Simon's quest

When Simon Despres was chosen to play for team Canada at the Memorial of Ivan Hlinka tournament, you just knew that he was going to immediately get a phone call from someone at the Saint John Newspaper the Telegraph Journal, and be forced to talk about it...and you KNOW that the Sea Dogs have already updated their website to brag about it. You also knew that being the crazy Simon lover that I am that I was going to post some of that story here in an attempt to make the whole world fall in love with him before they ever get to meet him. Don't worry, you will get to meet him next year at the NHL draft.


Here is a snippit from the Telegraph Journal article by Nathan White:

"I don't even realize I'm going to Europe tomorrow yet," Despres said by phone after being given the news and a bag of Team Canada apparel Tuesday evening. "I've never been overseas yet, I can't wait."

The six-foot-four, 210-pound rearguard said he started slowly when camp opened Saturday, but he felt he improved as camp went on.

"I didn't get to play with hitting competition in the summer (so) to get back into it was hard. "First practice, my skates were very sharp, I was always falling on the ice and my helmet was too small," said Despres, who prefers a duller skate blade. "I was questioning myself a little bit, but I knew it was going to come. I just played my game, a simple game, and didn't try to do too much."

...Team Canada head coach Bill Peters, who mans the bench for the Memorial Cup champion Spokane Chiefs of the WHL, has Despres penciled in as a top-four defenceman.

"He likes to join the rush and has offensive upside for sure. I consider him one of our defenceman who's going to play on the power play," Peters said. "I thought Simon got better as the week went along. He came in and was a big-body guy who moves really well and caught our attention right away."

Are you in love yet? He is 6'4", he is excited, he is falling down and he has a helmet that doesn't fit...these are the makings of the kind of boy you want to call your own and feed cookies to. There are more details available at the QMJHL website.

*edit - TSN has now begun their coverage of the Ivan Hlinka tournament. They have a video profiling the players. As of this moment I cannot get it to work, but the error may be fixed by TSN later today.

The 2008 NHL Draft Is Chock Full O' Defensemen.

I will be doing my Q update later, but I just had to come online to point out the following jailbait. Say meow to Yann Sauve (Saint John Sea Dogs), Zach Bogosian (Peterborough Petes), and Luke Schenn (Kelowna Rockets). QMJHL, OHL and WHL - it's little something for everyone. You can thank me later.

Andrew Bodnarchuk with Providence Bruins

According to Wuest, Bodnarchuk is already in Providence practicing with the team for their Calder cup run. It is unknown whether he will actually play with the team, but with a 9 man defensive squad it seems unlikely. You can check out the press release from the Bruins here.

Bodnarchuk bitchfaces in our general direction. He is a real playa now.

Goalie thoughts - Yes I have been drinking

Oh how I love defense. This explains how in the Q, the Saint John Sea Dogs managed to charm me right out of my undies while my Mooseheads boyfriends watched in horror. It explains why I love the NJ Devils, why I find the Blue Jackets charming, and explains why I am currently supporting Dallas and their shiny young but effective Ds in the west (despite my feeling that a Sharks cup and prizes for JR are long overdue). Let’s also not forget how Marty #3 has puck- handled his way into my heart. Mmmmmm shut down hockey can lay me down and cover me in whipped cream any day.

Detroit and their sage like older Ds I can also live with. I am pretty sure that man evolved from Chris Chelios. He makes Niedermayer look like a total pussy - yes Pussymayer. I said it, I can't unsay it. Detroit feels so age appropriate - but Hasek (bless his crickedy old bones) has been around since the golden age of the Egyptians. I have seen his hieroglyphs on their tombs. He has to go. I would feel differently if he could make it through a whole year- but he can not. Hopefully his usurpment by Osgood during these playoffs is a sign of things to come. There are young, fresh, beautiful goalies waiting in the wings (or waiting for another tryout) and they more than deserve a chance. I wonder if the cheesy old-school full face-cage helmets are a requirement in Detroit. This could explain why no younger guys are playing there. Their sense of style just will not allow such an affront to their established fashion sensibilities.

I also wonder if this Jimmy Howard kid from Detroit will ever move up. His name just isn’t goalie sexy enough. Now you know why Tim Thomas took so many years to make it – it’s all in a name, it has nothing to do with that weak five-hole. Hey don’t diss my theory. If Cam Russell can coach by telling the boys to shave their beards, then I can scout by name.

I have been amazed by Halak (currently watching and judging him in game 4) after he came in to replace Price (2 days ago), who has been falling asleep on the job. Price looks the same when he is asleep, awake, happy or disappointed. I saw him sitting on the bench being ‘disappointed’ about his game and I just wanted to play with his face, you know, to see if it could make other expressions. Also I just want to touch goalie faces, they always try to hide them from me behind their fancy masks. Anyway, I am supposed to be talking about Halak – here is a boy who clearly loves to move the puck. Why have I not been paying attention to Halak? Is it the backup thing. I was not even following Montreal all that much last year when he had considerable ice time due to Huet’s injury. When he played in the Q (Lewiston) I was not obsessively following the Q, I knew my team and that was all I cared to know. I was not a frequent flyer.

