It's not that I don't like you...

...I'm just kinda busy.

Admittedly, I have been negligent. Today I am stuck on a microscope, and while it scans my preps I have nothing to do in my downtime but proofread my paper for the publishers (blech) OR blog (hooray?).
 I choose to blog. I am about 7 days too late and this is a quickie, so you'll have to excuse the mess (spelling and grammar wise).

Tonight the Mooseheads will be in Quebec city to take on Delmas' OTHER old team, the Quebec Remparts, and their new fluffy adorable netminder LBD. No offence to LBD, but I hope the Moose can challenge him tonight...and win (big disillusioned dreams, I know).

Last weekend the Mooseheads took on the Bathurst Titan and the PEI Rocket in two really hard fought games. They lost both of them but managed to walk away with a point from the PEI game, which went into a shootout. Let me explain in more detail.

Halifax Mooseheads vs Bathurst Titan (Loss 2-1)
The game started wonderfully with a Mooseheads goal by Charles Bety only a minute into the game. However after that, the Mooseheads took shot after shot but they couldn't score. They made Lacerte look so awesome (except they really didn't...but statistically they did) that he was even nominated for the QMJHL defensive player of the week award.

Delmas was good but the first goal he allowed was a total snoozer because he lost sight of the puck. Other than that he had to play a much better game than Lacerte. I think I am starting to fall for Delmas.


The other positive note was the penalty kill. The Moose managed to kill off 8 penalties including two long 5 on 3s. Hannay spent the entire time just sitting in the box looking pretty (pretty toothless), which really wasn't helping matters.

At some point Paul Dimitruk was pensive and he thought "why doesn't Q-girl ever pay attention to me". In order to get my attention he pretended he had a puck in his pants (for the purposes of looking like he had a bigger schlong? - someone knows how to get my attention!). It pretty much fooled everyone because for a good length of time a couple of guys stood around him staring while he fidgeted with his pants in front of the Bathurst net. Just behind him a couple of other guys were playing hockey - Yes, they had the puck.

I don't pay attention to Paul because I have been paying attention to Jessyko Bernard. He has been so awesome lately. *Le sigh.* I just had to say it.

With under a minute left in the game Bathurst was able to score. It destroyed my spirits. I hate Bathurst so much. This is another case of Mission NOT Accomplished. If the Mooseheads do not defeat Bathurst at least once this season there may be mass fan suicide.

Abeltshauser and Bety were awarded with stars of the game but cookies go to young Mr. Bradley MacDonald for his shot blocking. Kisses go to Sawyer Hannay's missing tooth. No, I don't want to put my tongue in the hole where his tooth was.  The smile that could light up a thousand rooms is gone.


Halifax Mooseheads vs PEI Rocket (Loss 2-1, shootout)
This game marked the appearance of a cup on the ice...or something that looked like a cup on the ice. How a cup falls out of a boy's jock strap mid game I will never know. I personally think it was just another ploy to get my attention and to remind me that boys have junk. My boyfriend is not amused. Nor is Jessyko, who had his goal, the only Mooseheads goal,  upstaged by a cup.

May I recommend that Jessyko give the rest of the group a lesson on one-timers during the next practice?

The game went into shootout and the shootout went to the 9th round before PEI got their second goal. Gerrad Grant had the only shootout goal for the Mooseheads. I was mildly pissed because I watched a parade of boys go to the net (squee - Jessyko was #2) but Charles Bety was not one of them. I think that maybe Bety has a little more finesse than some of the pluggers who got a chance.

Cookies go to Mathieu Corbeil for having an absolute stunner of a game. Back with a vengeance? I know Mathieu prabably wants to throw those cookies back at me and say "bitch these are stale", but I made them Wednesday while I was listening to the Maineiacs game...which went long and then I was stuck in the kitchen with nothing to do but wash the dishes. I am so angry about the dish washing.

So the point of this story is, yes, I do actually make too many real cookies. Now I need someone to help me eat them. They are chocolate chip and pecan...but I made the mistake of too much whole wheat flour and they have "textural issues". Oh, and I am also happy that the Mooseheads got a point but I would have been happier if they got three points last weekend. Have I told you lately how much I HATE Bathurst?

Halifax Mooseheads vs Lewiston MAINEiacs (Mooseheads win 6-5, in shootout)
Apparently Lewiston had started the scoring but the Moose kept managing to tie it up. It was 1-1 coming out of the first and 3-3 coming out of the second, which is when I tuned into the game.

The Moose finally pulled ahead in the third and were up 5-3 with under 10 minutes remaining in the game.
Moosehead goals were by Randell, Grant, Bernard, Clarke and Gelinas. After this they started to fuck with me by allowing a Lewiston goal with about 6 minutes reamining on the clock, and thus inviting me to mumble under my breath "don't you dare" while smuggling spoonfuls of butter and 2 kinds of sugar into my mouth (mmmm pre-cookie dough).

They dared!

Lewiston tied it up and brought it into OT with 1.7 seconds left on the clock. The Mooseheads had an empty net on the other end for over a minute. OVER A MINUTE! May I suggest the next drill that the boys do in practice is shoot at empty nets.

The Moose finally took it in the shootout when Knotek and Grant were both able to score, while Lewiston went 0/2. 

Props to the power play which went 3/5. Cookies go to Garrett Clarke for having a bazillion points (1G, 2A) and NO penalties.

A week's worth of News links:
Wuest:
Moose lose: 'We should have had that one' (vs Titan)
Clarke: 'He has it coming for him'  
Moose lose another heartbreaker (vs PEI)
Clarke sticks it to Maineiacs (vs, well, duh)
Road trip takes Herd to Quebec 

Chronical herald:
Mooseheads claim shootout victory  (vs Lewiston)
Moose struggling to score (vs PEI)
Titan edge Moose (vs Bathurst) 
Moose trying new line combos  

...and Travis Randell is interviewed in feces Faces Magazine for January.

Tit slapped

Arrrrrg the Titan. Don't they make you just want to give up boobs all together and become an ass man? Yeah, I thought as much.

Last night the Mooseheads took on the Acadie-Bathurst Titan at the K-C Irving regional centre in Bathurst and lost by a score of 4-2.

Julien Tremblay had the first goal for the Titan while captain Eric Faille had a hattie. Mooseheads goals were by Knotek (mmmmm comfortingly familiar PP goal) and Alex Lemiex (hoooray someone else got a goal). Stoddard (finally) and Desjardins assisted on the Lemieux goal while Gerrad Grant had an assist on the Knotek goal. This extends Grant's point steak and makes it the longest point-streak in the league with points in 11 games...and he only has one hand. What will he be able to do with TWO hands?

Ok this is crazy - we currently have a boy with the pointiest point-streak in the league and can't win a game. Grant needs some sort of reward for his suffering. Would kisses with lots of tongue suffice?

Spankings to Joel Grondin for getting pulled halfway through the game after allowing 3 goals on 14 shots. I still heart goalies though, which is why I must remind Grondin that not all spankings need be bad. Some are sexy. Between the two goaltenders the Titan had 4 goals on 26 shots, only 5 of which were dangerous. The Moose were only able to get 2 goals on 39 shots thanks to the painfully above-acceptable goaltending of Nic Champion (who was 2nd star of the game and the league's defensive player of the month for September)

The good:

• Keeping the Tits down to only 5 dangerous shots
• Boys other than Randell/Knotek/Grant getting points
• Randell's game high 6 shots on nets and 3rd star of the game honours
• Fights by Bahm and Metcalfe
• Being 1-1 after 1.

