gone dark

Yeah, sorry about that. At first I swore I would not blog until I had dealt with pressing real-life issues. Those were dealt with by last Wednesday so I really have no excuse for not blogging about the last two games in a timely manner. Needless to say, not having to write anything for a whole week was like a dreamy dream. Fuck the English language.

So, I guess I should get to it.

Mooseheads vs Montreal Jr (Moose lose 4-1)
Well, the first period was exciting. When the team allowed 4 goals in the second period I gave up on life. Sitting through the third period just felt like torture because of the sense of complete helplessness. It must be how my cat feels when I force her to cuddle me. I never want to experience that again. Can you do that for me my sweet, darling mooselets?

Cookies to Grant for the only goal in what felt like the longest stretch of goallessness in the history of hockey.  Cookies are for eating, not for hiding in your underware.


Mooseheads vs Screagles (Moose lose 2-0)
Despite the fact that the team were shutout, this game was decidedly less painful. Games against the Screagles are always delightful and scrappy...even when there is no actual scrapping. Cookies are to be shared between Bety and Bernard for coming out in this game with full force, and new goalie Delmas for decreasing my sense of hopelessness with his >0.9% sv%. There is a chance for you yet Delmas, but remember: cookies are for eating, not for hiding down your pants.

PS J.Bernard. We are soooo back on. I was going to give you a choice about it but then I realized we never talked...so how could you let me know? You can't!!! I have made an executive decision for us. If I catch you sexy dancing for Alex MacDonald I will rip his mullet weave out...unless, of course, I can have you both.

Mooseheads vs Wildcats (Moose lose 3-0)
In a homage to the loss of Baby LBD I did not pay attention to this game. How dare LBD leave me to go to Quebec? The only benefit of this move was our acquisition of Delmas...Oh, and the fact that LBD gets to work with Roy. I just don't think he was taking my feeling into consideration. ...and to think that I cooed for his wearing of white belts and shoes (yes, gentle readers, he goes all Frenchy style on us too). 

Twenty-five shots on goal and yet, nothing. I blame Nicola Riopel. He probably shouldn't be in this league.

Cookies go to me because I have a tendency to drown my sorrows in food.

Mooseheads vs Sagueneens (Moose win 5-1)
Ah now that is more like it. Randall's one timer was a thing of pure beauty. Who knew that anybody on this team could 'one-time' it. Sometimes, as a group of intelligent, deep thinking and gentle boys, my moosies spend far too much time coddling the puck with their stick and contemplating their next move. Pucks are for shooting, not for coddling... and definitely not for putting down your pants in an attempt to look like you have a bigger schlong.

Pucks were getting all up in the Sags' net. The Mooseheads had 5 goals (Randell, Bernard, Gelinas, MacDonald and Andrews) in 40 shots and boys were driving the net to get those rebounds.  Amazeballs. Why can't they do this every night?

It's as easy as that!

With the Sags came a return to winning and the second coming of Alexis Piette (the first, of course, being his visit with the Lewiston Maineiacs before being traded to the Sags at X-mas). At some point Alexis played an excellent game of keep-away, scooting around the entire perimeter of our zone with the puck, and at that moment I desperately wanted him back. It's not just for the eyebrows.

Cookies go to MacDonald and Bernard. MacDonald had his first goal as a Moosehead, which is always something to be celebrated with abundant overeating and a few beer. Of course I am terribly selfish and I demand more goals. Immediately if possible. Yes Jessyko, cookies are for storing in your pants but only if I can...

Mooseheads vs Voltigeurs (Moose win 2-1)
Bitches. The Volts stole Delmas' shutout with just over 3 minutes left in the game. Peter Delmas stopped 35 shots on his way to a win over the league powerhouse Drummondville Voltigeurs (33-13-0-2). It was brilliant.

Abeltshauser (big slapshot from the point) and Amyot both got their goals on the powerplay. Knotek, Bernard, Gelinas and Andrews had assists.

Jake Allen was in nets for the Volts, playing what was his 3rd game in  a row. Why they felt the need to play him against one of the worst teams in the league is beyond me? I was tempted to throw Allan off his game by holding up a big sign that just said "SILVER" on it, but I had no bristle board and I had not thought of this in advance of the game. It turns out that it was not necessary to be so mean and the Mooseheads could defeat the Volts without my help.

To say that the final three minutes was stressful is an understatement. The Moose had lost their 2 goal cushion and spent the last minute playing 6-4 after taking a penalty for too many men on the ice. The defensive effort was staggering and I was desperately hoping one of the boys could thoroughly crush the Volts' spirits with an empty net goal but everyone knows that empty net goals are really not part of the Mooseheads' skill set.

