Monday, January 18, 2010

gone dark

Yeah, sorry about that. At first I swore I would not blog until I had dealt with pressing real-life issues. Those were dealt with by last Wednesday so I really have no excuse for not blogging about the last two games in a timely manner. Needless to say, not having to write anything for a whole week was like a dreamy dream. Fuck the English language.

So, I guess I should get to it.

Mooseheads vs Montreal Jr (Moose lose 4-1)
Well, the first period was exciting. When the team allowed 4 goals in the second period I gave up on life. Sitting through the third period just felt like torture because of the sense of complete helplessness. It must be how my cat feels when I force her to cuddle me. I never want to experience that again. Can you do that for me my sweet, darling mooselets?

Cookies to Grant for the only goal in what felt like the longest stretch of goallessness in the history of hockey.  Cookies are for eating, not for hiding in your underware.

Mooseheads vs Screagles (Moose lose 2-0)
Despite the fact that the team were shutout, this game was decidedly less painful. Games against the Screagles are always delightful and scrappy...even when there is no actual scrapping. Cookies are to be shared between Bety and Bernard for coming out in this game with full force, and new goalie Delmas for decreasing my sense of hopelessness with his >0.9% sv%. There is a chance for you yet Delmas, but remember: cookies are for eating, not for hiding down your pants.

PS J.Bernard. We are soooo back on. I was going to give you a choice about it but then I realized we never how could you let me know? You can't!!! I have made an executive decision for us. If I catch you sexy dancing for Alex MacDonald I will rip his mullet weave out...unless, of course, I can have you both.

Mooseheads vs Wildcats (Moose lose 3-0)
In a homage to the loss of Baby LBD I did not pay attention to this game. How dare LBD leave me to go to Quebec? The only benefit of this move was our acquisition of Delmas...Oh, and the fact that LBD gets to work with Roy. I just don't think he was taking my feeling into consideration. ...and to think that I cooed for his wearing of white belts and shoes (yes, gentle readers, he goes all Frenchy style on us too). 

Twenty-five shots on goal and yet, nothing. I blame Nicola Riopel. He probably shouldn't be in this league.

Cookies go to me because I have a tendency to drown my sorrows in food.

Mooseheads vs Sagueneens (Moose win 5-1)
Ah now that is more like it. Randall's one timer was a thing of pure beauty. Who knew that anybody on this team could 'one-time' it. Sometimes, as a group of intelligent, deep thinking and gentle boys, my moosies spend far too much time coddling the puck with their stick and contemplating their next move. Pucks are for shooting, not for coddling... and definitely not for putting down your pants in an attempt to look like you have a bigger schlong.

Pucks were getting all up in the Sags' net. The Mooseheads had 5 goals (Randell, Bernard, Gelinas, MacDonald and Andrews) in 40 shots and boys were driving the net to get those rebounds.  Amazeballs. Why can't they do this every night?

It's as easy as that!

With the Sags came a return to winning and the second coming of Alexis Piette (the first, of course, being his visit with the Lewiston Maineiacs before being traded to the Sags at X-mas). At some point Alexis played an excellent game of keep-away, scooting around the entire perimeter of our zone with the puck, and at that moment I desperately wanted him back. It's not just for the eyebrows.

Cookies go to MacDonald and Bernard. MacDonald had his first goal as a Moosehead, which is always something to be celebrated with abundant overeating and a few beer. Of course I am terribly selfish and I demand more goals. Immediately if possible. Yes Jessyko, cookies are for storing in your pants but only if I can...

Mooseheads vs Voltigeurs (Moose win 2-1)
Bitches. The Volts stole Delmas' shutout with just over 3 minutes left in the game. Peter Delmas stopped 35 shots on his way to a win over the league powerhouse Drummondville Voltigeurs (33-13-0-2). It was brilliant.

Abeltshauser (big slapshot from the point) and Amyot both got their goals on the powerplay. Knotek, Bernard, Gelinas and Andrews had assists.

Jake Allen was in nets for the Volts, playing what was his 3rd game in  a row. Why they felt the need to play him against one of the worst teams in the league is beyond me? I was tempted to throw Allan off his game by holding up a big sign that just said "SILVER" on it, but I had no bristle board and I had not thought of this in advance of the game. It turns out that it was not necessary to be so mean and the Mooseheads could defeat the Volts without my help.

To say that the final three minutes was stressful is an understatement. The Moose had lost their 2 goal cushion and spent the last minute playing 6-4 after taking a penalty for too many men on the ice. The defensive effort was staggering and I was desperately hoping one of the boys could thoroughly crush the Volts' spirits with an empty net goal but everyone knows that empty net goals are really not part of the Mooseheads' skill set.

Dear Peter Delmas,
Congratulations on your QMJHL defensive player of the week award. In two games you recorded two wins and had a 1.0 GAA and a 0.964 sv%.  I would lick cookie crumbs off your taint for that. Please, don't tell your mother I offered... and for God's* sake don't tell my mother either. What do you mean, you don't read my blog? You should get on that boy!

News links
Palov - Another upset win for Moose

* God = Martin Brodeur 

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