even a single penalty. I guess that taking no penalties is good!


__________________________________

Hockeyscene.com has a feature on Mooseheads winger and 2007 BlueJackets 1st round draft pick Jakub Voracek. While I love to copy and paste everything here - I will instead refer you to the Hockey Scene website.

It would seem that the Blue Jackets are taking very serious look at keeping Jakub even though he will only be 19 this season. They say his main weakness is his reluctance to shoot, preferring instead to use his remarkable vision to act as a playmaker.

Picking a New Q Boyfriend

I need a new QMJHL boyfriend for the 2008-09 season. Someone to love for all the wrong reasons, someone for whom my love is driven by tra-la-la-feelingbits and not tra-la-la-statbits*.

Yeah, I know, by default it should be Mark Yetman. He is, after all, the Mooseheads starting goaltender for next season, and slightly more age appropriate than many other boys in the Q given that this will be his 20 year old season. As I have said many times before "That's what I love about these Q-boys. I get older, they stay the same age." But what if, just what if, a jr hockey blogger discovers, for various reasons, both game related and personal, that she does not like her starting goaltender. That she may, in fact, believe her starting goaltender to be a complete and utter asshat. What then?

Of course, I will continue to treat him with the same level of civility I treat all players that grow appropriate non-douchy facial hair. I will continue to praise him for good games, I will still proclaim him mildly adorable -like a 5 year old elf with stumpy fingers. I will just have to trade in my customized 'fear the Yeti' shirt for something more appropriate like an 'I do not believe in abominable netminders' or perhaps even a '17 YO newbie> Yetman' t-shirt.

This puts me in a delicate situation - who shall be my # 1 QMJHL boyfriend? Is it time to go outside of the Moose, or do I just stick with the Moose and, heaven forbid, choose a hockey boyfriend who is not a goalie?

We already know I have proclaimed Bobby Nadeau of the PEI rocket, my new #1 non-Mooseheads goalie boyfriend. So should I stick with Nadeau? He is, afterall, making the move East to be with me. What about some of my old goalie lovers that have moved West like Timo Pielmeier (Shawinigan) or Charles Lavigne (Quebec)? Do I dare venture into the realms of the age-inappropriate love by choosing a youngin' like Louis Domingue, Maxime Clermont or Olivier Roy?

Ist es Liebe, Timo?

I am going to post a poll and let all y'all decide. My poll will be posted to the right. It was hard to whittle it down to 8, but my choices are:

1) Give Yeti one more chance
2) Go with our as of yet undecided backup
3) Bobby Nadeau came all this way for what?
3) Timo Pielmeier looks like a boy you might want to smell
4) Nuts to ageism - Louis Domingue is tall, pouty, toothy and Quebecois
5) Olivier Roy has the skillz to pay the billz
6) Andrew White - forward shmorward. Love the one you're with.
7) Charles Lavigne gives good poke-check.
8) Raffaele D'Orso deserves to be drafted - into your harem.

I need a boyfriend before the start of the next season.

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* Tralala feeling-bits brought to you by Pookie and Schnookie at IPB

Ohhhhhh baby

I was wandering about on the East Division chat boards when I came across some scouting footage of my favorite new baby goalie Louis Boileau-Domingue, 1st round draft pick of the Moncton Wildcats. I am so desperate for some sweet sweet puckhandling right now that I will settle for watching 16 year old boys do their thing.

Here is Louis in warmup... and here is a game time video montage.

He is a righty, which makes him different (special even), and he looks calm under pressure. He does some of that athletic spinning and rolling around, and like he likes to handle the puck, which by Q-girl standards makes him excellent future 'imaginary goalie boyfriend' material. I even see him there communicating with his boys - and every girl likes a boy who keeps the lines of communication open.

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Picture from Le Messager LaSalle

When two of your boyfriends meet

Tonight is going to be a blast. Lewy faces off against Saint John for the last time this season and I hope it is rocking. It is always fun when two of my favorite goalies are fighting for my love. It is especially poignant because the Mooseheads last two home games are against Lewiston and Saint John respectively.

