Three things

Congrats to the babe Gabe:
Gabriel Desjardins has been chosen to be on the selection camp roster for Canada's under 18 team. Twenty-two players from this group will go on to represent Canada at the Tournament of Ivan Hlinka which takes place in the Czech Republic and Slovakia in August.

From the Hockey Canada Website:

Hockey Canada, in partnership with the Canadian Hockey League, announced on Thursday the roster of forty players that will be taking part in the Canada’s National Men’s Summer Under-18 Team selection camp in Calgary from August 1-4.

The players, born in 1992 or later, were selected by Hockey Canada head scout Al Murray, in consultation with head coach Dave Lowry (Calgary, WHL) and assistant coaches Chris DePiero (Oshawa, OHL) and Mark Holick (Kootenay, WHL). Murray evaluated these players over the course of the 2008-09 season, following them along with numerous other candidates for the program during league play, as well as at the 2009 World Under-17 Hockey Challenge in Port Alberni, B.C.

He is also competing against Brooks Macek of the Tri City Americans as the official representative of Canada's hotness. Yes. That is tongue!!! Brandon Hynes is also competing, but he may be considered more cute than hot.

Admittedly, I need a better camera... for stalking.

Baby LBD was also invited. Hooray for my future goalie boyfriend (yes dear Matty, I cheat with goalies from other teams). Other Q reps include Morgan* Ellis (Eagles), Brandon Gormley (Wildcats), Jerome Gauther-Leduc (Huskies), Guillaume Asselin (Juniour), Michael Bournival (Cataractes), Cedrick Henley (Foreurs), Brandon Hynes (Tigres) and Sean Couturier (Voltigeurs).

A new Jersey? WTF?
The Mooseheads have announced that in keeping with the new RBK edge style which has officially been adopted by the CHL, they will be issuing a new home and away jersey. The jersey will be keeping the red and white colour theme of the origional Mooseheads jersey. The NEW black and white Halifax Jerseys have been discontinued for the 2009-2010 season and are supposed to return in 2010-2011. Now the thousands of people who bought the new sytle jerseys over the past two years will feel like total chumps because they are dressing in a jersey and in colours which don't match the team. While we are at it, why don't I just wear that "Fear the Yeti" shirt I bought for the playoffs two years ago. It will feel as appropriate.

Hooray. Once again Mooseheads marketing look like idiots. I love the way we insist on living in the past. While we are at it can we not update the website and maybe next year we can once again focus on the fan's past favorites while makeing no effort to promote our current roster.

My sidebar picture is soooooo last season.


A new assistant GM:
Bob (Tipper) Leblanc has been promoted to the position of Mooseheads assistant general manager, and just in time for the QMJHL draft.

Dear Tipper,
I like them tall, tough and cute. Really, really cute.
Q-girl

EDIT.
... and a new head scout, Jean-Marc Blouin.

Holy fuck I suck at this!!! More news even:
Coach/GM Cam Russel has announced that defenceman, and possible future wedding singer, George Dunn has been released. Who will sing to me now? My ears have a bad case of the sads.

Russell also announced that defenceman George Dunn has been released. The Niagara Falls, Ont., native played 11 games for the Mooseheads after being signed as a free agent at mid-season last year but Russell said he doesn’t fit into the team’s plans anymore.

* D'oh. I origionally had Morgan Ellis listed as Spitfire player Ryan Ellis. Sorry kiddo.

Cam says

From an article in the Chronicle Herald today:

"Obviously we want kids that can play the game; kids with talent," Russell said. "But they all have to be good quality kids with a good work ethic. That’s the kind of player we want to build this team around."

As part of his hands-on venture into the scouting side of the team’s operations, Russell said he’s planning to shuffle his resources somewhat to target different geographical regions. He said he’s thinking about focusing less on the United States than the team has in the past, while beefing up the team’s presence in Newfoundland and Ontario.

....mmmmm Newfoundland

Russell said he’s also been busy working the phones with other GMs trying to make a few deals. He said nothing has been done yet but feels like he’s getting close on one trade that could see him acquire a good young player in exchange for some of his veteran talent.

"You never know if it’ll come together or not," Russell said. "Let’s just say we’re active. We’re looking to make improvements for the team and we’re open to any suggestions."

Do Call it a Comeback

Sorry my lovelies. I have been missing. I was sequestered some place very tropical, without internet and miles and miles from hockey. On the plus side I discovered tetra packs filled with rum. OH YES I DID.

