Saturday, March 15, 2008

There is no I in team, but there is an I in Q-girl

It is hard to be motivated when you lose your favorite players, and mine are being picked off one by one. I lost my favorite defenseman Steve Lund ages ago. I miss Steve so much, he was very amusing. Then I lost my favorite little goalie - we are sitting him out because he is too pretty for all that sweating. I miss the guy that can somehow pull off a save while lying on his back (thank God Fully comes here on Sunday). Then on Wednesday, maybe only one minute into the game Danick Paquette robbed me of my favorite forward when he used his elbow to cram Whitey's face into the glass, dislodge his helmet and send him crumpling to the ice. When you have lost all of your favorite players the emotional connection with the team and their play gets lost.

I guess there is always Graham Bona, whom I like because most of the time he skates around with a look on his face that is contemplating "Did I put on my pants today? Don't look down Graham, you don't want to know". It is a sad day when your favorite guy on the ice is the other team's goalie.

Let it never be said that Jonathan Bernier is not full of fun and surprises. I have seen Jon play on numerous occasions at the metro center, on the internets, and all over my TV, be it Eastlink Friday Night QMJHL games, the Canada –Russia Challenge (x2) or the World Juniors. Not once have I noticed that he crosses himself before the first faceoff. I didn’t even notice it Wednesday, my friend noticed it. Stupid faceoff distracting me. Do robots have a God?

His cogs were fully greased before the game so when I met him later with my bottle of WD40 in hand he declined. I felt that greasing him up was the least I could do considering the way I had treated him earlier that day, what with suggesting the boys aim for his head. I felt very bad. I am always there with my WD40, plastered two feet in front of the TV waiting for Jon’s hinges to squeak so that I can run off, catch a plane to an exotic locale (eg. Chicoutimi) and get him repaired and ready to go for the next period. I really dropped the ball in the game against Sweden. He has been short with me ever since. I think he may have another girl with a different brand of lube.

I was impressed by his puck handling during the Lewy PPs. I was not really expecting him to get a chance to do that. He must have been feeling quite safe and confident. I lied when I said the best part of the game was the puck drop. It was actually when Pridham climbed into Jon’s net like a little Brian Gionta troll and Jon proceeded to sit on him. Then he stayed sitting there atop Colby for some time. Lesson learned: Only Gio can be a net troll. I did not get a picture of this memorable event. This is the second time Bernier has thoroughly amused me this year, and he has only been to Halifax twice. The first silly Jon incident is captured here with Ryan Hillier. Yes Jon, I already know how its done.

Shall I discuss the game itself...what is the point? I think I have already expressed my indifference towards the game and my growing indifference towards my feelings of disgust after such a game.

Some silly things I did notice and that I will now force you to know. Once you read it you cannot un-read it:

1) I actually saw the Corsi penalty going down. I was all " no PJ don't hook that guy" and I said it out loud. I never catch a penalty as it is happening. I usually catch the aftermath. Lord only knows if I am watching the same game as everyone else. Most likely not. The play proceeds up ice and I immediately divert my attention to the guy in nets because of my dirty goalie peepin' problem. It is all a matter of which part of the game you want to watch. I feel I should mention that I am proud we took so few penalies. It's just too bad our PP ended up being more like a PK...and we had a lot of PPs.

2) Graham shaved the back of his neck. All a girl wants is a clean shaven neck to lick....maybe he got a girlfriend.

3) Knotek got a haircut. Maybe he went to a barber with Graham or maybe he was trying to show Jakub that you can still get goals and assists with short hair.

4) Pier is still capable of smiling. We have not crushed his delicate spirit yet. While I would take him and wrap him up in pre-warmed blankets, make him hazelnut lattes, feed him homemade cookies and tell him stories while stroking his hair, I suspect that the Mooseheads organization keeps him chained up in a cold subterranean room in the Metro centre in their attempts to break him. Also, they stole the ring from his ring finger, unfortunately they have not forcefully shaved the landing strip.

5) I instantly walked in, sat across from the bench and said "hey, that's not Delmas". Indeed it was not. Delmas had wandered off with a lower body injury and the other NS boy Kirk Rafuse took his place. Early in the season when Bernier was still with the LA Kings, Kirk was backing up Delmas, but I could not see him on the bench from my vantage point. Kirk is a wee baby goalie, but he has the goalie bitch-face look down, even if he doesn't have the good goalie skills firmly established yet.

With this picture we establish three things 1) P-O has no ring. 2) P-O is still capable of expressing joy. 3) Rafuse gives good dirty face.

  • How we clinched the East
  • How the Sea Dogs clinched second in the East
  • How Travis Fullerton stopped pucks twice in one night while laying on his back. That is a very vulnerable position for a goalie in this town. It is an exceptionally vulnerable position if that goalie is Fullerton. He will be here St Patty's day. I have considered buying a 'kiss me I'm Irish" shirt and filling in some blanks - "Kiss me (Fully) I'm Irish (too)". My boyfriend may not appreciate this even though he is an enabler.
  • Why I unjustly refuse to give props to 'big-pimpin' Antoine LaFleur
  • What the hell is going down around the Q
  • The new four division system is stupid (actually Nuff said)

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