Hide your wives and daughters...

...people of St Catherines, because Mark Yetman is coming to town. It has been confirmed that he Mooseheads 'abominable netminder' will be huggin' posts and breaking hearts at Brock University next year.

I mean ladies, how can you resist 2006-2007 Yeti? Awwwwww he is too fucking cute. So smiley and so happy just to be a Moosehead. I swear when I look at this guy I realize that in 2006-2007 I never had a single Yetman induced corrupt thought pass through my otherwise sinisterly dirty mind. Give him a teddy bear and a lollipop! No, don't put him in your womb...he is too big.

This is the guy that took Lewiston down in the 2007 playoffs. The only one to do so in Lewiston's entire playoff run. He doesn't look that dangerous. Does he?


Then there is this guy - 2007-2008 Yeti:

I couldn't touch him with a 10ft pole. He was claimed by my girlfriend Claudia. You know how females are- we 'claim' hockey players and if our friends give our player a little of the sexy side-eye then we pull their hair and claw out their eyes. It turns out that older ladies really like Mark Yetman.

Ahhhh forbidden fruit. I should have known that sooner or later it would all go horribly horribly wrong. First there was that threesome with Pier-Olivier Pelletier. Then there was that threesome with Andrew White. Then there was that threesome...

Wow, Mark really likes swordfighting! But I digress...

2008-2009 Yeti:
This is the one that all the ladies want. Single and ready to mingle, our abominable netminder decided to grow a little facial foliage in an attempt to convince the ladies that he really was 20. It worked. I too was smit (it's like smitten, just roll with it).

I think it is all the sweat from the 55 games played as starting goaltender that makes him so appealing. After 3 years with the team he was finally able to get some high quality "starting goaltender tail" - or at least one would hope. All I know was that he wasn't hitting this. I will assume he was getting it on with more age-appropriate partners. Those girls don't care about wins and losses or even save %. When questioned they can blame the 35 losses on the rest of the team.


Lord only knows what 2009-2010 Yetman will look like. Will he get hotter as he ages or is it all downhill after 20? All we know is that he will be wearing this on his chest...


...and he will be legal in the States. Mothers watch your daughters! Daughters watch your mothers! Husbands, ummmmmm yeah you should keep an eye open really, really wide!

Fiiiiiiiine. I confess. I am coming out of the closet on this one: I like Mark Yetman*. There, are you happy? I like him like I like nachos and beer. I know he is bad for me - the stats tell me so, but sometimes it gets very tempting. You've seen the glove hand on one of his hot nights haven't you? What about his sudden ability to play the puck? *Le sigh* for puckhandling! And then there is the goalie gear - it's like my catnip. The worst part is that I am torn between protective 'big sister' feelings and 'molesty' feelings. I creep myself the fuck out. It is because of this that he is better off in Ontario.

*you know, when I am not hating Mark Yetman

Hazaa

Let it be known that in their last game of the season the Mooseheads defeated the Acadie-Bathurst Titan by a score of 6-3.

Everybody scored - including Gabriel O'Connor who finally got a goal from the point. The bench erupted in an orgy. For you see, Gabriel is a defensive defenceman and in his three years with the team he had yet to register a goal. Congrats are in order.

Stransky, Desjardins, Pender, O'Brien (who was long overdue as well), and Louis-XVI also scored for the Moose.

I will have more to say later. For now I'll just say congrats to the boys on the win and for keeping it entertaining - yes three fights, and 2 in the first eight seconds of the game IS entertaining. You were on it like Elisha Cuthbert on an NHLer. That means you were really really on it.

I am going to post one of Rikk's video's here just to make this more entertaining, and to show you how much hair Eric has. Damn!!! I am entering him into the fro-off that is currently taking place between my boyfriend and my friend Dave. Also, because I know that Hammer thinks that Eric is pretty so I thought that maybe she might also like to see him being studly.



To the old guys: Pender (who knew you were so sensitive?), Bona and Yetman. Bon voyage and good luck with all your future endeavors. May you remain studly as you age, because trust me... it is all downhill from 22. I get a funny feeling in my nether regions every game during the second period. If any of you can figure out why I'll buy you a beer. You are right - it's a trap! Sorry, but I had to try.


Team awards were also given out at this game. I have listed the winners below:
Rookie: Gabriel Desjardins
Most Improved: Alexis Piette
Unsung Hero: Linden Bahm and Charles Bety
Best defensive Forward: Travis Randell
Fan's Choice: Tomas Knotek
MVP: Tomas Knotek
Best Defenceman: Gabriel O'Connor
Director's Choice: Mark Yetman
Community involvement: Scott McDonald
Playa's Playa (Sportsmanship): Graham Bona
Academic: Ben MacAskill

I hope I have not forgotten anyone

News links:
Matthew Wuest - Mooseheads end sour Season on a sweet note

When looking good gets you somewhere

The Moose faced the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles at the Metro Centre and lost in the shootout by a score of 4-3...but even though they lost it was hard hitting, energetic, edge of your seat hockey for the full 60 + + + minutes.

The team were wearing retro red Nova Scotia Voyageurs (Montreal's old AHL farm team) jerseys from the 70s, which you can see in the game photos here. The jerseys will be auctioned off and the proceeds will go to benefit the purchase of new equipment for the IWK children's hospital. In keeping with the 1970's theme they brought back the organist and the old mascot. The atmosphere was electric.


Goals:

1. The Eagles opened up scoring only 5 minutes into the game with an unassisted marker by Joey Haddad. I felt angry because Joey Haddad has that effect on me.
2. Alexis Piette got the first goal for the Moose later in the first period on a pass from MacAskill who came out from behind the CB net.
   
3. I had moved down from the upper bowl to some lovely center ice seats in the "sold out" lower bowl for the second period. This was ideal because I needed that view of the next goal.
4. Early in the second Piette was on a rush into the Eagles zone. He had already had a number of shots on net... many low along the ice and lead-handed, and I thought "oh no he will never score". As he was driving in from the side he did a spin-o-rama and backhanded to Cheremetiev who then went top shelf on the short side for the power play goal. It was at that moment I decided that a little fling with fancy plays may be to my benefit. It was an enjoyable, albeit shallow affair.
5. The Eagles tied the game less than 2 minutes into the third. It sucked. The Moose had been working soooo hard and the Eagles get a fluke goal when the puck bounced off of an Eagle Player and into the net. Credit goes to Piskacek with an assist by MacDougall.
6. The Eagles then pulled into the lead on a slutty 5-hole goal. MacNeil was in front of the net but in video review he appears to have been out of the way by the time Piskacek's shot got to the net.
7. Travis Randell tied it up for the Moose by being appropriately parked in front of the net to receive the rebound on MacAskill's shot.
8. The game went into OT...then shootout. Mark Yetman allowed the 4th shot by Horyl to get past him. Olivier Roy stopped all four shooters and is currently 14 for 14 in the shootout...the best in the league.
   