Besides not making it into the QMJHL playoffs (yep they are still going on) a few exciting things have happened in Mooseland. I am not qualified to comment on them but you just know that I can't keep my mouth shut. If you ask me to keep it shut I would have to do that in various situations where you might not want me to. It can be a very useful thing.

1) Goaltending coach Patrick Dallaire's contract was not renewed. I have mentioned in the past how I feel about Dallaire so there is no need to rehash it except to say that apparently there really are hockey Gods. They were just testing me by keeping Dallaire on year after year despite some repeated gutwrenchingly bad performances by our netminders. Dallaire has been replaced by Brad MacCharles. MacCharles kind-a-look-a-like-a hottie. Just saying.

2) Former Mooseheads player Jason Troini has also joined the Mooseheads coaching staff.

3) Justin friggin Pender!!! Did you ever think you would see the day that someone would give Justin mutherfuckin Pender an amateur try-out for a professional hockey team? Did you ever think that he would be called up to play for the Lowell mutherfuckin Devils? MY DEVILS ORGANIZATION!!!

You know it's shocking because the Devils spend all their time hunting and pecking for the most defensively responsible players EVER. Pender makes some big boo boos.

One thing he does have going for him is a kickie newf accent, another is new-found luxurious hair and the third is a bullet of a shot from the point. It was that very shot (not the hair OR the accent) that got him his very first AHL point in his very first AHL game - when the Devils took on the Hartford Wolf Pack (aka baby Rangers) and won by a score of 3-2. Points = ladies. Pender is out with Matt Halischuk getting himself some Massachusetts pussay.

Are there any words to describe this fucked up situation? How about - GO PENDER!!!

I hate 3 in 3.

I get tired just thinking about how these poor boys have to suffer on the road, shuffling between hotels and playing hockey against some brutally successful teams in their own barns. The Moose are on the road in Quebec for a three in three: taking on Gatineau (tonight), Shawinigan (Saturday) and finally Victoriaville (Sunday) before heading home on the long bus trip.

Some quick news links:
Matthew Wuest - Mooseheads faced with challenging road trip.

Three games in three days. All on the road. All against powerful teams at least 30 points ahead of them. Yep, the Halifax Mooseheads are in a pickle heading to Quebec, teetering on the brink of missing the QMJHL playoffs.
“Six,” said Mooseheads head coach Cam Russell hopefully, when asked how many points he can reasonably expect.

Wow. Cam is funny. Why don't I have a crush on him? I like funny guys.

Honestly though, while I have a tonne of blind faith in my team I am not completely delusional. I do believe that they are the kind of team that can pull off an upset...I just don't think that they believe that they are the kind of team that can pull off an upset. This is despite the fact that they do seem to think they can defeat the other cellar dwellers without really trying. This mentality results in frequent incidents of epic fail.

Pascal Amyot is slightly more reasonable:

“They’re great teams and we have to make it hard on them and make sure that no matter what the score is, they’re gonna remember playing the Mooseheads,” said blue-liner Pascal Amyot. “That’s the message we want to leave.”

If you actually read this news story or the Q-files in the link to the right you will notice that Guillaume Pelletier is expected to be out for the full season while recuperating from his broken knee. That is no shock. He is invited to my house to watch all future road games with me and to give me french lessons so that I can converse better with french goaltenders.


Jersey Auction:
The Halifax Mooseheads will be paying tribute to the Nova Scotia Voyageurs on February 27^th by wearing Voyageurs replica jerseys in the home game against the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. They will then be auctioning off the game worn jerseys on the team website. All proceeds from the auction will go to the IWK Children’s Hospital for purchase of a SMART Syringe Pump for the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.

OK. I am too excited about a game worn jersey auction. Which do I bid on: Goalies, puppy, Bona, Bahm? Whomever's is going cheapest? Can I get a boy to go with that jersey?

Holy Hell: The beginning of a new Era

The Mooseheads have fired GM Marcel Patenaude.

According to Matthew Wuest:

The Halifax Mooseheads fired general manager Marcel Patenaude after nine seasons at the helm.

The organization sent out a press release on Wednesday afternoon, thanking Patenaude for his contributions and indicating that head coach Cam Russell will add general manager to his title.

WAIT... GM Cam Russell. uhhhhhh. I plead the fifth.

*edit* Has Patenaude handed back his half of the BFF charm necklace yet?

*edit 2* Owner Bobby Smith discusses the firing of Marcel Patenaude.

*edit 3* Patenaude speaks on being fired.

Quickies

Cam says the team played well in PEI. In fact he said it twice. Did I ever tell you that I hate being lied to. REALLY HATE IT.

