Moose vs Tigres: Game 6. Done + Done, Done and Done

Well the Moose finished off the Tigres 7-0

Cape Breton defeated the MAINEiacs 2-1 in OT. Murdock MacLellan (the name and face can't get more Caper than ol' Murd here) scored the game winner. Jon looked crushed. Bernier faced 39 shots while Roy only faced 18. Don't worry Jon its not your fault, blame your offense. Do you need a hug? Would you like cookies? Would you prefer motor oil? Jon is going to cry his little eyes out tonight. Poor little robot Jonathan Bernier, and poor me. I will likely never see Jonathan in the flesh ever again. I am also going to go cry my little eyes out tonight. If only the Lewy bus would drive through town and stop overnight, that way Jon and I could hold each other and cry.

This means round two is a battle of Nova Scotia. Maybe I can travel home to see some games. My mother will love me. I will tell her I have gone home to visit her.

Acadie-Bathurst Titan defeated the St. John’s Fog Devils 4-3 and thus round two will feature a battle of New Brunswick as the Titan take on the Sea Dogs (I am having Travis Fullerton withdrawl... Fully I NEED you).

Last but not least the Remparts have defeated Chicoutimi 3-1 to take the series and Quebec will go on to face Gatineau. Let’s hope they do not try any dirty tricks on Ryan Mior.

MOOSEHEADS get a shutout

I mean, sure Yeti only faced 12 shots but a shutout is a shutout. This is Mark Yetman's third shutout. His first being Feb 2007, when we defeated the Volts and my sweet beautiful P-O Pelletier 4-0 (ouch P-O). The second was in the playoffs last year against Moncton. I think that by the third period we were not even trying to get goals any more. We were being merciful on the Tigre.

I cannot believe this team beat us twice. God, what were we doing in those two games. Cam went with the same lines from Saturday’s game and they worked pretty well for us the second time around. Should I have gone out drinking tonight…is that what the boys are doing? I would be drinking if I were them. I would also be drinking if I were Victo. P-O was so 'up in a tree' with Cacciotti (a former Volt) and Cliche, yak yak yak, hug hug hug. Why is he 'up in a tree' with everybody but me? This is so not fair. He is probably out at The Bitter End being 'up in a tree' with Guillaume Monast, PJ Corsi and Steven Cacciotti right now.

Have I mentioned yet that I love Pier's hands? He is all perfect with his huge hands and long pretty fingers. The things you could do with those hands.

Bryce and PJ should get free drinks tonight because each boy had two goals and PJ was awarded first stars.

Travis Randell looks like an old man, which is why I am going to call him ol’ man Randell from now on. What is with the extensive facial hair…he only just turned 17. I thought it was weird that he had chest hair when he was 15-16 (a picture on facebook told me so), but he grows a better beard than Mark Yetman who is 19. Yeti’s hair is all on his neck.

Graham Bona gets his kisses for being so absolutely huge and hulking and also for being a +4. GrahamBo has been waiting forever to be my D of the day…and today is his day. Maybe I will invite him for a cuddle, I have a large blanket...he is frickin' huge. I cannot mountaineer a boy that big.

That was totally non-informative…but I have had beers, what did you expect? That is why you get a picture extravaganza instead.

Wuest can tell you what happened in the game. Let's just say Poulin gave me a little sexy goalie rage and Victoriaville played goalie-go-round again.

more news:
"Eagels soar past MAINEiacs"

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The Q announced its all star teams

Wuest is not happy that Voracek is second-team

Knotek, O. Roy, and Despres got rookie props while Voracek, Perreault and Squirrels Giroux got older boy props.

Moose vs Tigres: Game 5

Hooray for our win. The Moose totally dominated and we did not give up any short handed goals. Whenever we give up a short handed goal on the PP it actually acts to negate any one individual goal we got on our PP. So even if we have between 22-25 % success on the PP, part of that is actually negated by the SHG we give up. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

Randell and Louis-Seize finally got to be involved in some playoff hockey

Justin Pender (the Pender Bender) had what I believe may have been his third unassisted goal (?). Newfies do it solo (just ask Yetty/Yeti). So now that Justin has shown that he can hit the net does this mean he can get some more PP time…maybe on the point? In the past four games Justin has almost doubled his goal production from the regular season, during which time he had 4 goals. I was hoping for a Newf dominant game with goals or assists by White and Randell as well. The Newfs were supposed to get goals and then we would all gather round and sing "Between two trees". Unfortunately, the White/ Randell/ Knotek line was not as productive as I would have liked. It is nothing against Tomas Knotek, but I do not like White with Knotek. My gut tells me that they do not work together...maybe they can prove my gut wrong.

Either John Moore or the color commentator said that “everybody wants to play with Andrew White”. This is because Andrew made them cupcakes (I told you the cupcakes would work). It is true. Even I like to play with Andrew White. This is why I have a little Andrew White voodoo doll which I hold to my bosom, and sometimes I play hockey with it. I use my Whitey voodoo to put the puck in the net. When I am done I feed my Whitey cookie crumbs, and then hold it to my bosom again.

Things that make me happy include 1) Eric Louis-Seize finally getting to play a playoff game. 2) Swan getting back into the game…even if he is on the fourth line. Sometimes he is on the ice, but he is not really playing. I actually like him with some combo of Eric or David. I like the super tough guy line. Unfortunately this puts Marchand with Hillier and Corsi...and I do not like that line combo. We have too many damn centers. 3) Jake finally realizing that he is not Samson, and that cutting his hair actually should not affect his game…it is all mental you silly little girl. 4) Yeti’s multi-minute showdown with the puck as it sat all alone in the faceoff circle to his left. He just hunkered down and did a stare-down with the puck. “Listen puck – I don’t like you and you don’t like me. We need a compromise. You promise to stay away from my net and I promise…. ”. I also am glad that Yeti can adapt later in the game despite normally being weak to start. 5) Voracek, Pridham and MacMillan together at last. 6) Guillaume was a +4 for this game. Thus I had to return the (-3) kisses I had previously taken away and I had to give him an extra kiss.

Kevin Poulin is a rag doll. Does he get tired by the third if he plays a full game where he is actually facing shots? His lower body would move into position but his upper body just appears to flop around. Poor boy. Get him to the Gatorade sports institute fast. They will say, you are losing too many ions, may I suggest you drink some Gatorade. I wonder why they have such a sports institute when the solution is always just “drink Gatorade”.

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Quebec vs Chicoutimi

I read the following comment attributed to Martel and laughed.