Other notes:

• Gabriel Desjardins cannot keep his tongue in his mouth. I wonder if he realizes the effect this has on the opposite sex? He should put his tongue away before he is gang raped by a roving troop of 14 year old girls.
• Bernard landed a huge hit on an Eagle player in the offensive corner. It was nice to see him getting his shoulders some much needed violent physiotherapy. I also think he may have gotten a haircut.
• Louis-XVI took a shot to the leg and waddled off in pain.He did return.
  
• MacAskill got in a fight with MacDougall. He lost. I presume this is because MacAskill is a lover not a fighter... and he is ever so gentle with small animals.
• Why did Bona and Slaney each get 5 for fighting when no fight actually took place? Hugging - yes, verbal exchange of sweet nothings - possibly, copping a feel - I hope so, but fighting - NO.
• As a result of shenanigans, at one point, 3 defencemen were in the box: MacAskill, Amyot and Bona. I was terrified and waiting for a meltdown that never happened.
• Our PK is just getting better and better...holding CB to 0/3.
• O'Connor had three shots on net. Like actually at the net...not at the signs to the side of the net. A goalie had to stand between him and the twine. O'Connor is due. I am totally rooting for him.
• Yetman made some killer saves. I like 'springtime' Yeti a lot. I don't know what gets into him when spring hits...but whatever it is, it does crazy things to a goalie fetishist. We get ourselves into awkward situations this time of year. You smell it too right? 37 saves on 40 shots.
• I never would have put Piette in on the shootout. My impression of him is that he is a better garbage goal kinda guy than fancy goal kinda guy, despite tonight and his best impression of Brian 'Soupy' Campbell. Baby Gabe would be my shootout man.
• Randell was sporting some elaborate new facial hair. I presume he grew that overnight and sculpted it 5 minutes before the game. By now he probably has a full beard...unlike Piette's moustache which is going nowhere slow. I think he must have given up on that dream.
  

Three games 3 stars were:

1. HAL - Piette, Alexis
2. HAL - Yetman, Mark
3. CAP - Haddad, Joey

News links:
Matthew Wuest - Mooseheads Earn hard fought point
Game notes: Eagles 4, Mooseheads 3 (SO)

Moose get a point...unfortunately Lewiston went into shootout vs Gatineau and WON.
Now the playoff race looks like this:
Val'd'Or - 43 pts in 61 games
Baie Comeau 43 pts in 60 games
Lewiston 44 pts in 62 games
Halifax 41 pts in 61 games

The Poll is always right

First off - Let's just salute tonight with a song


The Halifax Mooseheads defeated the PEI Rocket by a score of 4-2. Sitting out for the Moose were Guillaume Pelletier (of course), Matt Boland ( a bird landed on his shoulder thus injuring it?), McDonald and MacDonald (way to feature him in a story and then let him sit).

I don't know if I didn't notice the PEI Rocket because they actually failed to show up and play or if I just didn't notice them because I was blind in one eye.

PEI goaltender Bobby Nadeau allowed 2 goals in his first 4 shots. Dearest Bobby, tell me where it hurts and I'll kiss it better. Nadeau ended the night with 34 saves on 37 shots (or 36 on 39 depending on where you look for stats on the Q-site)

Mooseheads goaltender Mark Yetman made some of the most fantastic saves when the Moose were trying to hold it down in the third period. A glove save while diving forward? uggg. Dearest Yetman, tell me where it doesn't hurt and I'll kiss it better anyway. Yetman stopped 29 of 31.


I will try to do this in order of appearance (warning, bad curse words within):

Cheremetiev's goal was divine. The first of the game, and if I do say so myself, the absolute best way to start a game. Yuri picked up a rebound off Pender's shot which he then put high on Nadeau. The Moose only had one Power play but they made it totally worth their while.

Lord only knows what happened on the Moose's second goal (by Piette from Desjardins and Cheremetiev). PEI's coach was livid. He bitched and bitched even after the video review but to no avail.

PEI's first goal by Casavant appeared to be some sort of deflection.

Stransky was making a wonderfully shifty play until Guay decided to make love to the ice and block it.

I can't remember what lead to Casavant getting PEI's second goal.

Gabriel Desjardins had an unassisted short handed goal off a shot from the slot, just a couple of feet out from Nadeau. It is nice to actually see guys getting in front of the net for a change. This was the game winner FYI.

Can you spell ZOMBOCRACY. Yeah the reffing was brutal. The Moose had an accumulated 25 minutes of penalty time, while PEI had 11. They took 8 penalties to PEI's 1. At some point we had a penalty, a PEI player was escorted to the box one minute later... then they got a goal...but when I looked at the board we were back to 5 on 5 play. What happened to our PP? Did we have one? Did I miss something? There is no PEI penalty listed for the second period. Maybe the lesson is don't drink and watch hockey. I always thought the two went hand in hand...but then I began to hallucinate imaginary penalties.

So anyway PEI were 1/8 on the power play. Our PK was awesome - or PEI are a bunch of lazy ass hobos.

Tomas Knotek had a penalty shot but couldn't put it past Nadeau.

Simon Olsson is a little cunt*. OK maybe not, because calling him a cunt would be an insult to hard working vaginas everywhere...like his mama's. Olsson tried to start a fight and got Jan Stransky in trouble. Then he did start a fight with Gerrad Grant. What girly fun!!! It is hilarious to see Olsson play tough like a chihuahua. He lost. It was totally a 'watch the weave' fight - ow, the hair. It left Grant with bloodied fingers. I guess he will never be a hand model now.

Unlike some boys on the team *ahem*, Linden Bahm knows how to seal the deal. An empty net goal with 14 seconds remaining in the game left me longing for a smoke... and I don't smoke.


