Friday, November 13, 2009

Who are you?

The Mooseheads (last place) just defeated the Moncton Wildcats (7th overall) by a score of 2-1. Sure they couldn't get a puck in that empty net for the last minute of play thus leaving me hanging from a perpetual cliff of excitement for the final minute of play but who cares - they won.


I am also pretty sure that their penises all got about 3 inches longer. That is like 69 extra inches of dick. Absolutely amazing. No one can resist that.

Dimitruk, Grant and Corbeil (36 MF saves) get stars. Corbeil and Gelinas share cookies.

If this were America's next top Model, and I was Tyra Banks, I would make one of Garrett or Gerrad change their name. I keep interchanging them. It does not help that both of their surnames can double for first names (Clarke and Grant). It is just not appropriate. Maybe I will start calling Gerrad by the name Gerry...just like his mommy does. Will that clear up the confusion?

Updates (post edit)
There is a mystical connection between my bladder and the Mooseheads:
When I go to the bathroom they score. I don't know why. I am not planning on spending all of my game time in the bathroom, but it remains a possibility should the team start to play horribly.

The Key is defence:
...or at least 4 defencemen. Which was pretty much all the Mooseheads had last night. Abeltshauser hobbled off the ice after being knocked into his own net and ended up with a knee injury. Instead of kissing his knee better the ref decided to give him a 2 minute minor for hooking or holding. Moncton got their first and only goal as a result.

Down 1 Special K for the rest of the game.

Then early in the second Metcalfe gets a 15 minute penalty. This leaves 5 defencemen (7 were playing). At the end of the second Clarke got another 15 minutes. At some point Amyot, Dimitruk, Hannay and Gillard were the only defencemen. Despite this the team held on and did not allow Moncton to get back at our net. Hence why Dimitruk gets stars.

But why did Gelinas get cookies? He had only one shot on net, no hits and was overall may not have been a guy you noticed. But I noticed him. He was boppin' and weavin' and stickhandling and skating with much effort - always trying to get that puck in front of the net. He kept popping into my visual field saying "look at me" ...and I kept noticing. Besides, its my blog and if I want to give cookies to Gelinas just because I think he looks like a squirrel* then I can do so.

But he has to share with Corbeil and I hope nobody minds that I gave some raw cookie dough to Louis Domingue. I may have also let him clean the bowl...and the spoon...and the beaters...and sneak some chocolate chips from the package. What?

...because really - both goalies faced over 30 shots and the score was 2-1. Both were was the empty net. Damn that net really knows how to keep Randell off the score board. It's like it moves its posts or something. No goals on 3 empty net shots.


10 minutes because refs lick ass:
Both Metcalfe and Clarke got scrappy. Both Metcalfe and Clarke got 5 for fighting and an additional 10 minutes ...because refs were punishing them for the balloon boy incident? Like dude, I don't know! Apparently Metcalfe was given an extra 10 minutes for a hand motion to pump up the crowd- a hand motion which was so subtle that I probably wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't wearing my glasses. Admittedly if I wasn't wearing my glasses I probably wouldn't have even know that was Metcalfe and may have confused the Mooseheads for the Minnesota yeah, I'm blind. I also drink my beer with a straw. You got a problem with that?

This is bullshit. I enjoy showboating. Everybody enjoys showboating. Even when a player from the other team showboats I like it. The bigger the better. It makes them stand out and reminds me who I should hate (eg. ASShton Bernard using his imaginary bow and arrows). QMJHL hockey needs more showboating, not less.

News links:
Casey - Mooseheads win third straight
Palov - Moose shock Wildcats
Wuest -
Lineup: Wildcats at Mooseheads
Wuest - Knee injuries sideline Mooseheads' top D-men
Wuest - Herd keeps rolling with win over Wildcats
Wuest - Mooseheads hope to capitalize on last weekend's success

* He does not look like a squirrel


RedFridayGirl said...

Love the Penis Comment.. .great blog. ...

Anonymous said...

What the hell did Gelinas do to be degraded to a piece of shit Squirrel on this blog? Do you hate him or something?

Here is a cookie for you....Squirrels suck...they aren't even very good road kill...Moose are good road kill.

Moose good....Squirrel Bad.

All for now.

Q-girl said...

I think squirrels are cute. Both tree Squirrels AND UNB squirrels: Fullerton, Clendenning, Corcoran, Procyshen - adorable.

Anonymous said...

I don't like your tone and I think you are sick.

Q-girl said...

The only reason you curse squirrels is because you secretly love them. Just cross the street and start going to UNB games already.

Q-girl said...

@ Anon #2
I just learned that you are not the same person as Anon #1.

So you are a humorless prude? That must be fun for everyone you know. If you don't like it, don't read it.