I am attempting to broaden my horizons. I used to focus in on one goalie but now I want to watch them all, learn all of their quirks. I want to talk to them, know how they tick…it is as if they are a separate species and, well, I am a very curious scientist. I am blowing my load just thinking about the idea that at least 16 professional goalies from around the world will be in my town by the end of the week. If I breathe the same air will I somehow become more special? Can I absorb their magic? I should have a sign around my neck – “free goalie counseling”. How about "Kisses to absorb your pain"?

What about the Moose?

All a girl wants is a good puckhandling goaltender – a very good puck handling goaltender, a slick smooth sexy puckhandling goaltender. I wish we had more puck handling this year. P-O could do it, Yeti could not, but P-O did not do it so much as the year progressed, possibly because he was told not to. I do not think it is actually possible to handle the puck less than Yeti does.

P-O was hated by fans in Mid -October, I would have hated to be him – here for less than a month and getting raked over the coals for some pretty good performances and some bad performances, but considering the team in front of him!!! He can’t make up for how the rest of the team plays – as for that PEI game…well…you know. I am afraid of bringing a new goalie here, I feel bad for them. You are not going to get perfection from a Q goalie. I think our fans were too harsh, too soon. No goalie could have saved this year’s team, and no goalie could have mentally handled this town’s shitty treatment. The downfall of this 2007-2008 team does not lie in its goaltending. Maybe the way the goaltending situation was handled by coaching staff from day one could have been better – to create two happy and mentally healthy and confident tenders, but I would not look back at this team and lay the blame at the feet of our tenders. In fact I would not even lay the blame in their general vicinity.

That being said, I personally do not like the style taught by Dallaire. If Kennedy and Yetman are a product of Dallaire’s training technique then may I quite simply say thanks, but no thanks. Yeti can play the game but I do not like his style. He is, and I hate to say this because I do like him (i have grown attached), a terribly boring goalie to watch.

Furthermore, what if a goalie comes in with a different style, are they forced to play a style to which they are not accustomed. What if they cannot buy into what Dallaire is selling? Is he capable of adjusting to the individual goalie and their needs? What happened to P-O after a couple of weeks with Dallaire? Why did things just get worse as the year wore on? Isn’t it funny that Yetman became better with Pelletier’s help, after not improving under Dallaire alone? As I have said before, I would love to sit down with my goalies and chat over a few beer.

Ugh, did I just see a girl in a pink Philly jersey. 'Bitch, please' indeed. I am still angry, and today is totally a 'bitch, please' kinda day.

Mooseheads vs Olympiques: Game 1. Meh.

The Gatineau Olympiques defeated the Halifax Mooseheads 2-1 in overtime. There I got that off of my chest. You can read Wuest' s game blog at the Metro. I am ready for game two. I don’t think Gatineau outplayed us, but I also do not think that the Moose gave their hardest fought effort. Maybe it is just that both teams are really rusty from being off for more than a week and they were also testing out the waters, since we have only faced each other twice this season.

The three stars were Byron, Giroux and Yetmen who had a 0.94 save %.

Gatineau opened the scoring at 8:28 into the second with a goal by Byron from Pistilli and Giroux. Pistilli sounds delicious; I assume it contains pine nuts and wild mushrooms in a cream sauce with port. Voracek responded for the Mooseheads ten minutes later with a goal on the powerplay. Then I had to sit there and watch as we did nothing 5 on 5 for the rest of regulation except throw the puck to the side of the net. Byron finished us off in OT.

If you think the things I say about Travis Fullerton are bad, you are lucky that I don’t say what I think about the Moose goalies – so nuzzley sweet. My feelings for P-O can be likened to Michael’s crush on the Chair Model in a recent episode of the office. It is just that sad. There was a feature on the goalies in this week’s team program and this, of course, got me sooo excited that my Lady balls dropped.

Neither the Mooseheads nor Gatineau forwards actually wasted their time challenging the goalies – 33 vs 36 shots in 74:15 minutes of play. I think Yeti was challenged by the forwards moreso than Ryan Mior. Gatineau had a couple of breakaway chances that Yeti handled with aplomb. Thank the Gods for Yeti. So while Yeti faced only a few more shots than Mior, they were more dangerous shots. I don’t know how many times our forwards missed the net. Mior must wear a puck repelling cologne or he is a very lucky bitch.

