Sunday, August 3, 2008

I am planning our dates. RAWR.

I did not realize that the AUS schedule was already released (look harder next time dumb ass). Now I must take the time to compare it to the Mooseheads schedule.

Travis Fullerton:
October 24 7:00 at Dalhousie
Moose play the Sags (lucky for Bobby he is no longer a Sag)
November 2 3:30 at St Mary's
Moose play the 'Piques (I will miss my date with Max Chubbycheeks!)
January 24 7:00 at Dalhousie
January 30 7:00 at St Mary's

While my dates with Bobby Nadeau are scheduled for:
Oct 3rd 7:00pm
Dec 30th 7:00pm
Jan 4th 4:00 pm
Feb 26th 7:00pm

Dear Travis,
People like you a lot, and I am one of those people. Did I mention how happy I was that you were going the AUS route? I hated the idea of giving you up ever so much. I think I must still mention you in every second blog post even if the post has nothing to do with you. I am elated (is that the word I am looking for?) that we will continue to have dates next season. I will thoroughly enjoy it even if all you are doing is sitting on the bench. My ovaries are already primed for October 24th.

So Fully, what will I wear? I have a pretty good idea idea what you will be wearing. Red, white and black is soooo sexy on guys. Oh my! Red,white and black -I think you are trying to make this difficult for me, what with the way you are testing my willpower and restraint. For that you deserve a spanking.

But the issue at hand is my wardrobe. Do I wear the titty dress, garters, and the 4 inch heel fuck-me boots? Do I bring the soft ropes? Jeans and a sweater will probably suffice and are the most logical choice for a cold hockey arena. I can still bring the soft ropes!

Truth be told, I am a smart sensible girl who likes the hockey more for the game than the boys (believe it or not). It is just that sometimes.....well.....some boys have that extra special something, that je ne sais quoi, that lure - the kavorka, and I just can't help myself. It is not my fault that I was born with ovaries and that you were born to throw your body all over the crease and wiggle in a funny way that makes my ovaries get all excited.

Oh, there it is! I thought of your cross-crease wiggle and my ovaries 'sploded. That led to me thinking about your strong chin *bite*, your pretty blue eyes, your neck with its line of freckles *lick*, your soft looking lips *mmm*, your jawline *nibble*, your long pretty fingers *oh my*, and your most likely delectable 6'1", slim, well-toned goalie body *sighs*. Is it true, what they say about Scotsmen?

If you will excuse me for a second I have something that I gotta do. It will only take me 10 minutes...maybe 20. Here, enjoy this picture of yourself looking hawt. No wait, I may need that!!!

God Damn!!! This is not healthy. Poor boy - I am sorry that my eyes and ovaries have decided to target you and that I feel the need to violate you with my words, among other things. The centromedial and lateral nuclei of my amygdala must have gotten rewired last season. The low guttural animal noises (it's like a purr/growl combo) start to emanate from my throat the very second I read your name. It is a new reflexive pathway: eyes ---> amygdala ---> straddling response + purr + drool.

Why d'ya have'ta go and make me feel like this? If you don't want this reaction from me you should just be a conservative butterfly goaltender who never plays the puck, and you most definitely should not play like this or this or this. Do you continue to do this to me 'cuz urrr naughty? Yeah, I thought as much *spank*!


Dates for which I will NOT feel the need to bring ropes, duct tape, a 30 pack of condoms, and two bottles of lube include:

Olivier Roy
Sept 20 7:00 pm
Nov 6 7:00pm
Jan 3rd 7:00pm
Feb 27 7:00pm

The Sea Dogs:
(note - bring cookies for Simon, Kirky and Keven)
Oct 30th 7:00pm
Nov 25 7:00pm
Feb 19 7:00pm
March 13 7:00pm

Timo Pielmeier:
Feb 21 7:00pm

Charles Lavigne:
Jan 23 7:00pm
Feb 22 4:00pm


wrap around curl said...

Don't forget to take whipped cream. Or whichever dessert topping is most to your liking.

Q-girl said...

I have a problem. I need AA - Adolescents Anonymous. I wrote that blog post and my brain has been stuck on Fullerton drive for at least the past 24 hours.

That being said - I think the boy might be tasty enough all on his own! No whipped cream needed.