“De manière sarcastique, Richard Martel a indiqué qu'une sanction juste, dans le cas de Jonathan Roy, aurait été de le forcer à garder les buts des Remparts.”

Essentially he is saying a better punishment would have been to force the Remparts to keep Roy in nets. Indeed that would have been much better.

News articles from around the Q:
Titan vs Fog Devils: "The series is only going to get tougher"
"Titan Regain Control in Opening Round Series"

Baie-Comeau Drakkar: "Early Exit Stings former Wildcat"

Mooseheads: "Moose find way out of Tigres' Trap"
"Looking for Consistency"

Eagles:"Eagles Return Home, Looking to Advance"
"Eagles look to oust MAINEiacs tonight"
"Series shift back to Cape Breton"

Goodbye Marc-André Dorion and the Baie Comeau Drakkar

Holy crap... the Drakkar are out and my secret boyfriend Keven Veilleux of the Rimouski Oceanic (formerly of the Victoriaville Tigres) is totally mostly to blame with his 2 goals and 2 assists. The Drakkar have lost tonight's game 5-2 and the series 4-1. All the defense in the world could not help them in the face of offense...and to think we wanted Lessard. I guess defense does not always win championships. Oh my, I can't believe that those words could even be typed by my fingers because I am a total whore for defense . The team that ended the regular season with 96 points goes out in 5 games to a team with only 67 points. Rimouski will be moving on and facing the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies in the second round of the QMJHL playoffs.

AND THE MOOSEHEADS WON. I caught the first two periods before a work related pot luck tore me away from my computer - and we were up 5-2. By the end it was 7-2. Justin Pender got another goal, and then Jake finally started to get things going by the end of the second. But the big name of the night was kindred spirit Colby Pridham with 3 goals and an assist- excuse me while I go rub myself with potatoes. I will have more to say later, I need to watch the third before I use my stumpy fingers to type more words. For now satisfy yourself with a picture of Colby Pridham, a ref (ugh) and some Tigres.

Sigh, it is almost as if we were there.

Marc-André Dorion is a smarty pants

Marc-André Dorion of the Baie-Comeau Drakkar is another nominee for the Marcel-Robert Trophy. An interview with Marc-André can now be found at the QMJHL website


I was this close to Dorion and yet I did not manage to suck any of the power out of his brains. He needs that power to pull his team out of a rut and outplay the Oceanic, who are currently destroying his number two ranked Drakkar 3 games to 1. Ouch. Oh and did I mention that Dorion is awesome at hockey, and he has the added bonus of being a defenseman, and next to goalies, defensemen are so very rowrrrr. He finished this season second in the league (for defensemen) in points with 59 pts, 16 goals + 43 assists. However, what makes him more excellently defensey than the #1 defenseman Jason Demers, is that Dorion finished the season a +23 while Demers was a -6.

I needed his brain power to finish my graduate work so I can get the hell outta dodge, maybe move to Mannheim and start to love the Mannheim Eagles. Their goalie is also a Pelletier, and during the NHL lockout they had HueT playing in their nets. Last I heard Mannheim had lost two games in their playoffs and one of those losses came after 6 overtimes, the game went until 2am or some crazy shit like that. I think Cologne have already put them in the ground. I hope the Moose do not suffer a similar fate just as quickly.

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In QMJHL news the Gatineau Olympiques have eliminated the Shawinigan Cataractes and their toy goalie Kevin Maletto (he is small- like a toy poodle) and thus Squirrels and friends get to move on in the playoffs to meet an as of yet undecided contender.

The MAINEiacs are still in it. They defeated the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles 5-2. The Eagles were invigorated by a late goal but then the MAINEiacs had to go and get an empty net goal in the final minutes of the game to cement the win and Crush the spirit of the Eagles. The Spirit crushing is the most important part of any hockey game.

The Acadia-Bathurst Titan also managed to crush the St. John's Fog Devils in what was likely the Devils final game in St. John's EVER. Poor, poor Devils fans. Tomy Joly had 4 goals. His parents must be so proud. I bet his dad has an " I fathered Tomy Joly" T-shirt. Who wants an " I fathered Tomy Joly" shirt? I would wear one - I like his Joker smile. Final Decision 7-2. Ouch.

Last but not least Quebec faced off against Chicoutimi in Chicoutimi and the Sagueneens won 7-1. Every game but the first game in this series has been a blowout. It is crazy. The Sags started Lévesque in nets for this game. There was an interview with Bobby Nadeau on TSN (or maybe it was sportsnet) this morning. He basically said that he has not been watching TV to avoid seeing himself being beaten up, and he gave his side of the story. There is an interview with RDS - good old RDS covers everything. Why doesn't English media cover Q hockey - damn them. See the video in the section Hockey/LHJMQ titled "Nadeau est ébranlé". He is so 'lover not a fighter" material. Rowwrrrr. I hope the Sags take this series, then Bobby can get over it and start to play some good ol' puck stopping games again. He needs to clear his head. I should sit him down for milk, cookies and a good talk. I hope he can speak English because my French sucks. This is why I need to make friends with French goalies- to improve my conversational French. Yeah, that's it.

Moose vs Tigres: Game 4. Think good thoughts

The moose have lost again, this time in a 3-2 decision for Victoriaville. Justin Pender and Colby Pridham got us our goals. Justin Friggin Pender - unassisted. This is who is getting our goals. No diss on Justin, Justin has a nice hard shot and if he can use that shot and actually hit the net then all the more power too him. The fact that Justin got our goal is more a diss to everybody else on the team, you know the guys who are supposed to score goals...what are those guys called again, oh yeah FORWARDS.

Then we go and give up another short handed goal. What is our record for giving up short handed goals? It feels like we do it every game. Sorry Jake but you are just not getting it done. When we pull Yeti and we put six guys on the ice maybe we should put on 4 forwards, 2 defensemen. Guys in charge of keeping the puck in the opponents zone can be placed on the blue line- we don't call them blue liners for nothing. Marchand, when we have a power play you are supposed to put the puck towards the net or towards a guy in the slot - stop putting it back into the corners behind the net. No one scores from there, well OK maybe Vinnie LaCavalier can score from there but we have no Vinnie's on our team.

What was up with our faceoff? 30% or thereabouts - really? Really? We had no control over the puck- none. It is like the puck was sprayed with moose repellent. According to a pest control website -"The presence of droppings, tracks, and the location of the damage caused by moose is unmistakable". Unmistakable- Hell yeah, only we could fuck up like this.

