Wednesday, August 27, 2008

SeaDogs go to camp too?

Oh indeed sir they do. Round 'em all up for me and I will pet the pretty harbour puppies one by one. The Saint John Sea Dogs have announced their training camp roster. Notable invites include baby Sparling (Evan, brother of Ryan?) and Baby Howes (Andrew, brother of Scott). Last season they also invited Guérette-Charland (Francois, brother of Keven). It is like a NJ Devils of the Jr circuit - brothers galore. If only there were a baby Fullerton to invite.

Oh, I said it I can unsay it - now my brain is stuck on Fullerton. That is its most dangerous setting.
Oh dear god FULLY yesyesyes. I type the name and my left ovarie gets all kicky.

Oh hey sexy,
It is good to see that you are still alive, still teaching, and that you got your once yearly hair cut. Did you get your new V-Red pads already? You are rockin' some new black, white and red pads there. The colour blocking is strange. hmmmm. I miss watching you in nets and the weird pains it causes in my girlie bits (the same pains I get when I type your name - in fact, it hurts right now). Summers are too looooooong. October 24th cannot come soon enough. I would give up all of my other goalie boyfriends for you if you asked me to*.

I cannot even begin to express my, ummmm, 'admiration'. If the Sea Dogs need a baby Fully I totally offer the services of my womb. But how would we get the baby in there? Good question. I'm smart, I'll figure it out. It just might take a lot of time and practice but I WILL figure it out. I suspect it would require your participation. Any suggestions?

Also, this moustache fetish thing is killing me. I have started getting all hot and bothered by old pictures of Steve Tambellini. It's not just hockey players either - I totally have a crush on David the mustachioed Sushi waiter from Hamachi house and it's all your fault. I order sushi when I do not want sushi (lies - I always want sushi). I have a shower and get all dressed-up just to pick up take-out. I joke with my boyfriend about his growing a moustache, but I'm kinda not joking even though it would look hideous on him. It has gotten beyond sick.

Someday you are going to wake up and I am going to be straddling you like a succubus, wearing your blocker (they are surprisingly comfy) and caressing your upper lip and chin while having my tongue planted firmly on your neck.
Creepy, I know!

It has gotten so bad that my brain has developed a whole new nucleus strictly to repress the corrupt things I get to thinking I might want to do to you. The naughty thoughts are so repressed that even I don't know them. If I actually knew the extent of my own filthiness my brain would self-destruct. So once again I ask - Why haven't you issued a restraining order yet?

does not include Marty as we are bonded by secret marriage.


wrap around curl said...

Oh the goalie. How they are my favorite. I want to nibble and caress them...

Q-girl said...

I don't know what I like more: the boy or his game. Put them together and I damn near explode.

100000 inexplicable RAWRs for Travis Fullerton. I don't want to nibble and caress this one, I want to ravage him with the gnawing and the clawing. He does not inspire tender heartfelt feelings in me like P-O does, just animal ones.

wrap around curl said...

Goalies bring out something fierceeeee. I gnash teeth and sharpen claws.