It might just be too much for me to take. Bernier (please), Fullerton (if there is a God in heaven, please oh pretty, pretty please, with cherries on top), and Pelletier (hopefully, if not, Cam will see the backside of my hand) in my barn, all in the run of five days. The chances of immaculate conception are very high. I am suspecting that our baby will be the second coming of Martin Brodeur and that once born, every year after that will be 'the year a goalie stops everything' - war, famine, prejudice, pucks - literally everything.

I hope our baby comes out looking like baby Steve Mason, pads and all. It will likely be birthed in the stands or if I am driven crazy enough I will run into the crease and permanently affix myself to one of the baby daddy's legs (most likely Pelletier), and birth the baby there - in which case it will need its protective gear. Don't worry, immaculate conception babies just appear - it's not messy.

But who will I choose to help raise our baby? Last time I had a date with Pelletier he got phone numbers from 4 other girls, three of which were total tarts. I was sooo pissed I had to call up Yeti and get him to drive me home. On my last date with Bernier I was expecting a nice box of chocolates, maybe something Austrian/German like Mirabell Mozart Marzipan Kugeln, I got Ganongs instead. Fullerton was a good date, he gave me ....uuhhh, let's just call it satisfaction. The satisfaction is very important. Fully has also given me a recent bout of goalie rage and a poke-check in a shootout. It would appear as if he is thinking of me and trying to keep me happy even when he isn't playing in Halifax. What have you done for me lately P-O? No, looking pretty while riding the pine doesn't count. P-O and Bernier really have to step it up the next time they play in Halifax.

____________________________________________
Baby Steve Mason pic from TSN's world Jr Page photo gallery

Little Gifts

Dear Moose
Why do you give me pretty little gifts in fancy boxes on Wednesday only to turn around on Thursday and ask for those gifts back?

Yetman - Should I call you Yetty or Yeti? One of these is not a word (unless it is a word in Nfld ), the other is mysterious ice creature which conjures fear in the hearts of men. You choose. Anyway, good show last night. Apart from the shittiness of a goal during 5 on 3 play, your play in nets was on par with the Yetman of yor (aka - last year). Sure, you only faced 12 shots, but who is counting? Congrats and welcome back. I have missed you. I hope you can keep it up. As for the 5 on 3 PP goal - I think the refs were purposely attempting to screw with you just as you stepped into the nets in an attempt to break your fragile goalie brain. They could not break it. Fear the Yeti/Yetty.

Bouchard - Are you the new Steve Lund? Please stop taking penalties. Tell the refs that there is a vicious "female of the species" in the stands and that if they give you one more mystery call- "minor penalty to # 29 David Bouchard, two minutes for existing" I will climb over glass and rip out their throats with my bare teeth. I will do this in the most gruesome of manners and not in the more pleasant but grossly inappropriate "how I would nibble on the neck of Travis Fullerton" way.

White - You are always fun to watch. We can't say you never tried. But for the love of God, please shave. You are starting to look like a puppy. While I like you, and I love puppies, we really don't need you looking like a puppy. That being said, you do deserve some sort of treat for every puck you put in the net, because that is your special puppy trick. You didn't get a treat last night, but I am sure that if you keep it up one will be coming your way soon enough. I hope that your teammates appreciate you.
PS- While we are at it could you also shave Graham, including the back of his neck. It is getting nasty back there.

MacMillan - I have one word for you. Feisty. That is all.

Monast - If we are an offensive powerhouse, why is it that the only guy to score a goal last night was a defenceman? Good job Guy. Please take this goal, and your goal from Wednesday, and half of your third star privileges (also from Wednesday), as well as your good defencive play as of late, and throw them into the faces of every so-called offensive leader and delusional demi-God on your team. This does not include Voracek who is exempt from all punishment because he is not delusional, and because he may indeed have been promoted to God status - I wouldn't know because I haven't been to church lately. Now, take the other half of your 3rd star and give it to P-O for his performance on Wednesday, and then hastily take it away because of his performance on Thursday. That is what he gets for being such a tease.