Epic fail QMJHL website! The Q website is listing the match stars as:

1. PEI - Nadeau, Bobby
2. PEI - Casavant, Benjamin
3. PEI - Escott, Jordan

...when they were actually:
1. Hal - Alexis Piette
2. PEI - Benjamin Casavant
3. Hal - Gabriel Desjardins

Rikk has his game photos posted already. Wooo game photos.

______________________________________
Oh BABY WELCOME HOME!!!
Martin Brodeur. First game back. SHUTOUT the Avs 4-0.
Who wants to lick a goalie? If you are pointing at me, you are most definitely correct.

* no real insult intended, I just love the C-word and don't have enough opportunities to use it.

**EDIT- OK so peeps are voting YES in the poll after the game is done and we have defeated PEI. Brilliant. Get brave and vote now!!!

Cue Rocky theme song... with disco beats

OMG. You are such a big studly winner. KO in the final round. Did I call you big? Have I given you your championship belt yet? Did I remind you that you were Studly? Were you planning on studding with anyone? No really, I totally meant it when I said that you were studly; even with Bernard, Boland, Pelletier and MacDonald out of the lineup and Corbeil riding the pine like a pine riding cowboy...still, totally studly!!!


The Halifax Mooseheads have defeated the Victoriaville Tigre 5-4 in the shootout. The Moose had a dull first period which finished off with them down by two. They rallied back in the second to get three unanswered goals and chase Mastropietro from nets. Victoriaville tied it up within the first minute of the third on a power play goal. Tomas Knotek had some lovely chances and when he finally did make a shot at the net, instead of passing, he brought the Moose back into the lead with five minutes remaining. Unfortunately Victoriaville, with their goalie on the bench, forced overtime when they slipped one past Yetman with only 45 seconds remaining on the clock.


Goal summary (I think...I may have messed up the details):

1st
1) Victoriaville - Tulupov (from Nestrasil and Hinse). This goal should be credited to our own Scott McDonald. It was going wide until he deflected it into the Moose net with his own stick.
2) Victoriaville - Bonneau (from Hynes and MacIssac) a two on one rush???

2nd
3) Halifax - Gerrad Grant. A low shot from the slot that went between the legs of Mastropietro.
4) Halifax PP - Knotek (from Stransky and Amyot)
5) Halifax PP - Cheremetiev (from Randell and MacAskill). A one timer from the low circle.

3rd
6) Victoriaville PP - Tanguay (from Earle and Chouinard). A power play rebound goal from close to the net which went just over the pad???
7) Halifax - Knotek (from Stransky and Bona). I was in the kitchen...had given up on life, began scavenging for comfort food.
8) Victoriaville - Labonte ( from Tanguay and Robichaud). 6 on 5.

The Moose ended regulation in a tie despite winning less faceoffs, laying less hits, having fewer power plays, and less shots overall - only 22 shots (~8 dangerous) compared to the Tigres 38 (~20 dangerous).


Items of note:

• Bona's shot blocking was beautiful again. He even took a shot to the leg, hobbled around a bit and was back on the ice shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, to offset his defensive play, Bona sometimes has a tendency to try to carry the puck too deep into the offensive zone from time to time, and if it gets nabbed, the Moose end up weak on the back end. I only mention it because it happened again today.
  
• O'Connor was the strong silent type. Totally studly!!!
  
• Penalties went to Bety, Bahm, Pender and Piette. Once again it was Piette's penalty on the forecheck that led to a power play goal for the opposition. Was he benched for the early part of the third... because I did not see him again until the end of the game. I am also not so fond of his backwards passing. It looks nice but this team is not a fancy team... when they try fancy things it rarely works.
• Grant can bop and weave around the opposition like this is a dance party, which it is...

Just Dance

• Knotek had two goals, and five shots on net, but he could possibly have had more. He is too fond of passing when on the break-away or an odd man rush. Did you hear that every other goalie in the league - I SAID TOMAS PASSES ON THE TWO ON ONE RUSH. There...*whispers* now it is safe to shoot.
• Just in case you did not notice, 7 D were dressed tonight. Pender was playing forward.
• Dunn was playing. I heard John Moore say his name...once.

Shoot out:
Yetman stopped both Nestrasil and Tanguay. Boivin was able to stop Tomas Knotek but both Stransky and Cheremetiev were able to slip one past him.

Game Stars:

1. VIC - Labonté, Alexandre
2. HAL - Knotek, Tomas
3. VIC - Bonneau, Jonathan

News links:
Matthew Wuest - Lineups Mooseheads at Tigres
Matthew Wuest - Yetman shines as Mooseheads close out rough road trip with a win
Willy Palov - Moose win shootout; secure two key points
___________________________________

*All these guys want in a band...except maybe Yeti, but he is there because the picture dictates it. Gerrad Grant gets to wear the cape because he is has the body of a model and capes are the hot new accessory for spring 2009. That does not explain why he looks like a girl, however. Gerrad also gets to wear the cape because I totally called dibs on the orange dress.

**party image modified from the origional artwork by Megan Whitmarsh. You can learn more about Whitmarsh at her website http://www.meganwhitmarsh.com/.

Thanks for (not) showing up

Ugh. The Mooseheads lost to the Acadie-Bathurst Titan 3-2 in overtime. It was one huge muthafuckin' dull game, until about the last minute...

Let me explain in point form:

• The first period ended with less than ten shots apiece, and a score of 0-0. The Moose were not even getting shots on net on their powerplay. In Total they had 5 power plays and 0 power play goals.
• OK, statement of fact. Ladies love Guillaume Pelletier. He spotted himself two new ladies tonight. Look out Steve Lund and Jean-Claude Sawyer (Former Eagles Defenceman) you have just lost your theoretical girlfriends. Yep you heard me right... an Eagles fan has been converted, with just one peep at our new Francophone delight. He had better play as good as he looks. I had to remind my girlfriends not to let the extensive facial hair growth fool them since Pelletier is only 17ish (don't make me check his birthday**). I was ignored.
• Yeti was on it like it was the Titan's mama. He was king of the nets, having stopped 33 of 35 shots. Once his glove was so hot that I wanted to have its small, red, fabric babies. The only problem here being that I don't think I can fit that glove in my lady bits. The impossibility of the situation makes for excellent birth control. Yeti gets 3rd star... his glove remains childless.
• What does a goalie have to do to get a drink around here? Does his water bottle contain special formula, barley water, essence of wood sprite? Why did it take a half a period to refill it?
  
