Spokane Chiefs win the Memorial cup...then break it

Let's just get to it, shall we. Mashinter had the first goal for Kitchener in the first period. Spokane answered back with a goal on the powerplay by Judd Blackwater (THE rockinest name EVER) and tied the game at 1-1 before the end of the first period. Unice totally should have stopped that puck.

Spokane then took the lead in the second period with goals by Bowman and Glass and continued to shut the Rangers down for the rest of the game, ultimately winning 4-1 after an empty net goal by Cowen. Just this once I throw my support behind the non-defensive team (because I was more familiar with the players), and they go and lose on me. Silly bunt!!!

Then the Spokane Chiefs broke the cup. It just snapped in their Captain's (Bruton) hands. The cup came off, the pedestal was flopping around, and the little hockey player on the side snapped off. Then all the boys stopped and stared in shock as the corpse of the Memorial cup lay there on the ice. However, once they got the multiple pieces of their broken trophy in their 'grabby' little hands, they said Woooooo...a lot.

Spokane goaltender Dustin Tokarski made a total of 52 saves and he was given the 'superboy award' of the tournament, otherwise known as the Stafford Smythe Memorial Trophy, for having a 4-0 record with a 1.72 GAA and .953 save %. Other awards are listed at the Memorial cup website.


Sprig factor:
I am not denying that Tokarski is spriggin, I just think that Unice is more spriggin. Tokarski, however, gets me thinking about an issue which I never discuss because I hate it - the size of a goaltender's equipment. Did they buy his in extra large because he is still growing? I don't care how big your blocker, trapper or pads are but if your damn pants don't fit I think it is time to consider how absolutely silly you look. He really needs those suspenders. I wanted to pants him. The helmet - huge, the chest protector - also huge. Still, he is fairly spriggin. I will give Tokarski cookies of celebration. Then I will go into the other room with Unice and give him cookies of condolence. Cookies of condolence come with extra chocolate chips, a huge glass of milk and a shoulder to cry on, Bernier style.

Also did you see some of those shots on Tokarski? Dear Kitchener - when the boy is laying down and the whole top of the net is open, just lift the puck a bit. Also, Tokarski spends a lot of time on his knees and all you had to do was shoot high. That is all. Damn.

Unice - I don't want to criticize you (here, have another cookie) but when you are down in the butterfly and you have to move left across the crease, bring your right leg up and push off. Mentally willing yourself across the crease will get you nowhere, and desperately wiggling your right leg just looks silly. Also, when YOU play the puck, it scares me. However, you are still too darn cute.


The Q:
But...I have learned something from watching this game. We have the Q draft coming up in early June and may I suggest we draft the boys who really enjoy, and are also really good at shouting woooo. This way, they will play hard just so they can win and get a chance to yell wooooo.

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The CHL also handed out their league awards during the Memorial cup run. Congrats go out to Robert Slaney from the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles for being so smart, to Chris Morehouse of the Moncton Wildcats for being so nice despite the fact that it is his job to punch players in the face and to Cédric Lalonde-McNicoll of the Shawinigan Cataractes for being the most pleasant boy in all of hockey.

Kitchener will face Spokane in the Memorial Cup Final

I have discovered that the Memorial cup is not an award for whichever team can play the best game of hockey. It is, instead, an award that goes to the team which can transform their playoff beards into the most meticulously groomed homages to douchebaggery. We should be glad that the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies did not make it to the Memorial cup tournament…I am pretty sure that Gougeon has the skills to trim a hedge of topiaries where his beard once was.

I figured that the ‘Piques were groomed in a manner douchy enough to get it done…but alas no. Then, with the well groomed Spokane Chiefs (3-0) and Bellville Bulls (2-1) emerging triumphantly from round robin, I began to doubt my theory…that is until I tuned in tonight for the semi-final. The Kitchener Rangers destroyed the Belleville Bulls 9-0 and will go on to face Spokane in the finals on Sunday. Sweet little Josh Unice had the shutout with 25 saves.

Now given, I missed most of the game because I have been supplementing my hockey diet with episodes of the Wire, and the super hot McNulty and I were on a sweaty three episode roll that made me lose track of time and miss a good chunk of the game. I did however tune in during the last period and I was all like “God Damn”…now there is a lover. I could detail the game for you but I am a lazy bum....why should I write something when TSN has done it already.

...but let me just point out that Mike Duco’s mohawk and blazin’ red mutton chops are getting the job done for unfortunate hair choices everywhere. Even by losing the upper-lip part of his handlebar moustache (seen at right) for game 3, Claude Giroux’s symmetric vertical chin bars still could not top the inspirational power of the blazin’ red Mutton Chop. Talk about Duco taking one for the team.

How dare I cheat on hockey with crime drama. Sure, hockey is going to dump me, leave me hopeless and alone, all so that it can have its own sexy summer romances. Then in September the QMJHL will come crawling back to me, begging for my love. I, like the sucker I am, will oblige. Until then, I have one more junior hockey game remaining, and at a maximum only 7 more NHL games until the sweet, sweet release from my painful hockey affairs of 2007/2008. I should take advantage of what little time we have remaining.

