Sorry my lovelies. I have been missing. I was sequestered some place very tropical, without internet and miles and miles from hockey. On the plus side I discovered tetra packs filled with rum. OH YES I DID.
Besides not making it into the QMJHL playoffs (yep they are still going on) a few exciting things have happened in Mooseland. I am not qualified to comment on them but you just know that I can't keep my mouth shut. If you ask me to keep it shut I would have to do that in various situations where you might not want me to. It can be a very useful thing.
1) Goaltending coach Patrick Dallaire's contract was not renewed. I have mentioned in the past how I feel about Dallaire so there is no need to rehash it except to say that apparently there really are hockey Gods. They were just testing me by keeping Dallaire on year after year despite some repeated gutwrenchingly bad performances by our netminders. Dallaire has been replaced by Brad MacCharles. MacCharles kind-a-look-a-like-a hottie. Just saying.
2) Former Mooseheads player Jason Troini has also joined the Mooseheads coaching staff.
3) Justin friggin Pender!!! Did you ever think you would see the day that someone would give Justin mutherfuckin Pender an amateur try-out for a professional hockey team? Did you ever think that he would be called up to play for the Lowell mutherfuckin Devils? MY DEVILS ORGANIZATION!!!
You know it's shocking because the Devils spend all their time hunting and pecking for the most defensively responsible players EVER. Pender makes some big boo boos.
One thing he does have going for him is a kickie newf accent, another is new-found luxurious hair and the third is a bullet of a shot from the point. It was that very shot (not the hair OR the accent) that got him his very first AHL point in his very first AHL game - when the Devils took on the Hartford Wolf Pack (aka baby Rangers) and won by a score of 3-2. Points = ladies. Pender is out with Matt Halischuk getting himself some Massachusetts pussay.
Are there any words to describe this fucked up situation? How about - GO PENDER!!!