• Pender opened the scoring in the second period, assisted by Knotek and Desjardins. I have no idea what happened there.
• So that is a shot block is it Benny boy? Try again.
  
• Oh Desjardins...you had a chance for a breakaway and you did THAT. Pass it backwards out of the Titan zone. This is me... head in hands.
• Sometimes Gerrad Grant was looking so shifty smooth that I forgot about hating him for his "models' body" and got onto peeping at him for his skills. It is just the way he maneuvers the puck and comes in driving at the net.
• Travis Randell was the new God of faceoffs
  
• Vincent Couture had the first Titan goal and Taylor Lambke the second on a Power play...to bring the Titan into the lead early in the third period. I saw the Lambke goal coming...I saw him parked there by the side of the net and was like nooooo, and then Bahm was like noooooo as he went to take on Lambke ....but it was too late. My mind meld with Bahm was too slow. We need a faster mental modem.
• The Moose actually pulled off that last minute goal to tie up the game, with the goalie out of the net. Oh miracle of miracles. Overtime was upon us. Who loves Linden Bahm? Well, for one, I loves me some Linden Bahm...but also the 20,000 people from Ontario who find this blog by searching Linden Bahm also apparently Loooove Linden Bahm. He also deserves your lovin' because you can substitute his name into the spiderman song, since it also has three syllables.

Linden Bahm
Linden Bahm
Hittin', Goal scorin', Linden Bahm
Is a puck, in your net
Take a look, to your left
Look out
Puck is above your glove, Nick
Wherever there's an upset
You'll find the Linden Bahm*

Overtime solved nothing and so then we went into the shootout and I was like bah...if there is ANYTHING I trust it is Yetman in a shootout. We got this DOWN!!! Oh stupid bitch PLEASE!!! I was so wrong. Just when ya think you have finally got a goalie in your pocket he turns around and is all like - "oh no, you don't know me". Yetman allowed two goals on two shots by Jezegou and Demkov. Champion allowed a goal by Stransky but stopped Knotek and Bahm... Bastard Titan win.

My heart is once again broken by a goalie...but not really, since I am actually mega pissed at useless forwards who couldn't get it done in regulation.


Edit - News Links
Wuest has a new Desjardins Story- read it.

He leads by example and sets the bar high.

“All the time, I say in my head, ‘Let’s go, Gabe … You can go, go get the puck,’” he explains.

“There (are) 20-year-olds, 19-year-olds (in this league) and I’m 16. It’s hard, but I don’t think that in my head. I go hard and never mind (my age).”

Willy Palov - Shoot out Loss
Matthew Wuest - Last minute goal salvages shootout point for Mooseheads

_______________________________________
* could I be ANY cheesier ? The Short answer is NO.
**Oh damn...happy 18th birthday, like, yesterdayish.
PS. Yes I was drinking again.

OMG!!! It has antlers!

I have been thinking on the issue of Merch, and am considering creating a zazzle gallery with custom player t-shirts*. So, there I was wandering around the interwebs and what did I find? A t-shirt with a stylized Yeti on it...and that Yeti has tiny antlers (like a Moose; I was hoping I would not have to point that out). The rainbow could be his net.


I wants one. Bah, sold out! Also, it would cost, like, $40 CAD + shipping. If you love the Yeti then you can find more Yeti related bizznazz at www.ilovetheyeti.blogspot.com

*More info later
Also, next time you bitch consider the following.

I need to be bled dry to quit.

Fourteen wins. The Moose have overcome that nasty "stuck on unlucky # 13" win slump. I was beginning to think they would be stuck on 13 forever. The Halifax Mooseheads have defeated the Montreal Junior 4-3 in regulation. It must have been the hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows.

Here Puppy Puppy? Uh where is Jessyko Bernard? Wuest has the (temporary) lineups for the Mooseheads vs Junior game up already. I am writing as I go. I kept wondering why I did not see Jessyko out there with Piette in the first period. He appears to be some sort of scratch. Now, speaking of scratch, I am just going over here to sharpen my nails. Yes, I am biased. Someone must die for this injustice.

Goalies:

Jake Allen was supposed to start in nets for the Junior, but got a puck to the throat (ouch) in practice, so Bérubé is starting. Mark Yetman is in nets for the Moose. Speaking of poor: is Mathieu ever going to get a start ... or a painted helmet? So underappreciated!!! Will we have to attack Yeti and hurt him, Nancy Kerrigan style, just to get MCT his start? How unfortunate for Mathieu that it does not matter how he performs, he is still not allowed to play.

Goals:

1st period

Mooseheads: Desjardins with assists by Pender and Knotek

2nd period

Mooseheads: Power Play goal by Piette from MacAskill and Amyot. This was a nice shot taken from the blue line right in front of the net. I don't know exactly how it went down, it might have been a Piette tip in from an Amyot shot.

Junior: Layton from Adam. The Moose defence were a mess on this one, which went high glove side on Yetman.

Mooseheads: Stransky from Bona. Stransky was parked in front of the net... where all good boys park their asses.

Junior: Layton from Adam and Esposito. Adam and Layton had a 2 on 1 rush. Yetman made the save on Adam's shot but did not push left fast enough to get Layton's rebound.

Junior: Esposito from Adam and Layton (one line wonders here). Espo was parked in front of the net - taking out the trashes and fucking with my recyclables.

Tied at 3:3 going into the third

Mooseheads: Power play goal by Gerrad Grant, assisted by Linden Bahm.

Notes:

• Moose had a surprising 2 pp goals in 3 opportunities, then shut down the Junior on their 6 tries. Special teams are back in my good graces.
• It was not the most physical game ever.
• Yeti's glove hand was snappy like a lobster. He made a snogtastic 29 saves on 32 shots (18 dangerous). We will have to hold off on our Tonya Harding impersonation for now, sorry Matty.
• Randell's ankle loves to suffer. He took a puck to it at the end of the third, despite this being his first game back from an ankle sprain. I am sure his presence helped considerably on those six PKs.
  
• It was a reffing zombocracy. Quebec is apparently overrun with zombies.
• Knotek, Desjardins and Stransky may be trying to be a bit too fancy sometimes, what with their backwards passing and all.
• Bona did a good job breaking up a two on one.
• Game stars were (1) Stransky, (2) Desjardins, (3) Layton
• Cookies go to Gerrad Grant (or as his mother calls him Gerry, as in "Oh I hate to see Gerry get hit like that"...yeah, I sat next to his mom once, she is kind of a milf) for the game winner.