Let's pick apart what was reported in the Metro and the Chronicle Herald:

Cam -“You know what? I think that was one of our better games of the season,”

me - Better than that game against Moncton?

Cam - “We played hard, killed a lot of penalties and didn’t allow a lot of scoring chances or a lot of shots.”

me - We killed 4 of 6...that is a 0.66%. STATISTICALLY THAT IS NOT GOOD. The Moose allowed 20 shots, but of those, 13 were considered dangerous.

Cam - "We controlled the puck well, we had good scoring chances and our power play looked good. But there were just a lot of chances we couldn’t finish on and we had some untimely turnovers that cost us."

me - dude, we only had 6 dangerous shots. Six. Six dollars can not buy me two lattes at Starbucks. Six is not a lot. I hope you do not help your kids with their math homework. Sure we had lots of shots from near the blueline or from funny angles but those are not considered good scoring chances.


Pffffff. I wish he would say something negative for a change. I want to be the only one throwing kisses all over my Moose...and even I am negative from time to time because I know a dud when I see it.

Ok I am done pissing on Russell. On to sweeter things.


Eric Louis-Seize and Yetman will be out for Saturday's game against the Moncton Wildcats. Louis-Seize has injured his shoulder in an attempt to imitate my abominable shortbread. Our abominable netminder is still feeling sore in his boy-bits region. Stupid adductor muscles.

Logan MacMillan may be moving back up to play wing on the first line.


From the Mooseheads website:

• Tomas Knotek is the Mooseheads Player Award Winner for the month of November.

  The 18-year-old native of Kladno, Czech Republic, Mooseheads’ first round pick in the 2007 CHL Import Draft, recorded points in nine of Halifax’s 13 games during the month, including five multiple-point games, registering eight goals and nine assists during the month to move into the top spot on the Mooseheads’ scoring list with 23 points, including a team leading 11 goals.

• Rookie Goalie Mathieu Corbeil was the Academic player of the month. This is really not Ben MacAskill's month. He had no points all month, ended up a -9 in those 12 games, and now someone stole his smarty-pants award.
  
• Some of the boys did volunteering at the IWK...now with pictures.
  

When the Fog rolls in...

I know I am slow. I was drinking last night so not only was I too drunkenly lazy to write a blog post, but I also did something stupidly regrettable. I had to recover from my shame before I could get around to posting.

So the Mooseheads faced off against the St John’s Fog Devils Montreal Junior last night and were defeated by a score of 4-1. Eric Louis-Seize (assisted by Gabriel O'Connor) had the lone goal for Halifax. Dion (2 goals), MacDougall, and Grenache found the back of the Mooseheads net for Montreal. Mark Yetman had the loss for Halifax stopping 23 of 27 shots and allowing one PP goal. The Mooseheads outshot the Junior 33 to 27.

Jake Allen was spectacular in nets for the Fog Devils turning aside 32 of 33 shots for the win. Let me just say that he was never that impressive last season when he was in town with the Fog Devils. He was, however, not doing a whole hell-of-a-lot of that famous Jake Allen puck handling. He did do one nice smooth pass to one of his teammates who was waiting on the Mooseheads side of the neutral zone. I also noticed that he only cuts the ice in front of the posts - how bizarre.

If Jake Allen would hug me like he hugs that post I would buy him some proper socks to match his gear.

How were the Moose? They were not defensively responsible. Rookie defenceman Ryan Matheson ended the night a -2, and he was left all alone in our zone trying to stop MacDougall on that second goal. Where the hell was everybody? I also have to wonder where everybody was on the fourth goal when Grenache was parked right in front of the net and waiting on a nice clean pass to get that goal.

Every time you fail to be defensively responsible in your own zone a Yeti dies. No wonder they are going extinct.

At least Logan MacMillan can win faceoffs. He was a machine, winning 17 of 27 faceoffs. I was very amused by his answer in the game day program: Q- What are his game day rituals? -Answer: I don't talk to Justin Pender. Yeah, I wouldn't want to catch a case of the IR Penders either. Also, MacMillan likes Polar bears. All together now - ahhhhhhhhh.

I just like this picture and needed an excuse to post it.

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News:
We added a new player to our protected list.
Matthew Wuest (metro): Game Notes: Junior 4, Mooseheads 2 (yeah that's a mistake)
Willy Palov (Chronicle Herald): Moose fall to Junior
Chris Cochrane (Chronicle Herald): Patenaude Answers the criticisms

This Cochrane article made me laugh milk out of my nose thusly :^::::::::::: (Thanks IPB)

While explaining his acquisition of European import Radek Vlasanek from Bathurst, for a sixth-round pick in 2010, Patenaude conceded he was baffled by negative public reaction to the deal.