Guillaume -3!!! I know you are trying to make up for the loss of Bodnarchuk and that it means you are probably having more shifts and are thus tired but to be on the ice for all three goals against. Damn. Remember those kisses I gave you after game two? Well I take them back. Yes I can do that.

White - where were you? This is when we need you most. If you can't do this why should I continue to love you. We all know I am not fond of forwards, you must work hard to get my love and work hard to keep it. I saw you trolling around in front of the net a couple of times and no one was willing to pass the puck to you. I am sorry that you are not able to convince the other boys to play with you. Bake them cupcakes if that is what it will take for them to give you the damn puck...or go out there and get it yourself.

Oh Yeti, let's cuddle. Coo. Can I run my fingers through your hair? Yes, good! I know the team are mean to you. You are getting it done so why can't they? It was one of those strange games where the other team had more shots than us. I know that is strange!!! You faced over 20 dangerous shots and came out with a 0.935 save %. I am proud of you. Nuzzle. Can P-O join us in our cuddling? Oh goodie, let's all get under this big blanket. No, put your hand here...that's better.

Sometimes people blame you - my sweet goalies, for all the hard times, and sometimes you boys do have bad games, but you have most of those bad games because the team puts you in the position to have bad games. The way you are breathing in my ear is kinda turning me on. Ohhh. Anyway, we are not a team built for our strength on the back end, we are top heavy and have big ol' titties. When those titties are just flopping around braless things get sore and they can really hurt our collective backs. Do you get what I am saying sweet goalies? Yes, you can rest your head nuzzled into my neck. You guys smell good, here have some cookies. No, P-O you cannot share you cookie with Guillaume! Forget about Guillaume. Oh Yeti, you are so soft and warm. Shouldn't we be discussing the game? Let's cuddle tighter, mmmm tighter. There is an elbow in my back...Oh Pier, you are all arms and legs. Coo. God, you guys smell soooo good. Can I smell your hair, Pier? Yes, really!!! No, I love you more!!! Yeah that was me breathing on the back of your neck and that was indeed my tongue. Sorry, sometimes I get carried away. What? Don't stop - OK then. Nibbles. Whose hand is....oh my.

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Sometimes I think the Moose hate me more than the NJ Devils hate me. The Devils are how many points behind Pittsburgh, and are now tied with the Rangers . ARRRRHHHHHH. I am beginning to believe my love is a curse.


I must think good thoughts:

• Pelletier's smile
• Freckles on Fullerton's neck that I want to play connect the dots with.
• PEI gets swept by the Dogs
• Titan suspensions
• Spa days with Steve Mason
• Jonathan Bernier sitting on people
• Carey Price's forearms
• Martin Biron's eyes and trash-talking ways
• Brodeur's diving saves.
• a goalie's fluffy pre-game hair

Two down...

So two teams are in and two teams are out. I have already mentioned that the Saint John sea Dogs have used a sexy goalie, a smart blond French kid, a saucy boy from Sydney and some awesome eyebrow power to defeat the PEI Rocket, but I did not mention that Rouyn-Noranda have swept the Val d’Or Foreurs. This leaves Maxime Sauve free to join me for spa days and girling about town. What fun times.

I have made a bad photoshop image of what a Rouyn-Noranda/Val d’Or game would look like. Where PJ Corsi would have been I have put in Cote. Nothing is more amusing than absolutely horrid photoshop work…no wait…everything is more amusing than absolutely horrid photoshop work. Just ignore the fact that Cote is huge and also ignore all the people wearing Mooseheads jerseys in the background. Now forget that Val d'Or ever existed because for our purposes they have just become irrelevant. This is the last you will see of them or of D'Orso and his crazy eyebrows and douchey chinstrap beard. What? Gougeon has even doucheier facial hair? Damn.

The Mooseheads played the fool last night, losing 3-1 to the Victoriaville Tigres despite Victo having lost two of their top forwards – Tanguay and Cacciotti. The Moose are so Jekyll and Hyde. Did you see that BBC program Jekyll? That show was great. I do not like it so much, however, when the Moose play Mr Hyde. Not only that but our top defenseman Andrew Bodnarchuk has been suspended for tonight’s game due to a hit to the head on one of the Tigres. Everybody knows Andrew is way too short to hit anyone in the head.

Maybe the loss of Andrew B. means we will be more cautious and play a safer game. Not only that but Cam Russell has finally taken to penalizing the players by sitting them out for a couple of shifts for doing stupid things like taking selfish penalties. It is maybe a little too late for that…maybe he should have started doing this to players in …I don’t know….let’s say Sept/Oct. I am as bewildered as the next Moosefan.

I have no idea how tonight’s game is going to go down. Will the forwards show up? Maybe tonight Yeti will wear new cologne and the defensemen will be all aroused and distracted. I do not want to be in the same situation the Titan are in right now and having to play a third game away from home with the series tied 2-2. The simple fact that we outscored this team 17 -3 in our first two games means that we can be a totally dominating team when we want to be. It is just that sometimes we are thinking about girls and spring flowers and new wardrobes and what is going to happen on “Days of our Lives” or who will be kicked out next on America's Next Top Model; or if we are Bryce Swan we are thinking about milk and mini-pizzas (don’t ask)…we will never know. I wanted this done in 4, I will settle for this being done in 5. I will start throwing feces like a rabid monkey or an angry hamster if this goes to 6. Not that I mind getting some more games at home…it is just…well isn’t it obvious.

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Elsewhere:

Cape Breton are leading Lewiston 3 games to 1. Jonathan Bernier has still not shaven off the stupid moustache. Game photos can bee seen at Ron ‘s Sports Photography site. Jon is also getting all scrappy again and sitting on people. Jon says “if you want to be in my crease bitch - you can stay in my crease. I am never going to let you leave. I will sit on you, I will mock fuck you, I will push you down and make you lick the paint”. Please, people stay the hell out of Jon’s crease. For an example of how mean Jon can be see around 2:08:20 in Wednesday night’s archived game when Chouinard ends up in Bernier’s crease.

The Titan are tied 2-2 in their series with the Fog Devils. Game three is in Newfoundland and the Devils maintain their home ice advantage and hopefully their little hot streak. Q-girl does not want to be mean to the Titan, but the Titan scare the shit out of me, so the sooner they go the better. The Moose can beat the Titan, but the Titan use Jedi Mind Trix on the Moose to make them think that they cannot beat the Titan….which is why we always lose to the Titan; and sometimes when the Titan and the people of Bathurst combine their Mind Trix then the Titan blow us out of the water. To say I would rather the Moose face the Fog Devils is an understatement. Sure the extensive travel will be grueling (especially two series in a row) but we have Pender and Yetman and White and Randell to act as ambassadors and sometimes translators to the good people of NFLD.