EDIT** NEWS LINKS
Wuest- Special teams shine as Mooseheads snap losing streak

Moncton, you sabotaged a perfectly beautiful face

The Mooseheads played the Wildcats in Moncton tonight and lost by a score of 4-2. Soooooo close. The Moose out shot the cats 38-28 but just could not outscore them.

The cats struck first with a goal by Randy Cameron at 7:10 into the second period. Jessyko Bernard (assisted by Desjardins) responded at 8:03 into the second, thus earning him a dozen cookies. Unfortunately, the Cats pulled back into the lead at 17:22 when Tomy Joly put one past Yetman.

The Wildcats secured their lead halfway through the third period with a goal by Scott Brannon, but just over a minute later Jan Stransky (yes again; assisted by Bahm and Dunn) pulled the Moose back into contending. Moncton's Devon MacAusland finished the Moose off by potting an empty net goal with 30ish seconds remaining.

Sounds like a hard fought game. Good try my little ungulates. I just have a quick question - if Bahm and Louis-XVI weren't hitting anything then what the hell were they doing? Knitting mittens for baby LBD to keep his hands warm while he sits on the bench and watches Nicola get all the starts?


So Tomy Joly finally ended his 5 game cold streak (you have my permission to steal a cookie from Jessyko). Why Tomy why? Why now? Why against my Moose? ...and what on Earth has the Moncton team photographer done to your precious face? This has nothing on your Titan team photo (meow).

No wonder you have not been scoring, you were too worried about your team photo being exposed for all to see. You know that the Wildcats keep a permanent online record of team alumni, don't you? This picture is forever. Actually the more I look at it, the more I get used to it... and I realize that it is still kinda hot. God, WHAT IS MY PROBLEM??? You were a DAMN TITAN. Everybody hates the Titan. I hate the Titan. I need a Moosehead to slap me around for such treason.*


Bah, enough with the slutting around on my team and back to hockey. Mark Yetman stopped 24 of 27 shots, Nicola Riopel stopped 36 of 38 - and all the goalies get stars. There must have been some damn impressive goalie mating dances going on in the Moncton Coliseum last night. I am sorry I missed it. I could watch goalies dance all day.

1. MON - Riopel, Nicola
2. MON - Brannon, Scott
3. HAL - Yetman, Mark

Links:
Matthew Wuest - Lineups: Mooseheads at Wildcats
Matthew Wuest - Happiness is the Moncton Wildcats in the rearview mirror

*this is not an endorsement of domestic abuse

Two in a Row.

Yep. You read that right - two in a row. The Mooseheads had their first back-to-back wins this season with a 4-3 SO win against Chicoutimi followed by tonight's 6-2 slaughtering of the Bathurst Titan.

Despite reports to the contrary, Jessyko Bernard was still out of the lineup with a groin injury, and Pender still has wonky hips like an old arthritic dog. New defenceman George Dunn was a healthy scratch, and Pelletier is still...somewhere??... MIA.

Yetman got the start, chosen over a mildly injured Corbeil, who we would all like to be fully healed before he steps back between the pipes, because fucking around and letting injured goalies play is stupid. Prolonging an injury is not hot.

Either that or there is a grand conspiracy being plotted against Corbeil, which involves lies being fed to the media, but I highly doubt it. When Yetman gets a start tomorrow against the Moncton Wildcats it will add further fuel to the fire. Why don't we just burn a fucking effigy already people? God, you have no idea how to hate properly!!! If it helps - look - we can pretend Corbeil played.

Ummmmm, no. Yetman was playing. Goals allowed was 2, shots were 35. WTF?

I had so much to say but I lost it. I forget everything and I was not even drinking. I feel so lazy and it is so late. Which is why I am referring you to Matthew Wuest's write up in the Metro.

At some point I remember thinking oh dear God Graham you look so good you can eat your cookies off the small of my back. Bona had a bajillion hits, a sexy fight, and two assists. The boys killed 5 of 5 penalties. Bona was just calmly playing like "No, I don't think so! yoink!" and so for that he gets the cookies. Also, because I am biased towards defencemen.

Desjardins was delightful in his interview: the kicky strong French accent, the wholehearted head-back laugh, the singing (in French) and the tongue thing (it must be some neurotic twitch).

I must also say Louis -XVI is trying really hard to be an upper tier boyfriend, and it is working because he is looking hotter with each successive game. Bahm is also buttering me up more lately. I remember thinking at the game today that I was pregnant with a whole litter of his puppies.

...and of course the Euros - they were highly amusing. Even Yuri was amusing me and he never amuses me (sorry, it's true). Stransky (2 goals) , Knotek (2 assists) and Cheremetiev (2 goals, 1 assist) were dominating the Titan.

Yetman was solid when Piette was not stealing his stick (no cookies for Alexis). He stopped 33 of 35 shots (when he did have his stick), a whole whack of which were dangerous.

So to summarise:
Cheremetiev: 2G, 1A, 2nd star
Stransky: 2G, 1st star
Knotek: 2A, 3rd star
Bona: 2A and a fight
Amyot (listed as Matheson): 2A
Bahm: 1G
Grant: 1G
McDonald:1A
MacDonald: 1A
Randell: 1A
Bety: 1A
MacAskill: 1A

Nothing on the QMJHL site right now seems right. The faceoff stats look whack, so I am not going to believe anything else it says... but you can trust me when I say the Moose did indeed win 6-2.

Happy boys are productive boys.

Cookies for goalies

My abominable shortbread injured his arm. He is trying to be Marty Brodeur. I don't know how to represent a groin strain in shortbread form. At least, not in a non-obscene manner. Hope you are feeling stretchy good soon.

Still awaiting signed adoption forms.

Rumour me this: Did Yeti hurt his groin?

...playing hockey that is. Last night I was checking my site meter and I saw this inquiry

Dumaresque called up, really?

So I began my internet hunt for this goaltending basket of puppies. I found him in Restigouche. Damn. I did not know he got traded from Summerside in mid November. Restigouche are poo.

