Bryce Swan - Contract Negotiator

Mr. William Bryce Swan was a second round pick (38th overall) of the Anaheim Ducks in the 2006 NHL entry draft. For almost two years Bryce has been sitting around by his phone (when he is not playing hockey), alternately growing and shaving his moustache and waiting for that fateful call. He does not know if the Ducks prefer the moustache or not, but sometimes he thinks yes - because look at Georgie Parros, then he thinks no - because they have not called, then he thinks yes maybe they do prefer the 'stache because when he shaves they still do not call. Don't make Bryce think too much, he is from Cape Breton and his brain cannot handle all of those action potentials.

Bryce has had to sit by his phone grooming his 'stache, weeping and consuming milk and mini-pizza after mini-pizza, all the while watching as teammate after teammate gets their contract, their big money and their fancy car. This has made Bryce sad and the Moose did little in the way of providing psychological counselling to rid him of his misery for the greater part of the season.

Well apparently at the tender age of 20, and no longer eligible to play in the Q, Bryce Swan's time to be a pro has finally come. He is currently in contract negotiations with the Ducks and he is all like "You can have Q-girl Whitey. You can have her and you can keep her, because I will have a contract and big money and fast cars and California (or Portland Oregon) ladies soon."


Congrats in advance to Bryce Swan.