Pelletier - Yes, you are a tease. The terrifying highs, the dizzing lows, and that is just what you do to me - it has nothing to do with the game. We (and by we, I mean you) were getting soooo close to 10th in the league again, and so close to a 0.9%. Baby steps. Learn from the little mistakes, keep your mind on the game and your eye on the puck. We need the real P-O, especially now that the D are playing like they are a goalie's best friend. Forget about the fact that I occasionally cheat on you with other goalies (I am ever so sorry). Everyone knows that you have me totally wrapped around your blocker, so you don't have to worry about my wandering eye. Forget about all the old fucks who call themselves Mooseheads fans and yet spend all their time ripping apart 20 year old boys just to make themselves feel better. It is as if dissing kids will make them a "real hockey fan". This is not Philly, so why does it feel like the fans are such douchebags?

Some of us actually like you, so please be the goalie that we know you can be. If only there was a candy that could express how I truly feel. I suggest you go to "Freak Lunchbox" on Barrington Street and buy yourself some POP-Rocks (I already have some for you but the truth of the matter is that I will never actually meet you to be able to give them to you). Put them in the locker room with your gear, and before every game look at them to remind yourself that you do indeed rock. Then go out onto our home ice and play like you rock. This will involve being a little bit bolder (you seem scared at home....you take less risks), playing the puck more (a-la the game in Baie Comeau), and continuing to challenge the shooters. You are the goalie, you know what you have to do.

Anyway, when I say "Bring it on", you say "It has been broughten!". I will be the one legitimately cheering every time a puck fails to enter the net.

Are you tired? Do you want to hear a bedtime story my little goalie? One Sunday during a game there was a douche who was sitting behind me and he voiced aloud that he thought you should stay deep in the crease during shootouts and not come out to challenge the shooters - HELLO!!! It is called cutting down the angle. Fucking Douche (I should not use such curse words in bedtime stories). Actually he didn't say to stay in the crease, he said to stay in your net - maybe like a little net troll (bedtime story made more 'bedtimey' by the addition of mythical creatures). This man is a season ticket holder, so he should know hockey by now. Let us all have a good laugh...because these are the kinds of people who judge you so harshly.

If it is any consolation, it looks like you totally scared the shit out of Benda. What a dirty look. Last night you reached an all time high for disgusted faces and dirty looks. Pissed off goalies may not be the most effective of players but they are the hottest kind of goalies.

Cam - the lines were great, the team seemed to be gelling, and we were actually winning games. So why the fuck did you have to go and change up the lines?

Everyone,
Think of it this way, we were destined to lose. Such is the yearly split between the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles and the Halifax Mooseheads. Four wins for us, four wins for them. It has been this way since the beginning of time, or at least it feels that way. To alter this delicate balance might have resulted in a tear of the space-time continuum. A win would have been nice, like a little kiss on the Sea Dog's collective foreheads to remind them where we stand. As of right now, we are breathing down their necks and I think it is turning them on more then it is scaring them. That is not right. I can live with a loss...next time however, can we make it a slightly less a shitty loss.

Now go play hockey like you mean it.
Q-girl

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A few other things of note:

Smith - I have wanted to say this for a long time but have had no outlet to do so until now, so bare with me: I know you are not playing right now and that you have a boo-boo on your hand which exempts you from taking any blame for Thursday's loss. Despite this, I am sure we have some fans out there that could still find a way to blame you. Here is my comment and question regarding you, and it is more a statement on the mentality of some Mooseheads fans: You are a big boy at 6'4 (yes, at 18 you are still just a boy), but did you ever think that you would would be the target of such widespread and aggressive bullying? Did you think that this bullying could come from men who are old enough to be your father? Chin-up little buddy. You may be 18 and probably act like you are 18, but at least you are not 45 and still acting like you are 18.

Goyens - I never had you pegged as a bad boy. Clearly I was wrong. Lucky for you that you never felt the full wrath of my love (yes my love IS a wrath) or I might have a harder time letting you go. You know you are 19 and you will never see another game in the Q again, right? OK. Just clearing that up. I don't know what you did to get kicked off of the team, but you were warned - so why did you have to go and be such a silly fool?
Kisses and a firm paddling on the ass. Now go home and cry to mommy and daddy.