Hockeyless summers suck

Memorial of Ivan Hlinka Tournament
Canada's under 18 squad has been running away with this one. So far we have defeated the USA 6-4, the Czech's 4-2, the Swiss 5-3, and the Swedes 4-3. The D's have been shutting them down big time - for example, in the game against Switzerland we faced 19 shots on net and their poor little goalie had to face 47. In the game against Sweden we had 51 shots whereas they were limited to 23. Give this Lieuwen kid some work wills ya Simon baby.

My preternaturally large baby Simon has been racking up the penalties: charging the Americans, roughing the Czechs, high sticking and hooking the Swiss, and finishing it off by slashing the Swedes - boy doesn't make the same mistake twice. Today we take on the Slovaks. What new and creative penalty will Simon be thrown in the box for*?


Links:
NHL.com prospects reports for the Wild feature Val d'Or's Marco Scandella while Montreal's features some old school Q boys like Jaroslav Halak (Lewiston) and Mathieu Carle (Bathurst Titan).

The Times and Transcript has a write up about Wildcats netminder Nicola Riopel and his upcoming adventures at the Habs rookie camp.

Will Mooseheads winger Jakub Voracek get to be the real number 93 in Columbus next year? If they are giving him numbers it means that the possibility of spending the 2008-2009 season with the Blue Jackets is within reach. That guy who shows up at Mooseheads games with the Voracek #20 Blue Jackets jersey totally needs to get that thing modified. Thanks to Bethany for the link.

The Sea Dogs have traded goaltender Matt Dopud to the Gatineau Olympiques. Matt played part of the 2006-2007 season with the Dogs.


Gr'ups:
Moncton Wildcats are looking for a GM. Their advert for a new GM probably starts with the words "Dear Ted, please save us".

The PEI Rocket are seeing some staff changes as well.

The Volts have hired their new goalie coach to replace Marco Marciano, who will be moving on to more gigantic and wonderful goalie coaching things.


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*edit - So how did Simon Despres mix it up today against the Slovakians? - 1 goal, no penalties. Canada wins 9-1 and now advances to the Gold medal finals.

Team White, Team Red ... and Jakub Voracek?

Hockey Canada has posted the results for the 1st Team Canada under 18 scrimmage taking place at their training camp in Calgary. Team White defeated team Red 2-0. My chubbycheeked cuddlebunny Maxime Clermont (Gatineau) allowed the only goal of the game, the other was an empty netter.

Who were the glorious goaltenders to get that shutout: that's right! our boy Olivier Roy (Screaming Eagles) and some young west coast chap named Nathan Lieuwen (Westside - BCHL).

While I am on an OliRoy roll I am just going to post an old you tube video of an Eagles vs Wildcats game from the 2007-2008 season. At about 6:00 into the video Nicolas Chouinard interviews his teammate Olivier about his recent shutout performance en Francais. They switch to English at about 8:00 into the video.



Don't tell me that you do not want to take Olivier Roy home, tie him to a chair in your kitchen, and force feed him cookies. Without the playoff skullet HE IS ADORABLE...and this is coming from a Mooseheads fan - sworn mortal enemy of the Eagles, or at least I should be were I not from Cape Breton. For you see I am a Moose convert - a traitor. I can't go home. They will gouge out my eyes.

There is still a fleck of Eagle love in my heart (lodged near one of my valves - if it is removed I might die) which persists because that team plays with so much grit and intensity that they make it difficult not to love them. But when you live with 25 Moose, who are so sweet and cuddly soft, it is difficult not to love them as well.

Anyway, back to Hockey Canada: The Victorious team White features Mooseheads forward Old Man Randell, David Gilbert (Quebec Remparts), Matthew Brown (Moncton), Gleason Fournier (Rimouski) and Mikael Tam (Quebec).

Team Red features Simon Després (Saint John), Hubert Labrie (Gatineau), Yeti Jr. (Shawinigan), and Steven Anthony (Saint John).

What did our glorious Q players do? I have no idea! All I can say is that the Q-boys combined for no goals, no assists and not even a single penalty. I guess that taking no penalties is good!


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Hockeyscene.com has a feature on Mooseheads winger and 2007 BlueJackets 1st round draft pick Jakub Voracek. While I love to copy and paste everything here - I will instead refer you to the Hockey Scene website.

It would seem that the Blue Jackets are taking very serious look at keeping Jakub even though he will only be 19 this season. They say his main weakness is his reluctance to shoot, preferring instead to use his remarkable vision to act as a playmaker.