Vlasanek, says Patenaude, is short-term help for a losing team that needs more veteran presence. He notes the Mooseheads can use such a player to help with the development of fellow import Tomas Knotek.

How can acquiring a big slow player with 22 points last season help a with the development of a fast skilled player who had 66 points in last year's regular season?

Patenaude also dismisses another criticism, a common one made here, that by adding another veteran on a rebuilding team it means more press box time for another prospect.

"If you go only young, it could be a mess and it’s not motivating for the coaches and not motivating for the players. And we have to respect the other players here. They want to have a good season too."

There is absolutely NO NEED to carry 25 players. We carry too many players and too many older players that are no better than our young rookies. YOU give ME a break. Dude, we are the oldest and suckiest team in the division. No really, here are the average ages of each team in the Atlantic:
Mooseheads = 18.269
Titan = 17.826
Sea Dogs = 18.0
Screaming Eagles = 18.217
Rocket = 18.167
Wildcats = 18.16

Dump the useless 19 year olds (sorry guys) and let the youngins learn from experience. OK now I officially sound like everyone else. Der.

Just to prove that I am not as stupid as the average fan I will point out some stupid things I saw last night. 1) One chick kept trying to take pictures with her camera right up against the glass and with her flash on. Every picture was white - she never caught on what was wrong. 2) During the t-shirt toss there was a person (adult) behind the net banging on the glass and wanting a t-shirt tossed in their direction. They were upset that they were not getting a shirt - look up stupid - yes, that's netting.

______________________________

Sea Dogs:

...are currently defeating the Montreal Junior by a score of 3-0. My Kirky has a goal. During their last game against PEI my Kirky had 2 goals. So far this season he has 6 goals and 3 assists in 11 games. I like my Kirky. I just want another excuse to link to this picture again - ohhh Diva.

Squirrels, Dogs, Sea Dogs and other such Cougarbaits

The NHL.com has two new full profile articles about Q players, one about former Moosehead (+Moncton, ++Val D'Or) and Boston Bruins prospect Brad Marchand, the other about Fog Devils defenceman TJ Brennan. They remembered to mention that Brad is too daft to listen to his coaches sometimes. For example:

"Ted Nolan coached him with Moncton of Quebec Major Junior Hockey League and reportedly used a few disciplinary benchings to get through to Marchand"

"Brent Sutter benched him a few times in the 2007 World Juniors"

"...coach Cam Russell benched him for the final playoff game, a loss"

...but they forgot to mention that he, like a dog, perspires via panting. That is the only explanation I can come up with for why his tongue is always hanging out of his mouth.

A profile on Rangers prospects does not mention former Moosehead winger Ryan Hillier but does feature former PEI netminder Antoine Lafleur and 2008 draft pick Chris Doyle. There is also a Flyers profile on everybody's favorite squirrel Claude Giroux (Gatineau), Lewy/Quebec defenceman Kevin Marshall, Marc-Andre Bourdon (Huskies) and former Mooseheads goaltender Jeremy Duchesne:

"The Flyers' fourth-round pick in 2005 (No. 119) started his professional career with the Dayton Bombers of the ECHL last season, where he went 13-13-5 with a 2.97 GAA, 10th among the league's rookies, in 31 games.

He made two late appearances for the Phantoms, winning his only start.

At 6-foot and 201 pounds, Duchesne has good size but needs to work on his positioning and efficiency of movement. As one of the few goaltending prospects in the club's pipeline, he'll likely get a shot at winning a full-time spot in the AHL next season."

In current Q-news:
The Sea Dogs have traded 20 year old enforcer Brett Gallant to Lewiston for a draft pick in the 2009 draft. This solidifies the Sea Dogs 20 year old roster spots as Liske, Sparling and Gauthier (hot, hot, short but still totally hot... hot is a default state for my secret lovers - the Sea Dogs). You can read more about Brett's trade at the Telegraph Journal (for a Sea Dogs perspective) or at the Asylum (Lewiston Perspective). Don't cry Sea Dogs fans. You need experienced goal scorers not sweet and pleasant enforcers.

Speaking of Enforcers - the Q has handed down its recommendations on dealing with violence in the league. Fights are not banned. Whew.