The bad:

• Faceoffs. No boy was able to dominate the faceoffs (Randell and Bernard don't count). Andrews' 8 losses in 10 was especially bad
• MacDonald sits out again
• Grondin lets in 3 goals on 2 dangerous shots. That must mean he let in a softie. The only soft thing I will allow my goalies to have is hair. Soft, fluffy, pre-game hair.
• No hits for Hannay. Maybe he is not my studmuffin!

The Cheremetiev factor:
So the Titan now have Yuri listed as being on their roster - but they spelled his name wrong: Cherementiev. Good start.

Yuri was not playing with the Titan last night because of some paperwork stuff. He will be driving up to Bathurst with his dad today (awwwww).

As you may already know he was recently traded - Yuri and a 5th in 2011 for the Titan's 3rd in 2011. According to Palov should Cheremetiev, A KHL draft pick, stay with the Titan past January 10th the Mooseheads will receive their 5th round pick back.

If Yuri leaves the Tits (as apparently everyone does because no one wants to live in Bathurst) this means that he had less value than Renaud, Stinziani, Leduc, Stich (like no duh)* etc. I kinda thought the addition of the 5th was strange because I would have thought that Yuri was worth more. I began to think that maybe his value went down as the market for 20's dried up. That, and his slow start to the season.

Bah, I have a whole Yuri related post inside of me just waiting to be written.

Also, Yuri, please don't fuck us over. xxxooo.


News links:
Wuest
Grant extends streak in Mooseheads' loss

Palov
Faille nets hat trick, sending Mooseheads to 8th straight loss
Moosehead finalize Cheremetiev trade

__________________________________________
*Stich is worth 1000 puppies, a fountain of youth, 1 of Patrick Roy's pubes, Chris Pronger's soul (rights currently held by Satan) and at least a 2nd round draft pick. He only got shafted because he is a Euro.

A song for the boy?

Edit:
Matthew Wuest confirms the Cheremetiev trade rumours. More later.

Home Sweet (?) Home

The Mooseheads took on the Acadie-Bathurst Titan at the Halifax Metro Centre last night for the home opener. The game began after a lengthy ceremony to honour long time broadcaster Pat Connolly. I was drunk and pumped up before I even hit the MC. Oh the faces, the smells, that energy in the air, the annoying voices of 'fatty' and 'peg legs' who sit behind me. It felt like home.

Before the game even began, boyfriend and I were trying to decide which defenceman 'Fatty' and 'Peg Legs' would hate this year. We were no longer going to be subjected to the phrase "God Damn Moooonast", or "Geeeeeze Boooona". We guessed the target of their vitriol would be now be Alex MacDonald.

At some point the puck went into MacDonald's skates and he fumbled to get it out and then safely made the pass out of our zone. Sure enough, as the puck was tied up in his skates we heard "way to goooooo MacDoooonald". I then had to tolerate repeated mumblings about my precious new defenceman boyfriend throughout the night. If the losing does not make this a long-ass year, then having to listen to the irrational bitching of the boys who sit behind me will.

Goalies:
Both Mathieu Corbeil and Joel Grondin had shiny new painted helmets. The team brass are finally being nice to goalies. It only took Mathieu 1 year to get his bucket painted. There are no cookies on it.

New goalies always seem to have to wait awhile to get a fancy helmet so I was very shocked that Grondin was already all dressed up in his head region.

All the boys now wear green pants but goalies just look like they are wearing green wind pants over their regular black goalie pants. The extra layer of wind pants did not stop Mathieu from having delightfully kicky legs. Those kicky legs will come in useful for things other than the pre-period warm-up goalie mating dance. Yes, they even stopped a couple of pucks.

helmet

I did not mean to be stalking my new goalie boyfriend, Joel Grondin, with my camera - he just magically appeared on it. I was just trying to read Corbeil's helmet with my Camera's super zoom function when suddenly a fight broke out while Clarke was playing ghosties under his jersey *boo*; so I snapped a few fight pictures...and there was Grondin getting all up in my lens. He was basically throwing himself at my camera. This is going to be a sweet, sweet affair.


Funness:
As per usual, Jessyko Bernard was the first intermission interviewee. Shannon Slaughter knows what the people like (FYI, The people like Jessyko). He informed us that his favorite colour is green (same as Yeti, apparently I have a type), that he prefers country music to rock and then he sang Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire. He did a damn good job.

I am just going to forget that he prefers country music though - because that shit is normally an atrocity to my ears.

The game:
I thought the beginning was going to be dull because of the pre-game ceremonies but in fact the boys came out like gangbusters, dominating the game in the first 15 minutes of play and not letting the Titan get a single shot on net. Everybody was hitting and nasty and full of Pirate tendencies. They be pilfering yer puck arrrg.

I decided in the first period that Alex Lemieux should get the cookies because he was a little wrecking ball to start the game. Then he got injured and was all a little absent after that...as were the Mooseheads.

Garrett Clarke had the first and only Mooseheads goal by using a nice little drag and lift move to get the puck up and over Champion. He also had a fight (see picture above) and was making fancy moves in the third which got him pretty damn close to getting a second goal. Alex Lemieux should share his cookies with Clarke.

The PP was pitiful. The Mooseheads had a tonne of shots (38 to be precise) on net but most were from weird places. When I was paying attention to the PP in the first period it seemed like the whole thing relied on passing the puck to back to Abeltshauser at the blue line for a slapshot, and not about trying to get it near the net. 1/7 pfffft! ...and even then it was a defenceman (Clarke) who got the goal with an assist from another defenceman (Abeltshauser).

Where were the forwards? Yuri Cheremetiev was held to one shot on net. ONE. Charles Bety was trying, Gabe Desjardins was trying, Tomas Knotek was trying (not fond of that one handed shot on net though - lazy). So the Moose had 38 shots but only 11 were dangerous. They have to make more of their shots.

As Wuest pointed out in his recent blog post - no more 'shoot birds'. Please. This is also one of my pet peeves. All this team does is shoot...and rather uselessly from funny angles. As a bonus there is rarely anybody in front of the net to get the rebound. If some player does manage to find his way to the front of the net it is usually a guy with dead hands.

The game got dull in the second period. Even my pre-game beer buzz was gone. We were all basically just going through the motions. Sure it picked up again in the third but by then it was too late. The Moose were down 3-1 with about 5 minutes left in the game and just never recovered.

So yeah. The Mooseheads lost. As you can tell from my new little 'Eastern Division Status' tracker on the right, the Mooseheads are pointless - the only team in the Eastern Division without a win, or even an OT loss. Sadness!

The whole thing could have been much better for the Moose had it not been for the excellent goaltending of Nicholas Champion. I sooo want to pull a Tonya Harding on his hands.


But gosh you gotta love 'em:
So by now you are probably asking yourself "if this team can't win why should I continue to follow them? Why should I give them my heart?"

You do this because they are good, sweet boys who give back to the community (and because some of them are cute).

