Friday, March 14, 2008

Jigsaw falling into place

Halifax vs Lewiston didn’t phase me, hardly in the least. Some disasters you just kinda expect. Jake turns over the puck and our "stars" can't back-check. Quelle surprise? The lines changed 50 x, nope never seen that before either. Down 2-0, how unusual. Yeti lets in a goal after only 1 or 2 shots - hmmm must be P-O's fault.

Here are some other things I learned:

1) Sometimes I hate the other Moose fans. The boys sitting behind me were total assholes and it took all of my strength not to turn around and tell them to fuck the hell off. If I was sober I might just have given them a piece of my mind. There is no point sitting around spending the entire game complaining about a player who is not even playing. Last night (Wednesday) there were many other boys to be bitching about. Pick on them for a change.

2) The Moose like dogs. They get really excited to see dogs and they make happy faces from the bench. We should get a different dog to do the ceremonial puck-drop every game. The puck-drop was literally the best part of the game.

I will have plenty more to say later – Like how I have a hit out on Paquette, stuff about my other boyfriend Jonathan Bernier, the absence of Delmas, the presence of Rafuse - “hello Kirk”, oh, and how Halifax played…yeah that is important too.

But let’s not talk about Halifax right now, let’s talk about Saint John vs PEI, or more specifically about Travis Fullerton.

Travis Fullerton stepped into the crease in relief of Mayer who allowed 3 goals on 9 shots in 13 minutes. Fullerton then proceeded to make 36 saves on 38 shots and came out with the second star of the game even though Saint John lost. When I returned from the Metro Centre and checked in on this game I lost my mind in a twitter and threw my panties in the general direction of Saint John. I have thrown so many pairs of panties in the general direction of Saint John that, were they to actually make it to their destination, I would have almost run out of panties. It is a rather pointless exercise since they simply fly out the window and flutter down into my tiny flower garden. Then when I come to my senses I have to slink outside to reclaim them before the cold light of day hits and passersby discover girlie-undies strewn about my wee garden.

One of my girlfriends commented on my love for Fullerton today with an ‘ugh’, and then all the girls got on my back. They think he is gross and they do not like the little moustache. Hell, the first time I saw him I was like “damn does that kid have a moustache – gross”; then somewhere along the line, some fancy save, some fancy puckhandling, something, somewhere, and I cannot exactly pinpoint the moment, maybe it was more like a slow waltz, but that dirty little bitch seduced the hell out of me…and badly. Now all I have to do is hear his name and I start to breathe a little heavier and that low guttural animal sound starts welling up in my throat. It is complete and utter thrall.

I found this CBC coverage of the Sea Dogs which begins around 42 minutes into the news story (this link may not work after 24 hours and you need to be using Explorer). There is an interview with both Fullerton and Sauve. I watched it, then I watched it again, then I melted into one tiny, messy puddle, and then I took my whole underwear drawer and flung it out my front window (Saint John is slightly northwest right?).

I managed to get a single screencap of Fully in all of his well spoken, freshly showered (? - postgame) glory.

As a result, I have been irrationally licking my computer screen for the last half hour. Panty flinging is so unlike me…I mean, he isn’t even Francophone, or Finnish… he’s from Riverview, he has a moustache and he is too young for me (but at least he is 20). I mean look at him…it makes no sense; why the hell do I want to grab a firm hold of that scruffy mop, bite his chin, run my tongue along his jaw then ... (deleted due to its excessively obscene nature)? Here he has sloped shoulders, severe lines under his eyes, horrible hair, straight messy eyebrows, and a moustache. But, he also has good skin, a strong chin, nice bone structure, beautiful baby blues, soft looking lips…oh, and he is a nice little goalie. I want to take him home and put him in a fancy box.

Some combo of everything he is and isn't makes him 'sex on blades' (I am going to Trademark that phrase). Another deep low growl emanates from my throat. Does that make me a puckbunny? Damn.

That being said, I realized there is only one time all year when we can throw things onto the ice and not get kicked out of the arena. The teddy bear toss is this Sunday when Halifax hosts Saint John. If I ball the panties tight enough I should be able to get a fairly good aim at his head from my seat.

I will finish watching periods two and three of Saint John vs PEI after I post this. If you are a drunk walking home along some downtown street tonight beware of flying panties.

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