Groulx has left the Gatineau Olympiques for the AHL. If cuddly squirrel Claude Giroux was leaving me behind I would get outta dodge too. Former assistant coach Mario Richter will be taking over.

The Wildcats have signed a giant - 6'8". I think I am in love. They had better not forget about my unrequited love Tyler Noseworthy. I want to see Noseworthy in a cats uniform this season. They have also signed on some other free agents for tryouts.

Huskies goaltender Mathieu Leclair will not be reporting to training camp. 18 year old Leclair was pretty much assured to be the Huskies starter this season but decided to concentrate on his studies instead.

Elsewhere in the Cougarbait Hockey League:
Someone needs to tell Stefan Legein that if he gives up the hockey it means he is giving up the hos. My sweet little cheshire cat can do whatever he wishes and whatever will make him happy but I'm just saying "Won't somebody please think of the puckbunnies?"

Other Q News and Links

Antoine Tardif has been feeling fine. The former Bathurst goaltender, who was injured early in January and underwent ankle surgery during the offseason to correct a torn ligament, has gotten back on his skates. Tardif was officially traded to the Volts just prior to the QMJHL draft, and has recently been on ice practicing with Marco Marciano, goaltending coach of the Drummondville Voltigeurs.

Sadly, Marco's tenure with the QMHJL is almost at an end. Marco, former goaltending coach of the Screaming Eagles, and present coach with the Volts, will be joining hockey Canada before the start of next season.

The Tigres are turning me on. The La Nouvelle/ L'Union has posted some video from Victoriaville Tigres goaltending training sessions. There is more info on the Tigres goaltending situation here. I could watch goalies all day. I could honestly just sit there watching them deflecting puck after puck into the corner. Dear GOD it is so HAWT. The video even features a weird variation on the goalie mating dance - going into the butterfly and some lateral movement exercises.

I am all frisky now. Where is Travis Fullerton? I need satisfaction! I need him, his cross crease wiggle, and his naughty moustache right now! YOU *spank* ARE *spank* SUCH *spank* A *spank* NAUGHTY *spank* NAUGHTY *spank* NAUGHTY *spank* BOY *spank*. No, thinking about him totally did not help ease the frisk...it just made it worse.

Speaking of Sea Dogs, now that the Canadian IIHF under 20 training camp is complete it is time for the under 18 camp to begin. Sea Dogs Simon Despres and Steven Anthony are invited. According to an article published today in the Telegraph Journal, my favorite little-big defenceman Simon Despres (whom I want to kidnap in an attempt to re-wombinate him) now has 215 lbs on his 6'3" frame. This will make for exceptionally difficult re-wombinating considering that I am only 5'1 and 105 lbs. 17 year old Centreman Steven Anthony is currently weighing in at 208 lbs and is 6'2".

Did you notice that I have an extreme fascination with boys that are at least 1 foot taller than me? I just thought I would point that out. The taller the better!

Mom, Nathan stole my candy!

The Asylum is reporting (that the Journal de Montreal is reporting) that some Q team has made a 10 year contract offer to Ted Nolan. Just click the link already.

I am always super slow at reporting Titan news, but there was a little article about the team's new look in last week's The Northern Light.



The Hza is a recently single lady. Following the breakup, and in the subsequent dividing of assets that followed, her EX took their NHL team (and the Yann Sauve that comes with it). She needs a new NHL team to give her lovin' to. If you can construct a well reasoned argument as to why she should join you in supporting your favorite NHL team, then write her and tell her. That is unless you are a Pens fan. The pens need not apply.

Ted Nolan - Moncton's first kiss

Ted Nolan is like that guy you met at summer camp, the one that gave you your first kiss. He swept into the QMJHL, won a president's cup with the Moncton Wildcats, and then he was gone. Now that he has been dumped by the Islanders, Ted says that he will not rule out the possibility of coming back to junior hockey.

It is like we are meeting at camp again, but this time we are grown-up enough to be the camp councilors. Will he still want to get kissy with the Q? Maybe this time he can get all the way to home base*. We hear he had already gone very far with the OHL, but who hasn't - the OHL is a slut.

Nathan White of the telegraph journal weaves the story of one Mr. Ted Nolan.

"I'm just going to take some time to relax a little bit. Obviously, I want to coach again. Our jobs are few and far between and right now I just have to sit and be patient."

The Los Angeles Kings are the only other NHL team with a coaching vacancy. Nolan, who led the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds to a Memorial Cup title in 1993, said returning to junior could be a possibility.

"I love junior hockey, so I definitely would not rule that out," he said.

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*Memorial Cup