Dumaresque is a 1000 puppies in a basket of kitten (tiger) skins

This morning on the message boards there were rumours that Yetman pulled his groin during Saturday's game against the Voltigeurs. Lucky for him that groin pull only prohibits him from being an effective skater.

Take it for what it is worth- a rumor. Maybe happy circumstance that allows me to point at Yetman and laugh. Yet it is a goalie rumor so I absolutely must blog it.


***EDIT
Evidence at last. So much for Yeti finding his groove.

Sweet Revenge

The Halifax Mooseheads defeated the Bathurst Titan 3-2 in the shootout. The game winning goal was scored by Gerrad Grant. Mark Yetman stopped 22 shots. Well they showed me, didn't they. I missed most of the game but I was saying before the shootout don't put GG in, he misses the net. He proved me wrong. He was all like "in your face stupid bitch". Stupid bitch indeed.

Moose had 41 shots on net, but most were from the outside. Halifax goals were by Piette and Knotek in regulation. Jessyko Bernard and Gerrad Grant got the goals in the 8 round shootout. Yetman made 7 saves in the shootout and received third star honours.

Mah Boo Tomy Joly had both goals for the Titan and was first star of the game. He must learn that the easiest way to my heart is by NOT making my team look like fools. Damn him. I am torn. Bathurst goaltender Nicholas Champion received 2nd star honours for his 39 save performance.

Dear boys,
When it goes onto shootout and you are going backhand - GO HIGH. Jessyko is such a good puppy. Do as Jessyko did - it will get you goals. That is, unless you are Pender, in which case you should just stick with the scarey-ass slapshot. Fancy moves ARE NOT your thing.
Thanks
kisses and cookies
Q

Goalie. Story. Must. Resist. Posting. arrggg.

This weekend the Moose have three games in three nights. Mark Yetman is likely to get the start in at least two of these games. Bathurst's is supposedly his favorite barn to play in, so he may very well get the start tonight. Matthew Wuest spoke with Yetman, here is the lowdown:

“It’s been up and down,” admitted Yetman, who has a 3.95 goals-against average and an .868 save percentage in 24 starts. “You know, even though my stats might not show it, I feel I’ve been playing pretty well the past few weeks.”

He said he’s faced more high-quality scoring chan­ces than he did last season, but agrees he has room to improve.

“Everyone can play better, and as a 20-year-old goalie, you want to be one of the better players every night, especially on an inexperienced team,” he said. “It’s a tough situation, and I’m going to have to find a groove and keep with it.”

Darling Mark,
Please play better. I know the situation against Bathurst was tough but it was your choice to open your legs like that. Butt's were not made for stopping pucks, those long legs with puffy pads have a purpose. You may be here for the long haul, and we both have to live with this 'situation'. Please make it easier on both of us by giving the team a chance to win on any given night. Heck, let's make it 50% of given nights. I will settle for 50%. I don't ask for a lot from you, I never have.

I still like your 'goalie outfit', it has a magical power over me. I am an honest girl, so I am going to be blatantly honest: you have been wearing '5 goals-against in pink' a lot this season and it does not look good on you with your skin tone. May I suggest more neutral colours in a three goals-against range. It will look better with your dark, fluffy hair and sad puppy-dog eyes.

Yours in bitterness and confusion,
some. silly. female

The Trouble with tribbles...on your face.

Everyone knows that my lust for Travis Fullerton is so strong that I am capable of overlooking the occasional moustache thing he has going on. I may, in fact, even find his moustache kinda sexy. I would lick it.

...and yet my team is currently suffering from a major overdose of hair in the upper lip region. I do not like it. Is it all just a dare? Why is it spreading from face to face? Is it a joke? Goalie mask shadow? Are some of these mistakes from attempted puberty beards gone horribly wrong?

Decide for yourself. I give you in very fuzzy picture format: Jessyko Bernard, Graham Bona, Alexis Piette and Mark Yetman. They didn't start the season looking like this.


Perhaps this is the first ever recorded case of regressive evolution in man. They are regressing from Homo sapien back into Bryceus swanicus.

Gerrad Grant has "a body like a model"/ I feel shame.

This post has little to do with hockey and more to do with hockey players. As such I will get the nitty gritty out of the way and let the world know that the Mooseheads lost to the Acadie-Bathurst Titan by a score of 6-4. Mooseheads had the lead three times (2-1, 3-2, 4-3)...and just kept losing it.

For a guy who takes pride in his butterfly stylin' Mark Yetman has a very slutty 5 hole. As I was saying to a friend, Yetman only played well in Moncton because the Wildcats provided him with appropriate pre-game meal of kittey food. That is what cats eat. When he came home and got some of that homemade Mac and Cheese he so likes, it fucked him up, because kittey's should be eating kittey food.

Everything you need to know about the game you can learn by checking out the QMJHL game summary, or Matthew Wuest's lineups (Linden Bahm out HEALTHY, why I NEVER!!!) and game notes.


But this post is not about hockey. This post is about the arrogance of some boys who play hockey. I am going to use curse words. Children - go away NOW. This post is not for you.

Are you gone yet? Good!!!


Every home game we get a game program; the program includes an interview with a player. Today's player was Gerrad Grant (#22). I know I have gone here before but let me continue. One of the questions is "Finish this sentence: I'd be a billionaire if I had a dollar every time some one said..." Gerrad Grant answered "I have the body of a model".

Dude. Fuck Off.

You are an athlete. If you don't have a good body you are fucked. I automatically assume most boys who play hockey have a body that is better than the norm, but to brag about it is just arrogant. Have it ...be humble. What your mother tells you and the puck bunnies tell you DOES NOT COUNT.

Assholes are not hot. Much like how boys will fuck girls and think those girls are twits, there are girls who will fuck boys and then laugh with their friends about what an idiot that guy was. All the girls know. All the girls laugh. DUDES...GIRLS TALK A LOT. Also, girls USE guys. Then we call you stupid and laugh at you. Heterosexual females like male bodies, but to tell you the truth that is all there is to most of you. Bodies. Especially young selfish guys like junior hockey players.

Being an arrogant asshole is not hot

You think you are attractive when you are not. You think you are good in bed because lots of girls will let you fuck them. Just because puck bunnies are chasing after you or using you for your body it does not mean you are hot, nice, worth any girl's actual time and effort, intelligent, a good conversationalist, nor does it mean you are particularly good in bed. One problem is your choice of female companion. Seventeen year old hos from Cole Harbour don't know what "good in bed" means. Nor do you. Just because she made sounds it does not mean she is satisfied. It does not mean you are king of the bedroom. Fuck, most of the time you barely qualify to be court jester on the ice.


