Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Bryce Swan aka Don Juan

Are you dating Bryce Swan? Are you not sure? If this sounds like you then you might want to join this facebook group.

Bryce Swan aka Don Juan:

The ladies love him - even some boys are caught up in his man beauty. Don't look directly at his smile... you'll be hypnotized by the shine and by the fact that he plays on the X-Men Hockey team.

There are several girls who may think they are dating him, but in all reality are just part of his tangled web of hearts. According to Bryce, he is "single and ready to mingle".

After being used and abused by this heartbreaker, it is time to put the hearts and minds of confused girls everywhere to rest.

You are not dating Bryce Swan if:
1. he sends you sex-messages also known as text messages. He send them to everyone.
2. He calls you pet names including: baby girl, honey bunny, sugar tits, sassy pants, beautiful or mama.
3. as much as he talk about it...he isn't putting his p in your v.
4. you have been "hanging out" for a month... but still don't know any of his friends, nor have you ever seen HIS house.
5. he gets more than 5 text messages when you are hanging out alone with him. They are not all from his mom.
4. he goes on ghost hunts with you, or shares special moments with you
5. he drives you places - like to class - in his sweet ride.
6. when you ask to hang out at 10... he pushes it back to 12 -> he's got a strict schedule of dates.
7. he sits next to you in class.
8. you have heard the words "I'm too busy with the hockey team to give what you need / be in a committed relationship with you".
9. You only leave the pub through the back door.
10. you are his friend on facebook

Concerning the statement that the NHL wants him but he would rather be playing for X - well that part is simply bullshit.

I used to be dating Bryce Swan but then Keven Veilleux made chicken legs at him and he did nothing. I found this simply intolerable, so I dumped his ass for a Newf - Andrew White. Those were the days. I miss Andrew White. I do not miss Bryce Swan.

So it turns out that many people may be dating Bryce Swan, at least 41...sadly though, his fanclub only has two members. My friend NB, who is from North Sydney, is definitely not dating that lothario Bryce Swan. She did not enjoy the way he was trying to pick up her friend on a late night pizza date. Oh and the fact that he was not single at the time.


"Dave Schultz" said...

so if more than one of the items on the list is happening, does that mean that I am dating Bryce Swan?

I get #1, #2, #8, #10. Doesn't that count as dating?

Q-girl said...

I think he is an enigma and impossible to have all to yourself. One girl alone cannot handle a Bryce Swan.

I also think 1,2,8 and 10 totally should count as dating. It will just mean that you have more boys to juggle though.

"Dave Schultz" said...

I'm fine with juggling boys. and their balls. Or whatever.