Thursday, February 19, 2009

Long time no see

Edit - Bah - TONIGHT'S GAME IS CANCELLED. We are waiting for Sparling to get back into the SeaDogs lineup so he can thoroughly screw us over...yeah that's it. Read the rest of the blog post with caution.

For those not in the know, the Saint John Sea Dogs are my secret lovers. If I have to cheat on the Moose with any team in the league, it is the Sea Dogs. They know all the right buttons to push. Except, lately... I have no idea who the Sea Dogs are. Christmas brought a rush of trades. They quit on me and I have not had a fling with the Dogs since they let me down. I have been avoiding them because I don't want them to ply their old seductive tricks on me. I find them hard to resist.

The Sea Dogs will be back in town tonight, dragging along with them some of my old lovers: Stich, Despres, Sauve, Kirkpatrick and some new faces (who the hell is that guy? - I have really been keeping away from my Sea Dogs - I have no idea who half of these guys are, but Simon's eyebrows remain magnificent). Luckily for the Moose big scorers Ryan Sparling (concussion) and Shea Kewin (illness) will not be in the lineup, and the dogs will be down to 11 forwards and 7 defencemen for tonight's romp.

As for my Moose, the CHL insider has provided me with the following bits of happy news: Yes, Jessyko is 5th on the team in points. 12 goals, 12 assists. How very well balanced of him.

The Moose are 3 points out of a spot for the playoffs. The other losers keep losing. This means that we have to start winning. Look at the following losermobile chart*....LOOK at it. Can it really be that difficult to get three points. We have a bunch of games remaining against PEI and if we can't slap them around like they are the kinda whores who like being slapped around then what is the point of even playing them? The Moose play PEI like PEI is their special girl. They gently cradle them and make sweet, sweet love to them; whisper sweet nothings in their rocket-y ears. It makes me sick. They would probably go see 'confessions of a shopaholic' or 'He's just not that into you' at the movies with the Rocket just because the Rocket asked them to. Oh gag me with a dick. Lady GaGa is so right when she says "and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun".

News links:

Matthew Wuest - It's do or die time for the Mooseheads
Yep the Moose have to start winning. Wuest says so too and he uses a picture of Gerrad Grant to go with his story and illustrate his point, which means all of the pressure is on Grant. It is up to him to win this game for us. The look on his face says "damn".

Also, Yetman is apparently both shining and sparkling. Dear boys - keep out of your girlfriend's body lotions!!! Boys are not supposed to wear sparkle lotions. Sparkles will flake off and get in his eyes and what is a goalie without his eyes - fucking useless.

The Gouge was named the CHL goalie of the week. His winning, and looking good doing it, is more frustrating than being told you are getting a special penis delivered directly to your door and it never shows up. Oh as if that would ever happen.

Other stupid stuff:
PEI have updated their website again to finally include player profile videos. I will link you directly to Bobby Nadeau. Ohhhh heeeeyyyy goalie! I do adore him but PEI are a fucking drag to watch and Bobby needs to do some SERIOUS work on those eyebrows. He is killing me over here. I have a very hard time crushing out when his eyebrows look like that. It is a totally fixable situation.

Just a point of fact - if you read the blog via RSS feed then you may never know who gets cookies. Also, I can't reverse stalk you via my stat counter. That is no fun for me! God, throw me a fricken bone (or boner, and make it huge) here my dearest readers. It is bad enough that this 'relationship' is so one sided.

*give Baie Comeau a bonus point. They went into OT last night.

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