I must give credit to the Ds for keeping the puck away from the net. Go defense go. More specifically go O’MacMonabonaenderchuk. I am not saying Go Go Gatineau Ds - I would not do that. Our defense helped with killing off a full 4 powerplays and kept that squirrely Giroux away from the net. Now all we have to do is try to avoid falling down in OT followed by standing around in shock as Byron skates by with the puck, gets into our zone all alone, comes face to face with Yeti, and gets a goal. It made Andrew White so angry that Byron stole his move (except Byron went glove side on Yeti, not blocker side like White did with Roy) that he tried to smash his stick on the boards right in front of me.

Hooray for me. I managed to resist stealing Claude Giroux and putting him in my pocket and taking him home. I secretly love him and I want to keep him in a cage with a wheel. I promise I will give him fresh food and water everyday. He is growing a little goatee thing. Awwww he thinks he is men. Clermont is pretty adorable too, such chubby little cheeks. I am also an orange junkie, which means that while I don’t really like his pads because they are gaudy and I like white pads, I still kinda like his pads. The orange is a bold choice. Did I mention his chubby cheeks?

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news links:
Gatineau wins Game One.

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Special message to Carey Price:
What the fuck Carey!!! I don't just love you because you are pretty, I mean it helps, but come-on guy - pull it together. You got a shut out with a big pimple on your nose, and yet when you look good - nothing. 10 goals against in two games. You and Fully are up in the same abysmal tree. Get out of that tree, back onto the ice, and play like you have never played in your life.

Kisses to the Ds

No Moose I do not hate you. I love you. How many times do I have to say this? I love you through good and bad. You are so sensitive. You are such a negative nelly...and I love you even though you are such a negative nelly. Why must we fight about the same things over and over? Do the D disappoint? Hell yes, but I only get angry because you are letting P-O and Yetty/Yeti down and you make them look bad.

Everybody knows I love my Ds more than I love my forwards. This is why the hierarchy of my heart goes: 1) Goalies, 2) Defencemen, 3) Forwards. Always has, always will.

Must I individually kiss each and every one of you? Fine, here goes:

Kisses to Ben MacAskill - My girl A.N. loves you. Indiana Jones style writing 27 on her eyelids kind of love- because you are smart. When you are trying to clear the puck from the zone, stop trying to calculate velocities and angles in your head....just shoot it out ASAP. Sometimes you do this very well while other times you think too hard. As a scientist may I be the first to point out to you that thinking is for chumps. Also thank you for game 7 vs Moncton in last years playoffs. You really showed Sniderman and his stupid Spiderman mask who is boss. The answer is us, we are boss.

Kisses to Guillaume Monast - Don't you just hate how the announcer at the arena calls you Jee-oam? Please be kinder to P-O, he appears to be your best friend on the team and the two of you are so 'up in a tree'. Can I be up in that tree with the two of you? When you are mean to P-O, you are mean to me. Everybody gets hurt. I will have to invent a new kind of skate blade for you, one that pucks cannot deflect off of. I like you on the PP, I like your shot from the point. I like you a lot Jee-oam. A lot!!! Enough to want to get drunk on wine with you and then climb a tree. It is a good thing you are of legal drinking age. I secretly love you. Don't tell Graham Bona, he gets so jealous.

Kisses to Gabriel O'Connor - You are a scrappy little thing. Sometimes I think the other boys are afraid to look at you when you are on the bench because you have big funny hair. They will not look because they are afraid they will laugh at your hair and crush your confidence. Please see PJ Corsi for styling tips. Please avoid Bryce Swan for styling tips. Actually while you are at it could you please tell Bryce to see PJ for styling tips and tell him Q-girl says do not wear a striped tie, with a striped shirt, with a striped suit, and a handlebar moustache.

Kisses to Andrew Bodnarchuk - I do not know what to say captain - I met your aunt at a game once, she seemed nice. Please remember to act like the captain and please remember to pay attention to the goalies as they are technically the eyes in the back of your head. You are speedy and everyone loves you, at least enough to make you captain of our team, captain of the QMJHL team in the Canada Russia challenge, to give you an invite to the World Jr try-outs camp, and to name you top offensive defenseman in the Eastern division of the Q. That being said I think we need some more defensive defenseman out of you. We have enough offense. I will give you extra kisses and a good nuzzle if you can do that for me.

Kisses to Justin........Pender - Do you talk, or do you just say Justin........Pender? I know you can sing the moose theme song and you can shout the word score. How exciting for you. Have you been taught more words? Thank you for fighting Denis Reul and for making him bleed. Thank you also for your hard shot.

Kisses to Graham Bona - Graham you are my lovable oaf, you are my big teddy bear. But do you know how to close your mouth? You are rocking a very serious Jessica Simpson face 95% of the time. I secretly love you. Do not tell Steve Lund.