Dear Peter Delmas,
Congratulations on your QMJHL defensive player of the week award. In two games you recorded two wins and had a 1.0 GAA and a 0.964 sv%.  I would lick cookie crumbs off your taint for that. Please, don't tell your mother I offered... and for God's* sake don't tell my mother either. What do you mean, you don't read my blog? You should get on that boy!
xxxooo
Q-girl

News links
Palov - Another upset win for Moose

Wuest - Mooseheads pull off major upset 

* God = Martin Brodeur 

Fun with numbers

Halifax 3 - Gatineau 2 = 2 pts for the Mooseheads.

updates soon

Abducted

That game against Victoriaville last weekend never happened. I never wrote about it and thus it never happened. No cookies for anyone because it never happened.

Bullshit! I am nothing if not totally on the ball!


Last night the Mooseheads took on the Quebec Remparts at the Halifax Metro Centre and were defeated by a score of 4-2. The Moose had the Remparts on a tight leash until the third period when Stefanovich and Paquette were able to put two pucks past Corbeil to bring the score to 4-1. Jessyko Bernard scored for the Moose with less than 5 minutes left in the game but the Moose were unable to rally back to for a win...or less of a loss.

Points of order:

• 0/5 on the power play.WTF? It felt like the Moose were on a PP all night. Booo on the MF powerplay. The Remparts got one PP opportunity and they were able to take full advantage of it.
• Brunet was wearing 3. That #3 jersey is the biggest slut. It has been making its rounds through the team. It doesn't even have a nameplate...so no one knows its name. I see lots of (what look to be) little wanna-be hos at the Mooseheads game, but the # 3 jersey takes the cake. Look out Hannay, it appears to be targeting defencemen.
  
• I sat there and watched boys dawdle with the puck before shooting it on net. There was a failure with the quick release. Now, normally girls don't like quick release, but there are always exceptions, of which hockey is one. Jessyko displayed quick release skills on his onetimer. It got him a goal. It may also have gotten him more ice time in the last 5 minutes. Will he be stuck back on the 4th line tonight?  
• I mean, look at this sexy bastard - Why did we break up again?
  
• Hannay is so calm and smooth and dreamy and calm and smooth and dreamy and calm. You can call it slow, I will call it calm.  I like how he smiles when he is punching people in the face. You can call it sadistic, I will call it zen. Sadly, he didn't punch anyone on the face last night.  Read this story.
• Lemieux fought Savoie. Unlike Jessyko's goal it was the unsatisfying kind of quick.
• Some Quebec pussy refused to fight Metcalfe.
  
• Carl Gelinas was the 3rd star with a goal and an assist. Lemieux brought the puck to the net and Gelinas managed to lift it up and over Gagnon amidst a flurry of chaos.
  
• Corbeil flashed the leather and flashed the leather and flashed the leather. Props to trapper. Rawr. He is also taking more risks to corral the puck and stop the rebounds. 
• Desi fanned and fanned and fanned. Poor Desjardins.
  
• Knotek won 15 of 23 faceoffs. Pelletier won 6 of 7.
  
• I saw Garrett Clarke standing all alone, be-mohawked, be-suited and friendless. I wanted to keep him company (and fix his hair).
• Dimitruk and I had a moment in the first period when he cleared the puck out of the Moose zone, and despite resistance from the Remparts, managed to get it all the way into their zone. No one else gave me a moment like that moment (well, maybe Gillard with some defensive plays and Jessyko in the third period for coming back and looking like Jessyko and actually being visible out there) and so - cookies to Dimitruk...even though he was on the ice for that Paquette goal. Please share with Jessyko.
  

News links:
Wuest: Lineup: Remparts at Mooseheads
Wuest: Moose can't keep high-powered Remparts down
Palov: Mooseheads put up fight 
 


Is this enough? I have work to do and I haven't even had time to exercise in a week. Stupid work.

Just the facts

The Halifax Mooseheads took on Montreal in Montreal and came away with a point in a 4-3 shootout loss.

Lines:

Bahm, Bety,  Stoddard

Randell, Knotek, Grant

Lemieux, Andrews, Gelinas

Bernard, Pelletier, Desjardins

Metcalfe, Hannah

Amyot, Brunet

Dimitruk, Gillard

Costello was playing GQMF

About the Montreal JR:

Jake Allen was in nets for Mtl while my beloved David Stich was out with the flu.

The game:

Within the first minute Bahm got into a fight.

The Mooseheads had the first goal on 5 on 5 play - Dr Carlossis from Pelletier and Hannay

Speaking of Hannay:

 Is this not a face that everyones mother could love?

