Thursday, January 29, 2009

I feel funny down there

Ladies of Fredericton, please give Travis Fullerton (former Sea Dogs goaltender) some loving. I can't do it; I am too old and too far away to get my grubby hands on him. You know you love him, yes, you know you do. He is irresistible. But...keep your hands off my goddamn Fullerton Jersey this time - it is mine. Bitch, I will claw your eyes out.

From the daily gleaner:
UNB goaltender Travis Fullerton bumped his personal string of shutout minutes to 254 minutes, 38 seconds and recorded his league-leading third shutout of the season, turning aside 13 shots.

Fullerton shook off the shutout stat as coolly as he did any of the 13 shots the Tommies sent his way this night.

"It's a good individual stat," he shrugged when presented with the number. "Obviously, I'm extremely happy to be playing well. But it's just a stat, it doesn't really mean anything."

Fullerton went long stretches without touching the puck. The Tommies didn't get their first shot until the game was 11 minutes old. It was 12 minutes into the third before Fullerton got to participate.

It doesn't really mean anything? Dude, it means, like, 12 free blowjobs or something. The naughty kind. Clearly you must be able to receive some sort of sexual services for this.

3 comments:

Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

Love the title.

And 12 free blowjobs? Ay caramba!

wrap around curl said...

What a sexy sexy streak. Really.

Maybe even 13 blowjobs.

Q-girl said...

I was thinking of a bakers dozen too...but it is just because I am so nice. See the little #13 behind Mats there in eyebleaf's pic. It also recommends the baker's dozen.

Right now I bet Navin was wishing he could be running on a 254min38 shutout streak. It basically equals one bj (no hands) for every period without a goal allowed. Think you can do it? I think this should be adequate motivation for all goaltenders.

Please take note: This was my skankiest comment EVAR.