Thursday, April 10, 2008

Moose vs Eagles: Game 4 - The Rise of Mechanopuppy

First off, let me paraphrase the game by saying the Mooseheads lost to the Screaming Eagles 4-3 in overtime after allowing the Eagles two consecutive powerplays. Unfortunately our boys in the box were D1 and D2. The Eagles scored as they always do - by sitting one of their fuglings by the side of the net to receive a quick pass and tap it in. The fugling in question however, was not really a fugling it was scrappy little Jordan Clendenning who looks so sweet but plays like the spawn of icy Satan himself. He was assisted by burly mountain-man Dean Ouellet and ‘A for effort’ Chris Culligan. You can read more at the Herald.

The three stars were awarded to Clendenning (who had 4 points: 2 G, 2A), Yetman and Roy.

Tomas Knotek remained out with the flu and Bryce Swan was out because of concussion like symptoms from an elbow to the jaw, and a hit to the top of the head with a stick followed by a knee to the noggin, all of which occurred during Tuesday’s game. This is what they will do to you in Cape Breton if you attempt to return after you have defected. This is why I can’t go home.

Once again shots were high – 41 for Halifax and 45 for Cape Breton, but neither team allowed the other an abundance of good scoring chances. The refs were also fairly well behaved and kept the calls to a minimum which is always nice to see, and both teams were capable of opportunizing on the few PP chances they did get. It is just unfortunate that we gave Cape Breton some PP chances when we did.

The Mooseheads had one full strength goal scored by – wait for it, wait for it – Andrew White unassisted. HOORAY….and how many puppy treats does he deserve for that awesome puppy trick. A whole frickin’ box. Playing with other boys is for chumps. So while I like the other boys – Superpowered eastern European types like Cheremetiev and Knotek; other Newfs like ol’ man Randell; French boys like ‘footy pajamas’ Bouchard or ‘big hits E.L.-XVI’, they have not helped my puppy achieve his goal getting potential. He is best left to his own devices. He rushed down the ice alone, got very close to the net, crossed in front of Roy, went forehand, backhand, and into the top of the net. It was one of the nicest goals I have seen all series. I am just wondering when he was transformed from regular puppy to mechanopuppy and will he still be as cuddly soft?

I have a tendency to jinx him every time we are tied or if the team falls behind because that is when I fully expect him to pull out a goal for me. I also think that I am jinxing MacMillan. I have mad jinxing skills - look what I did to the poor Oceanic – swept, and all because I predicted two wins at home. Au revoir Blanchard, au revoir Veilleux “Q-girl weeps”, au revoir Frolik. Last night I went into the game with no puppy related expectations and he gave me the best of goals. Then, because it was on TV, it allowed me to peep at his crazy shifty eyes that I like so much.

Which reminds me that on Tuesday they had the camera on P-O (his attempted beard is worse than I ever could have imagined) and they discussed how he is in good spirits, how he overflows with team pride, and how has been playing very well in practice despite being put on the goalie backburner. How sweet he is. Of course we know they were only going to say good things about Mr Pelletier, we are not going to hear a quote from Cam or Dallaire in which they say that his attitude stinks and his play in nets during practice can only be likened to licking newt taint. I am hoping that despite only getting one start in the past month, his game remains as fresh as the morning dew - the very same morning dew that he and his other pixie faced elvin friends are responsible for laying down every beautiful summer morning. Mmmm pixie face.

The camera shows so much: P-O supporting the guys as they leave the room and head to the ice, Guillaume with no jersey on, sweaty post period interviews, and the fuglitude of the Eagle’s playoff ‘dos. Eastlink – I think I love you, you are so much better than online Telus feeds.


I have been bad and failed to give Brad Marchand his props. He joins Swan as a CHL player of the week. This gives him the right to shovel snow into the faces of CB children, to steal and break their toys, as well as to make inappropriate throat-slashy gestures to Cape Breton players. The isle brings out the worst in people – but I am sure the children deserve what they had coming to them. I have done worse. The boys of Cape Breton will grow up to be selfish insensitive assholes, the girls will grow up to be skanks, and the world will continue to turn.


A desperate Quebec was finally able to take it to Gatineau, as they defeated the Olympiques 8-4 to bring the series to 3-1 before both teams head back west. Both teams faced 28 shots and Ryan Mior was pulled after 25 minutes and allowing 4 goals on 18 shots. Unfortunately or fortunately Clermont was also not able to hold the fort. If we have to face them next round the hope is that we will be appropriate levels of rested and they will be tired. However, I also want Quebec gone. If it is relevant, Jonathan Roy has returned to the bench. Did the Remparts win because he was gesturing intents of violence to Gatineau's netminders?


David Connell has posted pictures from the Sea Dogs vs Titan(ics) game. We all know how that went down. Fully had his shutout, which people are claiming is his first career Q shutout, but the Q website actually says that when he played for Lewy he had a shutout against his now beloved Sea Dogs on Feb 18, 2006. How quickly the people of Saint John forgive and forget. Either that or the Q website is wrong. It would not be the first time.

Champion was pulled for Dyke after allowing 4 goals on 12 shots, only one of which was deemed to be dangerous. Some bitter man on the boards thinks the SeaDogs won 5-0 completely by fluke and played a shit game. 'But answer me this, you contrary bastard, how well did your team play? Exactly. '

Bask in the adorableness that is the Sea Dogs if you dare. Also allow yourself to bask in the glory of a happy post shutout Travis Fullerton in a suit. Simon looks adorable and much less like Andre the Giant from the front. My conclusion – no more photos of Simon in profile please.

There are two new news articles relating to this series:
Dogs grab commanding lead in quarter final
Titan fans give Dogs their due

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