Kisses to Steve Lund way up in the press box - We have already openly established that I love Lund, and this is despite the fact that he sings in a band and I hate musicians. It must be some serious love for me to overlook the 'in a band' thing. My girl C.G. loves Steve the most, and my girl N.B. wants to steal him from C.G. Girls love Steve Lund. Is it because Steve is funny, talkative, and goofy in life as well as dramatic on the ice? When Lund is on the ice a girl pays attention. He can draw a good penalty as well as he can take a bad penalty...it is just too bad that he is broken. Very broken.

Kisses to Richard Greer also up in the press box - I will love you more when you get older and bigger and play some more games. At your age our relationship is very inappropriate, so maybe you shouldn't tell your parents about us....shhhhhh OK?

Kisses to new kid RD Chisholm who is also sitting around up in the sky above my head and wearing a fancy suit - Chisholm, see what I said to Greer, except don't tell your parents or Greer or Bona about us. Bona gives me the silent treatment when he sees how I look at other defensemen, and he is such a jealous little bitch around me when Sauve comes to town.


God, and you thought the fans were hard to please.

Forgiviness Please. Forgiviness Granted.

Oh Moose
You are so lucky that I have no self-esteem or sense of self-worth. If I had any sense of self-worth I would have gotten out of this relationship in December. But here I am. I felt bad for getting so angry with you and I couldn’t sleep. In fact, it was so bad that I felt downright ill. I left my puppy curled up at the foot of the bed and came down to check on you while you dreamt. You looked so cute, all 19 of you curled up on the sofa. I got to smell P-O’s hair while he slept, and in the helplessness of sleep he couldn’t poke me with a stick to keep me away. Awww, you are forgiven.

It’s true, the loss was all my fault. I never should have told you to play dirty. I put too much pressure on you and I shouldn’t have. Do you forgive me? I have made you a big, hearty breakfast and the percolations are imminent. Today is a whole new day, and Moncton is a whole new game. I wonder if Pelletier needs hugs. Coo.

I'll make you an offer P-O. Lets run away together to the deep woods and farm large mushrooms which we will fashion into modernist Smurf houses complete with mini Eero Aarnio reproductions carved from root vegetables. You can practice deflecting fast-flying woodsprites that come in near the low blocker side, and you can do it in peace and without pressure or criticism.

That being said, I am still angry with the coaching staff.

While we were fighting here is what happened around the Q:
SNL 2 Lew 1 - Stars go to Pielmeier, Brennan, and Bernier

BaC 4 Sha 8 - Maletto gets the win. Cousineau let in 4 of 11 and got the hook at 16:14.

Que 2 Chi 6 - Desfosses allowed 6 in 29 for a 0.79 sv%. Bobby Nadeau gets the win but only faced 16 shots.

Rim 6 Gat 5 OT - Ryan Mior allowed 6 on 28. The first star was Squirrels Giroux with 2 goals, 2 assists. The bad weather this weekend should mean bad news for squirrels, they don’t like the rain.

Rou 3 VdO 2 - Gougeon 2/34, D’Orso 3/30 (with 6 dangerous shots) and Gougeon gets the 1^st star.

Vic 3 Dru 7 - Legault got the loss, and Vic’s Ds gave up 19 shots in the first 18 minutes with Legault allowing 4 before Poulin took over. Dunnett gets the win for Drummondville

I feel better knowing that Cousineau let in 4 of 11 in 16:14. Does that make you feel better P-O?

I have created a photo montage of our Ds. If someone can create better robotic versions of these boys to replace the real ones it would be greatly appreciated. I will need them before 4:00 Atlantic time today.

There are theoretically easy goings against Moncton and PEI to come, so if the Moose have their heads in it they should be able to bounce back… but you never know with this team.

Saint John has a harder go of it with two back-to-back games against CB. Rational Q-girl stays in Halifax and does not follow Fullerton in a desperate hunt for goalie. If I could magically snag a ride to either of Moncton or CB I would take it. I have discovered that the Sea Dogs jersey auction did not end yet (I can’t keep track of months)….so obsession with getting a Fullerton jersey creeps back into my mind. Dirty.

Sorry Lewy, we should never have let the Titan win.

Here are the current Eastern Conference standings:
Halifax 83
Saint John 82
Cape Breton 80
Acadie-Bathurst 78
Lewiston 76
St John’s 72
PEI 59
Moncton 56

Because we let Perreault get 3 points, and Squirrels got into the pantry and tore it apart looking for eggs, potato and peanuts, the points race now looks like this:

Perreault, Mathieu (Bat) - 107
Claude Giroux (Gat) - 102
Francis Paré (Chi) - 97
Jakub Voracek (Hal) - 97
Dean Ouellet (Cap) - 93

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Willie Palov article concerning the QMJHL smarty pants award.

The QMJHL website has begun its series of articles with interviews from candidates for the Marcel-Robert Trophy starting with Robert Slaney of the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles

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Marty and Patrik love me for today at least