Face of the franchise, Gabriel Desjardins, has started a charity whereby $21.00 (his number is 21) will be donated to the Salvation Army for every point he gets this year. Now all he has to do is start getting points. Defenceman Pascal Amyot is also being a sweetie by donating his season tickets to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters association, and has agreed to meet with his special guests after every game.

Yes, everyone is so sweet. Well, everyone but Chuckie Schembri - but Sydney will do that to a boy. It is like the 7th circle of hell. It has to be. At the edge of the 6th circle there is a disgusting stench which arises from the circle below - totally Sydney. Have you walked by the tar ponds in the summer?

This delightful kitten will make you forget last night's loss

News:
Schembri sent packing by Herd
Schembri acknowledges 'mistake,' accepts punishment
Click here for Jenn's take on the Shembri incident

Clarke, Grant injury updates
Lineup: Titan at Mooseheads
Mooseheads' show youth in home-opening loss

Corbeil soldifies No. 1 spot between the pipes
Mooseheads boast a stable of strong prospects
Ten things to know about this year's Mooseheads
Knotek gets his turn to wear the 'C'

Moose fall at home
Patience key as Moose finally start building for long-term success
Net gain - A Corbeil Story
Making themselves at home

Hazaa

Let it be known that in their last game of the season the Mooseheads defeated the Acadie-Bathurst Titan by a score of 6-3.

Everybody scored - including Gabriel O'Connor who finally got a goal from the point. The bench erupted in an orgy. For you see, Gabriel is a defensive defenceman and in his three years with the team he had yet to register a goal. Congrats are in order.

Stransky, Desjardins, Pender, O'Brien (who was long overdue as well), and Louis-XVI also scored for the Moose.

I will have more to say later. For now I'll just say congrats to the boys on the win and for keeping it entertaining - yes three fights, and 2 in the first eight seconds of the game IS entertaining. You were on it like Elisha Cuthbert on an NHLer. That means you were really really on it.

I am going to post one of Rikk's video's here just to make this more entertaining, and to show you how much hair Eric has. Damn!!! I am entering him into the fro-off that is currently taking place between my boyfriend and my friend Dave. Also, because I know that Hammer thinks that Eric is pretty so I thought that maybe she might also like to see him being studly.



To the old guys: Pender (who knew you were so sensitive?), Bona and Yetman. Bon voyage and good luck with all your future endeavors. May you remain studly as you age, because trust me... it is all downhill from 22. I get a funny feeling in my nether regions every game during the second period. If any of you can figure out why I'll buy you a beer. You are right - it's a trap! Sorry, but I had to try.


Team awards were also given out at this game. I have listed the winners below:
Rookie: Gabriel Desjardins
Most Improved: Alexis Piette
Unsung Hero: Linden Bahm and Charles Bety
Best defensive Forward: Travis Randell
Fan's Choice: Tomas Knotek
MVP: Tomas Knotek
Best Defenceman: Gabriel O'Connor
Director's Choice: Mark Yetman
Community involvement: Scott McDonald
Playa's Playa (Sportsmanship): Graham Bona
Academic: Ben MacAskill

I hope I have not forgotten anyone

News links:
Matthew Wuest - Mooseheads end sour Season on a sweet note

Woooooooooooo

OK. I have been out at a house party, which means that I did not watch the game - but as far as games in the Q this week, let's just say that what everyone else did has been bad for the Moose. Especially since the boys are in last place and are chasing (more-so) Lewiston and Val d'Or, or (less-so) Baie Comeau for a playoff spot. Yesterday, all of the Baie Comeau Drakkar, the Val d'Or Foreurs and the Lewiston MAINEiacs won their games and got their two point. Damn bastards, all of them.

Well today the Mooseheads defeated the Acadie Bathurst Titan 3-2. I covered my eyes and crossed my fingers while opening the QMJHL website. Yes, I am just that big of a loser. It totally changed the outcome of the game, after the fact, didn't it?

Mark Yetman was in nets for the Moose and stopped 44 of 46 shots thrown at him by the Titan. Nick Champion allowed 3 goals on 35 shots by the Moose. Imagine this- your team gets 35 shots on net but only 6 are considered dangerous. I have eaten bread that is more of a threat than the Moose offence...and yet still they win. Good for them.

Moose goals were by Stransky (from Pender and Piette), Cheremetiev (from Bona) and Grant (from Bahm). The Moose killed off 4 of 5 Penalties.

Game stars were:

1. HAL - Yetman, Mark
2. BAT - Jezegou, Spencer
3. BAT - Fréchette, Maxime

I think am goaliematized.

Thanks for (not) showing up

Ugh. The Mooseheads lost to the Acadie-Bathurst Titan 3-2 in overtime. It was one huge muthafuckin' dull game, until about the last minute...

Let me explain in point form:

• The first period ended with less than ten shots apiece, and a score of 0-0. The Moose were not even getting shots on net on their powerplay. In Total they had 5 power plays and 0 power play goals.
• OK, statement of fact. Ladies love Guillaume Pelletier. He spotted himself two new ladies tonight. Look out Steve Lund and Jean-Claude Sawyer (Former Eagles Defenceman) you have just lost your theoretical girlfriends. Yep you heard me right... an Eagles fan has been converted, with just one peep at our new Francophone delight. He had better play as good as he looks. I had to remind my girlfriends not to let the extensive facial hair growth fool them since Pelletier is only 17ish (don't make me check his birthday**). I was ignored.
• Yeti was on it like it was the Titan's mama. He was king of the nets, having stopped 33 of 35 shots. Once his glove was so hot that I wanted to have its small, red, fabric babies. The only problem here being that I don't think I can fit that glove in my lady bits. The impossibility of the situation makes for excellent birth control. Yeti gets 3rd star... his glove remains childless.
• What does a goalie have to do to get a drink around here? Does his water bottle contain special formula, barley water, essence of wood sprite? Why did it take a half a period to refill it?
  
• Pender opened the scoring in the second period, assisted by Knotek and Desjardins. I have no idea what happened there.
• So that is a shot block is it Benny boy? Try again.
  
• Oh Desjardins...you had a chance for a breakaway and you did THAT. Pass it backwards out of the Titan zone. This is me... head in hands.
• Sometimes Gerrad Grant was looking so shifty smooth that I forgot about hating him for his "models' body" and got onto peeping at him for his skills. It is just the way he maneuvers the puck and comes in driving at the net.
• Travis Randell was the new God of faceoffs
  
• Vincent Couture had the first Titan goal and Taylor Lambke the second on a Power play...to bring the Titan into the lead early in the third period. I saw the Lambke goal coming...I saw him parked there by the side of the net and was like nooooo, and then Bahm was like noooooo as he went to take on Lambke ....but it was too late. My mind meld with Bahm was too slow. We need a faster mental modem.
• The Moose actually pulled off that last minute goal to tie up the game, with the goalie out of the net. Oh miracle of miracles. Overtime was upon us. Who loves Linden Bahm? Well, for one, I loves me some Linden Bahm...but also the 20,000 people from Ontario who find this blog by searching Linden Bahm also apparently Loooove Linden Bahm. He also deserves your lovin' because you can substitute his name into the spiderman song, since it also has three syllables.