I think I am developing a problem. When you are 17 it is called a crush, when you are my age... it is called a problem. I think it's the joker smile. I am a sucker for joker smiles (see posts tagged Tomy Joly). I have to stay away from the CHL...or start watching the games blindfolded.

The Mooseheads then got their second goal on the PP. Knotek made a pass to Randell who had come in from the point. Randell shot and the puck was deflected in by Bahm. The Moose finished the first period with a 2-0 lead.

Early in the second Corbeil was suffering from technical difficulty (an injured hand) and needed to be tended to so Grondin was put into nets. Grondin allowed a goal (on 3 shots) and was then immediately taken out of the net. Before the end of the second both Gouchie and Chouinard also scored to bring the Montreal Jr into the lead 3-2. Damn ex-Screagel. Don't say I didn't warn you!

In the third period Knotek scored an unassisted goal on a breakaway to tie the game 3-3 and Corbeil made a huge save on a point blank shot by Parkes.

The game went into overtime and nothing happened but it was awesome because it means that the Moose would be guaranteed 1 point. Every point is precious.

Tomas Knotek was the only Mooseheads to get a point in the shootout. Really? Randell? Whatever you say Cam!

Knotek (Hfx) – scores

Trevor Parks (Mtl) – scores

Gerrad Grant (Hfx) – save

Matthew Brenton (Mtl) - save

Carl Gelinas (Hfx) – save

Guillaume Asselin (Mtl) – save

Travis Randell (Hfx) – save

Jeremie Gouchie (Mtl) – scores

Notes:

• I think I heard Bernard's name... once.
• How could I not give cookies to Bahm?  Am I on crack? Knotek MUST share.
• Both Knotek and Bahm received game stars. Knotek was 3rd star for 1 G, 1A, and one SOG. Bahm was 2nd star with 1 G,  and1 round of foxy boxing.
• Bety won 13 of 22 faceoffs
• Jake Allen faced 35 shots, Corbeil faced 32 shots (+ 3 for Grondin).

News links: 

Moose lose in shootout 

Video game highlights here.

____________________________________________

Hannay picture screencapped from SportsandMoore.com video

1,2,3,4 tell me that you love me more

After a 12 game losing streak the Halifax Mooseheads have come back with a four game winning home stand. Yes FOUR wins. Last night the Moose defeated the Baie Comeau Drakkar by a score of 4-1. Four wins, four goals and FOUR fights last night.

I don't want to write a big blog post. It is already too late for that. Newspapers have done their job.


Some small things:

• Konrad Abeltshauser and Garrett Clarke will each be out for over a week with knee injuries.
• If anyone else checks Gillard from behind again I will personally kill them. I can be far more vicious than Spencer Metcalfe. Ok that is a lie, but I bet you any money I can give that pretty little Olsson girl a hard bitch slap and make him her cry.
  
• Gerrad Grant needs to take his cloths off more often. May I suggest he not wear underarmour next time. Skinny is good. Girls like skinny, or at least they prefer skinny to over muscled meat-heads. Because Gerry couldn't follow up Friday night's 1G,1A performance with more goals he opted for fighting. It's like a Gordie Howe hat trick- but extended over 2 games.
  
• Goals were by Knotek, Bety and Gelinas (x2)
• Assists were by Bahm (x2), Stoddard, Andrews, Brunet, and Dimitruk
• Game stars were Gelinas (1), Bety (2), and Knotek (3)
• Mathieu Corbeil had another good performance making 32 saves on 33 shots for the win. The only Drakkar goal was on the power play.
• Fights were by Metcalfe (perfectly normal behavior), Hannay (take me now), Grant (what the?... oooooh striptease), and Gelinas (or dear God have mercy on his little face).
• Hannay has AMAZING eyebrows.
• I am not bitter about Stoddard anymore.
  

The team is currently participating in a giant orgy of verbal fellating. Everybody is sooooo in love with each other and that's what makes it OK (and no one is getting used- this is what we tell our moms).

I mean check out these quotes from the past two days:

Metcalfe on the team - “We were talking about it in the room, we needed to have a good start and we did. Everyone played solid and everyone was confident.”

Dimitruk on the team - “That’s a hell of a hockey team, the Moncton Wildcats. They’re probably one of the most complete teams we’ll see all year … And that’s a testament to our work ethic that we beat them.”

Dimitruk on Corbeil - “He’s playing unbelievable. He’s bailed us out time after time. We’re absolutely riding on his back right now. He’s playing fantastic and I can’t say enough about his work ethic.”

