Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Don't aim so low.

From the Mooseheads website:

A busy off-season for the Halifax Mooseheads continued on Wednesday as members of the team were at the Nantucket Street McDonalds, lending their support to McHappy Day. McHappy Day is an annual event, where one dollar from every sale of a Big Mac, Happy Meal or McMuffin goes directly to a children’s charity.

Moose members on hand included Gabriel Desjardins, Gabriel O’Connor and Mathieu Corbeill, who all had a fun time contributing to the event. Desjardins may have had too much fun, as he climbed through the McDonalds play land area, entertaining young Moose fans, and signing autographs.

Corbeil and O’Connor also had a great time interacting with customers and the McDonalds employees. “This is really fun,” said Corbeil. “It’s too bad I have class later, because I could do this all day. The drive–thru is my favorite part”

My dearest little pigeon,
No, working at McDonalds is not fun and you should not aim to make it one of your life goals. Sure a summer job shows that you are a hard working, down to earth guy (sighs and thinks of Andrew White) but that is no need to fill your head with big dreams of working at a McD's.

If you are planning on being my number 1 QMJHL boyfriend next year you need a real job like 1) goaltender, 2) science student, 3) unassuming porn star or 4) ladies man. Yes, ladies man is a job - just ask the other goalies you know. It pays big dividends.

Furthermore, you will never be an unassuming porn star or ladies man with that hair. Are you involved in some sort of Fro-off competition or just trying out as the mop in the off-broadway version of Beauty and the Beast?

Sweetie, the hair has got to go! I am not trying to pull any Sampson and Delilah bullshit on you, I just want you to be your best. That involves dressing dapper, trimming your nose and ear hair, plucking the occasional stray eyebrow, and keeping your mane in check... because right now you are not stopping pucks for me and without the goalie gear the rest of it suddenly becomes very relevant.


1 comment:

The Canadian said...

My brain went "BAD! Bad hockey player! NO! we do not work at the McDonalds!..." LOL

#1 job = goalie? I'm pretty sure it's not a job. They are really just naturally that amazing with amazing hair. *sigh* I'm utterly hilarious today.