Linden Bahm
Linden Bahm
Hittin', Goal scorin', Linden Bahm
Is a puck, in your net
Take a look, to your left
Look out
Puck is above your glove, Nick
Wherever there's an upset
You'll find the Linden Bahm*

Overtime solved nothing and so then we went into the shootout and I was like bah...if there is ANYTHING I trust it is Yetman in a shootout. We got this DOWN!!! Oh stupid bitch PLEASE!!! I was so wrong. Just when ya think you have finally got a goalie in your pocket he turns around and is all like - "oh no, you don't know me". Yetman allowed two goals on two shots by Jezegou and Demkov. Champion allowed a goal by Stransky but stopped Knotek and Bahm... Bastard Titan win.

My heart is once again broken by a goalie...but not really, since I am actually mega pissed at useless forwards who couldn't get it done in regulation.


Edit - News Links
Wuest has a new Desjardins Story- read it.

He leads by example and sets the bar high.

“All the time, I say in my head, ‘Let’s go, Gabe … You can go, go get the puck,’” he explains.

“There (are) 20-year-olds, 19-year-olds (in this league) and I’m 16. It’s hard, but I don’t think that in my head. I go hard and never mind (my age).”

Willy Palov - Shoot out Loss
Matthew Wuest - Last minute goal salvages shootout point for Mooseheads

_______________________________________
* could I be ANY cheesier ? The Short answer is NO.
**Oh damn...happy 18th birthday, like, yesterdayish.
PS. Yes I was drinking again.

A love letter? For Valentines?

Oh Moose, there was something in the mail from you today. You are so sweet. I know I am not the kind of squishy girl who enjoys rom-coms or dreams of grand romantic gestures, but I do enjoy high heels; and a little romance (bottle of wine) every once in a while does get you some special favors... in those high heels.

Oh wait! It was just a letter asking for season ticket money... for next fall. Well that is presumptuous. Sometimes with the way you treat me, and the frequent 'dissatisfaction' I feel following our romps, I wonder if you will still be a part of my life come September. Just saying.

At least the CHL sent me a free XXXXXXL t-shirt. It looks great (note sarcasm) on my petite body. Then Hammer sent me Drew Owsley... or an owl key chain, same thing. I keep it stored in my bosom, as I would with the real Drew Owlsey. He is small enough to fit in there. Then there is you - you just ask me for sexual favours and all of my monies *sigh*.

Fine, I'll keep you around, but just because I like the way you look *pet*. Here, have 300 dollars, but don't spend it all in one place, be home by midnight and if you are going to be skanking around with other girls then at least make sure I would approve of them - no stupid chicks. Keeping you around is better than the alternative. If I leave you alone to wander the streets bad things could happen. I got this search on my site meter... which is like a semi-Nostradamus for me. You boys had better watch your backs.

Please, don't do it Mr Anonymous Newfoundlander!

I mean, there is no need for y'all to be put down. Things have been better lately, the weekend split was nice. Old Man Randell agrees:

“As of late, especially, we’ve been playing real good hockey against real good teams,” said Mooseheads forward Travis Randell. “We’re in a tough stretch right now, fighting for a playoff spot, and we’ve got to keep this up.”

Now admittedly, we could thin the herd and put Randell out of his misery for saying that things are "real good", but it is not his fault... grammar is simply not a Newfie's forte .


Other stuff:

• Please Titan, don't go. I love to hate you.
• Also read about Spencer Jezegou. He captains the enemy, so we must learn more about him.
• The Culligan Cares Campaign, which raises money for the development of a cancer centre at the Cape Breton Regional Hospital has raised over $18,000.
• I saw the funniest cartoon. I wish I could post it or share it... but I can't. It reveals too much.
• Ohhhh goalie - Quick hits with Raffaele D'Orso
  
• FYI. We ladies are crazy. Right now I am so fucked up that I am confusing myself. I am all cycling primal urges. Fuck, kill, fuck, kill. I may also be suffering from a bad case of the gimmie gimmies in regards to something I cannot have. This induces self loathing and irrational crying jags. PMS compounds it. My whole body hurts. Male suicide rates would go way up if they had to deal with such extreme hormone fluctuations. The cure to all of life's problems is sleep. Can I sleep away the pain? Like, all of it? Just asking! Wait...isn't this a Junior hockey blog? Yeah, but it is MY Junior hockey blog. I just needed to get that out of my system. I'll shut up now.
  

Two in a Row.

Yep. You read that right - two in a row. The Mooseheads had their first back-to-back wins this season with a 4-3 SO win against Chicoutimi followed by tonight's 6-2 slaughtering of the Bathurst Titan.

Despite reports to the contrary, Jessyko Bernard was still out of the lineup with a groin injury, and Pender still has wonky hips like an old arthritic dog. New defenceman George Dunn was a healthy scratch, and Pelletier is still...somewhere??... MIA.

Yetman got the start, chosen over a mildly injured Corbeil, who we would all like to be fully healed before he steps back between the pipes, because fucking around and letting injured goalies play is stupid. Prolonging an injury is not hot.

Either that or there is a grand conspiracy being plotted against Corbeil, which involves lies being fed to the media, but I highly doubt it. When Yetman gets a start tomorrow against the Moncton Wildcats it will add further fuel to the fire. Why don't we just burn a fucking effigy already people? God, you have no idea how to hate properly!!! If it helps - look - we can pretend Corbeil played.

Ummmmm, no. Yetman was playing. Goals allowed was 2, shots were 35. WTF?

I had so much to say but I lost it. I forget everything and I was not even drinking. I feel so lazy and it is so late. Which is why I am referring you to Matthew Wuest's write up in the Metro.

At some point I remember thinking oh dear God Graham you look so good you can eat your cookies off the small of my back. Bona had a bajillion hits, a sexy fight, and two assists. The boys killed 5 of 5 penalties. Bona was just calmly playing like "No, I don't think so! yoink!" and so for that he gets the cookies. Also, because I am biased towards defencemen.

Desjardins was delightful in his interview: the kicky strong French accent, the wholehearted head-back laugh, the singing (in French) and the tongue thing (it must be some neurotic twitch).

I must also say Louis -XVI is trying really hard to be an upper tier boyfriend, and it is working because he is looking hotter with each successive game. Bahm is also buttering me up more lately. I remember thinking at the game today that I was pregnant with a whole litter of his puppies.

...and of course the Euros - they were highly amusing. Even Yuri was amusing me and he never amuses me (sorry, it's true). Stransky (2 goals) , Knotek (2 assists) and Cheremetiev (2 goals, 1 assist) were dominating the Titan.

Yetman was solid when Piette was not stealing his stick (no cookies for Alexis). He stopped 33 of 35 shots (when he did have his stick), a whole whack of which were dangerous.

So to summarise:
Cheremetiev: 2G, 1A, 2nd star
Stransky: 2G, 1st star
Knotek: 2A, 3rd star
Bona: 2A and a fight
Amyot (listed as Matheson): 2A
Bahm: 1G
Grant: 1G
McDonald:1A
MacDonald: 1A
Randell: 1A
Bety: 1A
MacAskill: 1A

Nothing on the QMJHL site right now seems right. The faceoff stats look whack, so I am not going to believe anything else it says... but you can trust me when I say the Moose did indeed win 6-2.

Happy boys are productive boys.

