Saturday, July 19, 2008

NoMeansNo

Ugh Angelo, I said NO. They don't call it Hotlanta because of you, they call it Hotlanta because of Lehtonen (and soon enough Pavelec). How many times will I have to say no before you get it through your thick skull. The order goes: goalies, defensemen, defensively minded forwards. Nowhere on that list is there 'skill forwards'. I do not date speedy skill forwards except for Squirrels Giroux and that is because he has a good all around game. Sure he is good on the PP but he also kills on the PK and for that I would give the boy a nut.

Fine, I will admit that I have also accepted dates with all of the Sea Dogs (irrespective of size or defensive skill), Keven Veilleux (but only because he is 10 ft tall), and Francis Paré (only once, and that was because I was convinced that he was a nerdy scientist).

You still want a date? Fine, convince me. Tell me a little more about yourself. You would also like me to read the recent prospect camp review at Hockey's future. You are a lot of work. Most boys just take off their shirt and spank me with their stick. It works every time, kinda like my pickup line "do you like hockey and blowjobs?"

Ok, I had Pare put on his glasses and read it; he gave me the gist, but I'm still thinking mmmmNO. I also think it was frivolous of you to spend your entire signing bonus on hair gel. You should have saved that money for a fancy meal, now if I were to say yes we would have to eat out at St Hubert.

I should check your stats? Sorry I tried, I was going to compare your 2007-2008 regular season numbers to Mooseheads undrafted wee hitting machine (and sexy glasses wearer) PJ Corsi but apparently the QMJHL website has not been updated since 1969/03/21 at 11:43 PM (Eastern time)*. I hear the Cornwall Royals are gonna look really good next year. It's still 1969 right?


If you insist I will make you a deal, you take off your shirt and invite two of your defensemen
to join us; then maybe I will reconsider. Yeah Brennan, Wall, Pomerleau, any will do. When it comes to Ds I'm not very picky.


*the QMJHL website sometimes exists in a void outside of our space-time continuum

12 comments:

"Dave Schultz" said...

Does that pickup line work? I may have to try it...

alix said...

I'm totally stealing your pick up line...

Q-girl said...

I can't see why it wouldn't. Not that I would know - I am shy.

Q-girl said...

PS. You can totally use it Alix. I don't think my bf would appreciate me using it...on the boy up the street...the shirtless, tattooed, buff, tanned boy who sits on his steps drinking beer with his 3 cute roommates.

wrap around curl said...

Oh I will use that pick up line. I am sure it will be met with great success. I think that line should be on tshirts for us.

Q-girl said...

Good Idea Hza. That way you don't have to say anything - just point at your boobs. It is great for us shy types.

alix said...

PS. You can totally use it Alix.

Bitchin! I can't see this failing.

Grégoire said...

If I ever meet a girl who says something like that to me, I marry her.
This line is money in the bank.

araiderchick81 said...

I'm stealing that line, girl!! Now what about Angelo? He's kind of cute, don't ya think? I'll bet you could teach him some D-moves.....

Q-girl said...

@ araiderchick81
Agreed, Angelo has the dreamy brooding Italian guy thing down, but I have to have standards and I draw the line at "thinks he is too special to backcheck". By theoretically saying no to Angelo I am practicing my own D moves.

@ Grégoire
Who said we want to get married? You men should stop pushing weddings and babies on us. All you talk about all the time is weddings and babies - it is enough to drive a girl away.

Grégoire said...

Hmmm... OK.
Well, I hadn't really thought about the babies, but now that you mention it, that would be cool too.

Q-girl said...

babies are soooo not cool.