Wednesday, August 5, 2009

They are making me feel like a loba

I am trying to figure out what exactly Cam Russel is trying to do to me by inviting 10 additional goalies to camp. Yes 10!!! Am I frustrated already? You betcha! I feel heartbreak setting in. I hate watching them get picked off and sent home, one-by-one.

First, we have returning goaltender Mathieu Corbeil (18) who would actually count as goalie #11. If Mat is well behaved and plays this upcoming season like he ended his play in January of last season then we shouldn't have a problem.

Unfortunately for him, if the Moose bring in a 19 year old goalie to back him up, that player is automatically upped to official high-ranking boyfriend status (I am looking at you Dumaresque and Brisebois). Elite boyfriend status is reserved for 20 year olds. Those Mooseheads goalies will then remain my ibffl (imaginary boyfriend for life) - at least until they lose their hair or get married, whichever comes first. Jeremy Duchesne must have really disliked me because he followed up hair loss with marriage and he is only 22ish. We are sooooo broken up.

Jérémie Forbes Brisebois -19-
Pros: tall, has playing the puck urges
Cons: age, distractingly pouty lips, a whole lot of legs worth of 5-hole, will make Mathieu feel normal sized

Forbes-Brisebois image from Multiconcessionnaire website

Brandon Decker (edit- nope) -18-
Pros: bold 'n saucy Newf (just a guess), looks brooding and intense, just the right size, once wore orange pads (it is my favorite colour), thinks Miley Cyrus is ugly
Cons: bold n' saucy Newf (WTF are the Moose trying to do to me?), likes Lundqvist
Decker image from the Icepack website

Stefan Dumaresque -19-
Pro's: cute as 1000 puppies in a basket of kitten skins, very violently scrappy (and goalie rage makes me feel funny down there), did I mention that he was cute?, good stats when playing for the Western Caps, his name is dreamy
Cons: stats while with the Tigers (but his team was baaaaaad), normal boyfriend size, age

Dumaresque image from MJAHL website

Kody Blois -18-
Pros: good save % on a crappy team, eyebrows* to die for
Cons: likes baseball, unfortunate hair choices, normal boyfriend size, GAA (but his team was baaaaaad), grammar - 'proved' is not a word but but 'tryoutees' totally is.

Blois picture from Halifax Lion's website

Joel Grondin -17-
Pros: won a defensive player award once, fluffy helmet hair, just the right size
Cons: looks better without the hat

Grondin picture from L'avantage en ligne
Conditional tryoutees:
Jonathan Connelly -18-
pros: QMJHL experience, Travis Fullerton was a Lewiston reject - we may be on to something here
cons: possibly less cute than our draft pics (Cam and Marcell liked them cuddly looking) but you can't trust Lewiston team photos, size (small and skinny)

Connelly image from QMJHL website

OK that is ONLY 6 additional goalies. So who are the rest? I am missing four. Step up and fess up boyos...or don't. I wish I had sources.

EDIT: Well Matthew Wuest just answered my question by posting the entire training camp roster. Brandon Decker is OUT. A birdie says Moncton? Lucky bastards! Other boys on the list include Justin Collier (19), Anthony Kimlin (19), Gatlin Burt (18), Justin Farrell (18) and Randy Chisholm (17).

*this is perhaps the MOST important thing in the world

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