Sweet Revenge

The Halifax Mooseheads defeated the Bathurst Titan 3-2 in the shootout. The game winning goal was scored by Gerrad Grant. Mark Yetman stopped 22 shots. Well they showed me, didn't they. I missed most of the game but I was saying before the shootout don't put GG in, he misses the net. He proved me wrong. He was all like "in your face stupid bitch". Stupid bitch indeed.

Moose had 41 shots on net, but most were from the outside. Halifax goals were by Piette and Knotek in regulation. Jessyko Bernard and Gerrad Grant got the goals in the 8 round shootout. Yetman made 7 saves in the shootout and received third star honours.

Mah Boo Tomy Joly had both goals for the Titan and was first star of the game. He must learn that the easiest way to my heart is by NOT making my team look like fools. Damn him. I am torn. Bathurst goaltender Nicholas Champion received 2nd star honours for his 39 save performance.

Dear boys,
When it goes onto shootout and you are going backhand - GO HIGH. Jessyko is such a good puppy. Do as Jessyko did - it will get you goals. That is, unless you are Pender, in which case you should just stick with the scarey-ass slapshot. Fancy moves ARE NOT your thing.
Thanks
kisses and cookies
Q

Gerrad Grant has "a body like a model"/ I feel shame.

This post has little to do with hockey and more to do with hockey players. As such I will get the nitty gritty out of the way and let the world know that the Mooseheads lost to the Acadie-Bathurst Titan by a score of 6-4. Mooseheads had the lead three times (2-1, 3-2, 4-3)...and just kept losing it.

For a guy who takes pride in his butterfly stylin' Mark Yetman has a very slutty 5 hole. As I was saying to a friend, Yetman only played well in Moncton because the Wildcats provided him with appropriate pre-game meal of kittey food. That is what cats eat. When he came home and got some of that homemade Mac and Cheese he so likes, it fucked him up, because kittey's should be eating kittey food.

Everything you need to know about the game you can learn by checking out the QMJHL game summary, or Matthew Wuest's lineups (Linden Bahm out HEALTHY, why I NEVER!!!) and game notes.


But this post is not about hockey. This post is about the arrogance of some boys who play hockey. I am going to use curse words. Children - go away NOW. This post is not for you.

Are you gone yet? Good!!!


Every home game we get a game program; the program includes an interview with a player. Today's player was Gerrad Grant (#22). I know I have gone here before but let me continue. One of the questions is "Finish this sentence: I'd be a billionaire if I had a dollar every time some one said..." Gerrad Grant answered "I have the body of a model".

Dude. Fuck Off.

You are an athlete. If you don't have a good body you are fucked. I automatically assume most boys who play hockey have a body that is better than the norm, but to brag about it is just arrogant. Have it ...be humble. What your mother tells you and the puck bunnies tell you DOES NOT COUNT.

Assholes are not hot. Much like how boys will fuck girls and think those girls are twits, there are girls who will fuck boys and then laugh with their friends about what an idiot that guy was. All the girls know. All the girls laugh. DUDES...GIRLS TALK A LOT. Also, girls USE guys. Then we call you stupid and laugh at you. Heterosexual females like male bodies, but to tell you the truth that is all there is to most of you. Bodies. Especially young selfish guys like junior hockey players.

Being an arrogant asshole is not hot

You think you are attractive when you are not. You think you are good in bed because lots of girls will let you fuck them. Just because puck bunnies are chasing after you or using you for your body it does not mean you are hot, nice, worth any girl's actual time and effort, intelligent, a good conversationalist, nor does it mean you are particularly good in bed. One problem is your choice of female companion. Seventeen year old hos from Cole Harbour don't know what "good in bed" means. Nor do you. Just because she made sounds it does not mean she is satisfied. It does not mean you are king of the bedroom. Fuck, most of the time you barely qualify to be court jester on the ice.


Ahhhhh

So because Mark Yetman and Gerrad Grant exhaused themselves before the game with their jerking off - Mark to his "good looking" face, Gerrad to his "model's body", they gave the Titan a chance to win. Brav-a-muther-fuckin-O.

May I just say, as a spokesperson for the vast majority of the female population: shut up. You are behaving like idiots. You may be cool now but junior hockey will end for you sooner than you think. Real life is not at all like "keys to the VIP".

PS. You know who actually is hot. Tomy Joly (to your right): Strong chin, good smile, pleasant eyes, delectable eyebrows. But just because I think he is good looking he shouldn't let it go to his head...especially since he is practically a midget. Hey, we all have faults.

Nuts to you Keven Veilleux

Disclaimer:
I love Keven Veilleux…except when he is playing against the Moose, at which point he becomes my Boyfrienemy or at least he would if he were my boyfriend…which he is not. He is more of a secret Lovenemy – but I think the secret is kinda blown because every time I say his name I mention that I secretly love him, and I probably love him because he drives me crazy. Girls are such suckas.

1^st
The game starts with a penalty to Keven Veilleux for cross-checking Cheremetiev. I sometimes forget that Keven plays for Riki now. It has been almost a year…you would think it would have sunk in by now. Anyway - Bad secret lover Keven…bad, bad, bad.

Rimouski get their 1^st goal on their 6^th shot. Yeti probably should have had that one. It was it low blocker side shot by Czech import Tomas Petracek – a defenceman playing the wing for this evening. This is his first goal of the season (and in the Q). Piche then scored for Riki on their 8^th shot with about 1 minute left in the period, on what was possibly a turnover in the Moose zone? That is what the announcer (John Moore?) says…I missed the goal. I am barely watching the game.

Moose are losing 2-0 after the first despite possibly outplaying Rimouski (more shots, more won faceoffs, more hustle, and more time spent in the oceanic zone).

2^nd
Bety gets the Moose's first goal (assisted by new guy Matt Boland)…hopefully cementing him a spot in Friday’s lineup. Luca Cunti (from Piche and Caron) then gets Riki their third goal on their 13^th shot. Eric Louis-XVI had a 2 on 1 chance for the Moose, but instead of shooting he passed back to Randell, who was covered and couldn’t control the puck so... Uh…no goal. Please remember…you shoot then the other guy is there to get the rebound. K?

Jessyko Bernard (from Knotek and Cheremetiev) then made me feel better by planting a puck top shelf. Throw kisses at Jessyko Bernard. You could actually kiss him if you choose (just run up to him with wild abandon and scare him with kisses)…but he still has a little moustache that kinda looks like a puberty moustache…so I think I’ll stay away until that is gone. I will, however, make him cookies and hot chocolate.

Every time I am not looking Riki get a goal (1:18), and there are no replays. That is now 4 goals on 18 shots. The post game recap indicated that the puck was passed from behind the net, to 'secret lovenemy' Keven who was in the slot and behind the Moose D…he then had 1000 years to think about his next move before he rifled it past Yetman.

Dear Keven,
Grrrrrr
Love,
Me

3^rd
Riki is out playing the Moose and hitting, hitting, hitting, and yet still no one is able to get a goal. The game ends with the Moose having a 6 on 4, but they were not able to capitalize despite a lot of pressure in the Oceanic end. I am just glad we did not give up an empty net goal this time.