Randell on my skills with men - "That feels unbelievable"*
Corbeil concurs - "It feels great"

Bety on Corbeil - "We’re winning because we’re working hard and Mathieu is also really helping us. He’s been playing really well since last week. We’re all very happy for him. And when he is playing like that, it is more comfortable for the rest of us. He is a big (reason) we are winning right now."

Corbeil on team - "Everyone kept working hard and everyone’s really happy now".

Randell on Corbeil - "With the goaltending we’re getting from Matt, if he keeps it up we’re going to have a chance to win every single night no matter what."


Quotes stolen from the following news links:
Palov - Moose win fourth straight
Moose shock Wildcats

Wuest - Moose top Drakkar for fourth straight win
Herd keeps rolling with win over Wildcats

Other news:
Casey - Mooseheads make it a perfect homestand


* actually he was talking about winning 4 in a row.

Who are you?

The Mooseheads (last place) just defeated the Moncton Wildcats (7th overall) by a score of 2-1. Sure they couldn't get a puck in that empty net for the last minute of play thus leaving me hanging from a perpetual cliff of excitement for the final minute of play but who cares - they won.

three

I am also pretty sure that their penises all got about 3 inches longer. That is like 69 extra inches of dick. Absolutely amazing. No one can resist that.

Dimitruk, Grant and Corbeil (36 MF saves) get stars. Corbeil and Gelinas share cookies.

If this were America's next top Model, and I was Tyra Banks, I would make one of Garrett or Gerrad change their name. I keep interchanging them. It does not help that both of their surnames can double for first names (Clarke and Grant). It is just not appropriate. Maybe I will start calling Gerrad by the name Gerry...just like his mommy does. Will that clear up the confusion?

Updates (post edit)
There is a mystical connection between my bladder and the Mooseheads:
When I go to the bathroom they score. I don't know why. I am not planning on spending all of my game time in the bathroom, but it remains a possibility should the team start to play horribly.

The Key is defence:
...or at least 4 defencemen. Which was pretty much all the Mooseheads had last night. Abeltshauser hobbled off the ice after being knocked into his own net and ended up with a knee injury. Instead of kissing his knee better the ref decided to give him a 2 minute minor for hooking or holding. Moncton got their first and only goal as a result.

Down 1 Special K for the rest of the game.

Then early in the second Metcalfe gets a 15 minute penalty. This leaves 5 defencemen (7 were playing). At the end of the second Clarke got another 15 minutes. At some point Amyot, Dimitruk, Hannay and Gillard were the only defencemen. Despite this the team held on and did not allow Moncton to get back at our net. Hence why Dimitruk gets stars.

But why did Gelinas get cookies? He had only one shot on net, no hits and was overall may not have been a guy you noticed. But I noticed him. He was boppin' and weavin' and stickhandling and skating with much effort - always trying to get that puck in front of the net. He kept popping into my visual field saying "look at me" ...and I kept noticing. Besides, its my blog and if I want to give cookies to Gelinas just because I think he looks like a squirrel* then I can do so.

But he has to share with Corbeil and I hope nobody minds that I gave some raw cookie dough to Louis Domingue. I may have also let him clean the bowl...and the spoon...and the beaters...and sneak some chocolate chips from the package. What?

...because really - both goalies faced over 30 shots and the score was 2-1. Both were solid...as was the empty net. Damn that net really knows how to keep Randell off the score board. It's like it moves its posts or something. No goals on 3 empty net shots.

wars

10 minutes because refs lick ass:
Both Metcalfe and Clarke got scrappy. Both Metcalfe and Clarke got 5 for fighting and an additional 10 minutes ...because refs were punishing them for the balloon boy incident? Like dude, I don't know! Apparently Metcalfe was given an extra 10 minutes for a hand motion to pump up the crowd- a hand motion which was so subtle that I probably wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't wearing my glasses. Admittedly if I wasn't wearing my glasses I probably wouldn't have even know that was Metcalfe and may have confused the Mooseheads for the Minnesota Wild...so yeah, I'm blind. I also drink my beer with a straw. You got a problem with that?

This is bullshit. I enjoy showboating. Everybody enjoys showboating. Even when a player from the other team showboats I like it. The bigger the better. It makes them stand out and reminds me who I should hate (eg. ASShton Bernard using his imaginary bow and arrows). QMJHL hockey needs more showboating, not less.


News links:
Casey - Mooseheads win third straight
Palov - Moose shock Wildcats
Wuest - Lineup: Wildcats at Mooseheads
Wuest - Knee injuries sideline Mooseheads' top D-men
Wuest - Herd keeps rolling with win over Wildcats
Wuest - Mooseheads hope to capitalize on last weekend's success

* He does not look like a squirrel