Development/Conditioning Camps

Nothing much is transpiring right now in the world of QMJHL hockey. Development camps have begun for many NHL teams, and I have heard no word on any invites for Sea Dogs goaltender Travis Fullerton, which is a damn dirty shame. Robert Mayer, on the other hand, has been invited to Montreal for their development camp. Life is sometimes so unfair to goalies. Travis was a motherfuckin' madman between the pipes, and he never quit on a rebound. He usually had me clench fisted and screaming "ohhhhhhhh yeah, oh, OH, oh, ohhhhh YES, YESSSSSSSS" at the little video box on my computer screen. Satisfying!!! If all else fails, I hope that citizen Fullerton remembers that he is still invited to the development camp in my pants.

I somehow missed that unsigned LA kings prospect Joey Ryan (Gatineau) was invited to NYR development camp. Blueshirt Bulletin has posted this description of Ryan: "The large crop of free agents was largely unimpressive. One player stood out -- Joe Ryan, the only one in the group who had once been drafted. The space between his ears was the reason for his fall from grace, according to one observer present who knew a bit more about him than the rest of us. But he looked good on the ice." Oh poor Joey, not so smart eh? Here, have a cookie!

As for Ryan Hillier:

Sarah over at Neutral Zone Trap has been to the arena to check out the first day of development camp for the Columbus Blue Jackets. She had this to say about Jakub Voracek: “Voracek looked a little out of sorts. His skill was obvious, but he seemed to be making some mistakes, and looked frustrated at times. Hopefully just working out the kinks.”

Let me guess: someone just skated up and stole the puck from him as he was nearing the blue line. Also, he failed to back check. Did I get that right? Do I get a prize? Oh Sarah, please wrap Mior (Gatineau) in a pretty bow for me and ship him here. Put a little note on him that says “for your own personal goalie development camp”.

I know what you are thinking; you are thinking: "both Fully and Mior? Slut!!!". While I am sitting here thinking that I should be able to accommodate at least three in my development camp*. Mmmm Fully and Mior - I would be in a sea of crazy blue goalie eyes; both boys look mildly insane. But, alas no! There really is no development camp in my pants because I could not get funding from the government to rent an extra apartment, or 'sin bin' as it were. Also, we all know that goalies never get to go to the box, and that in itself is a damn dirty shame, because goalies get away with doing all sorts of bad things and then never have to serve their time (Yeah, you know who you are).

Eric at Hockey Buzz also checked out the Blue Jackets and was a little more positive about Jakub. Eric thinks that "Jakub Voracek was a man among boys! Absolute stud that has hands and vision that almost every player in the NHL would dream to have. He even had a time where he fought off a check on a 2 on 2 drill and still built speed going to the net. He is the real deal!"

The Ducks have a feature article on Logan MacMillan at their website. Why am I always slow on the Logan news? I love me some hardworking, backchecking, nostril flaring, makeup wearing...wait, why does Logan look like a makeup victim in these pictures? Did Steve Mason get to him?

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*I am really getting into this foursome thing. Unfortunately, while at first it has you screaming halleliljah, afterwards you feel all Huseliused.

Hillier Image from Blueshirt Bulletin

Where in the world is Jakub Voracek?

Columbus, bitches -that's where! Bethany, who runs a fancy little Blue Jackets blog called Bethany's Hockey Rants told me so. Bethany would never lie to me. Wuest also told me so, but sometimes I think HE IS LYING to me.

Mooseheads winger Jakub Voracek (Jake) has been invited down to Columbus to hold hands and make plans with Derick Brassard. He has agreed to do it because P-O Pelletier told him how much fun it is to hold hands and make plans with Brassard. The question is - will Brassard want to hold Jake's hand, because Jake has some serious competition in P-O' s hands - they are very soft. If P-O gave me his hand I would never let go - ever*.

According to Wuest's report Voracek is one of six prospects who will train with Blue Jackets strength and conditioning coach Barry Brennan. He will follow a detailed diet, work out two hours a day, and box three hours a week. Voracek weighed 182 pounds in training camp in 2007, but is now up to 200 pounds.

“My goal is to make the team,” Voracek told the Dispatch. “That was my goal last year, too. I can’t say if I’ll make it right now, but I know I’ll be a better player after a summer here.”

*I can't believe I let go - D.U.M.B.

tanks boys

Tanks from the tanked. That game was long and it took a lot of beer to get through it. Not only that but I developed a bad case of sofa butt. My butt used to be nice but then you had to go and ruin it all by playing into 3rd OT and making me load up on brain-juice to stay awake. I was all bloated and gross- next time I feel the need to get drunk on a Tuesday it is straight tequila for me.