Then I can obsess over how Omar from the wire is awesome because he wears a NJ Devils Jersey. I don’t know if it a backhanded comment on NJ fans that they made Omar a homosexual snitch; I am just happy that at least there are some other NJ devils fans out there…be they real or fictional.

Sticking with goalie talk

I have so much to say about everything - like Gatineau being out of the Memorial cup in three games, but it hurts too much to talk about it. Love and loss is one of the most painful things. Just ask Gatineau captain J-P Chabot about the pain - he was crying, I was not. I have almost gone numb when it comes to hockey this season, every round I pick a new lover, about a week later they dump my ass. I have gone through 7 hockey lovers between the QMJHL and the NHL so far this playoff season. Do you see why I have gone numb?

If you need Memorial cup coverage you can check out the official Memorial cup webpage. The QMJHL website has also covered Gatineau's downfall in the Memorial cup tournament. I will stick with NJ draft pick Matt Halischuk and the Rangers for now (lover #8, Detroit Red Wings will be lover #9 by default). I also find Ranger's goaltender Josh Unice wonderfully spriggin - his little nose and pouty upper lip look cute peeking out from behind his helmet. Am I charmed by his mommasboyness? It is not a good feature for real boyfriends, but it is so sweet when imaginary boyfriends are mommasboys.

Also, ummm he has really great eyebrows. You know I had to mention it eventually, what with my eyebrow fetish and all. You can oogle Josh, his pixie nose, his pouty upper lip and his awesome eyebrows at this photo gallery. Unfortunately, you cannot judge his 'game' by looking at photos. I bet he totally takes eyebrow grooming tips from teammate Steve Mason, who has such rawkin' brows that he is a chairperson in my eyebrow club. Mase is adorable with his helmet on and with the crunchy-crunchy faces that he makes. Also - hello! He is the grown-up version of baby Steve Mason - who is a deadringer for my immaculate conception baby, the baby fathered by the essence of Pelletier, Bernier and Fullerton.

What are the odds of a team having two goalies with RAWKIN' eyebrows? Is it a Kitchener conspiracy?

Ugh as I type this Kitchener have lost in OT and are 1-2 for the round robin. I suck at picking lovers. Poor Unice, the puck went off his head, and the Bulls got a goal on the rebound when he was still discombobulated.

GOALIES in the QMJHL:
Ryan Mior
I had been wondering where Olympique's goaltender Ryan Mior would be playing University hockey next year. I was out facebook stalking (not stalking Mior - but someone else) when I came across Mior's profile which had him listed on the University of Ottawa Network. It would make sense for him to be there for his post QMJHL career since he is currently living in the region and probably already enrolled in classes there. However, he may not have actually been admitted to a University team yet. An article from canwest news services states "Ryan Mior, who set QMJHL records for games played by a goaltender and shutouts, is also finished playing junior hockey, perhaps moving on to university hockey." Key word -PERHAPS. Leaving me with nothing but speculation is no fun for me.

Antoine Tardif
According to L'Express, Antoine has had a successful surgery on his ankle. Doctors had originally speculated that he would have to stay off of the ankle for 6 weeks but when they went in for arthroscopic examination they determined that the source of his pain was due to one of his torn ligaments slipping between the ankle joints. Antoine should be back on his feet within the week. At least I think this is what they are saying - the article is in French and my French skills are shifty. What I do know is that my kisses did his ankle well. Now that I get a closer look at Antoine's brows they don't look that great in the center - he needs some grooming. He is out of the club.

Drummondville : Pelletier, Gougeon, Tardif and the goalie coach that rocks.
There is an interview with Drummondville goalie coach Marco Marciano in the Drummondville edition of L'Express. Marco worked with Gougeon and Pelletier last season, with Gougeon, Dupont and Dunnett this season, and will be helping Tardif and Dunnett along next season. Marco is proud of Gougeon's play in the finals and thinks that 'the Gouge' should do well despite being a toy goalie.

However, he is confused about why P-O's season went so wrong, and does not understand how it happened that Pier fell so far as to allow Yetman to steal the number one job in nets for Halifax come playoff time. When I say "fell so far" I mean, "not given a legitimate chance to play again" once Yeti was able to win a game (something he did not do, nor was he really given the chance to do, between Dec 27 and Feb 24). Which reminds me - we treated our 'tenders like shit!!!

Marco essentially said that you have to push P-O, as was done at the beginning of the 2006-07 season when Pier had a slow start coming off of injury, but once he is pumped up he will play excellently. After training camps with Detroit last year, and before coming to Halifax, P-O was apparently rocking it and Marco saw him as a potential AHL goalie for last season. He wishes P-O the best of luck for a future pro- career in the upcoming season. Me too P-O, me too. Coo.

Marco seems good, what with the fact that he is involved with Hockey Canada's development program - and he stresses the ability to handle the puck. You can read an older interview with him at the QMJHL website. He has worked with MAF, Houle, and my very own sweet sensitive Jonathan Bernier (in baby form).

Maybe P-O should go back to train with Marco this summer. He should also check in with a sports psychologist since it worked wonders for Mior. Trust me, it wasn't you P-O, it was 'us'. Lewiston's goaltending coach is also big on having a psychologist around to help out.