Ahhhhh

So because Mark Yetman and Gerrad Grant exhaused themselves before the game with their jerking off - Mark to his "good looking" face, Gerrad to his "model's body", they gave the Titan a chance to win. Brav-a-muther-fuckin-O.

May I just say, as a spokesperson for the vast majority of the female population: shut up. You are behaving like idiots. You may be cool now but junior hockey will end for you sooner than you think. Real life is not at all like "keys to the VIP".

PS. You know who actually is hot. Tomy Joly (to your right): Strong chin, good smile, pleasant eyes, delectable eyebrows. But just because I think he is good looking he shouldn't let it go to his head...especially since he is practically a midget. Hey, we all have faults.

Topsy turvy/ I feel pride

Last night the Halifax Mooseheads defeated the Moncton Wildcats in the shootout for a final score of 2-1. Yep you read that right. Going into last night's game the Moose were the second worst team in the league, the Cats were the second best...and yet ka-pow, a win.


I am glad they put Pender in the shootout and was not surprised that he got the goal. Fear on the part of the opposing goaltender alone should be enough get him the goal. No one wants to be hit by a puck coming off that slapshot.

No matter how much I currently hate to say this: props to Yetman for a 32 save performance, winning the 1st star, and his supposed "glove hand of larceny". I am also handing out props to Knotek for the goal in regulation and the shootout, as well as props to Charles Bety for the game winner in the shootout.

I missed most of the game, because it turns out I actually do have a life, and so I can't really comment on the game. I just hope the boys are feeling good about their win and can use the win and its momentum to blow the Titan out of the water on Sunday.

According to Willy Palov's article in today's issue of the Chronicle Herald:

The Mooseheads (9-18-1-1) went into the game as huge underdogs against the second-overall Wildcats (20-2-2-2). But thanks to some stellar goaltending from Mark Yetman and long stretches of mistake-free hockey, they managed to secure the unexpected win.

Yetman made 32 saves during 65 minutes of intense action and then stoned all but two of Moncton’s seven shooters in the showdown. Charles Bety notched the winner in the shootout on Halifax’s seventh shot.

"Mark was real solid," Russell said. "He didn’t get a lot of action in the first (period); I think they only had three shots on net. It’s tough for the goalie to stay involved when it’s like that but he stayed focused and was good all night.

"And he made a couple of big saves in the shootout, too."

For the Wildcat's side of the story check out Neil Hodge's piece at the Times and Transcript.

Hey Playa, THAT feels even better.

Tonight the Mooseheads took on the MAINEiacs at the Androscoggin Bank Colisee in Lewiston. This time we won - WITH A SHUTOUT. I don't even have to pull out a calculator to figure out the save percentage on this one, as Mark Yetman stopped 43 of 43 shots for the win.


How stressful were the last two minutes of play? Answer - so very f'n stressful. We gave Lewiston a power play with just under two minutes remaining in the game and had to finish it off playing 4 on 6 hockey.

Mooseheads goals were scored by rookies Ned O'Brien (Linden Bahm, Justin Pender) and Chad Earle (Linden Bahm, Gerrad Grant), both in the first period. One of the most beautiful moments was after Chad Earle's goal when one unidentified Moosehead player totally biffed it while celebrating the goal. I did indeed "laugh out loud". I love when stupid unpredictable things happen during hockey games.

Once again this year we have to be careful about turning the puck over and giving our opponents a chance to score on our power play. Knotek did this twice. Since Mark was there to save the day I will not banish Knotek to the sofa, but he will be sleeping at the foot of the bed with no blankets.

Alexis Piette was today's faceoff master winning 14 of 19 draws. Unfortunately, he was the stressinator who got a penalty at 18:15 of the 3rd. If Mark is smart he will slap him upside the head for threatening his shutout bid.

Mark was good at corralling the rebounds and he made a most delightful glove save with about 4 minutes left in the game. He was huggin' posts, preventing rebounds, and playin' the puck like a pro. Playin' like only a playa' can play. When I went to bed last night I was all like grrrr Yetman. When I woke up this morning I was all like grrrr Yetman... and yet right now Mark is looking amazingly dreamy. Think of all the sexy fun times we could have with that 'first star' (and Linden Bahm). Rawr.

The three stars are:

1. HAL - Yetman, Mark
2. HAL - Bahm, Linden
3. LEW - Wright, Philip

Good News/ Bad News/ Circular rantings

Today is Monday. Everybody hates Monday. I hate Monday because I just found out that the Sea Dogs have traded 20 year old defensive forward Francois Gauthier to the Val d'Or Foreurs. I am now in a very pissy mood. This clears up a place for another 20 year old on the Sea Dogs roster. The big question now is which 20YO are the Sea Dogs looking to pick up?

Mondays also mean that the QMJHL have announced their players of the week and Sportsnet has put out its hot/not list.

Let’s start with the good news:

Everybody’s baby boyfriend Olivier Roy (he has all the girl bloggers cooing) of the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles is the QMJHL defensive player of the week. So far this season Olivier has had 7 starts with no losses. This past weekend he had two wins over the Lewiston Maineiacs (including a 5-0 shutout) coming out with a 1.0 GAA and 0.961 save %. Sportsnet is also currently running a feature on Olivier Bellavance-Roy.

If you are going to build a fenced-in area it has to be used for something very special. I am going to build a small fenced-in area and put Olivier in it. I do not want those nasty Cape Breton skanks putting their hands on his preciousness. I hope he manages to leave Cape Breton and the Q in an STD free state.

Also rans include Drew Paris (Defence – Titan), TJ Brennan (Defence – Montreal) and Charles Lavigne (Goaltending – Remparts).

Does anybody remember when Charlie got traded from Moncton to the Quebec Remparts and everybody boo-booed the trade saying that my pokey Charlie could not hack it on a contending team because he was not such a good goalie. They said that he would simply be used for trade at X-mas. Man those people suck ‘eh. The folks of Moncton, and I, and probably Charlie’s parents were all NUTS TO YOU JERKS. It turns out that we were right. All Charlie really needed was a better team in front of him. He has skillz. That was never the issue. Lavigne currently has 5 wins, 1 loss a 2.14 GAA and .927 save %. I will now purr at Charles Lavigne and knead this former Wildcat like a kitty. That will be his prize.