Mooseheads lose 4-2

Elsewhere in the Q tonight:
The Acadie-Bathurst Titan defeated the Montreal Junior 4-0. You would think the Titan would have dominated the stars…but they did not. My Titan Boyfriend Tomy Joly had two goals. Much like Keven Veilleux, the only day Tomy and I can be together are those days when the Titan play in our barn, and yet those are the days when Tomy and I are fighting. Fighting results in one of those temporary break-ups. Sucks eh? I usually get over it in about 24 hours.

But that is not the crazy part, the crazy part is the fact that the Titan defeated Montreal 4-0 despite being outshot by Montreal 39-12. YES…that is correct 39-12. The Titan only threw 9 good hits all game…and still won. They won less face offs, 29 to 36…and yet still – SHUTOUT. Jake Allen allowed 3 goals on 8 shots in 15 minutes before he was replaced by Berube, who allowed 1 goal on 4 shots.

Oh yeah...and check it:
CHL Mosaik MasterCard Top 10 Rankings

1. Moncton Wildcats (17-0-2-0)
2. Windsor Spitfires (19-2-0-0)
3. Vancouver Giants (14-0-0-3)
4. Shawinigan Cataractes (19-4-0-0)
5. Calgary Hitmen (17-4-0-1)
6. London Knights (14-5-0-1)
7. Quebec Remparts (15-4-0-1)
8. Tri-City Americans (14-5-0-2)
9. Brampton Battalion (13-6-0-0)
10. Spokane Chiefs (12-4-0-3)

Sick kisses to my Titan boyfriend.

This morning I pointed out to real boyfriend that my Titan boyfriend Tomy Joly had gotten a two game suspension for elbowing some Oceanic player in the head. He must have elbowed another small guy. I might have had a problem with it had he elbowed Keven Veilleux (unlikely - too tall for Tomy to reach) or Patrice Cormier (in NJ), but he elbowed some other Oceanic player, so I could care less (because I also dislike the Oceanic).

Real boyfriend was disappointed with me, stating "ugh, you have a Titan boyfriend - have you no standards?" Clearly not!!! However this insult was coming from my boyfriend - a Chris Pronger fan, you know, Chris Pronger - "I didn't elbow him. He skated into my elbow... it is not my fault everyone else is so short and I am so tall (and pussywhipped)."


Unfortunately, Bathurst have been winning more games than they were predicted to, with 3 wins and one overtime loss in 4 games. No one was expecting this. Just ask Nathan.

The Mooseheads are currently playing the Titan at the K.C. Irving Regional Centre in Bathurst (Yes, the Irvings have their fingers in all of the New Brunswick pies). The penalties are overwhelming, 5 penalties for us and 4 against the Titan in the first period alone. They have one power play goal, and we now (early in the second) have three. Bathurst are currently fighting off three penalties in a row which gave the Mooseheads back-to-back five-on-threes. Damn these refs and their zombocratic power trips. Should I really be upset that the Titan are getting screwed by the refs - Nah!

Come here Titan boyfriend Tomy Joly. I hate you! Kiss Me! Why, you ask? Well first off you are cute and you have nice lips, but mostly I want to kiss you because I am sick and I need you to spread these cooties to your Titan brethren.

My number one QMJHL boyfriend Mathieu Corbeil is getting his first QMJHL start and he is looking quite good. I will not kiss him today. We might need him to be healthy later. As of right now he has allowed one PP goal on 10 shots with 6 dangerous shots. Mathieu is so big. When he is out at the top of the crease he takes up so much net, even in the butterfly.

End of the Second:
Somehow with 3:25 to go in the second the Titan have managed to tie it up 3-3 with two even strength goals. I need to pay attention to the game so I am going to stop typing and watch the third period. So far the Titan have out-shot us 21-17.

Third:
There were no goals in the third. I have noticed that Nicolas Champion (Titan) does scoot out of the crease and play the puck during the PP. I was unsure of whether or not he was a puck handler. Mathieu Corbeil is not doing this. I still insist that our coaching staff must be telling our goalies not to go out and play the puck frequently. They seem to be allowed to go behind the net and stop the puck or hand it off - that is all. It cannot be a coincidence that boys who guard our net rarely/never play the puck. I have become obsessed with our general lack of puck handling.

I want to watch a whole game from directly above the goalie. BEST VIEW EVER. Overall Corbeil has been pretty solid while facing lots of high pressure moments, including a point-blank shot in the third, and stopping 31 of 34 shots in regulation.


Overtime:
An unassisted goal by Chad Earle with about 1 minute left in OT gets the Moose the game. This was Chad's first QMJHL goal.


Overall:
Hooray for my #1 QMJHL boyfriend, MCT, for getting his first ever QMJHL win and for having a 0.92 save %. The Moose PK was good, killing off 8 of 9 penalties. Jessyko Bernard (Alex MacDonald, Scott McDonald), EL-XVI (Alex Piette, and Gabriel O'Connor), Ben MacAskill (Justin Pender) and Chad Earle had goals for Halifax. Wow. Points for everyone today.

Lambke, Jezegou and Jean-Bouliane had goals for the Titan, with assists by Renaud, Blanchard, Paris, Faille, and Lessard.

The three stars for the game were:

1. BAT - Faille, Éric
2. HAL - Corbeil-Thériault, Mathieu
3. BAT - Jean-Bouliane, Mathieu

Hooray again for Mathieu. (edit - our Mathieu)


Other news and links:
Former Moosehead Bryce Swan has been cut by Detroit. Matthew Wuest has suggested that he may still get an ECHL contract.

Despite recent reports that Guillaume Monast has earned a contract with the Dallas Stars, the Stars website says that Guillaume has been reassigned to his junior team (now the Quebec Remparts).

A Boston Bruins prospect report on the New England Hockey Journal covers former Mooseheads Brad Marchand and Andrew Bodnarchuk, as well as Val d'Or forward Maxime Sauve. There is also this article by Frank Campbell which covers the Boston Training camp here in Halifax.

Linden Bahm was listed the CHL hot player of the week for the QMJHL by Patrick King at Sportsnet.

Justin Goldman reviews Peter Delmas (Lewiston MAINEiacs) at the Colorado Avalanche camp.

The team I never want to see

The Moose start the regular season with two away games: the first on Sept 12 against the Eagles, the second on Sept 14th against the Titan. Then they come home and face Val d'Or. There is probably no team I despise more than the Titan with their collection of small speedy forwards. The new Titan roster is set, team photos have been taken and this year they have added a number of large guys to their lineup as well as 'ginger goalie'.

There does however exist a problem with my Titan hate - I have a Titan boyfriend. Last year it was Tardif, the goalie of course, which is not so unusual. The question arose: can my love for goalies outweigh my hatred for the Titan. The answer was yes. When Tardif got injured and was out of the lineup for almost half a season, there was nothing left to keep me from wanting to shank the Titan in their collective kidneys.

The problem this year, and it was a bit of a problem for a while now but I hated to acknowledge it let alone admit it, is that I have a tiny crush on one of the Titan's small, speedy, 'elite' forwards. Ugh-I know. Totally not my type!!!

But there we have it. The first step is admitting it. I have a crush on Tomy Joly. Are you happy? Are you happy now you jerk Titan fans (please note - the Titan have a number of asshatted fans who troll the boards...not all Titan fans are proven to be asshats but unfortunately for those nice fans - stink wafts).

