Friday, February 19, 2010


Nobody likes a fun thanks a lot stinky Sea Dogs for a 6-2 ass whoopin' on Wednesday night. A whoopin that happened almost entirely within a 3 minute span of the third period. The Sea Dogs are almost as much of a downer as me and I have been spending years perfecting my "misery" skillz.

Wha? Nah!

I am feeling better, crawling out of my neurosis induced rut. I think that a shootout win by team Canada and getting to look at Martin Brodeur, his sexy Santa belly and his scruffy old chest protector helped a bit.

...but this is a Mooseheads blog not a Team Canada blog and it is most definitely not my "dear, Diary" so I should just get over my emotional outbursts and stick to hockey.

The Moose played a scrappy game against the Sea Dogs and the Sea Dogs scrapped back. As Lady GaGa would say "It's not how big, it's how mean" which could, if you would like, help to explain the usefullness of Garrett Clarke. I would be a fool if I ignored his diva-like behavior since it sometimes makes the game funner to watch. I mean, it's not fun to watch your team lose in the last minutes of the game while Clarke sits in the penalty box diddling with himself. No, that's not fun at all. What is fun is when he destroys boys with big hits and frustrates the shit out of the opposing team and makes all hell break loose on the ice.

I ascribe to a similar philosophy but I actually prefer big AND mean (take that as you will)...

... so when Clarke throws Sauve off his game and makes him behave all like the Cunty princess of Cuntland on blades, well, then I get really excited. I don't yell and scream like some Mooseter club loonies (oh, they know who they are), instead I just sit and calmly watch it all unfold like a graceful display of dickishness and anarchy. It is beautiful. Well, not Clarke's acting. That is more in line with the work of Heidi Montag than, say, Cate Blanchett. Kid deserves a Razzie for his dives.

I mean, really? What did you expect would happen when the "best" team in the country finally decided to "show up"?

The positive part was the Mooseheads penalty kill, which was a travesty that first night in Rimouski, was back on form. The Dogs were only able to score on 1/8 power play opportunities.

The Moose also DOMINATED faceoffs - winning 41 of 58. So if you are looking at the Sea Dog's Zach Phillips and thinking "oh wow": 1 goal, 2 assists and 1st star honors - just remember he was 1/9 on the faceoffs.  He ain't so hot!

On a similar vein, when I had looked at Tomas Knotek's faceoff stats while in Rimouski I almost cried. I was ready to fly to the Czech republic, kidnap his girlfriend and have her forcibly confined back in Canada. We could smuggle her from game to game in a hockey bag in the guts of the bus. Tomas' rommie could sleep in the hall while he got his 'thang' on. Tomas plays much, MUCH better when there is a girl around that he feels the need to impress*.

No diss on Tomas though. He played an OK game. He wasn't as dominant as he can be, but he did have a goal. He is now 3 points from that elusive PPG status (48 points in 51 games). Bety had the other goal and was the recipient of starz. Cookies go to Linden Bahm though because we had a "moment" in the first period where he was being all feisty... which ended with him blocking a shot and getting hurt and then beings slightly less feisty...but still. Don't deny us our moment!

As for Corbeil. Wow. You know during the breakaways and all that he was a total beast. In fact he was a beast for about 57 minutes. Unfortunately, it is all fun and games until someone loses an eye ...or allows 3 goals in a brief 3 minute span. No hate. Just love. Love and chocolate! I am a very forgiving girl. I wonder if Mathieu can do 1-legged squats? hmmmmmmmm. If he demonstrated a one-leg squat for me I would make sure he got his chocolate. Actually,  Delmas also gets chocolate. I mean he answered Ovie over Crosby. That is the correct answer! No one-legged squats required.

Special note to Alex LeMeowMeowMeowMeow. 
Maybe fighting isn't your thing. There is really no harm in being a "lover, not a fighter". Of course, there is no harm in being a lover AND a fighter either, but that is more of an off-ice activity.

Very late News links
Lineup: Sea Dogs at Mooseheads
Moose fall 6-2 in hard-hitting affair
Moose agitate, but can’t win
Gelinas 'a possibility' to miss rest of season
Gelinas could be out for season
Sea Dogs dump Moose

* She's already yours, so no need for theatrics.

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