What Roy did totally got into the head of Nadeau. Quebec are now leading Chicoutimi in the series 3 games to 1. Bobby has been pulled within the first period of the last two games: once for letting in 3/10 and the next game for letting in 2/4.

Rimouski is leading Baie Comeau 2-1. Damn and snap. If I had to face anyone in the finals I would have preferred BC. We have had no problems at all with BC this year. You throw a few rabid squirrels at Cousineau and he cowers in his net like a baby. He is terrified of squirrels....or at least I presume – someone please throw a squirrel at him just to test my theory. Now we have the Moose arch nemesis (and my secret lover) Keven Veilleux teaching the people of BC valuable lessons about the weaknesses of some of their players. I know he is a Penguin draft pick – and so if and when he actually makes the Penguins I will dump him like the sleazy MF that he is. I really, really, hate the Penguins despite actually loving real penguins.

Gatineau is currently leading Shawinigan 3-1. This never would have happened if Roger Kennedy had not left the Cataractes for his own selfish purposes. Oh no wait, what I meant to say was that the children of Shawinigan would not get hit by cars because they would have seen public service announcements about crosswalk safety starring Roger Kennedy, had Roger Kennedy not left for his own selfish purposes. That has nothing to do with his play in nets. I hope no children are hit by cars this playoff season. I hope they do not see Claude Giroux in their town, mistake him for a squirrel and run out into the street hoping to catch him all for the purpose of throwing him at Marco Cousineau like I had requested. Although if the children of Shawinigan do that, and take squirrels home and keep him in a little cage until they can use him as a targeted rodent missile against Cousineau, then maybe their team may actually stand a chance of winning.

Sea Dogs Sweep the Rocket

...and I bet they are happy- very happy. Hooray for the Sea Dogs. Just don't tell the Mooseheads I said that. We are currently losing to the Tigre 2-1 in the third.

Tigre Hunting in la Belle province

Moose will be playing the Tigre tonight at 7:30 eastern time (8:30 Atlantic time). According to Wuest the Tigre have lost forward Maxime Tanguay for the rest of the series due to a hamstring injury. However previously injured Steven Cacciotti who missed the first two games of the playoffs should be back in the game tonight. Once again Kevin Poulin is expected to start in nets for the Tigres.

In other Mooseheads news you can check these articles from the Herald:
Moose take show on road

and the Metro:
Mooseheads' Killers dominate
Moose look to finish off Tigres
which I particularly like because they interview Yetty/Yeti and the Booing is mentioned:

"While fans are watching via webcast, there isn’t as much intense scrutiny on the road — and there is no risk of being booed, which has been known to happen in Moose Country.

“We’re just a bit looser,” Yetman said. “We can play our game.”

...and so to all the assholes who spent the entire year insulting our goalies and booing our goalies, did you ever think that every time these boys step on the ice they have that nagging fear in the back of their head that says "is today the day I get booed?" Do you not think it affects their performance?

As of right now the Fog devils are winning 5-1 after the second. Go Fog Devils. Champion let in 5 goals in just over 20 minutes but we all know there was no way in hell the Titan were going to pull him and put Szostak in. Has Szostak even ever played a game in the Q? I think the only game Champion has not played since he took over as the Titan starter was a game in which they called up Brad Dyke. I know what you are thinking, you are thinking "who the hell is Szostak?" - exactly. Even Lewiston was kind enough to play Rafuse because they are smart enough to know that the guy sitting on the bench is supposed to be used for something...and not just decoration, or to be thrown into the net in the event of injury to your #1 (Champion is technically #2), in which case he may be incredibly rusty after 3 months on a bench.

Saint John is currently leading PEI 5-2. I have finally seen Fully in all of his dyed hair and beard glory. David Connell has posted pictures from the Sea Dogs awards night. Fully has Biron eyes - so very blue. I think 90 % of the Sea Dogs have blue eyes, and Simon has the best eyebrows I have ever seen. I am running away with Simon Despres, Steve Mason, Maxime Sauve, Zach Boychuk and Antoine Tardif for a spa day and eyebrow styling session, then Mason will show us which is the best lipgloss shade for our skin tones. Steve Mason totally uses lip gloss. Then we will retire for a sleepover party with a horror film, hot chocolate, pillow fights and the first girl to fall asleep will get her bra put in the freezer, oops I mean boy- and jock strap.

Keep an eye out for robots

It is a damn good thing that Lewiston and St John' s got back into the game. I was beginning to think the Eastern division playoffs were going to get a bit dull there. I had a crazy night of hockey watching. Sea Dogs vs PEI Rocket and during the intermission I caught the end of the Titan vs Fog Devils game, then back to Sea Dogs/Rocket. I topped it off by watching the last period of Cape Breton /Lewiston.

Champion was a total machine in the last 8 minutes of the third. It was insane. I suddenly, totally respect him. He does not play like that in Halifax. The cross crease save was phenomenal. Is that what playoff hockey can do to a boy? He was everywhere!!! Sure the 20 minutes prior to that when he let in 5 straight goals was not so amazing....but I did not see that part of the game. I can't believe the Fog Devils came back from a 4-0 deficit beginning at the halfway mark of the game and managed to get the game winning goal with only 0.7 seconds left. Crazy. Final score: 6-5

In the MAINEiacs vs Eagles game Jon was a total machine as well. A smooth, well greased machine that made 36 saves. Perhaps when he got home to Lewiston he found his razer and shaved off that stupid moustache. Final Score: 2-1 Lewiston.

The Rocket vs Sea Dogs game was mired by penalties. It seemed to last forever. So many 5 on 3's. Poor goalies. Fully was lit up in the third during a string of successive Sea Dogs penalties. The Dogs have to be careful not to get so many stupid penalties (unsportsmanlike) because they have that stupid little PK problem. PEI had an awesome PK in the second. It felt like they were on almost 10 straight minutes of PK with three 5 on 3's. The Rocket PK was mostly due to the strength of LaFleur. The dogs had 12 PP, and PEI had 8 PPs, but overall PEI had 46 Pim and the Sea Dogs had 42 Pim. Final score:6-4 Sea Dogs.

Angry Bryce = Excellent Bryce

Bryce Swan was named the CHL player of the week for scoring 5 goals and getting two assists in the first two games of the Halifax Moosehead's 2008 playoff run. Bryce is Anaheim's 2006 second round draft pick.Anaheim has sworn that they will not give him a contract until he learns to dress himself. Dressing in all stripes, like Shannon Slaughter, or in your sister's ballet tights is just not considered acceptable attire for an NHL caliber player.

