Friday, April 17, 2009

A perfect opportunity for sexual harassment

Hey kittens and cats, or should I say chumps and chumpetts... it all depends on how you feel today. Do you feel like a feisty kitten or a sullen chumpette? I am keeping all of my bases covered. Today is a free for all. Is there anything I will not discuss?

Moose news:
Three Mooseheads: Gabriel O'Connor, Gabriel Desjardins and Scott MacDonald will be on hand tomorrow, Saturday April 18th, at the Metro Centre for the FREE public skate to support KidSport and to honour former Mooseheads scout Donnie Matheson. The skate will be held from 10:00 to 11:00. You must go in order to tell Gabriel the 1st (ranked #180 on NHL Central scoutings draft list) that you think he is totally studmuffinly enough for the NHL. That chiseled jaw was made to play for the Devils.

There is no other Mooseheads news to know. BORING. Perhaps it will fill your Moose quotient if you hear that former Mooseheads Logan MacMillan (Rimouski) and Guillaume Monast (Quebec) are still in the race for the Prezzie Cup. Other than that I suspect we will have to wait for the draft before we get any significant news. OK. I'll wait.

Oh speaking of the Devils:

NahNahNahNah Nah Nah. About a month ago all the sports reporters were climbing up the Devils ass making themselves a comfy home nestled in Lou's bowels. By the end of season they were all like Devils who? Maggie the Monkey and I know what is what! Is it unfortunate that I must liken myself to something less than a simian? Not really. It could be worse - I could be likening myself to a man.

It can't hurt that I have sworn to watch all Devils games bra-less, in my "J' aime des guardiens de but" t-shirt with BRODEUR emblazoned across the back, accompanied only by skimpy lace undies and thigh high socks. THIS is my game watching outfit. No, I don't have a picture that I can send to you. It keeps my boyfriend from tuning into the Rangers vs Washington series - for that I would wear sweats or something else equally unpleasant.

The Devils defeated Carolina by a score of 4-1. Husband Marty almost had a shutout...almost. As everyone celebrated and happily skated off the ice I watched Sutter sullenly skuddle off the bench and I wondered if he felt bad for his son's loss. Is he ever happy?

Furthermore, I wondered if the Cam Ward dick sucking festivities can end now? No need for a deepthroating parade on Ward's schlong - he doesn't deserve it.

Anyway, the point of the story is :

Sutter actually does know how to smile

Boys and their Benjamins:
Former Chicoutimi Sagueneen Francis Pare has earned himself a contract with the Detroit Red Wings after a year with their AHL affiliate the Grand Rapid Griffins. So has Rimouski's Sebastien Piche. Drummondville's Dany Masse has gotten himself hooked up with the Montreal Canadiens. Can hookers and blow be far behind?

Give Cookies to:
Simon Despres (defence, Saint John Sea Dogs) is the only QMJHL player representing Canada in the IIHF under 18 tournament. Boy was even named an alternate captain. I know I am late on this, and we are already at the semi-finals but what the hey - it is never too late until it is too late (tell that to my imaginary lovers).

Now, not to be a whining baby who thinks that the East are somehow on par with the rest of Canada but... why the fuck aren't the East on par with the rest of Canada? Maybe the rest of Canada are just elitist bastards. Do you get a warm tingly feeling when you use your perceived inferiority to justify your "everyone else" bashing too?


"Dave Schultz" said...

I can take over Ward dick-sucking activities if need be. Jussayin.

Q-girl said...

Bah...die tempty young goalies die!

I am fine with Ward as long as he is NOT facing off against my beloved Debils. As it were I will allow you to be a one woman train for Ward.

Jenn Casey said...

But Lamoriello is still creepy as fuck.

Q-girl said...

Ahhh Jenn, but give Lou a penny and he will go out and fetch you a quality no-name defenceman. He may also give you a Werther's Original and a pat on the head in return.