Monday, March 10, 2008

Time to hang up your Boa

Well thank God (whom I don’t believe in) for a Logan MacMillan fight because that felt like the only thing worth watching today, even though the Moose defeated PEI 5-4 in the shootout. For an example of a Logan fight here is an old picture of a Logan fight from the Lewiston game.

MacMillan has fought more since his return on January 18th than he did all last year. I like when an ‘elite’ guy is not afraid to get his hands dirty. Unfortunately, he received a 15 (5+10) minute penalty for not having his fight strap appropriately attached. I didn’t hear any girls complaining. Sure I was the only girl in the room, but fuck semantics.

It’s not just the sudden bout of scrappiness we find intriguing, but we like that he was the source of insurmountable levels of gossip throughout December and January. No, he did not have exhaustion or post-concussion symptoms, but was secretly abducted by the Ninjas Marchand and Voracek and taken with them on their trip to Europe during the IIHF’s. The battle between countries was not for a gold metal and a fancy cup but was instead for the rights to one Mr. Logan MacMillan. The winning country could then do with this boy as they pleased. Sacrifice him to their gods, use him as a human sushi platter, fashion him into some sort of sunshield to protect twilight Mats Sundin, or harvest his teeth for Jagr. Damn good thing Canada won.

We also like that MacMillan comes in two flavours: Logan (which is plain) and Yogan, which I’m presuming is some sort of Yogurt covered Logan. Someone in the crowd was apparently suffering from a Yogan deficiency. Oh, and there is P-O, everybody blow him kisses.

Did I mention that Logan's daddy was a NJ Devil? This is very important.

Here is the object we are supposed to put pucks past: Marc-Antoine Gélinas, or as I like to call him Geli-donuts. Pucks are supposed to be shot around him, not at him. We are not trying to break him and release his Geli filled center.

As for the rest of the game, well let's just say that tonight I somehow found myself watching The Pussycat dolls present: Girlicious, and that was more exciting than Moose vs Rocket. I was more intrigued by what was happening in the Eagles vs Seadogs game. I tuned into Dogs vs Eagles for a couple of minutes and saw the Dogs on a PK. Fullerton was throwing himself all over the crease. I was dying for a twist. Sea dogs won 4-2, thus moving them back into second place in the East. Then I went back to our game. Yawn. It’s a sad situation when I would rather watch Sea Dogs vs. Eagles than watch my own team.

I tried to do a point by point recap, but I didn’t get far and it went something like this:

  1. PEI goal on first shot. Just like against Moncton yesterday
  2. I hate you so much right now Cam Russell
  3. A breakaway for the Rocket
  4. Rocket penalty shot.
  5. 5 minutes into the game - In the hole 2-0
  6. I hate you so much Cam Russell
  7. We score on pp - Corsi. Goal waved off for high stick.
  8. I hate you so much Cam Russell

Then I quit. We couldn’t even capitalize on a 5 on 3 which lasted for more than one minute. Sometimes I am a very bitter little hockey fan. I have been bitter since Friday. There are people who have to deal with me in real life when I get like this, and they do not like it.

The penalty on Bouchard was dumb. It is almost as if there is some sort of anti-Bouchard agenda. Every time Bouchard so much as breathes near a guy he gets a penalty. Speaking of Bouchard, I need to have a talk with him about where he got his fake ID, because he does not look 19 - maybe somewhere between 25-30. Most people have fake IDs to age them; but like Bouchard and Picard-Hooper of the Sea Dogs, I need one to make me just a touch younger. My motives are mine, and mine alone to know.

I have a new trick for you. It is called backchecking. I think you have been spending too much time with Marchand and his bad habits are rubbing off on you. We can work on the backcheck trick when you get home. Holy -3 little puppy.

I have packed up my stuff and moved out. This just feels wrong. Your abominable snow palace is very poorly insulated and I have been running up the heating bill. Let me know when it comes in and I will pay you back. Lucky for me I kept the lease on my old apartment, so you know where to find me. I hope we can still be friends.



Points race time :

Mathieu Perreault (Bat) - 107
Claude Giroux (Gat) - 105
Francis Pare (Chi) - 99
Jakub Voracek (Hal) - 99
Dean Oulette (Cap) - 94

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