Happy 20th birthday Bobby Nadeau...here is your public humiliation.

I love how the Q constantly fucks up the details on things.

Lengthy suspensions have been handed out to Remparts players:

• Jonathan Roy gets a 7 game suspension (bring on Audette) for his attack on Bobby Nadeau and for flipping off the Chicoutimi fans.
• Maxime Lacroix gets 3 games for hittin' a bitch while he is down
• Marc-Olivier Vallerand also gets two games for looking innocent but acting like a jerk.

and Sags players:

• Sébastien Rioux is out for 6 games for the ultimate sin - leaving the penalty box and getting back into the fight to attack baby Roy.
• Antoine Roussel gets a one game suspension for instigating
• Charles-Antoine Messier gets two games

and both of the coaches were suspended too. Fines abound.

...but here is the catch - according to the Q website they say

" Quebec Remparts goaltender Jonathan Roy is suspended seven games and receives a $500 fine for his assault on the opposing goaltender, Ryan Mior, as well as for the inappropriate gestures which he aimed at the crowd at the Georges-Vézina Centre during last Saturday’s game."

...but baby Roy did not attack Ryan Mior, he went after Bobby Nadeau. HELLO Q, am I the only one with this obsessive knowledge of your goalies...there are not that many to keep track of (not even if you count ALL the goalies for the Titan)...so why can't you keep track of them.

Now this reference to a hit on Mior is more like it, if you had actually identified it as being a hit on Mior:

"Shawinigan Cataractes winger Tommy Tremblay is hit with a six-game suspension for a bodycheck he administered to the opposing goaltender during last Saturday night’s game. "

While both Ryan and Bobby are 20, both are good little goalies, and both are reasonably attractive - they are not the same man. Dear Q - please remember that this is Ryan Mior and this is Bobby Nadeau. If it helps - Ryan is the heavier one with the funny Newf accent and with the little squirrel friend who plays for Gatineau, and Bobby is the French one in Chicoutimi. Is it clear yet?

But don't worry, that beatdown was just baby Roy's way of saying happy 20th birthday Bobby Nadeau. Yeah, Bobby turned 20 just this past Sunday. Why do birthdays always suck like that - "I turned 20 and for my birthday I get to sit idly by as the whole world watches me get beaten up by Patrick Roy's kid." Poor Bobby Nadeau.

I will kiss you better Mr. Nadeau. If you get traded to Halifax next year as a 20 year old I can give you those kisses and we can totally make you suck your way to oblivion. Do you want to end your Jr career on a low note - then come to Halifax - WE BREAK GOALIES.

Some other things to point out:
Olivier Roy (the good goalie with the surname of Roy who plays for the Eagles) had his very first playoff shutout this past weekend when the Eagles faced the Lewiston MAINEiacs. In all the fuss about the MAINEiacs losing 2 of 2, getting shut out, and Jonathan Bernier getting no assistance from his boys while simultaneously being stymied by his own evil moustache - I forgot about the Super Boy doing all that shutting out. This is Olivier's 5th shutout this season. He ended the season with a 2.87 GAA, the 7th best in the league, which is totally awesome for a rookie. Olivier has also just won the Raymond-Lagacé Trophy as the League’s top defensive rookie.


Saint John vs PEI - Game 1:
You are next Fully...I have so much to say about your first playoff game because you were rusty as hell in the first and second. I think I saw only one fancy save, and that was in the third - thank the Hockey Gods that you were able to pull up your socks if for no other reason than for 'looking smooth' and impressing me. They totally should have played you in the game against Halifax to prevent rust. Now scuddle over here in that cute little way that you scuddle across the crease...we have to talk. Why did Robert Mayer dye his hair back to blond leaving you and Passingham to look like the only freaks on your team with black hair? Will Passy fold too? It is time to disown Mayer from your goalie friend circle? What a traitor!!! Moose have black hair - you can join our team. However be forewarned - you might lose your power and start to suck...it always helps your confidence when we boo you as the people of Halifax often do. Junior goalies shouldn't let in soft goals, it's not like this is a development league or anything. Do you want a healthy dose of Booooooooo?

What, they don't booo you in Saint John? They treat you well even when you play poorly? They say thank you Fully, they say thank you for trying? They even thank Mayer when he loses...they thank him for trying? Passy too? Wow, Saint John are so sweet.

I will see you tonight . rowwwwrrr.

Oh and while you are in PEI tell 'big pimpin' Lafleur that he looked pretty good in the first, sharp even despite the two goals. He actually looked better than you....and did I see a little touch of goalie rage, an unpenalized slash on one of your Dogs. Ohhh Lafleur is scrappy. Then kick him for me since he is the one who ran Ryan Mior out of town.

Pier-Olivier Pelletier:
I actually wish I had something to say to you, but I have nothing because you are not playing...you are just sitting on the bench looking pretty. Sometimes I look at you on the bench and I sigh because you are pretty, but I would really prefer that you had your little mask on and that you were standing in some blue paint. Sigh.

Today my girl C.G. said that you were not the prettiest thing on the earth and that I should get over it - so I had to think about that one for a second. I thought of my boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriends; I thought of some actors, some singers, some other boys I have met in my life, and then I thought of some hockey players: Vermette, Fisher, Theodore, Brodeur, Pretty Ricky, Price, Latendresse. hmmmmm. My conclusion: yep, you are indeed the prettiest boy I have ever laid my eyes on in my whole life. Sigh. How can you live with such immense levels of pretty? Now how is that for a confidence booster!!! Thank you for letting me know you exist and for making the world a prettier place. Sigh.

Happy Zombie Jesus Day

Here are Pier-Olivier Pelletier and Andrew White discussing what they are going to get me for Easter. They think I deserve a little something for being such an obsessively loyal and devoted fan. Awww, you guys are too sweet. Winning is gift enough. Coo. It's just too bad that I do not celebrate Christian holidays. At least it feels like spring has finally sprung (it will probably snow tomorrow). Mating season is soon to follow. Dear little Moose: Don't do what JS Giguere did and crash cars while chick spotting. I want a lengthy playoff run with all of my Moose staying healthy.

Kisses and a feast of chocolate bunnies
Q-girl

Give cookies to Keven Guérette-Charland

Keven is the Saint John Sea Dogs' nominee for the Marcel-Robert Trophy. You can read an interview with Keven at the QMJHL site. Then you can preheat the oven because this boy deserves freshly baked cookies. Plus Charland had a goal and an assist tonight (just like our #22) - so he gets extra chocolate chips in his cookies.