Thank you Jakub Bionicek. My gift to you is this new handle. Use it wisely. This lushy poindextress really needed her sleep.

Jabub Voracek had the game winner at 3:02 into 3rd OT. He deserves more than stars and cookies , he deserves a marlenka.

The three stars blow my mind - Culligan, Haddad and Bodnarchuk. Really? Here we have a game that goes into 3rd OT with over 100 shots on net and only 3 goals per team and yet the squeelicious 'gardiens de but' get no props. Sir, I am offended.

Not only that but Bionicek had 3 points (more than any other boy on either team with one goal, two assists) which included the game winning OT goal and he got no stars. The levels of bogosity on this call are immeasurable. Speaking of bogosity - WTF is with the early whistles on plays near the nets. Dear refs keep your eye on the puck - what exactly do get paid for again?

In a game like this stars should not be rewarded for effort - they should be rewarded for results. Jake = results.

Moose vs Tigres: Game 5

Hooray for our win. The Moose totally dominated and we did not give up any short handed goals. Whenever we give up a short handed goal on the PP it actually acts to negate any one individual goal we got on our PP. So even if we have between 22-25 % success on the PP, part of that is actually negated by the SHG we give up. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

Randell and Louis-Seize finally got to be involved in some playoff hockey

Justin Pender (the Pender Bender) had what I believe may have been his third unassisted goal (?). Newfies do it solo (just ask Yetty/Yeti). So now that Justin has shown that he can hit the net does this mean he can get some more PP time…maybe on the point? In the past four games Justin has almost doubled his goal production from the regular season, during which time he had 4 goals. I was hoping for a Newf dominant game with goals or assists by White and Randell as well. The Newfs were supposed to get goals and then we would all gather round and sing "Between two trees". Unfortunately, the White/ Randell/ Knotek line was not as productive as I would have liked. It is nothing against Tomas Knotek, but I do not like White with Knotek. My gut tells me that they do not work together...maybe they can prove my gut wrong.

Either John Moore or the color commentator said that “everybody wants to play with Andrew White”. This is because Andrew made them cupcakes (I told you the cupcakes would work). It is true. Even I like to play with Andrew White. This is why I have a little Andrew White voodoo doll which I hold to my bosom, and sometimes I play hockey with it. I use my Whitey voodoo to put the puck in the net. When I am done I feed my Whitey cookie crumbs, and then hold it to my bosom again.

Things that make me happy include 1) Eric Louis-Seize finally getting to play a playoff game. 2) Swan getting back into the game…even if he is on the fourth line. Sometimes he is on the ice, but he is not really playing. I actually like him with some combo of Eric or David. I like the super tough guy line. Unfortunately this puts Marchand with Hillier and Corsi...and I do not like that line combo. We have too many damn centers. 3) Jake finally realizing that he is not Samson, and that cutting his hair actually should not affect his game…it is all mental you silly little girl. 4) Yeti’s multi-minute showdown with the puck as it sat all alone in the faceoff circle to his left. He just hunkered down and did a stare-down with the puck. “Listen puck – I don’t like you and you don’t like me. We need a compromise. You promise to stay away from my net and I promise…. ”. I also am glad that Yeti can adapt later in the game despite normally being weak to start. 5) Voracek, Pridham and MacMillan together at last. 6) Guillaume was a +4 for this game. Thus I had to return the (-3) kisses I had previously taken away and I had to give him an extra kiss.

Kevin Poulin is a rag doll. Does he get tired by the third if he plays a full game where he is actually facing shots? His lower body would move into position but his upper body just appears to flop around. Poor boy. Get him to the Gatorade sports institute fast. They will say, you are losing too many ions, may I suggest you drink some Gatorade. I wonder why they have such a sports institute when the solution is always just “drink Gatorade”.

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Quebec vs Chicoutimi

I read the following comment attributed to Martel and laughed.

“De manière sarcastique, Richard Martel a indiqué qu'une sanction juste, dans le cas de Jonathan Roy, aurait été de le forcer à garder les buts des Remparts.”

Essentially he is saying a better punishment would have been to force the Remparts to keep Roy in nets. Indeed that would have been much better.

News articles from around the Q:
Titan vs Fog Devils: "The series is only going to get tougher"
"Titan Regain Control in Opening Round Series"

Baie-Comeau Drakkar: "Early Exit Stings former Wildcat"

Mooseheads: "Moose find way out of Tigres' Trap"
"Looking for Consistency"

Eagles:"Eagles Return Home, Looking to Advance"
"Eagles look to oust MAINEiacs tonight"
"Series shift back to Cape Breton"