Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Happy 20th birthday Bobby Nadeau...here is your public humiliation.

I love how the Q constantly fucks up the details on things.

Lengthy suspensions have been handed out to
Remparts players:
  • Jonathan Roy gets a 7 game suspension (bring on Audette) for his attack on Bobby Nadeau and for flipping off the Chicoutimi fans.
  • Maxime Lacroix gets 3 games for hittin' a bitch while he is down
  • Marc-Olivier Vallerand also gets two games for looking innocent but acting like a jerk.

and Sags players:
  • Sébastien Rioux is out for 6 games for the ultimate sin - leaving the penalty box and getting back into the fight to attack baby Roy.
  • Antoine Roussel gets a one game suspension for instigating
  • Charles-Antoine Messier gets two games
and both of the coaches were suspended too. Fines abound.

...but here is the catch - according to the Q website they say
" Quebec Remparts goaltender Jonathan Roy is suspended seven games and receives a $500 fine for his assault on the opposing goaltender, Ryan Mior, as well as for the inappropriate gestures which he aimed at the crowd at the Georges-Vézina Centre during last Saturday’s game."
...but baby Roy did not attack Ryan Mior, he went after Bobby Nadeau. HELLO Q, am I the only one with this obsessive knowledge of your goalies...there are not that many to keep track of (not even if you count ALL the goalies for the Titan)...so why can't you keep track of them.

Now this reference to a hit on Mior is more like it, if you had actually identified it as being a hit on Mior:
"Shawinigan Cataractes winger Tommy Tremblay is hit with a six-game suspension for a bodycheck he administered to the opposing goaltender during last Saturday night’s game. "
While both Ryan and Bobby are 20, both are good little goalies, and both are reasonably attractive - they are not the same man. Dear Q - please remember that this is Ryan Mior and this is Bobby Nadeau. If it helps - Ryan is the heavier one with the funny Newf accent and with the little squirrel friend who plays for Gatineau, and Bobby is the French one in Chicoutimi. Is it clear yet?

But don't worry, that beatdown was just baby Roy's way of saying happy 20th birthday Bobby Nadeau. Yeah, Bobby turned 20 just this past Sunday. Why do birthdays always suck like that - "I turned 20 and for my birthday I get to sit idly by as the whole world watches me get beaten up by Patrick Roy's kid." Poor Bobby Nadeau.

I will kiss you better Mr. Nadeau. If you get traded to Halifax next year as a 20 year old I can give you those kisses and we can totally make you suck your way to oblivion. Do you want to end your Jr career on a low note - then come to Halifax - WE BREAK GOALIES.

Some other things to point out:
Olivier Roy (the good goalie with the surname of Roy who plays for the Eagles) had his very first playoff shutout this past weekend when the Eagles faced the Lewiston MAINEiacs. In all the fuss about the MAINEiacs losing 2 of 2, getting shut out, and Jonathan Bernier getting no assistance from his boys while simultaneously being stymied by his own evil moustache - I forgot about the Super Boy doing all that shutting out. This is Olivier's 5th shutout this season. He ended the season with a 2.87 GAA, the 7th best in the league, which is totally awesome for a rookie. Olivier has also just won the Raymond-Lagacé Trophy as the League’s top defensive rookie.

Saint John vs PEI - Game 1:
You are next Fully...I have so much to say about your first playoff game because you were rusty as hell in the first and second. I think I saw only one fancy save, and that was in the third - thank the Hockey Gods that you were able to pull up your socks if for no other reason than for 'looking smooth' and impressing me. They totally should have played you in the game against Halifax to prevent rust. Now scuddle over here in that cute little way that you scuddle across the crease...we have to talk. Why did Robert Mayer dye his hair back to blond leaving you and Passingham to look like the only freaks on your team with black hair? Will Passy fold too? It is time to disown Mayer from your goalie friend circle? What a traitor!!! Moose have black hair - you can join our team. However be forewarned - you might lose your power and start to suck...it always helps your confidence when we boo you as the people of Halifax often do. Junior goalies shouldn't let in soft goals, it's not like this is a development league or anything. Do you want a healthy dose of Booooooooo?

What, they don't booo you in Saint John? They treat you well even when you play poorly? They say thank you Fully, they say thank you for trying? They even thank Mayer when he loses...they thank him for trying? Passy too? Wow, Saint John are so sweet.

I will see you tonight . rowwwwrrr.

Oh and while you are in PEI tell 'big pimpin' Lafleur that he looked pretty good in the first, sharp even despite the two goals. He actually looked better than you....and did I see a little touch of goalie rage, an unpenalized slash on one of your Dogs. Ohhh Lafleur is scrappy. Then kick him for me since he is the one who ran Ryan Mior out of town.

Pier-Olivier Pelletier:
I actually wish I had something to say to you, but I have nothing because you are not playing...you are just sitting on the bench looking pretty. Sometimes I look at you on the bench and I sigh because you are pretty, but I would really prefer that you had your little mask on and that you were standing in some blue paint. Sigh.

Today my girl C.G. said that you were not the prettiest thing on the earth and that I should get over it - so I had to think about that one for a second. I thought of my boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriends; I thought of some actors, some singers, some other boys I have met in my life, and then I thought of some hockey players: Vermette, Fisher, Theodore, Brodeur, Pretty Ricky, Price, Latendresse. hmmmmm. My conclusion: yep, you are indeed the prettiest boy I have ever laid my eyes on in my whole life. Sigh. How can you live with such immense levels of pretty? Now how is that for a confidence booster!!! Thank you for letting me know you exist and for making the world a prettier place. Sigh.

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