I don't talk about this a lot, but it was P-O's eyebrows themselves that inspired the eyebrow club - they are thick but they have the best arch. In fact, he is the silent co-owner of the club. He also inspires my weakness for pixie noses and pouty upper lips. Do I need more clubs?

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Alexander goaltending (where Travis Fullerton teaches and Jake Allen learns) has training videos available on you tube. Cute, Fully is teaching me his basic Fully tricks. Hmmmm but no Fully scuddle - shame.

Purrrrrr. Jr hockey is back tomorrow.

While I have my head all wrapped up in Olfactory lobe glia, I should try to keep my head all wrapped up in Olfactory lobe glia, and I should not be writing about Jr Hockey. Unfortunately, my head is not really wrapped up in olfactory lobe glia since a certain little goalie has burrowed into my brain, eaten away all of my interneurons and left me only with a direct connection between the photoreceptors, and the goalie ganglion - which synapses onto neurons directed back towards the tear ducts. Now he is there, all nested in my brain, nibbling on my glia as if it were marzipan and being all coo-worthy. I coo only for you sweet little goalie (pigeon dances ensue). As a result the neurons that remain are not being very saltatory today, sorry.

It all started when I told my girl N.B. that I was "totally over him", then I proceeded to tell a story (with sighing) about how the smell of hand moisturizer can linger and be transferred from hand to hand following a handshake. She pointed out that I was so not "over him", because when you are "over him" you stop telling stories about him. So true. When I realized how pitiful I am, I got stuck in one of my ruts. Like the ruts in the ice of his crease that he hates so much - such a fussy little goalie, that one. You would swear that he thought the other goalie was sabotaging his crease. How many period starts were delayed due to his fussing about the ice?

My rut was made exponentially deeper by the fact that neither Marty #2 nor Marty #3 have been returning my calls. I went home stuck in what boyfriend calls a "goalie-rut". He said "do not bring your goalie rut home to me". With whom can I share my goalie rut? - ohhhh the pain.

Then Marty#3 called me back last night, because I had finally given up on him. It is like how your ex- will call you when they find out you finally had a date with some other guy. They try to worm their way back in just to sabotage the whole deal and then they dump you again. I think Marty #3 is just being a tease. Goalies on the brain much? I even had a weird dream featuring Pascal Leclaire, my wee coo-worthy goalie, my friend Andy, and an evil island. Now that the IIHFs are done where am I going to get my live goalie fix?


Memorial Cup:
There is some brief pre- Memorial cup coverage in the Metro. Halifax is currently recovering from its bout of IIHF fever. It is like SARS for Hockey fans. When it is gone you wonder what all the fuss was about.

Schedule for Gatineau:
Friday May 16 -7:00et Rangers vs Olympiques
Monday May 19 - 7:00et Bulls vs Olympiques
Tuesday May 20 - 7:00et Chiefs vs Olympiques

You can also check out Memorial Cup previews at TSN or Sportsnet. Ugh, what is Stamkos doing there, he is not playing in the Memorial cup.

Dear Media
Please get Steven Stamkos out of my face for 3 seconds, K.
Love Q-girl


The NHL Draft:
The Saint John Sea Dogs have a feature on possible NHL first round draft pick Yann Sauve . Sauve makes me roll onto my back and purr - he skates so pretty (yeah, he skates pretty, that's it). Sauve is listed 29th for North American Skaters in the 2008 NHL draft. This means that Yann will likely go second round. Hmmm, NJ has the 21st pick so they are probably not going to choose Sauve - even though Marty needs Francophone friends on the team to keep him happy. Marty should be more "Jagr Diva' and demand more French players. What Marty wants, Marty gets.

Anyway, it does not help that there are so many defensemen in the draft this year, or that the Devils like to draft Americans, and that more than anything the Devils need offense. So while I would like him in a Devils uniform, and they would draft him only because he is pretty enough for their team, it is not likely that Yann Sauve will be going to NJ. If I had a second wish it would be Sauve to Columbus early in the second round. Actually now that I think about it, it seems mean to banish anyone to Columbus - is their such a thing as fun in Columbus?

Look at the top 30 draft list for North American goalies. Poulin is there. Do you ever get the feeling that D'Orso is totally getting the shaft?


QMJHL Trades:
According to the Telegraph Journal, we (the Mooseheads) do get some draft picks back from the Drummondville Voltigeurs for our trading of PJ Corsi. Apparently we get "third-, fourth- and seventh-round picks in 2008 and a fourth in 2009". Whew, that sounds a little better. Unfortunately, the team can only have two 16 year olds on the roster in any season. This makes me wonder about our Hockey farm - where we grow young hockey players into older hockey studs amongst our fertile poopy Moosedroppings. How old is Matt Snow now and do we still have his rights? I must get around to doing some snoopy-young-man-related-research. Some would call it internet stalking, but I only stalk goalies.
-update - nope Snow wants NCAA

Other:
The Telegraph Journal also have an interview with current Gatineau Olympiques Captain and former Moncton Wildcat, Jean-Philip Chabot.