Saturday, March 1, 2008

Maritimers do it with....uhhh, fishyness?

Who said netminders have to be Quebecois to be special?
Last night Jake Allen, a native of Fredericton NB and the rookie netminder for the St John's fog Devils got his second career QMJHL shutout. The Fog Devils defeated The Cape Breton Screaming Eagles 6-0, with Allen stopping 38 shots. Allen had previously shut down the Eagles back on Sept 29 2007. Last time I checked he was ranked #25 in North American goaltenders for this years NHL draft.Meanwhile, St John's NFLD native Ryan Mior who plays for the Gatineau Olympiques recorded his 6th shutout of the season when the Olympiques faced the Shawinigan Chrétiens (7-0). This makes Mior officially hotter than that Sexy Pixie José Théodore who recorded 5 shutouts for the 'piques in the 1995-96 season. Mior has 15 career shutouts in the QMJHL; he previously broke the QMJHL record when he got his 14th SO on Feb 9, 2008. I have no pictures of Ryan because when the 'piques came to town both myself and my bestest hockey buddy CG forgot our cameras - silly girls. Mior is currently ranked 1st in the league with a GAA of 2.66 and a SV% of 0.904 in 50 games. MIOR HAS NOT BEEN DRAFTED TO THE NHL.

I could love you more Mior - if only you played in the East. I had a date once with D'Orso and that jerk totally stood me up - and it was our only date all year. He left me with an eyebrow and an excellent view of Mathieu Cote letting in 10 goals. This is why I don't trust boys from the Telus.
When a good goalie comes to town I try to get a seat on their end of the ice (sections 6-7, or 24-25). It makes P-O angry that I am not concentrating all my love on him but he gets oodles of my love and I don't think he even knows or appreciates how much I adore him. I could go on but it gets creepy.

Anywho... back to blowouts. Allen and Mior left Cape Breton and Shawinigan at home crying and licking their wounds. If it makes them feel better maybe they can have an orgy and videotape it. Ahh yes, the infinite puckbunny problem. I am disturbed by this puckbunny forum. I had myself a thorough shower, and then I went out and bought a paddle. I want to bend every QMJHL player I meet over my knee and give them a good spankin' (they would probably like that), then hand them over a 36 pack of condoms and tell them to at least avoid the self-organized super-skanks.

I have a date tonight with Moncton. Who will it be: Nicola Riopel or Charles Lavigne? Lavigne wants my ass so bad. Why else would he lift up his cage/helmet so much? You don't need to lift the helmet to take a drink. Plus, the ol' pokedy-poke is the number one trick in his box. He knows I melt for a good poke-check... but every time Charles? It is coming off a little bit desperate. I think I saw him poke check all four shooters once in a shootout win against CB.

Let's hope tonights game is nothing like our last home game against Moncton. That game was sad. It can be described thusly by this picture:
"Yeti Dance?"
"Bryce Swan like Yeti Dance, ohhhhh"
"Gabe keep puck on stick, keep feet on ice, don't hit glass. Gabe skate good."



Quick hits interview with Remparts Goalie Kevin Desfossés from QMJHL

Lockview high school boys hockey team
We need to pull the sticks out of our collective asses Nova Scotia. I thought it was funny. Bart Simpson was totally correct, FUN IS FUN. I don't know what is funnier - the write ups or people's prudish reactions to the write-ups. When I was in high school the hockey team had a party that someone had the smarts to videotape (FYI - In HS I would not be caught dead hanging out with those knuckle dragging hockey players). The boys had a panty sniffing contest, trying to identify which girl owned which panties... it just gets worse from there. The video tape leaked. Parents and principals were shocked and enraged.

We were all in high school at some point so we all know high school boys are not innocent. They are just selfish, inexperienced, raging balls of hormones that blow their loads in about 2 minutes. High school girls are so lucky - mmmm satisfying.

That being said, words are words...they are not porno videos or panty sniffing contests.

Crystal-Ball HueT destroyed Marty. Marty is getting a bit desperate lately and has been using a lot of stick.

you are a fine wine and the boys of the Q are, at best, a beer (except my P-O, he is an appletini.....mmmmm yummy). Now I know everybody likes a good beer, but I LOVE a whole bottle of wine. Classy. No need to be jealous of these kiddies at all. Mental hugs.

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