I mean honestly - this is a team photo and it is not even fug. This defies natural law. May the hockey Gods strike him down for not actually having a hideous team photo. We like how he does his hair so that he can now measure all of 5'9" tall. Very clever. Maybe that was to be expected - he did win one of those scholastic player of the month awards once.

He even fights sometimes. This is noble for a little, speedy, scoring forward who doesn't even do the shut down stuff*. Oh dear god what is wrong with me? I am giving excuses for my Joly feelings. Unfortunately for me I cannot use such excuses today...it turns out that there is one reason and one reason alone why I get to feeing funny. I think he is attractive, and not in the 'his style of play made him attractive' kinda way; but only in the 'I like your smile and you make me giggle profusely' kinda way. It is a damn good thing that he did not break out that ear to ear smile for this year's team photo. Yeah, talk about deadly.

Oh the hints were there, and everywhere, but some of us were all just too blind with Titan directed rage to notice. I'm not crazy - he is attractive right (I also like his little goalie enemy in this picture)? I have a thing for nice eyebrows, chins and lips. If it makes a difference we can factor in the French accent. Everyone I know thinks that the guys I find attractive are not as attractive as I think they are.

Now let's never speak of the Titan again.



More hilarity ensues: check out the bajillion Mooseheads stories online
Youth Movement- Willy Palov, Chronicle Herald
Yetman ready to be number one guy- Matthew Wuest, Halifax Metro
Mooseheads hope to Surprise the Q- Matthew Wuest, Halifax Metro
Random musings on the Moose- Matthew Wuest, Halifax Metro

I while ago I added a ticker to Wuest's "the Q-flies" in the right hand side bar. This way new stories are visible when they first appear, but I think that the ticker links may be bad and just link you to the Metro home page and not the stories themselves, which kinda sucks. I should let them know that they need to get on fixing that. Anyway, Wuest agrees with me - he thinks we should have kept Andrew White. Basically everyone in the world thinks that we should have kept Andrew White - except the Moose brass.

Then check the QMJHL preview on Sportsnet. My baby Simon Despres is listed as a top draft prospect. They do not mention the Moose but they are soooo up in a tree with my secret lovers the Saint John Sea Dogs.

Oh, and there is a Bobby Nadeau story in Charlottetown's the Guardian newspaper. He needs some eyebrow grooming but I would still have at him, what with his goalieness, wonky smile, and glasses wearing.


* apparently Tomy does do the shut down stuff but he is so slick at it that I failed to notice.

Sea Dogs vs Titan Game 6 - Fuck yes

The Saint John Sea Dogs have just defeated the Acadie-Bathurst Titan in overtime with a goal scored by Payton Liske. The final score was 5-4. This is despite the Dogs winning way less face offs, giving less hits (you guys are huge - hit more), getting fewer shots on net (but still plenty o' shots - 38 vs the Titan's 44), a baaaaaaaad line change, and some terribly silly turnovers that had me screaming at my screen. Saint John will move on to face the regular season league leading Rouyn Noranda Huskies in the QMJHL semi- finals.

Why do Payton and Fully not have 20 wee sexy girls attached to them? Offense - give Liske your girlfriends, defense - Give Fully your girlfriends (did you see that diving save about 7-8 minutes into the third?) and give him your sisters too.

Goals for Saint John were scored by Sparling, Liske, Stich, Gauthier and DiDomenico while Paris, Svoboda and Joly (2) notched goals for the Titan.

The stars of the game were 1) Matthieu Perreault (Bat), 2) Travis Fullerton (SJ), 3) Tomy Joly (Bat). This means Fullerton has had game stars in 5 of six of the matchups between these two teams - crazy. Simon did not get stars, but the team did win this series and so as promised he will get cookies if he ever comes to Halifax to fulfill his part of the child custody agreement (the part where I get to pretend he is my kid despite my being way too young to have actually birthed him).

I am stealing a picture from David Connell because I am running out of good pictures of Travis Fullerton. This is how I feel and this is the boy who makes me feel it.


Congratulations Saint John Sea Dogs. You are now in the semi- finals.

Sea Dogs vs Titan Game 5 : Dear Sea Dogs – WTF

You had the series almost in the bag, up 3 games to 1...and then you go and lose 6-4 at home.

You are the team that throws their bodies carelessly in front of puck, you are the team, which when they get the puck on their stick, effortlessly clears it from your zone…so how the hell did you let the Titan get off 41 shots on net. Your commentator was complaining about your ability to clear the puck. I did not feel it was so bad but I am a Mooseheads fan, which means that I usually have to watch as we pass the puck around for about 5 minutes in our own zone before it gets nabbed and shot on net. Am I exaggerating, sure, but I do that if it effectively gets my point across.

They are dangerous when they gang up near the net….this is when they are getting their goals. Don’t let so many guys get so close to Fully. When they get near the net you have to try to regain possession of the puck because after 5 rebounds on Fully one of those pucks is inevitably going to end up in the net. You only had three penalties – this is good – keep it up. Keep it simple, like I know you can and just try to maintain possession of the puck. When you have it get your shots on net. If his recent record is any indication Champion gets worn out quickly, so tonight is the night to get your shots on net.

Last night The Titan dominated the third period because you allowed them that puck possession. Don’t do that. When they get the puck, like they did in the third, they get 17 shots on net. Now don’t get me wrong – Fully is a stretchy God and I love him to pieces (Literally pieces - I want to break him up like a chocolate Easter bunny and eat him one piece at a time starting with the ears) but the Titan got 4 goals (1 ENG) in that last period, and this is not good. Ds - it is your job to keep the puck away from the net and away from your tender. I know he is sexy and the Titan boys just want to get close to him and bask in his glory, but you should not let them do that. Let him save that glory for me to bask in (after the playoffs when I set out on goalie hunting and trapping season).

People say the Titan are soft, elite types with good hands who play a clean game. I say bullshit – they run the goalie and they are dramatic fakers. Some guys fake shit to draw penalties and no team is really without these guys, but come-on, look at the Titan’s shenanigans. I suck at spotting a faker, except when it comes to the Titan. It is as if they have taken acting lessons from Keanu Reeves they are that bad. Do not poke, do not hook, do not mug them, just put a lot of good clean hits on them. I mean - hit the hell out of them and just hope and pray that you have good refs. They only run two lines so you really have to wear them down tonight.

Simon, Keven, Kirkpatrick – be more adorable. Blind the Titan with your sweetness.

Keven – keep it up with the goal scoring….all lines need to be dangerous.

Kirkpatrick – you are an excellent shadow, but can you be a touch more shadowy. I know, I know - they get the last line change tonight. The Dogs need two of you. I have added you to my list of potential adoptees. You can be Simon’s new brother. Right now I have a lot of cookies with chocolate chips, white chocolate chips and pecans that need to get eaten just sitting around my house but no 16/17 year old boys to eat them with.

Stich – you are a goalie without extra padding who stands in front of your goalie. Please keep it up. No I do not care if you are one giant bruise all I care about is that you guys get this done. Shots on net were 41. If this is the case – what is the ‘shots on Stich’ count? Scary. No being a -3 tonight, OK.

Stephen Anthony – 16 upside down is 91. This is coming from a Mooseheads fan – think about that one for a while if you have to. Play like both a rightside up 16 and an upside down 16.