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There were more total and complete blowouts in the Q tonight. Who knew it was going to go down like that? Look at the Moose double-digiting all over Victoriaville. Victo was playing goalie-go-round - and we all know that GGR never ends well. However, Victo are dirty so they totally deserve any spankings we are able to hand out. Victo are all elbows everywhere- they have so many arms with so many elbows it is as if they are the Vishnu of hockey teams. What a bunch of dirty bastards and yet they get 6 penalties and we get 9 . Go figure. The penalties last night (or lack thereof) were a total joke as well. If I must say so though- hooray for our awesome PP tonight - 3/6. It's all OK until somebody gets hurt, and then I will demand Victo blood (more blood).

The stats around the Q were crazy tonight : 3 shutouts and 4 blowouts (unless you also want to consider Saint John vs PEI a blowout, I would say no)

Lew 0 Cap 3
PEI 3 SNB 7
SNL 4 Bat 5
Vic 1 Hal 11

Rim 3 BaC 0
VdO 0 Rou 9
Que 1 Chi 10
Sha 3 Gat 9

As for baby Roy - well check it out on TSN. There is a video link and everything. Poor, fancy, best GAA in the league, Bobby Nadeau. He is a lover, not a fighter. I only condone goalie fights when both goalies want to fight, but not when one boy suddenly goes batshit crazy, skates all the way down the ice and attacks the other goalie while he is just standing around at his net. There were 118 penalty minutes handed out this game - and check out the number of penalties in second period. How were there even unpenalized players available to play the game?

You know what I have noticed - Telus division teams are dirty. When Quebec was here they were dirty, Rimouski was also dirty, Victoriaville - dirty. I missed Chicoutimi (work X-mas party, but hockey would have been more fun) but I bet they were dirty too.

There were too many Moose to love tonight so if I have to choose one boy to kiss well then -
Kisses to Guillaume (two goals from a defenseman). Hugs to MacMillan for almost singlehandedly killing what felt like 2 minutes of a 4 minute double minor, and for being a +5 with 1 goal, 2 assists and a star. I am also blowing kisses to P-O for being so cheerful and smiley despite having to keep his ass parked on the bench.

Moose vs Tigres: Game 1

Here is our hero of the night, Mr William Bryce Swan of Alder Point Nova Scotia- holder of first stars, maker of hat tricks and inspirer of hat throwing (and nobody ever throws hats for tricks in our arena- so 3 hats thrown is a motherfucking landslide). Bryce is trolling around in front of the net. This is an act which pretty much guarantees goals.

I fear for White because now that he is on the Marchand line he is in a situation where he will be facing more hits and getting more attention from defenseman. Despite this White still managed to pull out a goal (the only guy not from line 3 to get a goal) and had a pretty excellent chance for another goal. I have some video so I may start a youtube account and link to it. However, when all the attention is on lines one and two it allows line three to really step it up. It is obvious that the boys of line three are no slouchers and combine for an awesome 191 points during the regular season, so it is good albeit foolish for our opponents to have forgotten about them. Go line 3. whoot.

Bryce's third goal chased Poulin from the nets and he was replaced by Legault very early in the second period. Legault was much stronger in nets allowing only 1 on 17 shots and he did fancy things like this:
...and there is Swan again. Dear God Bryce you were a royal pain in the ass last night weren't you. I know you are sad that no one believed in you all year and you are especially sad that Q-girl dumped your ass for Andrew White, but ask yourself - were you happy with your performance in the regular season? You would have brief moments of brilliance and then the next shift you would fade into the background again. I don't want you to fail- I never wanted you to fail. I loved you. Heck two years running you were my favorite guy on the team. But I suffered through three bad months of emotional abuse from you at the beginning of the season before I had that affair with White. You broke my heart Bryce Swan...so please remember that - You Broke My Heart...and now suddenly you return my call...my call from January. I am so over it, but I wish you luck in all your future endeavours. Boys from Cape Breton are so very good at breaking hearts.

Then we have our unsung heroes - the boys in the pressbox. I must add this picture because it whiffs of Steve Lund and I miss Steve so much. I am amazed that I can recognize the boys from this distance. From left to right: Louis-Seize, Randell, Greer, Chisholm, Lund. Louis Seize was our only blond french boy and he lost his blond - Q-girl weeps silently - but I bet his blue eyes suddenly look much more awesome - Q-girl smiles.
Sea Dogs:
I have not watched the game yet - maybe this afternoon when I am done blogging I will watch it while I work out. However, pictures of the sea dogs Monte Carlo night are now available. They all have little bow ties on - too cute. I was right about Fully, you can dress him up but you probably wouldn't want to take him out. What I do notice about these pictures is that he has the prettiest eyelashes (this is not the first time I have noticed this but it reaffirms my previous thoughts on the issue) and he has long pretty fingers just like P-O. Yeti on the other hand has stumpy fingers like me. Fully is all long fingers, strong chin, pretty eyes and lovely wonky smiles - we just have to do something about the hair and eyebrows.

If I hooked up with Fully we could make pretty eyelash babies, because I also have ginormous lashes; but if I hooked up with Yeti/Yetty we could make stumpy finger babies. That being said I do not want to hook up with anyone for the purpose of making babies - I strongly dislike babies. I just sometimes think in genetic terms - wow if we mixed my eyelash genes with your eyelash genes our baby could have eyelashes big enough to destroy the earth - and other silly stuff like that.

On the issue of what the hell Fully did with his moustache when he dyed his hair black - well apparently the 'stache followed suit. Now, I am not a laugh out loud kind of person - but when I saw that he dyed his moustache black to match his hair, I really did laugh out loud. I can't wait to see him without the mask. Oh how I love Fully. Then my boyfriend said "You know, you probably wouldn't like him in real life, right?", to which I replied "shut up".

Orgy with Bryce Swan

I told you that hat tricks will get you luck with the ladies. Bryce Swan prepare for sexy times. You just became incredibly good looking.

A message to Jonathan Bernier:
Holy motherfucker Jon- a handlebar moustache really, really?- no wonder you got pulled. Yeah you heard me right, Jonathan Bernier has a handlebar moustache. What the hell Jon? Fully is allowed to have a 'stache, but you are my fresh looking clean shaven goalie. SHAVE. My mother will not like that. Isn't Clendenning a total pain in the ass? I KNOW!!! Well if you feel bad take a good look at Joey Haddad's hair. UGLY. What the hell CB? Shaved tops + mullett and sideburns. What the hell kind of hair is that?