There is really no way of explaining why Jonathan Roy is also doing well backstopping the same team. I assume in his case it is just fluke.

Ummmm – the hard part

Sportsnet has also announced its hot and cold players/teams of the week. The QMJHL cold player for the week is Mark Yetman. Ouch. They even take the time to point out that he could very well lose his job if he keeps it up with the low caliber of his play. Double ouch.

It is one thing when I say it; it is completely another when it is shouted out on a national sports website. Mark currently has one win, seven losses, a 3.98 and 0.838 save % for the season. This weekend he allowed 11 goals on 49 shots – he basically stopped only 1 in every 4 shots on net.

Mr Yetman may need to take his brain and place it firmly back in his cranium where it is most useful for coordinating the motor response to a visual stimulus. I fear that sometimes he (like many a Junior hockey player and average young man) keeps his brain stored someplace much less useful. That being said, it is so easy to blame the goalie (even one with an occasionally misplaced cortex). I, like many others, have to remember that while Mark’s performance thus far this season has been underwhelming, he is a real human boy with real human boy thoughts and feelings. I constantly afforded sympathies and respect to Pier when his performance was underwhelming, so why do I have a hard time doing it with Mark?*

This is not professional hockey, it is junior hockey, a development league even, and Mark (or Mathieu) is not only still developing but he has thirteen*** rookies in front of him (and quite possibly an incompetent coaching staff behind him). Admittedly, some rookie goalies (ahem, OBR) have managed to do much better under similar circumstances, but those goalies were touched by God and also play for a team which may be competently coached.

I am going to go hunt down our netminders now and hold them reassuringly tight to my bosom. Yetman will be nuzzled into my chestful of warm embrace and all I will hear are some mufflings about my having to buy a 15 game pack**…then something about a big stick. Oh sweety, I already have a 15 game pack and all of the associated privileges. Thanks though. Now what were you saying about a big stick?

____________________________________________

*I actually know the answer to this question, but refuse to say it here.

** Seriously, the in-game promo ads are very 'dur'. Why choose Mark to do them and not Logan? Dullardry! Mark is too wooden (that’s what she said). It could be worse; it could be IR Pender or IR Cheremetiev – we must be saving Yuri for next season. At least Mark doesn’t sound stupid.

***Mistake, I blame it on the Q website. We have 14 rookies: 13 skaters 1 goaltender. Snow, Earle and Chisholm are not listed as rookies on the Q Mooseheads page.

kitty is dangerous

First off I would like to preface my post by getting the nitty gritty out of the way. The Mooseheads lost to the Moncton Wildcats by a score of 4-2. Riopel (not baby LBD- Boo) was in nets for Moncton and stopped 14 of 16 shots thrown at him. Mark Yetman backstopped Halifax making 24 saves, and allowing 4 goals (with 20 dangerous shots). Moncton are currently undefeated in all 6 games this season.

Since there were only 16 shots on net, and three dangerous shots – it would have been an excellent game to have given LBD a start, alas NO.

Riopel lost his stick. How would LBD have handled this situation?

Goal scorers for Moncton include Matt Eagles, Mark Barberio and Matt Brown who potted two goals as well as a helper to get the first star of the game. Justin Pender (second Star; assisted by McDonald and Piette), and Graham Bona (unassisted) replied for the Mooseheads. Moncton’s Matthew Bissonnette was the third star of the game, he had one assist. He also gets the prize for most double consonants in a name.

Now on to Foolish ranting:

Mark Yetman
You are my goalie, thus I have to talk about you because not only are you a goalie, but you are MY goalie and I am obsessed with goalies. It would be worse if I were not talking about you because then that would mean that I did not care. Comprende? Come here, I want to hug you.

What you do not know is that the other night after I got angry about the game in PEI, I realized that the 4^th goal was probably more of an exhaustion thing. We had just been on the PK for what? 10 minutes straight. I felt bad for getting angry, so I came downstairs and curled up on the sofa with you.

That being said there is no need for the cocky arrogance you sometimes exude. Admittedly it can be both a huge turn off or a turn on, depending on whether or not you are the kinda girl who likes assholes. I was browsing through the game program, and today’s featured player was you. There was a questionnaire and the last question you answered was FINISH THIS SENTENCE: I’d be a billionaire if I had a dollar every time someone told me…"I was good looking".

I am speechless! I will let your 2007-2008 team photo do the talking... and yet, at some point during the game you were talking to the refs, you lifted your mask (and you were covered in a fine dew of goalie sweat), you spit and said to the refs, with a look of arrogant defiance, “what?” …and at that very moment I had feelings that a chick of my age should not have for a kid of your age. Yes, at that moment you did indeed look hot. Lust worthy even. We will chalk it up to the fine dew of sweat, the arrogance and the goalie gear.

I also liked you today. Sure you let in one goal in the first two shots (I call it the Yeti effect) but somehow I remained calm and pacified and just watched you move. Are we sure that the first goal did not involve some sort of goalie interference that prevented you from getting back across the crease? I don’t know. When you were down on the end near my seat you were quite coo-liebe worthy, turning aside 11 of 12 shots. You poked! I was excited. You caught a puck as it came down from the netting – not relevant to the game but still kinda cute. You played the puck up ice to someone (I forget who). Furthermore you did awesome on that very long five on three.

I like the sound of the puck hitting leather *sigh*. I think I just like you today. Today is a very forgiving day.

Captain Graham Bona also deserves props. He kept himself out of the box – apparently 8 minutes of shame in one night is enough for a season (I would hope – not likely). He brought the puck up the ice, shot it into the Wildcats zone on the right, zoomed over to the left got the puck on his stick again and put it in the top righthand corner. It was Beeeaaautttifulll. Then they played his goal video and he made sexeeface. There is no denying his attempt at sexeeface, which is why I am giving you a picture montage from his goal video to prove my point. HA HA.

Serious Graham, smirky Graham, sexee Graham, normal Graham (the best kind)

Scott McDonald
It's not what you did (an assist), it is what you didn't do (play defence) that has me worked up today. I thought you had Sea Dog power. I also though you had some other extra special powers that were acquired from having likely seen Travis Fullerton in a state of undress. Why are you not using your powers? You can sleep on the sofa tonight.