Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Locked in the trunk of a car

The Mooseheads had their first two games of the season this past weekend and I was neither willing nor energetic enough to report on either of them at the time. I was on a weekend mini-vacation and if the Moose can't give me that then they are selfish, selfish boys.

Moose vs Screagles:
I did spend Friday evening cuddled up with my boys (and my other real, more fleshy boyfriend) to watch the Moose take on the Screagles on Eastlink television. It was a spirited game with the Moose coming back from a severe deficit to pull up to CB's bumper. The score was 5-4 going into the final minute of the game. Then Michael Stinziani ruined their night by getting a hat trick when he directed the puck into an empty Mooseheads net. He did this from inside the CB blue line. Final score 6-4.

My concerns:
Too many breakaways for Cape Breton: I am getting tired of this. This is three years in a row where I feel like I am guaranteed to see the opposition have at least 5 breakaway shots on net every game.

Too many goals allowed: Losing is fine. I am OK with losing, but can we keep the goals against under 5. Yeah...that would be great.

The dark green numbers are almost impossible to see on the dark red background of the "away Jersey", and I am not even a colour blind male. If it was that difficult to see on TV I do not want to know how hard it will be to see on a streaming internet feed.

Not that I am about to start paying telus to watch these now. Yep, streaming internet feeds are no longer free. Thus, I shall no longer be writing semi-informative blogs about away games because I refuse to pay an extra $100+ dollars for the shitty and inconsistent feed.

Mon Cher:
1) Jessyko Bernard for getting that goal in the final minutes of the game to put the pressure on Cape Breton.

2) Cookies go to Charles Bety for being everywhere. Bety had a game high 9 shots on net (tied with CB's Stinziani), an assist and won 50% of his faceoffs.

3) The Mooseheads PP was better than in the preseason - 3/6 and their PK was better - allowing only 1/6.

4) The 'never say die' attitude displayed by the boys.

les nouvelles:
Mooseheads drop season-opener to Eagles
Eagles top Moose to open Q season

Moose vs Rocket:

The Mooseheads lost 7-4 as the result of a collapse in the end of the third period. What was all that off-season training for? Our love sessions require stamina. I will have no more of this shenanigans. I want tantric hockey.

Penalties. Too many of 'em to deal with PEI's successful power play (yes it feels weird to type that). Linden Bahm spent 4 minutes in the sin bin alone. Did Gabe O'Connor tell him that they keep porno mags in there? Well they don't!!! Besides, the quality of porno magazines has declined vastly in recent years. Do you really want to see Heidi Montag get naked? She is no Sasha Grey.

Hitting was down. Why don't my team like to hit the Rocket? You can break their faces. I don't mind.

Meine Liebe:
Give Vanille Kipferls to Konrad Abeltshauser for a goal and an assist. His point production so far is making me feel funny in my nether regions and he is only 17 years old.

Lineup: Mooseheads at Rocket
Rocket sink Mooseheads with big finish
Moose fall 7-4 to Rocket
Mooseheads' Russell finds the positives in a tough weekend

My love:
I went to pick up my season tickets and came face to face with three boys I like and am familiar with. This is a challenge on a team with 13 new players. Yes, Bernard, Bety and MacDonald were handling my section. *gasp Bernard*.

Bernard pawned me off on Alex MacDonald. Somehow I lived. I can't stay mad at Jessyko Bernard but what I can do is make Alex MacDonald an upper tier defenceman boyfriend. I am spiteful like that. Alex has his charms as well as a lot of hair for pulling.

Alex MacDonald challenges a PEI player in his new RBK EDGE je... on Twitpic

If Alex really wants to give me a "special gift" (I suspect that my Mooseheads mug is not really that special since everybody received one) what he can do is line up the team in the following order: coaches, goalies, defence, defensive forwards, scoring forwards, and lastly, injured/ missing players*. He can then run past the group with his hand at face level to produce an elongated slap motion. Defensive, my ass! A slap is what they get for allowing 13 goals in the past two games.

I will just have to figure out how to deal with this 3 Alex situation. We have an Alexandre Brunet, an Alex MacDonald and an Alex Lemieux. I can't even call them Thing 1 and Thing 2. Oh I know I could call them Brunet, MacDonald and Lemieux but that would be far too easy.

*Injured/missing players are not being defensively responsible.

Edit:Video - Moose vs Rocket

Moose vs Screagles highlights:

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