Thursday, October 2, 2008

I have not been loving my secret lovers

Oh Sea Dogs, I know I have wronged you, but it is hard to get my love on with you when half of the lineup and most of your über huge defencemen are missing. Are we all back together now? Good!

Now stop being lazy-ass hobos and start winning games. I hope you took the time you had off this week to recoup, get your head away from your NHL systems, back onto your QMJHL systems and start playing some damn hockey. You know what I am talking about! I am talking about this:
2:1 loss against Shawinigan (acceptable)
5:4 loss against Victoriaville (unacceptable)
6:3 loss against Montreal (prepare that ass for a paddling)
5:2 loss against Cape Breton (Get me David Bouchard - I have a prison that will hire him as a guard)

Dudes you have a 7, 2 and 5 record - WTF? You lost to the Titan. You are tied with Halifax in points (4pts) for 4th place in the Atlantic and we TOTALLY SUCK because we are in a rebuilding year. You, however, you have no excuses (except that a good chunk of your team were away at NHL camps...but not during that last hideous road trip).

Four QMJHL teams have cracked the CHL top 10 rankings and YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM:

1. Windsor Spitfires (4-0-0-0)
2. Moncton Wildcats (6-0-0-0)
3. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles (6-1-0-0)
4. Swift Current Broncos (4-0-0-0)
5. Guelph Storm (4-0-0-0)
6. Spokane Chiefs (3-1-0-0)
7. Drummondville Voltigeurs (5-0-0-1)
8. Vancouver Giants (4-0-0-1)
9. Belleville Bulls (2-1-0-0)
10. Shawinigan Cataractes (5-2-0-0)

Robert Mayer. Tsk Tsk. You get a three year contract with the Habs and THIS is what you come back to junior to do. A 0.783 save % game against Montreal. "Oh, I have tightness in my calf - it hurts, Boo HOO". I thought you were stretchy invincible - like a rubberman who feels no pain, and now you want to go and play that 'I am only human' card with me. I call shenanigans!!! Why don't you just hand Jake Allen the QMJHL defensive player of the week award. Oh he has already won it - very good. Carry On. At least he doesn't have an NHL Contract yet? What, he's working on it? Oi!

Next thing I know they will be telling me that you personally delivered that defensive player of the month award to Nicola Riopel, goaltender for the Moncton Wildcats. You know him, he was that other QMJHL goalie at Habs training camp, the one who DID NOT earn a three year contract.

Maybe all you need is the leadership of your captain, Alex Grant, who has been recovering from a concussion since leaving Penguins Training camp (damn you Penguins). According to Sea Dogs beat reporter Nathan White at the Telegraph Journal, Captain Alex will be back in action tonight.

"It's great. He's our captain, our leader and the face of the franchise," said Ryan Sparling, the only player besides Grant remaining from the original 2005-06 Sea Dogs. "Besides being a great friend of mine, he's someone everybody looks up to for leadership and his on-ice abilities."

The Dogs hope he can provide a lift after they dropped three straight on the road to run their losing streak to four, the longest since a five-game slide in February 2007.

"It feels good (having Grant back on the ice)," said Beaulieu. "When you're missing your captain, your leader, it's tough for everybody. We had a really hard weekend with guys coming in and out (as other players returned from NHL camps). I found it difficult as a coach."

I must say, I do still love me some Simon Despres. I have batch after batch of uneaten cookies just building up in my kitchen. Won't someone send Simon here to eat these cookies. He broke a kid (Michael Bournival) in Shawinigan - literally broke him with a hit. Once again, it is the Telegraph Journal / Nathan White that has published a new article profiling Simon Despres. Let's just say that the first lines go something like this:
The Saint John Sea Dogs have been riding a horse through the early stages of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League season. Rather, they've been riding the young man they call "Horse."
Giddy-up Simon, giddy-up.

You want me to learn more about the Titan and their roadtrip, and the fact that my Titan boyfriend Tomy Joly had two assists in a win over the 'Piques (and Gellidonuts totally got pulled). They even have a Tomy Joly feature article published in The Northern Light - purrrr.
"In the room, he is a quiet leader, but he leads by example on the ice," he said. "Tomy is an excellent two way player and he finishes his checks...You can't have a nicer kid. He's a nice quiet kid off the ice. You want to raise your kids the way he was raised. He's a very pleasant young man, always in a good mood and very easy to talk to."

I never noticed Tomy doing the two way thing, mostly when I watch the Titan I just see some guys faking injury, then red; or Tomy getting too many goals against my team because he is an offensive powerhouse...and more red. The Moose have a wretched history of loss against the Titan.

Maybe someone just wants me to see that their newspaper has a picture of my new baby goalie boyfriend MCT.

...and what about the Wildcats, their new OHL free agent pick up Matt Lahey and their new 'too many overagers problem', their massive abundance of first round picks, the fact that they are damn near perfect, and the fact that they may face their toughest challenge yet this season in the Shawinigan Cataractes this Friday.

I care not for the Titan or The Wildcats. These are not my secret lovers. I am no skank. Though I must say I love the New Brunswick newspapers. Dudes...I want news coverage like this for my team.

edit - I got a Justin Pender Story from the Chronicle Herald. wheeee.
edit 2 - ugh. The Sea Dogs lost again ...and they had some roster changes. Last years third goaltender Troy Passingham was released. I need to be paying more attention to my Sea Dogs lovers...they need love right now. Lots of it.


wrap around curl said...

Smack your boys into shape...

Q-girl said...

ugh. I have no clue why they are so bad. Do they miss Travis Fullerton that much?

The win record should read, 7 games: 2W, 5L. It kinds reads like 7 wins, 2 losses and 5 OTsomethings. I wrote that incorrectly. Someone smack me - preferably with a goalie stick.