Now back to hockey:
And I thought our game was exciting. We are supposed to be the most offensively powerful team and Victoriaville is the shittiest team (worse than PEI even) and yet check this out. Who is the offensive powerhouse now?:
Halifax vs Victoriaville 6:2
Cape Breton vs Lewiston 8:3
Saint John vs PEI 10:4
Acadie Bathurst vs St John's 15:10 and counting (3 minutes left in the game: except the numbers on QMJHL keep changing, there seem to be less goals now 8:5 what is going on QMJHL site?....we will update later)

Holy shit Champion , Holy Shit Pielmeier. What has happened here? Was there a single game in the East which did not result in at least one goalie being pulled?
More things about hockey and not hair or moustaches - plus pictures later+++

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NHL news:
Why do the Islanders own the Devils?

Slow on Props

The QMJHL has announced its players of the month.
I will give you three pictures and you can guess which one is offensive, defensive and rookie player of the month. It feels so good to have an excuse to post pictures of goalies.

It is just over two hours until the game and I am not feeling so good.

There are a number of new news stories posted for the Sea Dogs, the Titan, and the Eagles.

Sea Dogs:

• The boys have purchased fancy new suits to match their fancy new hair. Be prepared for a good laugh.
• But should they be worried about their lack of playoff experience?....and will they be spurned on by their overtime loss to PEI at their last meeting?
• My dear God the people of Saint John are pumped for a playoff run, could they have more news about their team in the paper?

Titan:
All Perreault wants is Presidents cup championship ring to call his own.

Eagles:
...and then there is Eagles news. Will my family at home be catching an exciting game tonight? Hell yes. Then my mom will approach Jon and ask him why he has not married me yet? Mind your own damn business mom. Jon will then tell her I am a whore and I get it on with all the goalies. He would be right. This is why he almost fought with Fullerton back on Feb 1st. If I won the game worn Fullerton jersey I would be at home right now examining it for tiny residual moustache hairs.

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Just a little note - one small thing I noticed. When P-O was playing here in October, his ring was on his left hand, then by the Devils game (Dec 16th) it was on his right hand. It was still on his right hand during the Titan game on Feb 9th (the nasty, nasty game with the goalie go-round) but by the Lewiston game (March 12) there was no ring. So which one is the marriage ring finger (I am not a normal girl I do not know this)? I am just saying, but he is only 20 - so I hope not, and yet if this was the case I would say - what kind of damn fool is this boy - he is only 20. Speculation about the personal lives of strangers is nothing but crazy-person fun.

Plus if he was supposed to marry anybody it was supposed to be Q-girl. I promised him my love with a gift of POP-Rocks. POP-Rocks are forever. I would marry P-O but fuck around with Fully and Price, and continue to receive gifts from and date Jon, all the while obsessively calling and stalking Martys #1, #2 and #3.

I have a sneaking suspicion that "Hal/Mac" never gave the lovely-beautiful Mr. Pier-Olivier Pelletier his POP-Rocks and that "Hal/Mac" probably ate those POP-Rocks himself. When I see his roomate's girlfriend and Ben MacAskill lover, the lovely Ms. A.N. who is standing me up for Saturday's game (and now I am stuck with an extra $16.00 ticket that is going to go to waste) - I will tell her to punch "Hal/Mac" in the face, and then punch herself in the face for standing me up and making me waste $16.00.

Everybody wants to be like Q-girl

I must say it is rather flattering. Last Saturday, I went dark....some would call it a nice brunette. It makes my blue eyes pop. Then I find out that Travis Fullerton and Robert Mayer of the Sea Dogs went dark. I did not figure it was a homage to me and my new do. But now I find out the Mooseheads have gone dark for the playoffs too. I am a inspirational hair maven. Yeah, I am just that cool.
See the new hair in an interview with hometown boys Hillier, Marchand and Bodnarchuk in the Coast. Bods is looking BAD (in the first picture; in the second pic he looks like a doofus..sorry Bods its sad but true). Here is a link to the article.

Game worn jerseys...when you play good

Maniacal laughter. If I had a game worn jersey I would lay it down on my bed, caress it gently with my hands and coo "oh my, it's sooooo big"....because goalie jerseys are the biggest jerseys of them all.

Don't look at me like that. I would be bidding on Yetty and Pelletier Jerseys if we had such an auction. I bought tickets for the Yetman game worn jersey draw close to Christmas but I did not win.
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Moose
I just wanted to let you know that you got this all wrong:


It should be - When you play good, you look good.

What is hot:
Assists/Goals
Battles on the boards
Shots from the slot
Getting the rebound
Big saves (you will get love from me)
Little saves (you will get more love from me)
Big hits
Winning faceoffs
Fights
Clearing the puck
Backchecking
Bigger hits
Hat tricks
Hard work
Keeping it simple
Winning

Any of the above (especially hat tricks), if done correctly, will get you loving from girls.

News and Hype and more News

Eagles vs MAINEiacs:
Here is a little article from today's Chronicle Herald about the Eagles vs MAINEiacs first round matchup. Damn, that best of 7 series is going to rock socks. Rock Socks son!!!

This is from the Cape Breton Post. Have I already said that this would be Sock rockin'? Oh my loins. The CB Post has all the inside scoop - apparently Czech netminder Marek Benda has had his arm in a sling lately, a little residual injury from the final game last Sunday . Hopefully he is OK, and can get in a few games because otherwise there will be a lot of pressure on Olivier Roy, and Benda seems to be able to come in pretty solid in relief when Roy has one of his 'bad' nights.

But if you want to know how the defending champs the Lewiston MAINEiacs feel, then you have to check out the Sun Journal. They feel funny in their tummies.

Mooseheads vs Tigres:
Willie Palov lines up the Pros and Cons of a Halifax Mooseheads matchup with the Victoriaville Tigres. Once again we stroke our highly lauded offense. Oh offense - please gel!!!

Then we get Weust's blog articles and stuff from the Halifax Metro- lots of stuff:
Experts favour us to win
The awesome power of experience
Stroking Marchand
Playoff stats
More stats, including stats which indicate why P-O is my man
Quotes from players (always my favorite)
Sportsnet think they know what is going down

Sea Dogs vs Rocket:
I know what you are thinking?
But what about the PEI rocket and Q-girl's secret lover- the Saint John Sea Dogs. For PEI's perspective we must check out the Guardian. Ohh, the commenters in PEI are as bitchy as they are in Halifax. Meow. In Halifax we would argue about stocks and weather (on game days it is always hideous) and walking the dog on a sports thread just to have something to bitch about.