Yann – if you can keep it up with the big hits and the stopping breakaways with stick checks and without taking penalties then you should continue to do that. Play like you don’t care that you may ruin your dreamy visage. Then pretend I never said that because there was no way in hell that I just admitted that a 18 year old, 6'3, 220 lb boy is dreamy. Although admittedly you do skate like a dream.Tell your Cappy I said “arrrggg” and then tell him “What, -2? Play safer captain!!!”

Everyone else:

1) puck possession

2) shoot on net

3) hit, hit, hit, kill, kill, kill

PS. When looking through SeaDogs vs Moose pics I saw P-O playing in nets. He had on his mask and he was holding his stick. Memories flooded back - I fell in love all over again.

Moose vs Eagles: Game 4 - The Rise of Mechanopuppy

First off, let me paraphrase the game by saying the Mooseheads lost to the Screaming Eagles 4-3 in overtime after allowing the Eagles two consecutive powerplays. Unfortunately our boys in the box were D1 and D2. The Eagles scored as they always do - by sitting one of their fuglings by the side of the net to receive a quick pass and tap it in. The fugling in question however, was not really a fugling it was scrappy little Jordan Clendenning who looks so sweet but plays like the spawn of icy Satan himself. He was assisted by burly mountain-man Dean Ouellet and ‘A for effort’ Chris Culligan. You can read more at the Herald.

The three stars were awarded to Clendenning (who had 4 points: 2 G, 2A), Yetman and Roy.

Tomas Knotek remained out with the flu and Bryce Swan was out because of concussion like symptoms from an elbow to the jaw, and a hit to the top of the head with a stick followed by a knee to the noggin, all of which occurred during Tuesday’s game. This is what they will do to you in Cape Breton if you attempt to return after you have defected. This is why I can’t go home.

Once again shots were high – 41 for Halifax and 45 for Cape Breton, but neither team allowed the other an abundance of good scoring chances. The refs were also fairly well behaved and kept the calls to a minimum which is always nice to see, and both teams were capable of opportunizing on the few PP chances they did get. It is just unfortunate that we gave Cape Breton some PP chances when we did.

The Mooseheads had one full strength goal scored by – wait for it, wait for it – Andrew White unassisted. HOORAY….and how many puppy treats does he deserve for that awesome puppy trick. A whole frickin’ box. Playing with other boys is for chumps. So while I like the other boys – Superpowered eastern European types like Cheremetiev and Knotek; other Newfs like ol’ man Randell; French boys like ‘footy pajamas’ Bouchard or ‘big hits E.L.-XVI’, they have not helped my puppy achieve his goal getting potential. He is best left to his own devices. He rushed down the ice alone, got very close to the net, crossed in front of Roy, went forehand, backhand, and into the top of the net. It was one of the nicest goals I have seen all series. I am just wondering when he was transformed from regular puppy to mechanopuppy and will he still be as cuddly soft?

I have a tendency to jinx him every time we are tied or if the team falls behind because that is when I fully expect him to pull out a goal for me. I also think that I am jinxing MacMillan. I have mad jinxing skills - look what I did to the poor Oceanic – swept, and all because I predicted two wins at home. Au revoir Blanchard, au revoir Veilleux “Q-girl weeps”, au revoir Frolik. Last night I went into the game with no puppy related expectations and he gave me the best of goals. Then, because it was on TV, it allowed me to peep at his crazy shifty eyes that I like so much.

Which reminds me that on Tuesday they had the camera on P-O (his attempted beard is worse than I ever could have imagined) and they discussed how he is in good spirits, how he overflows with team pride, and how has been playing very well in practice despite being put on the goalie backburner. How sweet he is. Of course we know they were only going to say good things about Mr Pelletier, we are not going to hear a quote from Cam or Dallaire in which they say that his attitude stinks and his play in nets during practice can only be likened to licking newt taint. I am hoping that despite only getting one start in the past month, his game remains as fresh as the morning dew - the very same morning dew that he and his other pixie faced elvin friends are responsible for laying down every beautiful summer morning. Mmmm pixie face.

The camera shows so much: P-O supporting the guys as they leave the room and head to the ice, Guillaume with no jersey on, sweaty post period interviews, and the fuglitude of the Eagle’s playoff ‘dos. Eastlink – I think I love you, you are so much better than online Telus feeds.

________________________________________

I have been bad and failed to give Brad Marchand his props. He joins Swan as a CHL player of the week. This gives him the right to shovel snow into the faces of CB children, to steal and break their toys, as well as to make inappropriate throat-slashy gestures to Cape Breton players. The isle brings out the worst in people – but I am sure the children deserve what they had coming to them. I have done worse. The boys of Cape Breton will grow up to be selfish insensitive assholes, the girls will grow up to be skanks, and the world will continue to turn.

________________________________________

A desperate Quebec was finally able to take it to Gatineau, as they defeated the Olympiques 8-4 to bring the series to 3-1 before both teams head back west. Both teams faced 28 shots and Ryan Mior was pulled after 25 minutes and allowing 4 goals on 18 shots. Unfortunately or fortunately Clermont was also not able to hold the fort. If we have to face them next round the hope is that we will be appropriate levels of rested and they will be tired. However, I also want Quebec gone. If it is relevant, Jonathan Roy has returned to the bench. Did the Remparts win because he was gesturing intents of violence to Gatineau's netminders?

_________________________________________

David Connell has posted pictures from the Sea Dogs vs Titan(ics) game. We all know how that went down. Fully had his shutout, which people are claiming is his first career Q shutout, but the Q website actually says that when he played for Lewy he had a shutout against his now beloved Sea Dogs on Feb 18, 2006. How quickly the people of Saint John forgive and forget. Either that or the Q website is wrong. It would not be the first time.

Champion was pulled for Dyke after allowing 4 goals on 12 shots, only one of which was deemed to be dangerous. Some bitter man on the boards thinks the SeaDogs won 5-0 completely by fluke and played a shit game. 'But answer me this, you contrary bastard, how well did your team play? Exactly. '

Bask in the adorableness that is the Sea Dogs if you dare. Also allow yourself to bask in the glory of a happy post shutout Travis Fullerton in a suit. Simon looks adorable and much less like Andre the Giant from the front. My conclusion – no more photos of Simon in profile please.

There are two new news articles relating to this series:
Dogs grab commanding lead in quarter final
Titan fans give Dogs their due

the moistenator

Saint John Sea Dogs defeated the Acadie-Bathurst Titan 5-0. Fullerton had a shut-out despite facing 34 shots and having to kill off 7 penalties. What? He got a shut-out but was awarded no stars!!!

Despite the fact that he ONLY has 3 stars so far this series (yeah 3 whole stars in 4 games + a shutout and a 0.939 save % and 2.25 GAA) he still totally makes me want to be an entomologist-turned-bedroomologist. Such is the power of a very good goalie. My goalie loving femme-boner is so hard right now that it can only be eased by a trip to some place ripe with geriatrics.

Travis Fullerton plays like a moistenator

Scott Howes had a hat trick for Saint John. Other goal scorers included Keven Charland (squee) and David Stich (who also had three assists). I am sure, despite having not yet watched the game, that Stich also has about 100 bruises to go with that 1 goal, 3 assists.