NB newspapers have this to say:
Telegraph Journal: There is a little story about the former PEI - Saint John hockey rivalry. They say "Fully is Sexy - here is a picture". Well no, they don't really say that, but they do have a little picture of him even though there is very little about the Dogs in here.
This is more Dog Specific - but it is yesterday's news.

I will also include this news from yesterday (there is also a link at the bottom of the page) because it is Fullerton related and you know how I love Fullerton. It is so unhealthy. He is thinking staying in the Maritime's for university. Maybe he will play AUS hockey. If this is the case I plan on never graduating.

Titan vs Fog Devils:
It turns out that the Titan and the Fog Devils are also secret lovers kept under cover. Slick. Timo, why didn't you tell me? I offered you authentic German marzipan and you gave me nothing. If this is the case I expect a good lover's quarrel and steamy make up sex between these two teams during the playoffs.

Bathurst strokes Perreault and are grateful for the magic that is the Perreault effect. Tardif is still listed as day to day. Poor sweet little goalie.

The Titan playing rock stars (aka poor imitations of Steve Lund) would have been more amusing if you gave me a video or an actual newspaper article instead of just a picture. Ahhh but there is an article - apparently Champion can sing and play everything. Is he the next Gord Downie?

From a Fog Devils perspective we get this and this from The Telegram

See, sometimes I do provide useful information.

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NHL news
Why Devils why? ohhh Marty #1 - you so pretty. I finally get some Devils game on my TV and you lose (AGAIN) to the Rangers. I was so happy that the Rangers defeated the Penguins just the day before (lesser of two evils), but there was no need to let them go and win two in a row. I am just glad Gomez was irrelevant to that Rangers win. I am gonna punch that guy right in his face.

This (re. Toskala and the puck bounce heard around the world) is just funny:

"I almost threw up when I saw it last night," former NHL goalie Kay Whitmore told The Canadian Press on Wednesday.

There have been a lot of Carey Price interviews on my TV lately. That boy has the worlds sexiest forearms...and always with the wristbands. I would be all like - "no Carey leave the wristbands on - rowwwrrr". You can leave the new pads on too.

Kisses to the Ds

No Moose I do not hate you. I love you. How many times do I have to say this? I love you through good and bad. You are so sensitive. You are such a negative nelly...and I love you even though you are such a negative nelly. Why must we fight about the same things over and over? Do the D disappoint? Hell yes, but I only get angry because you are letting P-O and Yetty/Yeti down and you make them look bad.

Everybody knows I love my Ds more than I love my forwards. This is why the hierarchy of my heart goes: 1) Goalies, 2) Defencemen, 3) Forwards. Always has, always will.

Must I individually kiss each and every one of you? Fine, here goes:

Kisses to Ben MacAskill - My girl A.N. loves you. Indiana Jones style writing 27 on her eyelids kind of love- because you are smart. When you are trying to clear the puck from the zone, stop trying to calculate velocities and angles in your head....just shoot it out ASAP. Sometimes you do this very well while other times you think too hard. As a scientist may I be the first to point out to you that thinking is for chumps. Also thank you for game 7 vs Moncton in last years playoffs. You really showed Sniderman and his stupid Spiderman mask who is boss. The answer is us, we are boss.

Kisses to Guillaume Monast - Don't you just hate how the announcer at the arena calls you Jee-oam? Please be kinder to P-O, he appears to be your best friend on the team and the two of you are so 'up in a tree'. Can I be up in that tree with the two of you? When you are mean to P-O, you are mean to me. Everybody gets hurt. I will have to invent a new kind of skate blade for you, one that pucks cannot deflect off of. I like you on the PP, I like your shot from the point. I like you a lot Jee-oam. A lot!!! Enough to want to get drunk on wine with you and then climb a tree. It is a good thing you are of legal drinking age. I secretly love you. Don't tell Graham Bona, he gets so jealous.

Kisses to Gabriel O'Connor - You are a scrappy little thing. Sometimes I think the other boys are afraid to look at you when you are on the bench because you have big funny hair. They will not look because they are afraid they will laugh at your hair and crush your confidence. Please see PJ Corsi for styling tips. Please avoid Bryce Swan for styling tips. Actually while you are at it could you please tell Bryce to see PJ for styling tips and tell him Q-girl says do not wear a striped tie, with a striped shirt, with a striped suit, and a handlebar moustache.

Kisses to Andrew Bodnarchuk - I do not know what to say captain - I met your aunt at a game once, she seemed nice. Please remember to act like the captain and please remember to pay attention to the goalies as they are technically the eyes in the back of your head. You are speedy and everyone loves you, at least enough to make you captain of our team, captain of the QMJHL team in the Canada Russia challenge, to give you an invite to the World Jr try-outs camp, and to name you top offensive defenseman in the Eastern division of the Q. That being said I think we need some more defensive defenseman out of you. We have enough offense. I will give you extra kisses and a good nuzzle if you can do that for me.

Kisses to Justin........Pender - Do you talk, or do you just say Justin........Pender? I know you can sing the moose theme song and you can shout the word score. How exciting for you. Have you been taught more words? Thank you for fighting Denis Reul and for making him bleed. Thank you also for your hard shot.

Kisses to Graham Bona - Graham you are my lovable oaf, you are my big teddy bear. But do you know how to close your mouth? You are rocking a very serious Jessica Simpson face 95% of the time. I secretly love you. Do not tell Steve Lund.



Kisses to Steve Lund way up in the press box - We have already openly established that I love Lund, and this is despite the fact that he sings in a band and I hate musicians. It must be some serious love for me to overlook the 'in a band' thing. My girl C.G. loves Steve the most, and my girl N.B. wants to steal him from C.G. Girls love Steve Lund. Is it because Steve is funny, talkative, and goofy in life as well as dramatic on the ice? When Lund is on the ice a girl pays attention. He can draw a good penalty as well as he can take a bad penalty...it is just too bad that he is broken. Very broken.

Kisses to Richard Greer also up in the press box - I will love you more when you get older and bigger and play some more games. At your age our relationship is very inappropriate, so maybe you shouldn't tell your parents about us....shhhhhh OK?

Kisses to new kid RD Chisholm who is also sitting around up in the sky above my head and wearing a fancy suit - Chisholm, see what I said to Greer, except don't tell your parents or Greer or Bona about us. Bona gives me the silent treatment when he sees how I look at other defensemen, and he is such a jealous little bitch around me when Sauve comes to town.


God, and you thought the fans were hard to please.